You? Have opinions. I? Want them.

June 9, 2008 | Filed in: Ask Teh Internets, Little Monkeys, Quirky Me, begfest '08, brutally honest monday, confession, playing along

This is my first time participating in Mrs. Flinger’s Brutally Honest Monday.

I’d like your (brutally honest) opinion about a recent incident.

The kids and I went to watch Tate play softball last week. Being a magnet to puddles, Carson immediately found the biggest, muddiest puddle and jumped right in. Within seconds of getting to the ball field, Carson was soaking wet and dirty.

There were lots of other kids around Carson, laughing at him getting all wet. The next thing I know, I look over and a girl who looked to be at least eight or nine, was throwing handfuls of mud on Carson (and cackling manically…or so I imagined. I mean, maybe she was.)

I was FURIOUS.

I marched over there and yelled at her to stop. I told her how ashamed she should be for picking on such a little boy and that she should know better. There was lots of huffing and puffing (on my part.) Also, my face was most likely all sorts of red.

I was SO PISSED.

I made the girl apologize to Carson. She did, half-heartedly. Then I grabbed Carson’s hand and we marched off, with me saying the MOST mature, parental thing ever…”Let’s go play over HERE away from those MEAN kids.”

When I made it back to the bleachers, a few of the people who had witnessed THE INCIDENT, looked a little horrified. I’m not sure if they were horrified by how I reacted or by the girl’s behavior. Of course I assumed it was all about me. Also, I’ve told a few people what happened and each person acted like I overreacted slightly.

Here’s what I’d like you to consider when forming your opinion…

1. She was DEFINITELY old enough to know better than throw mud on a little kid.
2. She was throwing the mud at his head.
3. (Don’t forget the maniacal cackling.)

But also consider this…

1. He was already filthy, dirty from jumping in the puddle.
2. I probably could have left out the huffing, puffing, and stomping away with the immature retort.

I am a little nervous since this is “BRUTALLY HONEST Monday.” Don’t think the BRUTAL part means to be, you know, too BRUTAL. I’m tender hearted. **bats eyelashes**

*****

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Yeah, it’s NEVER okay to throw mud at another kid, period. While you may have gone a bit over with the yelling, something did have to be done about it. Where was this girls parents?? You have to protect your kids, especially in situations where the other child’s parent is obviously not doing anything.

Beckies last blog post..Get Ready for Summer Days!

To be brutally (but not too brutally!) honest, I would have done the same thing. I know it may not have been the best, or most mature thing…..but I wouldn’t have let the little girl get away with it, either. However, the girl probably thought since he was already muddy, that it would be okay to make him more muddy. I don’t know. I once told my son to hit a girl back who kept punching him. Okay, I called the girl a not-so-nice name, but to my son. She was within hearing distance, though. He was about eight at the time, and this girl was easily 11 or so…she was bigger than me, at any rate, and my son was quite smaller than her. I blogged about it, and caught all kinds of flack for it. I concede that I probably didn’t handle things the best way. Yet..I can’t honestly say I’d do anything differently if I had it to do all over again.

Devilish Southern Belles last blog post..Still loving my computer.

Ok, I’ll bite. This may well be my first comment here…

I absolutely would have done the same thing. Probably with the huffing, puffing and “mean kids” comment included. It’s not ok to pick on little kids. I hate bullies.

Walking With Scissorss last blog post..Beautiful AND Talented

It is made as clear as day from preschool onwards that throwing things, outside of sports or games, at someone else is NOT. ALLOWED. PERIOD.
I can speak only from a babysitter’s perspective, but if I take a little one to the park for some outdoors fun, I would be furious if a bully ruined it by, say, throwing mud straight for his/her noggin!
The huffing and puffing on your part may have been slightly out of line, but I definitely understand how the inner “mama bear” would get all riled up, especially if she was so much older and bigger than him.

Baby Bs last blog post..Six Things, Food Edition

I do not have kids yet, but I totally would have done the same thing. No one should treat a kid like that, and if someone else was not intervening, you had to do something. Who knows, maybe this girl will think twice from now on and you may have stopped a bully in the making. Good for you!

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Brutal Honesty? For better or worse, I think I’d have ended up reacting the very same way.

I have, on a couple of occasions, had to thwart bullies and so far have done it without huffing and puffing and name calling in public, but only because said bullying was occurring in preschool while I was away from my little girl. Needless to say, I huffed and puffed to the right people and it stopped.

But, I would have SO gone there if I were you! I say do what you have to do to protect your kids.

When it comes to my girls’ well-being, I’d rather overreact than underreact…

Mature be damned. Your kid! She threw mud. Period. I’d have thrown mud back at her and asked her how SHE liked it when someone older and bigger picked on her. I’d like to see how mature HER mom is about THAT. HAH! Being all politically correct is a pain in the but-tocks (pronounced like Forrest Gump), I think it’s better to just be yourself and stop worrying about the reaction.

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(OOOH I WANT BRUTALLY HONEST MONDAYS TOO!

oh now wait

I so dont :))

Id have done the same thing….which prolly means dont listen to me
MizFits last blog post..Monday Facetime

Mmm, right response, wrong target. After the half hearted response from the kid, the next response is to find the kid’s mother and ask the mother confronting questions. “Do you think it’s ok that your daughter was throwing mud at my kid’s head?”

Next why were you not monitoring your son closer so that he wasn’t in a mud puddle.

Don’t agree with the mean kids thing. That’s sheltering. I’m a little lost on Carson’s age, but an age appropriate talk would have been in the mix as well.

~Jef

Edges last blog post..Reality Blogging

Grrr, Jef, don’t question a mom. Seriously, dude, are you crazy?

Also, I hesitate to yell at other kids because their parents may be bigger and meaner than I am. That being said, I would have totally wigged out, too. No other child has the right to throw things at your kid’s head- ever. She sounds like a brat. I would have probably taken the route of quietly screaming at her and threatening to kick her in the head (so that no one could hear me) but I do think your reaction was justified. Honestly….

Tonis last blog post..It’s Potty Time

For those wondering, I don’t know where the girl’s mom was, she was probably on the other side of the ball field in the opposing team’s bleachers. I was too lazy to push Ella’s stroller over the gravel and mud and carry Carson over there to hunt the mom down.

Holy crap.

I would never do that.

