Excuse Me While I “Scratch” My Balls and Pee All Over the Toilet Seat

Written on May 30, 2008 by in haiku friday, Men?, playing along

Haiku Friday

Thanks to Neil from Citizen of the Month for this week’s Haiku Friday theme…Write like the opposite sex.  Mine is full of cliches and stereotypes!  Enjoy! 

E.S.P.N. time
Sit back, relax, *SEX*, drink beer
Is my wife talking?

Damn!  “Pick up my socks!”
All she does *SEX* is nag me
I’ll just ignore her

*SEX* I’m sure hungry
Maybe if I whine enough
Wife will bring me snacks

I work HARD all day
Can’t the kids play somewhere else?
I sure am horny

Look at Wife folding
*SEX* laundry.  I should grope her!
What?!  What did I do?!

Oh great.  Now she’s pissed.
Can’t I get some affection?
She used to be fun.

*SEX* Women’s soccer!
They should take their clothes off *SEX*
Why’s Wife mad again?????

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

60 Comments - Leave a comment!
60 Responses to Excuse Me While I “Scratch” My Balls and Pee All Over the Toilet Seat
  1. Citizen of the Month » Today I Am a Woman
    May 30, 2008 | 5:40 pm

    [...] check out the amazing haikus written for Haiku Friday by women… writing the haikus as men would write them. Tags: gender, women, writing [...]

    Reply
  2. Neil
    May 30, 2008 | 5:43 pm

    OK, tell us the truth. Your husband wrote that. No woman could understand a man so completely!

    Neil’s last blog post..Today I Am a Woman

    Reply
  3. Katie
    May 30, 2008 | 6:18 pm

    Absolutely perfect.

    You crack me up!

    Reply
  4. andi
    May 30, 2008 | 6:54 pm

    Screw Haiku Friday – every Friday here should be “Write Like a Man Friday” instead. This was hysterical!

    andi’s last blog post..The illusion of choice

    Reply
  5. Fairly Odd Mother
    May 30, 2008 | 7:07 pm

    You are awesome.

    Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..I Know Why the Tanked Fish Drowns

    Reply
  6. Jenni
    May 30, 2008 | 7:33 pm

    I don’t know if it’s funny or sad!!

    But, either way, it’s true!

    Jenni’s last blog post..Double Standard

    Reply
  7. mandy
    May 30, 2008 | 8:12 pm

    I swear you are writing about my husband.

    I used to be fun too. Then kids.

    mandy’s last blog post..Finally…

    Reply
  8. Betsy Bird
    May 30, 2008 | 8:18 pm

    Couldn’t get going with the theme, but yours were great!

    Betsy Bird’s last blog post..May 2008 — The Month of Living Crappily

    Reply
  9. Scylla
    May 30, 2008 | 9:47 pm

    Frickin hysterical!!

    Reply
  10. Mommy Daisy
    June 11, 2008 | 2:03 pm

    Ha, ha, and HA!

    Mommy Daisys last blog post..Home again

    Reply
1 2