Hungover. An Analysis of Overeating. Also, Cake Decorating Critique.
Why? WHY??? Why do I eat SO MUCH food, knowing how rotten I’ll feel afterwards???
This past weekend, we celebrated Ella’s first birthday with five pounds of pulled pork, six slabs of ribs, 27 gallons (not really, but A LOT) of potato salad, 40 tons (kidding!) of baked beans, and a huge sheet cake covered in homemade buttercream icing.
Also, beer.
I’m certain that I ate my weight, well my previous weight in food this weekend. Friday, I ate at least 2 cups of icing. “Butter, I’d like to introduce you to my ass. Ass, this is butter.”
If I owned a scale, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it screamed at me, “You’ve gained 27 pounds, you idiot. Ever heard of putting the fork down? Dummy.”
Eventhough my brain told me that my stomach was BEYOND full, I just kept shoveling it in. WHY??? Why can’t I stop when I’m full? I didn’t need seconds! Or thirds! Or to eat on Sunday at all! I’m suffering from a massive food hangover right now. Can you hear me moaning??
I promised pictures of my painstakingly decorated cake. Seriously, I’m so full right now that even looking at this cake makes me feel even more ill. **moan**
Since I’m already moaning and groaning, let’s discuss my cake decorating woes. CRUMBS! I curse you crumbs! Despite my crumb layer and putting the cake in the fridge before the final layer, the icing was still crummy. Delicious, yes, but so crummy. Grrr. Also, even with the fancy tips, I had a really hard time making a pretty edge. And the writing on the cake! Carson could have done a better job. **moooooo-oooh-ooan**
Sadly I do the same thing. It all still tastes good so that much mean I should keep eating. Right?!?!? Ugh!
The cake is beautiful. I’m sure Ella (A????? I am so curious to know her real name now) had a wonderful birthday party!
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You and I are so cut from the same cloth! I tell myself to put the @#O$U fork down all. the. time. ha!
Oh, and P.S. That cake looks wicked awesome! You did a GREAT job! I see no crumbs.
What a fun theme, too!!!
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The cake is BEAUTIFUL!! You dont overeat every day I’m sure.. from the looks of your pics you dont.. so dont sweat it. We’re allowed to do that sometimes!
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Cale? Beautiful. You? Beautiful. Your mad cake skillz? AWESOME.
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SHOOT - meant CAKE.
1 HANDED TYPING? not so much beautiful.
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nice job on the cake! i don’t see crumbs either.
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The cake is gorgeous! I don’t see a crumb anywhere.
amy’s last blog post..I’d Rather Have A Stranger See My Ass Like That
Ha–your PREVIOUS weight! Ha ha ha!
Also: stop criticizing that GORGEOUS cake. It looks professional.
Also-also: a scale that did that would be SO FUNNY. I would buy that.
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Ouch! You are hard on yourself. You couldn’t put down the fork because you made delicious food! You are not overweight at all–give yourself a break. As to the cake, I wasn’t sure when I first saw pictures, until I started reading, if you had decided to just buy a cake. I think it looks beautiful. You rock! Be good to yourself. There’s a whole world out there waiting to knock people down–don’t give them any help! I can’t even believe with two small children, you pulled off everything you did this weekend. I say you deserve applause.
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Great job on the cake …. and the food. Next time you have a spread like that put a couple extra slabs of ribs on for me. Mmmmm, it all sounded and looked good!
~Jef
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Well, if you hadn’t dropped the giant globs of white icing all over A’s name, it would have looked better. Still, it looks like a fabulous cake!
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My kids made a cake for me for Mothers’ Day. The next morning morning I just started eating for breakfast. I’ve never heard of self control. You look really great though I’m sure a couple of cups of icing won’t hurt you.
Good looking cake, we can’t see any crumbs.
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FUN! A Hawaii party…as my Kid would say. He wants a luau too…in July. Thanks Backyardigans. You wanna ship me over all your leftover decorations?? (kidding!)
