S*exing It Up With Carmen Electra

May 23, 2008 | Filed in: haiku friday, my hawt body, photoshop fun

Trying something new
Carmen Electra’s striptease
instead of yoga

Seductive moves and
bedroom eyes to tone my arse
I felt like a tool

It is now clear that
stripping is not my calling
I am no Carmen

Yesterday I decided that instead of spending the children’s nap time on the computer, I would work out. Flipping through the exercise video choices on On Demand, I stumbled across Carmen Electra’s “Fit to Strip” workout. To be honest, I had actually seen it before, and wanted to try it out, but felt too silly. Since no one would be watching I decided to coax out my inner stripper.

It didn’t go so well.

First of all, I didn’t have the proper attire, perky boobs, or pigtails.

Even though no one could see me, I felt like a complete jackass doing these moves. I embarrassed myself.

“Now it’s time for body rolls!” Carmen exclaimed. Yeah, that’s what I need. MORE body rolls! Whee!

“Let’s sex it up!” she encouraged. Let’s not. HOW EMBARRASSING.

Also. Beans for lunch before a “strenuous” workout. Bad idea. And NOT sexy.

(I’m totally kidding about the last part. That NEVER happened. *ahem*)

Note to self: Workouts would be more efficient if the majority of the time wasn’t spent pausing the TV, taking pictures and giggling at my own jokes.

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I would never, ever fart while attempting to exercise. Especially not in a Pilates class. Of just 3 students. Where the blame would be all to embarrassingly clear. Nope, not ever.
Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Hai (Thank) Ku (You) Friday 5/23/08

I’ve done this “workout” I spent most of the workout going from
a. saying “You’ve got to be flipping kidding me” over and over again.
b. laughing
c. saying “This is not even a good workout unless you’re looking to work to lower self esteem”
d. fast forwarding to something that I’d actually be willing to do.

You clearly gave this more of a chance then I did.

I’ve seen it, but never tried it. And now I think I won’t.

Hey, if you ever want to try out another career via exercise again, I can loan you my Bollywood Workout DVD. I can guarantee you that I will never be a Bollywood dancer.

Christina’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Administrative Haiku

Oh goodness…forget the pictures…I want video of THAT.

I wonder if Carmen farts.

~JJ!’s last blog post..Ode to Rabble Rousers in Haiku

HA! This makes me laugh. I always wondered if the video was any good, but now I’ll never be able to try it because the whole time I’m going to be thinking about the stuff you wrote!

wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday -

I tried it - didn’t mind too much because I liked the dance routine at the end, but never felt like it was a real workout. I would have to do the dance routine a few times to feel like my heart rate was up.
And yeah, I only did it when nobody was home. =)
My friend took a pole dancing class and SWEARS that it was so much fun. Not sure I could every do that - other people would be there.

Cathy’s last blog post..He Likes It!

This is why you need a Wii Fit. The chick on that has the most BIZARRE boobs EVA! Will make you feel sexy.

Yeah, it is a computer generated chick, but still. Her boobs are FREAKY!

Kelley’s last blog post..outed

Thanks for saving me the time…I know I would spend the whole time feeling stupid!

Mom24’s last blog post..Haiku Friday…summertime beginnings

A workout? What is that again? Girl, you need a Wii fit! Tate won’t even fight you on a Wii!
MamaGeek’s last blog post..Sips, Dips and Chips

Funny stuff. I’m fairly certain I would have laughed the whole time instead of “working out”…but laughing burns calories, right?
the dragonfly’s last blog post..Girls Night Out

I read in National Geographic about some place in Africa where the more rolls a girl has on her back, the hotter they think she is. So, that’s my fitness plan. I’m moving to deepest Africa, where Carmen Electra is a dog and I could be their queen.

the Mom’s last blog post..Ku ku katchoo

You crack me up! ha ha!
Pausing, giggling and taking pictures of the screen….isn’t that how the workouts are supposed to go? I guess I’ve been doing them wrong this whole time!

Mandy’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - One little monkey swinging on a swing

I don’t care what Carmen says.

There’s nothing sexier than hoofing up a stinky sweat walking through your neighborhood.

Carmen is a strange cookie anyway. I heard on the radio she keeps a ’sex packet” with her at all times with high heels and other sexy-inducing products. I think she’s just a *tad* too focused on sex appeal for men. Her body may be healthy, but mentally, I ain’t convinced.

Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Blogpression

you my friend are a riot.

It totally counts as burning calories if you just watch these videos right?