Not because I think you’re wrong. I would so WANT to do that because that would SO PISS ME OFF…But I just am not that gutsy, to yell at another person’s kid.

I would have probably yelled at my kid hoping that it would trickle over to the older kid. Then, feel guilty for yelling at my kid when I should have yelled at the other kid. Because you know, yelling at your own kid NEVER hits the other kids around her. THEY ignore you when you are yelling at your own kid.

I wish I COULD do what you did.

Go girl.

Plus as Toni said, I’m afraid of other parents. You know they are crazy right?

~JJ!s last blog post..Guilty

I think my reaction would have depended on how Carson was reacting to mud being thrown at him. Was he laughing? Was he wincing? Trying to cover his face? Saying stop? If he was laughing I probably would have gone over and told that little girl to STOP - that is not a good idea. If he was wincing, covering his face, saying stop, OH, she would have heard a mouthful in my “May Teacher Voice” which is much different than my teacher voice any other time of year.

Kind of related - the other day I came home from work only to be greeted by one of my neighbor’s kids who’s ALWAYS at our house (uninvited) and he squirts me right away with his super soaker. Oh so not okay. And since I was in teacher mode and this kid is 8 I let him have it. Then, I took his super soaker and told him if he wants it back his mom will have to come and get it. I then explained to her that this is an ungoing problem, him and his brother coming over with their super soakers and spraying our house, windows, and Quinn (who can’t figure out how to use one of those). And then me! It’s so hard to parent your own kids PLUS other kids… Sorry for the long comment. =)

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In my best Swiper voice, “Awwwww, Man!” This is a tough one to answer.

The girl is definitely old enough to know better, but personally, I would never yell at another person’s child unless they were in danger. I try and put it in perspective that if someone yelled at my kid, I’d want to rip their face off, even if my kid WAS doing something wrong. It’s the same instinct you had - to protect your child, him from a bully, her from an adult yelling at her.

As for the huffy thing, I am just not a huffy person, and I’m non-confrontational to the max, so I probably just would have grabbed him and walked away.

AndreAnnas last blog post..Everything’s ok

I’m with JJ. I would want to yell at the girl, but I’m not sure I have the moxy to do it. But, having said that, I’m not sure yelling at the kid is the way to go.

wrights last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Floating On Air

Cathy…Carson reaction was sort of mixed, he was wincing and looked uncomfortable, but was laughing.

I KNOW that working in schools for years makes me “braver” to yell at kids when I think they deserve it.

AndreAnna…If it were my older kid throwing mud on a little kid, I wouldn’t be at all mad if another adult yelled at them.

Now, if this kid would have been probably 5 or younger, I wouldn’t have yelled at them. Instead I would have said in a sing songy voice, “Now, now let’s not throw mud.”

I don’t think I would have yelled at the kid, but that’s just me and I can say that easily because I wasn’t there.

I know I would have been irritated. Maybe the little girl thought it was fun and okay to do? I don’t know.
I would have let my kids play in the mud too, why not? They’re kids, it’s what kids do.
I would probably have talked to the little girl about what she was doing, why it wasn’t nice and better ways to play with people 1/2 her size but then again, I might have flipped out… I don’t know how I would have reacted.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Great first Brutally Honest Monday.
XOXO

rachels last blog post..We all have to fake it sometimes

Jennifer .. you did exactly what I would have done, only you were way more mature, even with the huffy puffy mean kids comment. That girl needed to be scolded.. and good thing you did, cause if the next kid she through mud at were mine you’d be begging people to click the “Bail Madness out of Jail and Convince the Judge to put.her.in.the.mental.hospital. Where She Belongs” button.
And to the commenter who said something about “why werent you minitoring Carson” .. um.. yeah.. all I have to say about that is .. “WhatEVER!!” .. obviously HE doesnt have children and if he does, then Im quite sure he’s got them on their tight little leashes and he should be oh.so.proud. that he is super dad of the year. Lets all say “Yay for Super Dad of the Year” and carry on.
Jen, you rock…dont let brutally honest monday get you all fussed up.
K love you,
Madness

Madnesss last blog post..Happy Birthday Baby

Let’s be honest I’d want to pick up a fist full of mud and throw it back at the kid and scream “pick on someone your own size” - so really I think you’re just fine with your reaction.

Now if you live anywhere like I live where the people are oh, so judgemental the looks might have been about your child being filthy from the puddle….that kind of things is “frowned upon” where I live and I just hope we move before baby girl wants to play in the mud because I believe very firmly in getting dirty while wearing dresses.

Casss last blog post..Mom Withdrawl

I did the exact same think a few months ago when my 2 year old was being bullied at the park by a couple kids. I may have even told one of them to go wipe the booger off from his face.

I just wish that I had thought to make them apologize!

**note to self** make the bully say he is sorry next time!

Someone needs to teach these unruly kids a lesson!!

Go Jennifer!!

Connies last blog post..I’m Calling The Supernanny!

Watch out. I’m going to cause quite a splash in the pool here…

As the mom of a 7 y-o girl and a 16 m-o boy, I do NOT think you were WRONG to correct the girl. Yelling? Probably not the best method. eh, whatever.

But I can understand a little easier how an older child (even a very tender-hearted one like my Stinkerbell) might find a lot of humor and fun in throwing mud on another kid - even a little kid.

I never thought I would have to tell her not to lick her brother in the middle of Target. Yet, I did. I never thought I would have to tell her not to sit on her brother. Yet, I said it. (she wasn’t completely on top of him. Just hovering over him. Still, it was “sitting’ and I said it.)

Even kids with great parents (ahem, tucking hair behind my ear) do things that are stupid and not nice and bully-ish. And Stinkerbell is defintely not a bully.

So, no. You weren’t wrong to CORRECT the big kid.

But, no. She wasn’t a totally mean kid necessarily.

Should you have yelled at her? Don’t think so. Now you’re the mom that “yells at other people’s kids”.

But they can totally count on you to make sure that mudholes will be GUARDED!!!

What would I have done?

I would have chewed out my kid and asked the other kid to consider how it would feel to have mud thrown at their HEAD. She is definitely capable of empathy, but might have missed that teachable moment in her house.

’sok. You’re still invited to my playgroup. And you can yell at my kids anyday. But don’t be surprised if they chuck a wad of mud at the back of your head as you priss off.