The cake is awesome! I usually get a cake from the local wearhouse place (costco here) and just have them put the “Happy Birthday NAME” part and then I decorate the rest. I did an awesome Nemo cake for the Kid’s 1st Bday, and if I could figure out how to drop while icing on his name I would totally post it.
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As for the cake decorating (and from a former Baskin Robbins & DQ Cake Decorating EXPERT {my own label})… Shhh, shhh, now. Your cake decorating is BEAUTIFUL.
Also?
My ass has requested the pleasure of your ass’s company. My ass, in true Ron Burgundy style, “wants to be ON” your ass.
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I hear you on the food thing. But your cake is gorgeous! Seriously. Head over to my place and take a gander at the cake I decorated for my kids this weekend. It was a tiny bit less sophisticated.
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What in the heck are you talking about?! That cake is gorgeous!
And pulled pork and potato salad? No wonder you couldn’t stop eating! My mouth is watering just thinking about it!
Jackie’s last blog post..Sigh.
I don’t like cake much, but had that been a ridiculously oversized cheesecake with a super crunchy crust and strawberry syrup on it, I’d have eaten the entire thing in one sitting. Yes.
lol You know, I used to care about how a cake looked…but now I don’t. If it is a homemade cake I just don’t care. I don’t like the amount of icing that it would take to hide the crumbs (like what is on store bought cakes)…I like more of a thin layer of icing…which always has crumbs. If people don’t like the way my cake looks then they don’t have to eat it much less look at it.
But, your cake looks good. I am sure no one noticed anything wrong unless you TOLD them that the writing was crappy and there were crumbs in the icing.
BTW….I thought the writing looked better than my writing and the icing looked great.
Sandy’s last blog post..Why…
I think that cake looks great! I also have a helluva time trying to decorate them though.
Seriously, that sounds like an awesome menu for a birthday party, and IMO how could anyone have resisted eating so much? yum.
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oh the food coma….so gross the day after, but sooo good the day of!
seriously though you have some mad cake skills!! it’s beautiful!!
and how cute are you in your beautiful kitchen - such a proud mama!
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I torture myself the same way…every weekend.
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It’s gorgeous and SO is that hair, that I’ll never stop loving on YOU.
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I think there must be a magnet in our hands that won’t let us put the fork down until a certain about of miserability has been achieved. By the way, I think the cake looks great!
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I, too, am feeling the effects of this weekend. Good thing I am not working this week and I can wear stretchy pants!
The food, the cake and the party was fantastic. Thanks for a wonderful weekend!!!
Also, I didn’t make the pulled pork and ribs, I had them catered. Expensive, but smart.
The cake looks fabulous - and so does your hair!
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I could drone on and on about how you are probably trying to emotionally fill yourself up with food.
(OH, the platitudes you have seared into your brain when you tipped the scales at 280 lbs.).
I COULD do that, but I am too distracted by how totally yummy that cake looks.
MMM…Frosting…
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I think the cake is adorable! One hundred times better than I could ever do!
Is it wrong that I am starving after reading your post? Put the fork down is not in my vocabulary.
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The cake looks great! And the handwriting, shut up. That looks soooo much better than any writing I ever did on cakes, and I’ve had years of practice.
I’ll tell you what will motivate you to put the fork down. Find out an old high school sweet heart will be back in your hometown for 8 weeks. THAT will motivate you to put the fork down.
Ok, I have to go exercise and diet some more now…
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It looks fabulous!! It takes far too many years of practice for a perfect edge…but I can’t see the crumbs
Here’s a tip, though…once you’ve made your pounds of butter cream, separate it into two batches, one for the crumb coat, one for the top coat. No matter how hard I try, I always get pieces of crumb in my frosting if I don’t separate!
But it looks beautiful!! I’m sure Ella loved it
Well, if she didn’t care, I’m sure your ass loved it. Mine is wishing it had a bite right now!
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Beautiful cake! I love the color scheme and the fact that your outfit coordinates with the cake!
As for the overeating . . . I’ve got no wisdom to share. I’m missing the “all things in moderation” gene. Plus, now that I am 34 weeks pregnant, the baby is shrinking my stomach or something. I recently polished off a DQ Blizzard and then had to lie in agony on the couch for the next sixty minutes. I knew after about five bites that I needed to put the rest in the freezer for another time, but I didn’t do it.
