Why? WHY??? Why do I eat SO MUCH food, knowing how rotten I’ll feel afterwards???
This past weekend, we celebrated Ella’s first birthday with five pounds of pulled pork, six slabs of ribs, 27 gallons (not really, but A LOT) of potato salad, 40 tons (kidding!) of baked beans, and a huge sheet cake covered in homemade buttercream icing.
Also, beer.
I’m certain that I ate my weight, well my previous weight in food this weekend. Friday, I ate at least 2 cups of icing. “Butter, I’d like to introduce you to my ass. Ass, this is butter.”
If I owned a scale, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it screamed at me, “You’ve gained 27 pounds, you idiot. Ever heard of putting the fork down? Dummy.”
Eventhough my brain told me that my stomach was BEYOND full, I just kept shoveling it in. WHY??? Why can’t I stop when I’m full? I didn’t need seconds! Or thirds! Or to eat on Sunday at all! I’m suffering from a massive food hangover right now. Can you hear me moaning??
I promised pictures of my painstakingly decorated cake. Seriously, I’m so full right now that even looking at this cake makes me feel even more ill. **moan**
Since I’m already moaning and groaning, let’s discuss my cake decorating woes. CRUMBS! I curse you crumbs! Despite my crumb layer and putting the cake in the fridge before the final layer, the icing was still crummy. Delicious, yes, but so crummy. Grrr. Also, even with the fancy tips, I had a really hard time making a pretty edge. And the writing on the cake! Carson could have done a better job. **moooooo-oooh-ooan**
Maggie
May 19, 2008 at 3:11 pm
You could be a cake model! So cute!
And I totally understand about over-eating. I apparently think that I might not be able to find food for weeks after I have a party, and I consume as such. But funny, there are always leftovers the next day. Repeat process. Ugh.
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Alison
May 19, 2008 at 3:19 pm
That is FABULOUS!!! The cake, not your food hangover or your butter introductions.
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MamaGeek
May 19, 2008 at 4:31 pm
You AND that cake are freaking ADORABLE. And you’re so right, crumbs SUCKETH.
BTW, it took me over 4 minutes to load your blog today (yes I have high speed and yes you are totally still worth it).
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Cathy
May 19, 2008 at 4:47 pm
That cake looks awesome! Seriously.
Good job. We can’t see the crumbs, but those drive me crazy too. Ugh.
Nice job!
And I always eat too much at parties too. It’s just what you’ve got to do – ‘cuz everything is sooo yummy.
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Molly's Mom
May 19, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Who cares if it’s crummy? Dee-lish is allllll that matters!
And I totally have the hand with the broken automatic fork-pusher button. I understand.
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Karly
May 19, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I’m shocked by how Martha-ish you are. Crumb layers and homemade buttercream and all that. Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’m going to attempt my first homemade buttercream icing this week. We’ll see how it goes. Any tips?
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Trishy
May 19, 2008 at 7:16 pm
You are beautiful and so is the cake! And don’t be so hard on yourself…it’s fun to get carried away sometimes!
Christina
May 19, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Quit your moaning and groaning about how awful the cake turned out – it looks awesome and you know it, you’re just looking for us to all gush over it.
Christina’s last blog post..Pickin’ Strawberries
andi
May 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Dude. We are the same person. Just the other day I was thinking about how silly I’ve been blaming my recent weight gain on the baby (although like you I haven’t stepped on a scale in ages – I fear it!), when he’s almost a year old. I can no longer blame the weight on him. I guess I’m going to have to suck it up and actually start eating right and exercising again. Gah!
Oh, and about the cake. It looks fantastic. I plan on buying one for Arlo’s birthday – who’s the slackass now?
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Devilish Southern Belle
May 19, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I think the cake is gorgeous, and looks so yummy! I always get crumbs in my frosting no matter what, too.
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Cate
May 20, 2008 at 12:06 am
oh my gosh!!!! has it been a year already??? Happy Birthday Ella!
i personally think your cake looks fantastic! Zander just turned 3 on May 3rd, and he helped me decorated it….and it didn’t look anywhere near that good!
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Mrs. Chicken
May 20, 2008 at 7:41 am
Cake, gorgeous. You? Gorgeous AND skinny.
Marti
May 20, 2008 at 8:37 am
Your cake is lovely! And you are thinner than you think!
A tip for not overeating – drink a TON of water before people arrive. It really works.
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pgoodness
Twitter: pgoodness
May 20, 2008 at 10:05 am
wait, her name isn’t ella? which means carson isn’t carson?? you’re killing me here!! LOL
by the way – fabulous cake and kitchen!!
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Angie
May 20, 2008 at 10:57 am
Such a wonderful typical midwestern menu. I love it. Like seriously, I love that menu.
KEEP BELIEVING
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Bon
May 20, 2008 at 11:07 am
seriously, with a first birthday party like that and a cake that gorgeous, i would like to volunteer myself for you to adopt.
and then i promise you, there will be no excess of potato salad or icing for you to indulge on eVER again, because my ass will be stealing ALL the butter.
win win.
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Christina
May 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Are you kidding me? That cake is gorgeous! Mira’s birthday cake this weekend will be provided thanks to the bakery at the local Giant Eagle (grocery store). Because making a cake would require me to have some talent in baking, icing, and decorating, which I have none of the above.
One weekend of binging can’t cause that much damage. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, since I’m sure I’ll be joining you in an icing sugar high this weekend.
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Stephanie
May 20, 2008 at 5:47 pm
The cake looks great and what’s a birthday if you cant overeat?? You can get back on track now.
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Tena
May 21, 2008 at 9:17 pm
The cake looks beautiful, better than I could ever do. My kids will forever be the kids that get store bought cake… Martha Stewart I am not, baking and me, we are like vingear and oil!
And like you I eat until I feel like I am going to pop, just imagine if we learned to stop how many more beers we could have?!?!!
LOL
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Mommy Daisy
Twitter: mommydaisy
May 21, 2008 at 9:38 pm
You look so pretty! And I think the cake turned out wonderfully. You can see my son’s first and second cakes that I made myself (and if you look close I’m sure there are crumbs; the icing was melting on the first one). I am always VERY critical of myself. But you, my dear, rocked that cake!
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