Auburn Gal Alwayss last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Dauphin Island

I think we all get upset when we see kids pick on our children. It’s our motherly instinct. I think I probably wouldn’t have gone huffy, but rest assured, I certainly would’ve said something. Throwing mud is not okay, even if a kid is already dirty.

Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..The Diary of a Fly Swatter

I think for clarification purposes, let’s review “yelling.”

I’m not sure that our definitions are the same…I never raised my voice, but did use a VERY stern tone, had a furrowed brow, and pursed lips. In between sentences there were heavy sighs. Also, disapproving glares.

Maybe saying I yelled at the girl isn’t truly accurate.

Not that this should make a difference…just to clarify.

And AGA, I’m glad I can still be invited to your playgroup. I don’t mind at all being known as the mom who yells at the kids.

honestly, I’m a big wussy and would have just pulled my daughter away from the big girl and gave her a dirty look.

Then, I would have written a blog post about how I wish I would have brutally verbally assaulted her….and kicked myself for not standing up for my kid.

you probably did the right thing…

Brutally honest, huh? Is it possible that Carson might have started it? Could the girl have been reacting to something he did?

That being said…NEVER EVER ok to throw ANYTHING at another child. I don’t care if they are related…NEVER EVER OK! I probably might have reacted in a similar fashion. I definitely would have said something to the little girl like, “Would you like it if someone threw mud at you?” Or something like that. And I absolutely would have removed my kid. AND I would have made the same comment walking away.

Alisons last blog post..The Crazy Red Haired Lady in the Supermarket

Eh, I say you were ok. I mean…mud can HURT especially if there was a hidden rock or goodness forbid a piece of glass in there that the little girl didn’t know about. Has nothing to do with being dirty…but she should have been old enough to know better not to throw mud.

I think too many people are more than willing to not say anything for the sake of peace…but at the same time how are children going to learn what is acceptable behavior if no one ever corrects them?

Sandys last blog post..Will you PLEASE listen to what I am saying?

Here is what I would of done in a prefect world and if I had control of my temper at that time. Sometimes I accomplish this and sometimes well notsomuch.

I would of calmly asked the girl why she thought it was ok to throw mud at another person younger then her in the head? I would of asked her if her parents were around and then talked to them about it. (This is in a prefect world because I’m not a confrontational person) But more then likely my MaMa Bear claws would of come out and I would of done anything to protect my kid.

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Woulda done the exact same thing. EXACT! Also…where the hell are this girl’s parents. BIG HUGE BEEF of mine…parents who don’t adequately watch their kids. And since it’s Monday and I’m all ranty….

People who live in my neighborhood and right behind me??? It is NOT OKAY to let your 8 year old son ride off by himself on his 4-wheeler (should he even have one? Debate for another day). Why? ‘Cuz he’s EIGHT!!! And ‘cuz we live in a new sub which means a CONSTRUCTION ZONE!

Ohhh…sorry…what were we talking about ???

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I haven’t read all the other comments yet (hi! lazy!) but my opinion is this: I would have done the same thing, as long as it wasn’t a ‘game’ that the two kids were tossing mud at each other and you only happened to see her end of it and not Carson’s. It still isn’t ok for a bigger kid to do that to a younger one, but it does change the situation slightly if they were doing it to each other.

My assumption is that this was not the case, which puts you totally in the right. Carson isn’t to the age where he can really stand up for himself, and the girl was most certainly old enough to know better than to do that. The fact that Carson was already dirty doesn’t matter - you weren’t upset that she was getting him dirty so much as the fact that she was throwing something at him.

Kids will be kids, and everyone does things like that sometimes. But that still doesn’t make it ok. The little girl was wrong and needed to be corrected, by the person who saw it first - which in this case was you.

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Alison…No, I had only turned around for a second and when I turned back around she was throwing the mud. Before that I was watching him the whole time since I was a little worried about him possibly drowning in the puddle of water.

If he’d done something first, I would have yelled at Carson, too.

An eight year-old throwing sand and, worse yet, laughing maniacally at a toddler . . . I think your stern reproach was completely justified. I would have done the same and maybe only regretted the “mean kids” comment and even that, not so much.

On a side note, my dad played competitive softball for years when I was little and my mom still loves to tell stories about how dirty my sister and I would get at each game, no matter how cute we looked when we showed up.

meps last blog post..My backyard is a mullet . . .

I’m with you - I would have yelled at the girl too and I probably would have done it with raising my voice. You don’t pick on younger kids (except younger siblings, those are fair game, hee hee) and if the girl’s parent can’t be bothered to watch her, then someone has to protect littler kids. Like you, having worked in schools for a number of years, I have no problem talking to another parent’s kid. And know what? I don’t care if I did get known as the parent who yelled at other kids as long as I’m known as the parent who protects my own. If I had kids, that is, which I don’t so this point of view may not even count:)

Mary Beths last blog post..THE UNEXPECTED MRS. POLLIFAX by Dorothy Gilman

Okay, I’m throwing myself under a bus here. I would probably have just called over to the girl to stop that, it’s not okay to throw mud, don’t do it again, and left my kid to continue splashing.

I know, your son is younger than my kids, but even when mine were young, I just couldn’t get worked up about a grave injustice done to my kid. Life’s rough, accidents happen, and there are assholes in all walks of life. As long as it wasn’t extreme danger they were placed in, we dealt with it and moved on.

There have been several incidents where MY kid was the jerk and I had to apologize for them, so I tend to give other kids and other parents a little leeway.

And the last point before I get off my high horse and get trampled by it: my kids are GIANTS, and people expect a lot more of them because they look older than they are. That might not be the case with this girl, but I’m just throwing that out there.

all things bds last blog post..Monster Parents Unite

Oh see now, I would have done the exact same thing. Seriously. And if it were my older child throwing mud on a youngling I would want a parent to intervene in the EXACT SAME WAY. Because that kind of behavior IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. Period. I don’t care that he was dirty. I might have even hauled her over to her parents and had a little discussion with them as well.

Jesss last blog post..Plane rides and Jack Daniels– Part Deux

If that was me walking to the ballgame with the kids and I saw the mud puddle as we approached the field, I would have gotten a hold of my son’s hand and made sure he didn’t get near the puddle. I don’t care how much he loves puddles….
If my son was pulling me to go to the puddle–THAT’S when I would have started yelling.
I try to avoid problems as early as possible.
(NOT judging you on the way you handled it–just being honest about what I would have done)

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What I wanna know is where the hell was her mom?! What is the deal with MIA Moms?! I don’t get it.