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I think your cake looks amazing! If it makes you feel any better, I am also suffering from a food hangover/coma. Yet, it didn’t stop me from finishing off the last few cookies this morning.
we just have to dust off the cookie/pie/cake crumbs, pull ourselves together and vow to do better starting NOW!
The cake looks great and delish! And from the picture it looks like you can afford to overeat a bit!
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You’re right. Your cake is crap.
Just kidding. Figured you could use a break from all of us telling you how great it actually looks. I’m really impressed that it looks so bright and cheerful and I LOVE the flowers in the corner. So pretty.
I was in charge of dessert for my church group last night and I made boxed brownies, and topped them with ice cream and Hershey’s syrup. Mad skillz.
all things BD’s last blog post..Some Thoughts on Yesterday’s Event
Cake? What cake? I was looking at your cute hair and your awesome kitchen!
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In the picture, I can’t see any crumbs, but I know how you feel when YOU know they are there.
I just completed a cake decorating class. The best tip I learned was to take a pin (long, stick pin, like used for pinning flowers at a wedding) and pick up the crumbs. Then, use a Viva paper towel (with NO pattern) when the icing is no longer sticky. Lay the paper towel on the icing and gently press out any lumps and bumps created by the pin or the spatula. Maybe you already knew the smoothing trick because I can’t see any spatula marks either.
I, too just had the over eating dilemma at lunch. I was full after half of my pulled pork sandwich but I had to finish the other half. It’s as if my brain thinks I will never be allowed to eat this yummy thing ever again!
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the cake is beautiful. i hear you on the crumbs in the frosting thing. I can’t figure out how to keep that from happening, either
i was at a grad party yesterday and ate way too much, too. and the host kept coming around with the daquaries and pina coladas, and i just couldn’t say no. Then i abused myself on the eliptical machine during the two hour desperate housewives finale, in an attempt to make up for it. oh.. aching me.
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Mad props for making the cake. It was lovely! And delicious-looking, too! (: I cheat and make the food but buy the cake….
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SUPER cute cake!
Also, is that your kitchen??? I love the countertops! (Is that random of me?
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Tee hee… If I owned a scale, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it screamed at me, “You’ve gained 27 pounds, you idiot. Ever heard of putting the fork down? Dummy.”
This is actually an insanely good idea. Perhaps if my scale berated me every time I stepped on it I’d have an easier time losing weight.
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Color coordinating with the cake is a great idea. And, I had no idea the kids names were aliases. Smart one, you. But, seriously, you made a gorgeous cake. What’re you complaining about?
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Your cake looks beautiful and you’re just darlin’
Crumbs or not, it looks superb.
rachel’s last blog post..The day the vagina nearly wrecked the car
You are an excellent cake decorator. The one time I tried without proper tools to write “Happy Valentine’s Day Daddy” on a heart-shaped monstrosity I put together, it came out too fat and smudged.
Also, I have that same shirt. I love it.
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That cake is GORGEOUS! Don’t be so hard on yourself!!!!
Love that you match the cake, too!
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Oh gosh that sounds like an excellent party! And the cake? Beautiful! I don’t see crumbs…
If there were crumbs, I would tell you what my Mehmere (grandmother) showed me years ago:
1. thinly ice cake after its cool.
2. put in fridge to harden frosting
3. clean kitchen counter
4. frost over hard cold layer with more frosting, the crumbs should stick to that layer and not show through
we also played with fondant a little bit, but lost patience with it and never loved the flavor
if you don’t have the time to do the above, there’s a “drizzle” method where she would make the cake in a bundt pan or loaf pan and then make a confection sugar glaze in whatever color and literally just drizzle it over the cake. it actually works better if the cake isn’t completely cooled! (light colored cakes though and you have to use enough sugar to make it a solid color)
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Cute cake. It looks terrific even if the frosting had crumbs in it.
And that is you in the picture? You look fabulous! Eat away!
