This morning while playing chase with Carson, I got injured. SEVERELY injured.
See, I was chasing him back and forth, catching him, tickling him, then sending him on his merry way for more chasing. For some unknown reason he veered from our silently agreed upon game and decided to HEAD-BUTT ME IN MY CROTCH.
Huh? Wha?? Crotch head-butting wasn’t a part of the game I was playing???
OH my aching crotch.
It was all I could do not to scream shitf*ckdamnhellc*ntf*ckf*ckf*ck!
Having a crotch wound is not only painful, but awkward to nurse back to health. Rubbing my sore, achy crotch…well, it looks weird. I can’t really go out in public, stroking my girly region now can I? Also, there’s no easy way to wrap an Ace bandage around your crotch. Trust me. I tried. Band-aids cure most ailments, but not those where HAIR and tender skin are involved. I also attempted putting ice on my crotch, but um…ice? It’s especially cold when touching your crotch.
I haven’t, uh, visually inspected my crotch to check for bruising, but I don’t think I need to SEE it. I FEEL it, thankyouverymuch. My crotch HURTS.
My crotch won’t be accepting ANY visitors any time soon (sorry Tate, talk to CARSON about that), but she is accepting sympathy cards. You can send those to:
Jennifer’s Crotch
c/o Jennifer…because it’s MY crotch, that’s why. I’m caring for it the best I can.
Comment’s section
Playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com
# of times the word “crotch” appears in this post…12. Awesome.
Owie!! >_<
I wonder if Hallmark makes Crotch Injury Get Well Soon Cards?
If not, they certainly should.
Get well soon, Crotch!
dysfunctional moms last blog post..These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
this, mama, is what we call a VA (vag accident) over in my neck of the woods. everybody’s had a particularly memorable one. i’ve had two, (not including birthing ten pounders), as a child. one involving a boy bike and one with a balance beam in gym class. yes i was that kid who always got hurt in gym class.
Jennifer’s Crotch,
Get well soon!
Love,
MD
P.S. Oh, OUCH!
P.P.S. My son comes runnning at me like that too. My natural reaction is to bend. It’s worked for me so far.
YIKES! Be careful. In a “sparring” incident gotten out of hand my brother kneed me in the crotch hard enough to break blood vessles and damaged lymphnodes that then got infected some how. (I have no idea. I was like 16 at the time.) I actually have a scar from this.
Sadly, much like a guy, I dropped to my knees and cried when it happened. I’m such a wuss.
Hope you recover quickly!
And men claim we don’t “feel their pain” in that region. Hello! Many nerve endings!
I wish I could say that I don’t know that pain, but sadly I do. Mine was from walking over the kids while they were lego-ing or something about 7 years ago. Chicken shot straight up and killed me. Much sympathy for you and your crotch.
Poor poor Jennifer’s crotch. May the gods of Kotex, Vagisil, Monistat, FDS and all other feminine related powers be with you during your time of need. Always.
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OUCH. Now you do realize you are going to get the most vial people looking at your blog due to crotch being written 12 times? Man are they going to be sorely disapointed. No pun intended.
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See, my laugh for the day! Thank you! Hope your mommy parts are feeling better soon! LOL!
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Your poor aching crotch. Oh, my. Poor Jennifer.
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OMG, I am so sorry. My son likes to sit down on me when I’m laying down… a couple of times he’s landed his tailbone right on my crotch… oh lord.
I hope it feels better soon!
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you so funny.
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Nothing wrong with the word “crotch”. Hope the lady bits have recovered.
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Ow. Bad ow.
Um, peas ice pack? A good excuse for a long bath? A stiff drink?
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