I applaud you for doing what you did. If I was your son, I would be grateful to have a mom that stood up for me.

Girl, I think as long as you didn’t push her face in the mud, you were reacting with restraint. Or maybe I just have some issues. You were well within your right as a mom to address the issues with the older kid. Brutally honest? I would have probably been playing in the mud with my boy, but I only have one kid. I’m impressed that you could keep both your kids under your hawk eye at the same time in a public place. Good job!

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I would have went over there and told my kids to gather the mud and throw it back at the girl. So I am WAY more immature than you!

I honestly think that kid sometimes just act how they are going to act…I’m not sure…but she probably didn’t mean it maliciously…she probably saw that he was enjoying himself in the mud and that she was helping in the fuN? I don’t know I wasn’t there…but I think as a mother…however we react is how we react…we are human…

She was throwin stuff at him! I would have done the same thing you did!

It’s all fun and games until someone loses (or gets mud in) an eye!

Rph Mommys last blog post..Random weekend fun

Rock on Sister! That mom should have kept an eye on her kid. “Yell” away…

I’m yelling from here!

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First of all, come to my blog and visit the sidebar to win a raffle for a Nikon D40.

And then… I think they were just playing. Kids don’t have the best judgment, but I have done EXACTLY what you did so often that I think my own kids have suffered. As in, “don’t play with X because his mom is a crazy byotch.”

I’m just sayin’ — you can’t control anyone elses’ kids, just your own. You shouldn’t put him in the dirt if he can’t get dirty.

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First of all, come to my blog and visit the sidebar to win a raffle for a Nikon D40.

I’m just sayin’ — you can’t control anyone elses’ kids, just your own. You shouldn’t put him in the dirt if he can’t get dirty.

that girls last blog post..Video: The Democratic Race in Eight Minutes

Here’s the tricky thing: if I had been in the bleachers watching you I would have thought “Dear Lord, tone it down Lady.” But…if it had been me whose child was on the receiving end of the mud-slinging, I would have done all the same. Probably with even more stomping and definitely having said a few more immature things. I just have no tolerance for children who act like that and whose parents are not the ones putting a stop to it. Good for you for defending your child!

Cynthias last blog post..June 3 is Be a Hero for Babies day

ditto — would have done the same thing. Had it been my husband… he would have hunted that girl’s momma down and yelled at her to reign in her kid.

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I honestly would have done the same thing. We are protective of our kids, it’s nature. Not always the most mature thing to do, but it’s true. I am one that would definitely give that girl what-for. (oh, that made me feel old.)

From what you’ve said it’s not like you were a screaming banshee. I think you were well within your right and at a good acceptance level for what was going on
Sarahs last blog post..Star-Trekkin’ Across the Nearby Town…

First, I LURVE that you joined in. I’m all giddy and blusning. Look! blushing!

And, to be totally brutally honest? I’d have done The. Exact. Same. Thing. And even would’ve posted about it later because I’d second guess myself.

You and I are the same. I feel cool now.

Mrs. Flingers last blog post..Brutally Honest Monday: The one where we go both ways

Overreacted? Maybe a bit I’d have to have been there to see the whole thing…but I’d be inclined to say that you didn’t from what you said.

Then again, when it was my sister in a similar situation (I’m 14 years older than she is and I always looked older than that…Mostly people just assumed she was my child unless they knew better) I was the one asking the girl where her mommy was so I could talk to her. And by talk I mean rip her a new one. So what I was 19?

So maybe I over reacted too?

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allthingsbd…you didn’t throw yourself under the bus! I asked for an opinion, you delivered.

I DO agree about this, “I know, your son is younger than my kids, but even when mine were young, I just couldn’t get worked up about a grave injustice done to my kid. Life’s rough, accidents happen, and there are assholes in all walks of life.” However, I just really felt like in this situation that girl needed to be called out for her actions. I do think that my huffing and puffing and “mean kids” reply were childish and silly and completely unnecessary, though.

If it were to happen again (and it will), I’ll say something, VERY sternly, but without the drama. I want my kids to know the right way to stand up for themselves.

I just don’t think it’s okay to throw mud at someone, especially someone younger/smaller. And I have no problem reprimanding someone else’s child (if they aren’t doing the reprimanding themselves!). I probably would have done the same thing.
the dragonflys last blog post..to my beautiful boy:

I definitely would have said something to the girl. Firmly. But probably with a bit less drama, since I hate attracting any attention to myself. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be fuming inside!

But who am I to say? I haven’t really ever had this happen to me before. It’s hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Carson is little and I’m sure if someone was doing something mean to my littlest one, I would react. Not sure how I would react. But I definitely would.

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I probably would’ve walked over, and asked her nicely to stop. If she didn’t, then I would’ve slammed her into the mud and shoved her face in it.

Momo Falis last blog post..And, He’s Faster Than Big Brown

Mmmmm…ya, I think you may have over-reacted..just a little and with the best intentions and probably in a very classy kinda way that made those around you say, “wow, she has it all together” .

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So as I was reading your post I was thinking to myself … wow, she really did over-react just a tad. BUT in saying that and thinking about my own kids I know I would’ve done the same thing.

There was a little girl at a playground not too long ago who wouldn’t let my 20 month old on the steps to a cute little cottage. This other girl was at least 5 or 6 and was waving a really long stick in my little girls face and demanding that she not go up there. I thought I’d wait for just a moment to see how it would pan out and whether the little girl would in fact let my baby go up to the cottage but when she almost hit my baby in the face with the stick I stepped in and told her exactly how wrong she was and she decided to ‘answer me back’ by proclaiming that the door to the cottage was locked and she was trying to protect it. I told her that as the mother of the baby I will decide where my daughter can go, not her, so step aside or else.

I’ve learned - the hard way - that it’s never viewed as acceptable to discipline other people’s children. This doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. In the heat of the moment you did not react any differently than anyone else would. As a parent, it is your duty to protect your children from harm. Actual or perceived.

Was there a better way to handle the situation? Probably, but you had only seconds to react. It’s unlikely that anyone could have swooped in, saved their child, firmly, but politely disciplined the thrower, and then organized a game of red rover that left all the kids BFF.

I would have jumped her.

Kidding.
But I would have fussed at her. He is a little kid. She is not. She KNOWS better!