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Food is too darn good to say no too. I have not an ounce of willpower when it comes to eating. I wish I did.
You look fabulous, the cake looks fabulous.
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Did anyone else notice that you have two sinks in your kitchen? You lucky bit**.
Oh yes, beautiful cake too!
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You could be a cake model! So cute!
And I totally understand about over-eating. I apparently think that I might not be able to find food for weeks after I have a party, and I consume as such. But funny, there are always leftovers the next day. Repeat process. Ugh.
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That is FABULOUS!!! The cake, not your food hangover or your butter introductions.
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You AND that cake are freaking ADORABLE. And you’re so right, crumbs SUCKETH.
BTW, it took me over 4 minutes to load your blog today (yes I have high speed and yes you are totally still worth it).
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That cake looks awesome! Seriously.
Good job. We can’t see the crumbs, but those drive me crazy too. Ugh.
Nice job!
And I always eat too much at parties too. It’s just what you’ve got to do - ‘cuz everything is sooo yummy.
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Who cares if it’s crummy? Dee-lish is allllll that matters!
And I totally have the hand with the broken automatic fork-pusher button. I understand.
Molly’s Mom’s last blog post..Just a thought…
I’m shocked by how Martha-ish you are. Crumb layers and homemade buttercream and all that. Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’m going to attempt my first homemade buttercream icing this week. We’ll see how it goes. Any tips?
Karly’s last blog post..It Looks Even Better In Real Life
You are beautiful and so is the cake! And don’t be so hard on yourself…it’s fun to get carried away sometimes!
Quit your moaning and groaning about how awful the cake turned out - it looks awesome and you know it, you’re just looking for us to all gush over it.
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Dude. We are the same person. Just the other day I was thinking about how silly I’ve been blaming my recent weight gain on the baby (although like you I haven’t stepped on a scale in ages - I fear it!), when he’s almost a year old. I can no longer blame the weight on him. I guess I’m going to have to suck it up and actually start eating right and exercising again. Gah!
Oh, and about the cake. It looks fantastic. I plan on buying one for Arlo’s birthday - who’s the slackass now?
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I think the cake is gorgeous, and looks so yummy! I always get crumbs in my frosting no matter what, too.
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..It’s that time again!
oh my gosh!!!! has it been a year already??? Happy Birthday Ella!
i personally think your cake looks fantastic! Zander just turned 3 on May 3rd, and he helped me decorated it….and it didn’t look anywhere near that good!
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Cake, gorgeous. You? Gorgeous AND skinny.
Your cake is lovely! And you are thinner than you think!
A tip for not overeating - drink a TON of water before people arrive. It really works.
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wait, her name isn’t ella? which means carson isn’t carson?? you’re killing me here!! LOL
by the way - fabulous cake and kitchen!!
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Such a wonderful typical midwestern menu. I love it. Like seriously, I love that menu.
KEEP BELIEVING
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seriously, with a first birthday party like that and a cake that gorgeous, i would like to volunteer myself for you to adopt.
and then i promise you, there will be no excess of potato salad or icing for you to indulge on eVER again, because my ass will be stealing ALL the butter.
win win.
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Are you kidding me? That cake is gorgeous! Mira’s birthday cake this weekend will be provided thanks to the bakery at the local Giant Eagle (grocery store). Because making a cake would require me to have some talent in baking, icing, and decorating, which I have none of the above.
One weekend of binging can’t cause that much damage. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, since I’m sure I’ll be joining you in an icing sugar high this weekend.
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The cake looks great and what’s a birthday if you cant overeat?? You can get back on track now.
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The cake looks beautiful, better than I could ever do. My kids will forever be the kids that get store bought cake… Martha Stewart I am not, baking and me, we are like vingear and oil!
And like you I eat until I feel like I am going to pop, just imagine if we learned to stop how many more beers we could have?!?!!
LOL
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You look so pretty! And I think the cake turned out wonderfully. You can see my son’s first and second cakes that I made myself (and if you look close I’m sure there are crumbs; the icing was melting on the first one). I am always VERY critical of myself. But you, my dear, rocked that cake!
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