Dead Woman Blueberry Picking

July 15, 2008 | Filed in: Indiana, Little Monkeys, Quirky Me

I lost my mind several days ago and signed Carson, Ella and I up to pick blueberries. My super-mom-wanna-be side filled my mind with nonsense like, “enrichment” and “learning” opportunities for the kids. What the hell ever. This morning my rather-be-on-the-computer-with-the-kids-watching-Dora side has reconsidered. But since I already RSVPed, we’re going against my better judgment.

The acid in my stomach is churning with worry and trepidation. Two kids, a stroller (I don’t even KNOW if they allow strollers), camera bag, hand cleaning paraphenalia, diapers, wipes, beer, sunscreen, snacks, extra clothes, and my TWO TOO-YOUNG children (yes I think I DO need to mention them twice)…blueberry picking??…Why do I do this to myself?

All I can think is, “There’s going to be mud! There’s going to be blueberry juice! The stains! I won’t survive! I won’t survive!”

I can almost hear the blueberry farm workers calling as I set off into the field with all my gear and two toddlers and into my certain demise, “DEAD WOMAN PICKING BLUEBERRIES.”

Dear Interwebs,

It’s been great knowing you. Due to some bad decisions on my part, I guess that this will be our last time together unless somehow, some way, I make it through this execution day. Pray for my soul.

Your pal,
Jennifer

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I think you’ll do fine. And, the kids totally could shock you with their ability to pick and eat - thereby saving you money. You only pay for what you take, right? Take v. old clothes (your brown tee, perhaps?) and be prepared. We’re thinking about doing a pick your own, too. Please let me know how it works out. Godspeed!

Oh, and PS: I love the new header. Smashing, dear.

Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..Chrismukkahween

Good Luck today!

I think it will be fine. Just make sure that beer is handy! I hope you are bringing more than one….

Connie @ The Chronicless last blog post..And the Winner Is….

you do like self-induced torture don’t you? but just think of all the blueberry pancakes you will be able to make for days to come!

DesignHER Mommas last blog post..the tiny saga continues…

I am betting on your survival. A stained survival, but a true survival story will emerge…

HRHs last blog post..Holly and the Aquaskipper…

We have similar souls. This outing would reduce me to rocking in a corner. Good luck! Love your heading too.

You’re a braver woman than I’ll ever be…Even dead in a blueberry field.

Just wrap the little critters in plastic wrap. Or go to Goodwill and buy some throwaway clothes. Let ‘em have some FUN. Get DIRTY and STAINED and stuff. And get in there and be a kid WITH THEM!!

I think you’ll do fine. In fact, I think it will be… fun. Blueberry picking isn’t so bad wthl kids, just know you will do most of the work. Yes, they do allow strollers. Think of all the juicy blueberries you will have.

Casseys last blog post..A Girl Named Ruby

My thoughts and prayers are with you….

Well, think of it this way…if Kate can take her 8 kids to Hershey by herself…and survive…I am sure you can too. I am rooting for you girl!!!

On the other hand I am still trying to figure out how to take my 3yr old and my 2week old with me to the laundry room………….

Sandys last blog post..A post worth reading…

Oh it’ll be FUN!! I wish I were picking blueberries today.

amys last blog post..Mommy Bloggers / Organization Expertz Needed

Good Luck to you!!

By the way– I love the new header! You’re really cookin’ with that new camera!

Heidi

Hydes Like Uss last blog post..A Jumbly

If the blueberry pickin’ doesn’t take you out, then make some blueberry fried pies with the fruits of your labor (your kids and your blueberries). At least you can die fat and happy!

Nicoles last blog post..Me Oh My, I Love Fried Pie

I would never have the guts. I can’t wait to see the after pics!
I pray for your soul!

mandys last blog post..surprise surprise…

Love the new header…all shots with the new camera? Looks great!

I think you’ll be surprised. My grandmother took us starting at about Carson’s age and we loved it.

Good luck!

CourtneyRyans last blog post..and the phone just rang…

I love your new header! Seriously cute! You’ll make it…and you’ll have created a memory your kids will never forget…especially if you give up and faint…

I’m very jealous you are going to blogher!

@Nicole: I like the way you think!

@CourtneyRyan: Why yes they ARE with my new camera! Thanks for noticing!