I don’t think you overreacted at all! I think kids these days (what am I, 90?) could use more people holding them accountable. When I was little we behaved ourselves because we knew that if any neighbors or adults saw us misbehave they woud not only tell our parents but they would put us in our place too. It takes a village… and maybe it will make that nasty little fart think about doing something so stinking next time.

Perhaps people were acting like you were overreacting because it wasn’t THEIR child getting mud thrown in his face. I’m just saying.

Kathryns last blog post..Misfit Love

I would have used my stern voice to ask where her parents were. Then I would have walked with her to her parents, had her tell them what happened, then left the parents to deal with it. Though not exactly the same situation, I’ve done similar at our Children’s Museum when the bigger kids were out of hand. Be calm and firm and it’ll be fine.

Rayne of Terrors last blog post..Month 40 and three-quarters:

I would have done the same things you did, perhaps even more things. You are fine.

RubiaLalas last blog post..I’m Giving In

I am astonished at the number of comments from people wondering why you let Carson play in the mud if you didn’t want him to get dirty. Okay, well, there are only a few. But this is really touchy for me because of past experiences!

I took your post to say that you didn’t mind that he was getting dirty, just that some older kid was throwing mud at him, and was likely being bullyish and could have hurt him. Did I read the post right?

Devilish Southern Belles last blog post..I swear, one of these days…

OK, looks like I am in the minority here, but you asked for brutally honest, so here goes.

You were wrong.

You let him play in a mud puddle, get all muddy and then some kid has the nerve to put more mud on him? It’s not like she was throwing rocks or glass at him or (it sounds like) had any evil intent. She probably though it was hilarious that he was allowed to get muddy and thought she would help the process along.

If you truly didn’t appreciate her putting even more mud on him than he already had, you should have told her calmly to stop putting mud on him and removed him from the mud puddle.

From a mom of grown kids, a grandmother to a toddler and a teacher at an elementary school.

Bring on the disagreements!

“You let him play in a mud puddle, get all muddy and then some kid has the nerve to put more mud on him? It’s not like she was throwing rocks or glass at him or (it sounds like) had any evil intent. She probably though it was hilarious that he was allowed to get muddy and thought she would help the process along.”

I completely disagree. Let me explain. First of all he wasn’t muddy, per se, just a wet. It’s not like he had mud hanging off of him. It’s not the fact that she was making him dirtier…so WHAT! It’s the fact that she old enough to know better than throw mud in the face of a little kid. I don’t really think she had an evil intent, but seriously, throwing handfuls of mud? At his head? You really think that’s okay??? It’s okay because she thought it was hilarious???

Nope. Not okay. If this girl would have been younger, I’d have kept my cool and nicely asked her to not do that. But she was DEFINITELY old enough to know better.

I do agree that I could have been calmer. But, I don’t regret “yelling”, or really scolding her AT ALL. She deserved it.

If the tables were turned, and it were a nine year old Carson throwing mud on a two year old, I’d hope someone would yell at/scold him.

From a mom of a two kids and a former SLP in the schools where I corrected children on a daily basis.

I was thinking just along the lines of Sandra. My first thought was what if she threw some mud in his eye! That could have been really bad, especially if there was a rock or something.
I think you did the right thing scolding her if no one else was around watching her..maybe not the ‘ get away from the mean girl’ statement, but I am sure you were upset. Who hasn’t said things they wish they took back later.
That being said, I have totally been the parent that scolds other kids in the playground if they are too rough around my Kid, especially when he was much smaller. He can hold his own pretty good now, but there was a kid riding his bike through the playground and almost hit MY Kid. Yes, I raised my voice and the mom was right next to me and did NOTHING!

beach mamas last blog post..Trying to Keep Cool

I do think you did the right thing. You may have over done it slightly, but yes… the right thing. I would have done the same.

Now think of this…

Not all 8 year olds actually KNOW better. My son does stupid stuff all the time. He even threw mud at his DAD the other day. Yes, my husband yelled at him and he got in trouble, but he told his dad he didn’t realize it was that bad. He thought my husband would laugh and that it was funny. My 6 year old daughter is way more mature than my son. My son is always learing the hard way about what is wrong and right. He may be ADHD. My daughter on the other hand just seems to know. So in this instance my son would have had no comprehension that throwing mud at your son could have actually hurt him. He probably wouldn’t have even realized he was throwing it at his head. If I pointed it out to him you would be able to see it the sudden comprehension in his eyes. If some adult would have yelled at him he would have also rolled his eyes. Just so you know.

NOW… I do realize there are evil not caring children out there. This very well could have been one.

Bridges last blog post..i’d like to dedicate this to bridge and al OR will someone ring the gong already??!?!

Bridge…that’s a good point. She may really NOT have known that what she was doing was wrong…all the more reason to take advantage of this teachable moment!!

Definately… I know if I was that girls mom I would have freaked out and yelled at my own child.

The most important thing is to get your son out of harms way.

Somedays I love being a mom… other days I just HATE it. /sigh

Bridges last blog post..i’d like to dedicate this to bridge and al OR will someone ring the gong already??!?!

I probably would have just pushed her down. I am just being honest. (or maybe thrown a big wallop of mud in her hair)

I can’t tolerate some kid being mean to ma babies. NO WAY.

mandys last blog post..I am in heaven…

I would have done much the same thing, I think. I had to once yell at a 5-ish year old boy who was trying to kick and push Cordy when she was a baby crawling in a play area. No parent in sight for him, of course. I’m wondering where this girl’s parents were?

Of course, a friend of mine was at a large dinner, and a child was running around being obnoxious and disturbing his table: taking things, throwing things, etc. No parent in sight. He finally grabbed the kid by the wrist, stood up, and loudly announced to the entire hall “Who does THIS belong to!?!?” The parents were embarrassed, but deserved it.

Christinas last blog post..She’s Got Good Taste In Music

It is absolutely NEVER OK to throw mud at someone. But, it’s also probably not OK to throw a tantrum. I say you call it even and move on!

Burgh Babys last blog post..If You’re Old and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

Brutally honest = ON.

I would have been pissed at the kid.

There’s a difference between playing in the mud and getting pelted by it and being made fun of.

When Mamas’ babies are getting “picked on” (regardless of how it started) it’s understandable to get all commando protective.

Maybe not “rational” to huff and puff and go red in the face… but, women are rarely rational. So, forgiven.