Kara’s last blog post..My son can find dirt anywhere

Too funny.
I recently ordered this http://www.benderball.com/about.html
to help me get my tummy back in shape. Wish me luck keeping the ball away from my twin 2 year olds, and actually getting a work-out done.

Kristin’s last blog post..Mother’s Day re-cap

Too funny.
I recently ordered this http://www.benderball.com/about.html to help me flatten my tummy. Wish me luck keeping the ball away from my 2 yr old twins and for actually completing a work-out. gahh.
Who needs a flat tummy anyway!?!

Too funny.
I recently ordered this http://www.benderball.com to help me flatten my tummy. Wish me luck keeping the ball away from my 2 yr old twins and for actually completing a work-out. gahh.
Who needs a flat tummy anyway!?!

Kristin’s last blog post..Mother’s Day re-cap

Lesson learned: If you do decide to try these things out in the bedroom, make sure it is not after a meal packed with fiber.

Thanks!

KEEP BELIEVING

Angie’s last blog post..The post where Angie takes a stand and loses half her readers (and gets a big Heck Yeah! from the other half)

Ha ha ha ha! I am SO GLAD that I am not the only one who instantly wondered “what is WITH those knee socks?!” when I saw the video….

Not that I would ever attempt a stripping working…

Maggie’s last blog post..A Tale of Woe

I am so glad I wasn’t drinking anything while I read this
I haven’t tried those striptease series because I am just not cool enough
rachel’s last blog post..Under Her Umbrella

she did NOT really say “Lets Sex It Up” .. does Tate know what youre up to while the kids are sleeping?

Madness’s last blog post..~*~FAMOUS~*~

Yeah I do enough asshat moves during the day. I don’t need *this*.

Rosie’s last blog post..School House Rock - ku!

I VERY badly wish you had videotaped yourself through the whole process. The descriptions are funny, but visuals would be AWESOME!

Burgh Baby’s last blog post..Takin’ a Walk

AHHAHAH. Loved that. Not sure about the video. I think I’d pull my crotch.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC’s last blog post..HF: Sharing the Laughter & Love

LMAO! That reminds me of the scene in Boys and Girls with Jason Biggs where he is dreaming of the models and they all start to fart.
Hey farting is not a bad thing. I prefer to say I fluff. My hubby he farts.

Marti’s last blog post..Bean says…

Yeah, I actually bought one of her videos to work out to when I was in college. I did it, maybe twice. Once she starts crawling around on the floor, I couldn’t handle it! haha. I’d start laughing too hard or feeling too stupid! So I resold it on Amazon so I wouldn’t feel so bad about the wasted money.

Cassie’s last blog post..Spicy foods?

So funny!!

And…TAG!
I know, it’s lame. Don’t make me feel worse
SORRY!

Scary Mommy’s last blog post..Tag, I’m it.

ok you are so right. I would have never done that video….could not take it for real. Did you tell your husband you did it? He is gonna expect results, and I don’t mean a tone arse either…

ellinghouse’s last blog post..rocks in her diaper

HA HA HA. I’m rolling on the floor. I would so be doing the same thing, pause, pic, laugh, attempt sexy move, laugh again LOL. You are hilarious.

Tonya’s last blog post..VOTE VOTE VOTE

The closest I came to this workout was the belly dancing video I got. I still felt like a tool, trying to seriously belly dance in my living room in jammies with unbrushed hair.

I am glad I am not alone. My hubby is going to have to deal with my sexy mind, cause the bod aint here no more.

Scylla’s last blog post..Haiku Friday

He saw me photoshopping these pictures last night. I tried to play it off, but he was very intrigued that I attempted the video.

I should have been more secretive.

OMG, i’m dying laughing. OH and my SIL told me that if you ever take pilates take a Bean-0 first because you’re bound to FART!

Jen’s last blog post..You, You, You Outta Know

LMAO - that was hilarious! I have always been curious about that striptease workout, too. I already KNOW I’d look riduculous!

SherE1’s last blog post..Fivespot Meme and Desiree’s Dance Update

Are you saying I should cancel my “Strippercize” class?

I tried the Bollywood one and laughed and laughed until a coworker told me to just “shut your mind off and do it.” Once I did that, it was actually not too bad. I’m actually waiting for my copy of Yoga Booty Ballet to get here to try it out before I buy it.

WTF is up with those socks though? Was she late from a softball game? And she really does look like she just farted.

CourtneyRyan’s last blog post..haikustabmeintheeye - please!!!

That was hilarious! Thanks for brightening my day : )

Sarah in Disturbia’s last blog post..Haiku Friday

“Yoga booty ballet??”

Awesome. Please post about this when you get it and send me the link. Include pictures!

