In the two and a half years that we’ve been parents, we have only used a babysitter once. Sure we’ve left the kids with my in-laws on several occasions, but haven’t really used the services of a real live-zitty-braces wearing-angst ridden-sexual experimenting-text messaging-teenage babysitter. I think that living far from family and never really having any help with the kids has made me skiddish when it comes to trusting other people to care for my kids.
To be honest, I’m scared to death to leave my kids with someone. Some of my fears are valid. What if something bad happens while I’m gone? What if she hurt my children? What if she wasn’t paying attention while the kids were eating and one of them choked? What if, what if, what if…? My brain could explode from all the what ifs.
Some of my fears aren’t really fears at all, but rather my controlling personality taking over. I honestly feel like I’m irreplaceable and that no one else can do my “job” like I can. A babysitter couldn’t possibly know how I hold Ella just so before laying her in her bed to go to sleep. A babysitter won’t know what Carson is asking for and he’ll end up crying for three hours because she didn’t read the penants on his wall before he went to bed.
Writing that OUTLOUD makes me realize I need to get over myself. I also realize that I need time away from my kids, and not just on the weekends when Tate is home. An opportunity to go on a date with my husband would be wonderful, too.
I’ve been given the numbers of two potential and highly recommended babysitters. Actually, I’ve had their numbers for weeks and have yet to work up the nerve to call either one. I’m not sure what to even say if I were to work up my nerve. “Um, hi. Could you come over so that I can meet you and reassure me that you’re not going to inappropriately touch my child or shoot up heroine in my bathroom? Maybe you come over at 10:30 so we could meet? No? Why? Is that the time you’re meeting your dealer or your pimp??”
I do think that interviewing a potential babysitter is necessary, but the thought makes me even more nervous than calling and ordering a pizza. I really don’t know what to ask (and my cynical side tells me that they aren’t going to be exactly forthcoming with the sketchy details about their upbringings or slimy boyfriends.) Also, what is the going rate for a babysitter? We paid our one attempt babysitter $10/hour which I thought was excessive, but also a sort of insurance policy.
Please help. Mommy going crazy. In need of alone time. Got spoiled on Mother’s Day.