And your hair looks lovely today and your butt looks great in those jeans.

Brutally honest = OFF.

Danielles last blog post..Potty Mouth, Part II

And I meant to subscribe to comments but forgot so am posting again real quick… boosting stats, man, just boosting stats!

Danielles last blog post..Potty Mouth, Part II

I would be upset, but, to be honest, I would definitely draw the line at:

a. name calling (She was being mean at the time, she is not a mean person.)
b. making her apologize (Making a child say they are sorry when they may not actually BE sorry teaches them to lie or to say things that others want to hear instead of how they feel. That’s why you got a luke warm response. She was not sorry she threw mud; she was sorry she got caught and yelled at.)

And, lastly, I’m really glad my kid wasn’t the kid throwing mud at yours, but she could have been. She can be a real STINKER and escape artist, making me frequently that MIA parent you all abhor. Please, people, pity me. It’s not easy parenting some kids. If you’ve raised yourself a little daffodil, thank your lucky stars.

lauries last blog post..FFF - My problem spot (before)

I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing! I would have been absolutely beside myself! Either way, it’s a sucky situation, but don’t feel bad. We all have our moments, that’s why we’re human!
Erins last blog post..List Update & Other Random Things

All I can think about is the time Braden walked up behind a baby at Story Time at the library and slapped it in the back of the head. For no reason.

I was MORTIFIED.

But, you know, he was like 1 year old. And stuff. *prays he never does crap like this when he’s older*

Also? In your situation, I think the first thing out of my mouth would have been, “OH, HELL NO….” and I have no idea what would have happened after that, as I made a mad rush towards Mud Slinging Death Wish Child…

Sarcastic Moms last blog post..The BEWBS Just Keep Showing Up

I will bite. I would have done the same thing yelling and all. I am not one to let others get hurt byt someone who is older and should know better. I think you did the right thing.

kishas last blog post..It’s a green, green world

I have to say that I believe I would have acted exactly like you - BUT, there is always a ‘but’ - I would have realized after the event that I had over reacted. I generally jump in feet and all especially when my son is concerned but with time (now that he is 14) I see that they really don’t have to be moddy-coddled.
http://www.winingandironing.wordpress.com

[...] You? Have opinions. I? Want them. [...]

I was at the park with my kids a couple of weeks ago, when I saw a little boy (maybe 8 years old) dragging a pit bull looking puppy down a steep hill (it’s the big park by the hospital, Jennifer). As I watched, he turned around and kicked the puppy in the face!!

I started yelling before I even got near him. “HEY! I wouldn’t follow you, either, if you treated me that way! How dare you kick a puppy? That is NOT appropriate. I don’t EVER want to see you do that again, do you hear me?”

Then I watched him, and when I saw which adults were with him, I marched over to them and (in a much less confrontational tone) said, “Hey, I was just over there where you couldn’t see from here, and I saw your son kick the dog in the face. I said something to him, but I really wanted you to know. I worry that the dog could become mean if he’s treated like that, and the last thing you want in your house is a mean dog! If it had been my child, I would want to know.” They were very gracious about it, and they thanked me. They called him over to correct him as I walked away.

To compound the discomfort, the family of the dog kicker was a different race than I am (I’m white, they were black), and it entered my mind that culturally, it might be very offensive to them to have a white woman correct their child. It may have been very offensive to them that any stranger had corrected their child, regardless of race. But you know what, at the end of the day I still believe that I did the right thing. I did my best to approach the mother in a “hey, we’re all in this together” way.

I think you did the right thing.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Amys last blog post..…and the horse you rode in on, Karma!

If it were one of my boys, the little girl would be in orbit now. Having fun throwing mud at asteroids.

SeaBirds last blog post..Interview: Michaella Ruffino of Eclectable

I think you were completely just in what you did. I would have done the same thing. And if you ever catch my nieces throwing anything at a younger kid, I hope to god you’d tell them not too.

Here’s the thing that bothers me, whether or not people think you were over reacting or not, Carson isn’t even three years old yet. He doesn’t have the words to tell a bigger kid to stop, or completely know that it’s not okay what the kid was doing to him and until he does, it’s our job as the adults to make sure that he stays safe. Plain and simple, you were protecting your son. And I’m sorry, but I disagree that an eight year old kid doesn’t know the different between what’s right and wrong. Every school talks about hitting and hurting others not being okay. She should have known better.

To the people who said that it was your fault for letting him play in the mud, well that’s just laughable. Playing in the mud is part of being two years old. But having it thrown at you by another kid, just isn’t.

Phoenixs last blog post..Phoenix has left the building

Personally I would have gone over there and told the child to stop and what she was doing was not nice at all. Then made sure my child was ok and then moved somewhere else to play. The child was old enough to know better.

Jesss last blog post..I’ve got 1 million dollars waiting for you….

I avoid confrontation; even with nine year olds ? That being said I would have probably tried to do what you did. Her parents should have been tellig her what you had to tell her. If I saw my child throwing mud I would be horrified; and my kids are sill young enough that they may throw mud! The parents that gave you the crooked eye were just jealous they didn’t have your balls!

ourcrookedtrees last blog post..Sweet Sweet/The Memories You Gave to Me

I have a two year old AND an eight year old.

No, I would not let someone fling mud at my two year old. That said, mud never killed anyone. Still, I’d have stopped that child. Having three kids who go up to 10 years old, no, I wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow about it, but that just comes with time and ER visits, you know?

I do know that every stinking 8-10 year old I know (and I know a lot of them) gets lost in the moment really fast. My toddler can hang with the bigger kids (ie: mud throwing would have cracked her up!) and so my eight year old, in that situation, probably wouldn’t have realized that your little one couldn’t hang, you know? At that age, they really just do see kids as kids, and age is kind of irrelavant. If they can sit up, they can play, and the 8 year old set gets worked up FAST.

I don’t think you were necessarily wrong, but maybe next time, just remember that sometimes the older kid could just use a split second re-direction. When my 8 year old crosses the line, and I remind him that the little ones are delicate, he suddenly becomes their most fierce PROTECTOR. I bet you could have had some free body-guard service there!

Mr Ladys last blog post..The World’s Leading Authority in Shingles

When mama bear comes out to protect her cubs, anything legal should be excused.
Well, I haven’t ever deal with this exactly, but I feel like that’s fair. You’re instinct on a most primal level is to protect your kid. And when was instinct ever mature?
However, it’s good that you were able to turn around and see your overreaction also. (when not in the thick of things, in that way I am the same as you)

moosh in indy.s last blog post..Avoiding the flies on poo fallout.