Errr, I actually own the DVD’s. They are sitting in the cabinet under the TV collecting dust and shame. I couldn’t “roll” anything without giggling either……

Sarcasta-Mom’s last blog post..Happy Birthday To Me

I’m so glad to have a review of this product. I SUSPECTED I would feel like a tool, but I did not KNOW. Now I know.

Swistle’s last blog post..Solution to the Plastic Baby Bottle Problem

man..that video will never enter this house. as if i need to give hubby an excuse to install a stripper pole!!!
Cate’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: the magic of corn

Finding a workout
program that is fun and works
causes us to try

unusual things
only to discover they
simple aren’t for us!

Hope you find something
enjoyable and perfect
keeping you ‘in shape’

I’ve multi-tasked today, combining Haiku Friday with OSI on one and with Penseive’s 40PC on the other.
Hugs and blessings,

storyteller’s last blog post..HF #42 & One Single Impression - Week 12

yeah, but did you wear the knee-socks??

Actually, after “working out” I took a pic of myself with my socks pulled up and my hair in pigtails. I was too embarrassed to post that picture!

My aunt told me when I got married to always be a sexual animal in the bedroom… she never mentioned anything about that while working out.

Jill’s last blog post..And They’re Off…

By the way… not saying that I am…. that’s just what she told me.

Jill’s last blog post..And They’re Off…

You crack me UP! The commentary is great!

Mommy Daisy’s last blog post..Peace AND Quiet

I own this one and love it! I laugh at myself the whole time and NO ONE is allowed in the room (or house) while Mama is working out.
But it’s pretty easy and I can feel it working.

Sarah @ Ordinary Days’s last blog post..Do They Come in Super-Ultra-Extreme Absorbancy?

I’m sp glad you posted this - I’ve kinda been wondering about the stripaerobics, but thinking I would probably look:
a) ridiculous

b)scary

That saved me some money - see you are performing a great service to the blog community…

Melody’s last blog post..IT’s Friday - and I’m BACK!

I do what I can to help out the blogging community with inspiring posts like this one!

Sarah, I was trying to remember the person who said I should try it and now I remember it was YOU!

I will probably NOT try it again. I felt so DUMB doing it!

I tried the Comcast On Demand strip workout. The only thing that has ever made me feel sillier is trying to read “Fox in Socks.” Seriously, can anyone read this book right?

anne’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Week in Review

you do know that my mother (who is 78) takes pole dancing, dont you?

there’s just something very very wrong with all of this.

the planet of janet’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: the I totally score edition

I want to meet your mother.

I also would LOVE to take a pole-dancing class if everyone else in the class promised not to watch me.

Just think of the calories you burned laughing at yourself. HA!

justmylife’s last blog post..It’s that time of year again.

Tried Haiku Friday for the first time! Thanks for the idea.

flickrlovr’s last blog post..I’m Joining Haiku Fridays!

That is hysterical!

Laura’s last blog post..Summer Swim Days are Here!

You are too damn funny! I love that you tried it! If you asked for friends to join in, I would have TOTALLY jumped in with you - provided no one was taking picturs of us in action

Agreed. Your commentary is HILARIOUS. Also, have you heard about those pole dancing home parties? Check this out. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/24/nyregion/24pole.html

Too freakin hilarious! I did a belly-dancing workout a couple times after the first kid - couldn’t stop laughing at myself. It’s down in the basement somewhere now collecting dust….

Teri’s last blog post..Is there a “Thing” in the house?

ROFL!!! I would have totally embarrassed myself too…and made sure every. single. window. in the house was covered with drapes!

Now I’m tempted to go find this On Demand just to see the clip
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Not Entirely Here

Ya, I never really got the appeal of this strippercize thing. I would have been laughing my ass off at myself like you were. Wait a minute! That’s it! Screw real exercise, maybe we can literally laugh our asses off.

andi’s last blog post..Dumbassery makes for excellent blog fodder

i have not laughed that hard in a long time. thank you for that.

it was the “beans before workout” remark that got me, if that tells you anything about my sense of humor…

cake’s last blog post..is it summertime yet?

What’s the message she’s trying to send with this video? If doing this workout will give me an uncontrollable urge to wear knee socks circa 1980 then I’ll take my fat butt anyday! At least I keep my dignity!

you KILL me. hahahaha.

oops, i farted again!

jenica’s last blog post..trip of bridges: lincoln city, oregon (days 8 & 9)

Oh my gosh I laugh outloud too much when I read this blog! Love love it. Seriously.

Jess’s last blog post..Planes rides and Jack Daniels–Part I

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I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 1. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #2 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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