OMG, I make so many of those same kinds of decisions. Supermamawannabe, that’s me too. Sucks, ’cause I always commit to things and almost always regret it. I hope we hear from you again in the near future. I hope you don’t die a blueberry death!

Kias last blog post..Museums and Occupational Therapy

you are a braver woman than i!

alis last blog post..memory is a gift. cherish it.

It’s just funny how most mom’s feel the exact same way - I totally have had this feeling over and over. Where on Monday planning a trip on Saturday sounds like a great idea. Never once do I think of all the packing and planning and issues that may arise.

Then some Friday night…I start worrying. Then come Saturday, I’m working nonstop from the time I get up til the time we leave to ensure we have EVERYTHING with us and that Mateo won’t be dead tired, crabby or a grumpasaurus.

I wish you the best of luck.

Janines last blog post..Remember that shirt I made?

Just think of all the fun stories you’ll have to tell at blogher. And the blueberry treats you can bring everyone:)

You can do it! I am sure all went well. And even if there are stains, you will survive!

Heathers last blog post..The Fugly Song

I have some killer blueberry recipes for you when you get back, which I am fully confident you will be alive.

Yummy blueberry topping for pancakes. Homemade blueberry muffins. All good with frozen blueberries. I know they will be even better with fresh!

Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..36 Hours of Solitude

memories will be made.

Love, love, love the new header!

You totally sound like Kate Gosselin with the blueberry picking! Fresh picked blueberries are the best- we survived, you will too.

Beths last blog post..three girls go shopping

I can’t wait to see the pics from this escapade. I love the new header.

Kendrawolfs last blog post..The Big Read

You will survive. I survived strawberry picking with an 18 month old. The clothes didn’t quite survive but we did.

Renees last blog post..Things Overheard in my House and Other Randomness

You’ve got my prayers!! I wouldn’t do it for all the wine in the world!!heh!!

justmylifes last blog post..Random BS

Everytime I read your posts I smile or laugh, thank you. You’ll do fine but you might have some stained fingers and clothes! What else are memories made of!?!

Green & Clean Moms last blog post..Reuse those eye glasses, don’t toss them!

@Green & Clean Mom: That’s quite a compliment, thank you!

We did survive and made some memories alright. Or nightmares? Not sure yet…

See you survived! didn’t you know as moms we have superpowers? Or a lot of Xanax.

haha!

We did blackberry picking in the rain and had a blast. Yeah, the kids got dirty but they had so much fun. This seems like a manageable outing that gets you out of your comfort zone. Have fun!!

all things bds last blog post..5 Things…

I’m praying for ya sister because I know what it’s like. We tried grapes, at least they said they were grapes. They were really muscadines and the whole experience ended me up in the kitchen straining muscadines through a pillow case to make freaking jelly. Woman, really I hope you survive!

These are the kind of days that surprise you the most and you end up having a great time. I’m feeling it for ya. It’ll be great!

Kathryns last blog post..The Exhibitionist

We chickened out at the last moment. We were supposed to go with our group. I know, I know….I’m a slacker!

It’ll be fun! I promise! I took all three of mine strawberry picking and they had a blast. I piled them into the wagon which was not only helpful, but cute at the same time. Be sure you dress the kids in their cruddiest gear, though, because blueberries are messy.

Enjoy it! I wish I were going with you!

andrias last blog post..Shoes. Mine.

good luck! I bet ( or more like hope) it was better than you thought it would be! I love blueberries!!!

P.S. I love your new header, adorable

That sounds so wholesome and family-fun-ish. I wish we had something like that out here in AZ where nothing really grows except cactus…

Your new header is so cute! I love it~

You are brave. In a totally insane way.
I’ve blogrolled you so I can come back after I pee.

Tammys last blog post..Don’t touch the Mummy

First off, I see all these fab comments about your new fab header, and it won’t.fracking.load.for.me. Me only. Maybe because my ‘puter sucks azz. But whatevs.

Remember “I Will Survive”? Sing that as your kids smash blueberries into each other’s noses and trample through the muddy dirt. I’ll be waiting for the After Show.

flickrlovrs last blog post..Hancock, Twitter & My Internet Connection (or I Swear There’s A Skunk Outside My Open Window)

Just three days till Blogher. I’ll keep my eyes out for the lady with the blue fingers. Have fun today.