I probably would have done the same thing. Perhaps without the huffing and puffing but, I most likely would have yelled.

My 7 year old and 5 year old both would NEVER do something like that. Partly because, I would have been watching them and partly because they have been taught better than that.

In the heat of the moment, especially when it comes to your kids, your emotions will get the best of you.

Rachels last blog post..Rebuttal

I have been the mom who scolded other kids. One time a total bully shoved Bulldog, knocked him down and caused him to split his lip and cut his eye. I walked out and let him have it. (calmly, but forcefully)

I thought back and wondered if I had made it worse for my son. I wondered if the kid would make fun of him for mommy stepping in.

Well, about an hour later, the kid came to my door and apologized to me, then my son. He genuinely felt bad.

If I had not scolded him, I don’t think that would have happened. I feel like I made him think about what he had done.

If it had been my child throwing mud at your son, and I saw you scolding him/her, I would have let you scold them, and then I would have let them have it for such inappropriate behavior. I wouldn’t have been mad at you at all. I don’t allow my kids to act like that.

I’ve noticed that when someone other than a parent or parental figure scolds a child, they are more likely to listen. If the girl honestly didn’t know she was doing something wrong , then she needed to be told. Hopefully she’ll think about it if she’s ever in that situation again.

I am a mama bear. And I will roar. I will take on another mama bear if I have to in order to protect my babies. I want my kids to know they have the right NOT to be treated like that.

Robins last blog post..Random

When you’re trained as a teacher, you react as a teacher. And then you remember you weren’t in the classroom.

I’ve even done this to adults in stores, and then remembered, A: I was talking to an adult, B: I was not in my classroom.

Mud at head= furrowed brow, the look, and the tone.

Well done Jennifer!

Smiling Moms last blog post..Sing a song, sing it loud

I don’t disagree with providing guidance to other people’s children, but I think I would have liked to talk to the girl differently (I say “would have liked” because I know if my emotions got the best of me, I might have huffed and puffed too!).

So, in an ideal world, I would have:

Gone over and gotten in between the kids or somehow made a protective stance around my child… As I approached, I would see how my little one was reacting to it.

I would have said, “Hey, woah! Please don’t throw mud on this little boy.”

If he clearly was wincing and not liking it, I might have added, “See his face. He really doesn’t like it.” All while scooping him up.

If he wasn’t clearly disliking it, I might have said, “I am his mom and I don’t want him to have mud on him.”

If she kept trying to throw it, I would have picked up my guy and walked away (since I wouldn’t want to restrain her, etc.).

You mentioned that you told her “you should be ashamed.” I try not to shame my kids or anyone else’s. I know it sounds naive, but I try to assume positive intent (not that the action is positive for everyone involved, but that the child is not necessarily acting in an evil way).

By your description, it is unclear to me if Carson was really hating it — you said in a comment that he was both wincing and laughing.

That still doesn’t make it okay, and as a mom I always want to advocate and protect my child, but I bring it up because the girl might have thought he was enjoying it, too.

In any case, I am sorry that it happened, and thank you for being honest in posting it and braving all the comments.

Thanks, too, for listening.

Stacy (mama-om)s last blog post..Attitude of Gratitude

I’d have done the same thing….on a good day. A bad day may have included mud in that girl’s eyes.

dysfunctional moms last blog post..Fighting Indifference

You go, mama! I think that your reaction was warranted, and completely okay, especially for an older child. If it had been a 1 year old, then obviously, your reaction would have been different, but an older kid throwing [anything] at a younger kid is SO not cool.

Just from a babysitter’s perspective-I think that if the kids I were sitting for got into that sort of situation (say a 5 year old threw sand at a 2 year old I was watching at the park), I would probably react in the same ‘Mama Bear’ sort of way as you did. I would (probably not-so-nicely) say to the older child, “Hey! That’s NOT okay. Please do not throw sand at Christian. It could hurt his eyes.” or something similar. Even though I doubt I’d have the guts (as a babysitter) to go find the kids’ mom and have a word with her, or to do anything more than make sure “Christian” was out of harm’s way, I’d probably deal with it somewhat like that.

I don’t think there was anything wrong with the way you handled it. And if I were the little girl’s mom, you can bet she’d be getting a firm talking to and punishment for that behavior.

flickrlovrs last blog post..This Is Not My Day (A.K.A. gr$a#gl!(@kssj2JS!(#@!)

Hello

Yeah you probably over reacted, but I would have done the same thing….well I have done things very similar. Have a wonderful day!

LOL. GIven that he was already dirty I’d say you overreacted a little. However, given that she was old enough to know better I definitely think you were in the right to say something.

Devans last blog post..The Trip

Maybe a little over the top. I will correct someone else’s kid…mostly when their parents aren’t around to take notice. I usually gently scold them, just as I would my own child. I tell them that it’s not appropriate to behave that way and I don’t expet to see it happen again. This seems to be effective. If someone had to tell me son to stop doing something, I would appreciate it. If I was nearby I would scold him. But I would NOT appreciate another parent/adult YELLING at my child. I think that would offend me if I was close enough to see it.

Mommy Daisys last blog post..Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

I’m in the minority. I think you were a little bit wrong to react the way you did. I understand why you would feel so strongly, but that doesn’t justify it and my impression is that you are seeking permission from others to soothe your conscience for the way you treated the little girl (your huffy comment that she was mean was the most egregious).

I recall when I was 9 or 10 playing at in indoor playground. A boy, perhaps 4 or 5, climbed up the stairs to a covered slippery slide and was near the top when I started going up the stairs. He slid down. I came down behind him, but never touched or spoke to him at any point. For whatever reason, he was bawling at the bottom of the slide. His mother ran over to me and yelled “Did you hit him!?! Surprised, I had no idea what to even say. Even though I responded “No!” my little 10 year old ego was bruised. I felt attacked and wasn’t sure what I had done wrong.

You don’t really know what the intent of anyone is (children included) until you ask them. Sure, you may not always get an honest answer, but you can discern a lot by their demeanor after they get the honest question. My opinion is you should have asked both children what was going on. If the little girl acted ashamed, embarrassed, or cavalier, THEN you can probably assume she intended harm.

