This morning while playing chase with Carson, I got injured. SEVERELY injured.
See, I was chasing him back and forth, catching him, tickling him, then sending him on his merry way for more chasing. For some unknown reason he veered from our silently agreed upon game and decided to HEAD-BUTT ME IN MY CROTCH.
Huh? Wha?? Crotch head-butting wasn’t a part of the game I was playing???
OH my aching crotch.
It was all I could do not to scream shitf*ckdamnhellc*ntf*ckf*ckf*ck!
Having a crotch wound is not only painful, but awkward to nurse back to health. Rubbing my sore, achy crotch…well, it looks weird. I can’t really go out in public, stroking my girly region now can I? Also, there’s no easy way to wrap an Ace bandage around your crotch. Trust me. I tried. Band-aids cure most ailments, but not those where HAIR and tender skin are involved. I also attempted putting ice on my crotch, but um…ice? It’s especially cold when touching your crotch.
I haven’t, uh, visually inspected my crotch to check for bruising, but I don’t think I need to SEE it. I FEEL it, thankyouverymuch. My crotch HURTS.
My crotch won’t be accepting ANY visitors any time soon (sorry Tate, talk to CARSON about that), but she is accepting sympathy cards. You can send those to:
Jennifer’s Crotch
c/o Jennifer…because it’s MY crotch, that’s why. I’m caring for it the best I can.
Comment’s section
Playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com
# of times the word “crotch” appears in this post…12. Awesome.
Marylin
July 25, 2008 at 3:53 am
Owie!! >_<
dysfunctional mom
July 25, 2008 at 4:40 am
I wonder if Hallmark makes Crotch Injury Get Well Soon Cards?
If not, they certainly should.
Get well soon, Crotch!
dysfunctional moms last blog post..These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
britt
July 25, 2008 at 7:03 am
this, mama, is what we call a VA (vag accident) over in my neck of the woods. everybody’s had a particularly memorable one. i’ve had two, (not including birthing ten pounders), as a child. one involving a boy bike and one with a balance beam in gym class. yes i was that kid who always got hurt in gym class.
Mommy Daisy
Twitter: mommydaisy
July 25, 2008 at 8:27 am
Jennifer’s Crotch,
Get well soon!
Love,
MD
P.S. Oh, OUCH!
P.P.S. My son comes runnning at me like that too. My natural reaction is to bend. It’s worked for me so far.
CourtneyRyan
July 25, 2008 at 10:10 am
YIKES! Be careful. In a “sparring” incident gotten out of hand my brother kneed me in the crotch hard enough to break blood vessles and damaged lymphnodes that then got infected some how. (I have no idea. I was like 16 at the time.) I actually have a scar from this.
Sadly, much like a guy, I dropped to my knees and cried when it happened. I’m such a wuss.
Hope you recover quickly!
Dawn
July 25, 2008 at 10:15 am
And men claim we don’t “feel their pain” in that region. Hello! Many nerve endings!
Heather
Twitter: DExtraordinaire
July 25, 2008 at 10:26 am
I wish I could say that I don’t know that pain, but sadly I do. Mine was from walking over the kids while they were lego-ing or something about 7 years ago. Chicken shot straight up and killed me. Much sympathy for you and your crotch.
Queen of Shake Shake
July 25, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Poor poor Jennifer’s crotch. May the gods of Kotex, Vagisil, Monistat, FDS and all other feminine related powers be with you during your time of need. Always.
Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..To Write or Not To Write?
Jess
July 25, 2008 at 12:37 pm
OUCH. Now you do realize you are going to get the most vial people looking at your blog due to crotch being written 12 times? Man are they going to be sorely disapointed. No pun intended.
Jesss last blog post..Why Vaniqa should send me their product to try out.
Green & Clean Mom
July 25, 2008 at 2:32 pm
See, my laugh for the day! Thank you! Hope your mommy parts are feeling better soon! LOL!
Green & Clean Moms last blog post..Save Big on Tees for Change
Anglophile Football Fanatic
July 25, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Your poor aching crotch. Oh, my. Poor Jennifer.
Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..Oh, Snarfblatt! A Dinglehopper!
Rachael
July 25, 2008 at 4:39 pm
OMG, I am so sorry. My son likes to sit down on me when I’m laying down… a couple of times he’s landed his tailbone right on my crotch… oh lord.
I hope it feels better soon!
Rachaels last blog post..Haiku Friday: The Truth is Out There
MizFit
July 25, 2008 at 5:23 pm
you so funny.
MizFits last blog post..Link Love. Subtitle: Im gunning for an award with regards to my creative post titles.
andi
July 26, 2008 at 9:23 am
Nothing wrong with the word “crotch”. Hope the lady bits have recovered.
andis last blog post..Common sense and impeccable timing: I have neither
jen
July 27, 2008 at 11:38 am
Ow. Bad ow.
Um, peas ice pack? A good excuse for a long bath? A stiff drink?
jens last blog post..Please stand by…
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VDog
Twitter: VDog
July 29, 2008 at 1:04 am
I’m sorry, hun, but i am LMAO.
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