Zip n Tizzys last blog post..The Whizz Kid

now THAT is one venture that I would NOT attempt!!! Do let us know how it turns out!

Bethanys last blog post..OH. HOW.I.HAVE.MISSED.Y’ALL.

Oh good heavens. WHY do we do these things to ourselves? Glutton for punishment? Yes. I do believe so.

Jesss last blog post..Living two lives at the same time

During all our adventures last week I kept looking at all the moms out and about by themselves - with their kids - doing it solo. There were moms with like FOUR kids - out and about - and doing it. Made me feel a little silly for waiting until Mike was off of work to do some of the things we did - but I’m glad I did! I’m a big chicken and the thought of going blueberry picking with the 2 of ‘em by myself!? Scary! Glad you survived.

Cathys last blog post..Wanted

Aha! You live! I thought for sure I’d find an obit circulating about you. Glad you survived the horrible ordeal. Good luck getting the stains out of your soul.

MadWomanMegs last blog post..Like the Little Engine That Could….but with a better Caboose

For the very same reasons this is why I don’t ever leave the house with the twins, ever . . . unless accompanied by a bevy of suckers - I mean helpers and friends.

BlueBellas last blog post..Because I’m Not Getting Any: Part II

Blueberry picking is priceless. Blueberry eating is delicious. Blueberry cooking/canning/freezing is fun and educational.

It’s the blueberry poop that shows up in the diaper that really sucks!

Jennis last blog post..Foul, Fecal, Freaking Flies!

You must have been thinking about how you’ll have three days of freedom and you wanted to get one last good deed in.

Must’ve been.

VDogs last blog post..Project Support Beauty In Nature

ziploc baggies and a parking lot strip-down before entering the family truckster afterwards. You’ll be alright.

I made cookies at Christmas and decided to let the kids decorate them. What I wasn’t thinking about was all of the raw egg in the “paint” (we had to paint the cookies prior to baking) for the cookies and how a 1-year-old and 3-year-old would know not to put it straight into their mouths. It was the most stressful project I’ve ever done. No one had fun and there was a big mess and MUCH raw egg eaten.

But…everyone survived. You can do it, Sista!

Mama DBs last blog post..Starbucks? Check. Gas? Check. Bees? Check,

I took my son bb picking last weekend and it went very well. 3 1/2 is a good age for it, especially when said 3.5 loves blueberries more than any other food. He must have eaten a pound or more while we picked. Once we got home though, our 3 lbs didn’t sort out into as much freezer stash as I expected. We have to go back in the next month and be more serious about picking.

Rayne of Terrors last blog post..wildflowers

I haven’t yet ventured out with the hubby (a brit who has never ever been berry picking) or the Little Imp to gather berries here in Maine, AKA the blueberry state (yeah there’s that little thing about it being famous for Lobsters too, but so what!)….oh who am I kidding? I haven’t got the first clue how to pick berries. That and someone told me there would be snakes…or maybe that was a warning for picking blackberries. I don’t know.

Either way, we’re well overdue to go pick berries, get dirty and then come home and ask ourselves what the hell we’re going to do with all the berries because none of us even like them!

[...] Update from yesterday…(This is totally separate from Hump Day), I survived, barely. Five pounds of blueberries, two screaming and baked children, half a juice box, and stained knees were my souvenirs. Oh, I can’t forget the shit-tay pictures I took. *insert heavy eye rolling and irritated head shaking* *and sneering* /end over use of * [...]

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Nice to Meet You

I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 3, and Ella, 1. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #1 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools!!." You can follow me on Twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, view my photos on Flickr, and contact me by email.

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2008 Booklist

~~Pillars of the Earth~~ B-
~~East of Eden~~ A-
The Kite Runner
~~Memory Keeper's Daughter~~ C+
Water for Elephants
~~Nineteen Minutes~~ B-
~~HP and the Deathly Hallows~~ A++
~~Running W/ Scissors~~ A
The Rabbit Factory
Waiting for Birdy
~~Life of Pi~~ A
~~Outlander~~ A
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~~A Tree Grows in Brooklyn~~ A+
~~The Hour I First Believed~~ A
~~Twilight~~ C-

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