Because of the way you reacted to what you thought you were seeing, you will never really know. Keep this in mind before you shoot first and ask questions later. (My opinion would be altered if you saw something potentially life-threatening. You don’t take those kind of chances. Nothing you’ve said so far would indicate to me that your son was suffering legitimate physical harm)

tagunders last blog post..Total Vindication!

I’m late to the party because I was out in the country having tobacco spittin’ contest and watching two cousins marry each other, but I’m chiming in anyway.

Knowing Jennifer personally and having been around her in many social mommy situations, she isn’t a reactionary person without reason.

Anytime you react from mother bear mode, it is not over-reacting. Good lord, we have those feelings and instincts for a reason. Physical harm isn’t the only reason we should defend our children. If it were, I wouldn’t have raised a ruckus at my oldest son’s school over him being made fun of for crying. After all, he wasn’t suffering “legitimate physical harm”.

If my almost 8 year was throwing mud in the face of a 2 year old, I’d raise my voice at him too.

I think it’s great that Carson knows he has a mommy who will defend him. Kids need that too.

Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..A Jaunt to the Country

I once yelled at a 7 year old boy for hitting my 4 year old boy in the head with a wiffle ball bat. HARD. His parents and good friends of ours were right there and my instinct was to nip it in the bud and yell at the older kid immediately. I was embarrassed and learned that was probably not the best response. I don’t like to yell at my own kids (cuz I do it all the time and they are immune to it), so I don’t think it is appropriate to yell to get a response.

I think I would have sternly asked her WHY she was doing it. IF she thought it was okay and DOES she think there is something she should do about it. - making her think about it and slightly embarrassing her without bringing more attention to the situation.

Don’t know for sure how old Carson is (3? 4?), but with my kids now in school (6 and 5), we have a LOT more incidents like this. Sometimes it is my kid acting inappropriately and sometimes it is another’s. Since are past the mom-attended playdates now, I have to handle these situations without the other mom’s. I think a stern discussion is more effective.

KEEP BELIEVING

Angies last blog post..

The best intentions… certainly. The best method… probably not. Otherwise, would you be questioning your methods? I wholeheartedly agree that an 8-yr-old should know better. I mean, really know better. However, having had my 2-yr-old yelled at by another Mom, I have to say, it is not cool. I realize your circumstances were not the same, but if things are so out of hand that yelling seems appropriate, I would’ve appreciated being informed and allowed to handle it on my own. MIA Moms on the other hand… that’s another thing. Sorry, I’m no help Good post though!

Jamies last blog post..Funny things I’ve Heard Lately

[...] in print so that in the future I can remember these precious moments. Especially when he’s eight and in trouble for throwing mud on some poor, defenseless two-year-old or when he’s grounded for pummelling his [...]

Okay. When I first read your post last week, I definitely agreed that you were within your rights to correct someone else’s child. I do think, however, that you could have reacted a bit more “maturely” (especially with that last comment!)

All that said….yesterday, I was on the receiving end of a VERY irate parent’s yelling. Apparently, I was not reprimanding my 4-year-old son to her satisfaction at swim lessons, so she decided to do it for me. Angrily and nastily to my little boy. When I asked what the problem was, she and her husband began yelling at me about my poor parenting. 30 minutes of drama ensued.

Deep breath.

So, now that I’ve been on the other end of someone else’s immature response to a problem like this, I would just ask that in the future, we all consider the big picture. Wouldn’t it be better if we adults handled our problems among adults, instead of taking it out on other people’s children?

While I still believe that we can (and yes, should) correct other people’s children, can we do it without being childish ourselves?

If she had mentioned this to me two days ago - that my kid can’t keep his hands to himself and is splashing in the pool (imagine that?) - I would have talked to him about it, asked him not to, and would have tried to be more sensistive to her concerns.

Instead what I got was lots of yelling, in front of God, parents, kids, and everybody. That just made it so much better for everyone.

The Lovely One, You know, I ABSOLUTELY agree that some of the things I said to the girl were not the best things to say. If I had it to do over again, I’d have left out a lot of what I said, but still been VERY STERN with her.

I think, though, that your pool situation and this situation are VERY different and it sounds like this mom that yelled at you and your son was even more immature than I was. I guess I just don’t want to be lumped in the same category as that person.

If this girl would have been four years old, I wouldn’t have been as angry, nor would I have ever said what I ended up saying. If this girl’s mother would have been right there, I probably would have been more composed, tho still asking her to not throw mud IN MY 2 YEAR OLD’s FACE.

I really do understand how your situation would have been terrible for you and your child. I just don’t think these two situations can be compared.

For the first time ever, I’m shutting off comments on a post. While I did ask for opinions, and have appreciated all the comments I’ve received, I really am tired of defending my actions OVER and OVER. It has been really hard to read all of these comments. And yes, I realize that by posting this I opened myself up for criticism.

I think that many of you are viewing this situation through your own experiences…well, of course you are, as that’s just how we relate. I feel that many of you are viewing me unfairly because of your own experiences, though..

I don’t think that the BULK of what I did was wrong, tho if I had it to do again I’d have been more mature. I wouldn’t have huffed off, calling the kids mean, nor would I have said anything about being ashamed.

But you better believe that I do not regret defending my 2 year old son. He needs to know that I have his back and that we’re taking shit off some smart ass 8 year old.

So, yeah. Comments closed.

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Nice to Meet You

I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 2. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #1 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on Twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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The Given Day
Love in the Time of Cholera
Esther; It's Tough Being a Woman
~~Why is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?~~ I
~~Whitethorn Woods~~ B
~~The Five People You Meet in Heaven~~ A
~~Paula Spencer~~ B-
~~Digging to America~~ A
~~Rebecca~~ A-
~~The Friday Night Knitting Club~~ B
~~The Reader~~ B+
~~The Shack~~ B+
~~The Kite Runner~~ A
~~Three Junes~~ C-
~~Kitchen Confidential~~ A
~~A Cook's Tour~~ A
~~The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas~~ A
~~My Friend Leonard~~ A
~~Daisy Chain~~ F
~~The Gravedigger's Daughter~~ B-
~~A Girl Named Zippy~~ A-
~~Eat, Pray, Love~~ A
~~Water for Elephants~~ B+
~~The Book Thief~~ A++
~~The Poisonwood Bible~~ A+
~~The Hunger Games~~ A

playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren