playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren

This situation of which I’m going to describe is PURELY hypothetical.  Not one ounce of truth to it, no siree.  None whatsoever.  *fingers crossed behind my back*

So tell me, what would you do if, say, you were on a walk with your (two) kids in an adjoining neighborhood and you suddenly had the most terrible, all-consuming itch.

The itch is in the upper crotch region, not to be confused with the lower crotch region-which obviously if you’re itching “down there” you might want to see a DOCTOR.

Anyway, this upper crotch region itch is a really, really itchy itch.  It itches so much you can barely walk.  It itches so much you feel like if you don’t scratch it, you’ll lose your mind.

Keep this in mind, you’re not in your neighborhood.  It’s highly unlikely that you’ll see anyone you know.  Even if you did see someone, most likely you’d never see them again.  Also, it’s early in the morning, but not so early that there are lots of people driving by heading for work, kids have already left for school.  Basically, it looks as if nobody even knows you’re there.

But also keep in mind the fact that it’s your CROTCH that itches and to scratch it looks incredibly nasty to the average Joe who happens to witness such an act.

Do you get in there and scratch away, right there on the street, trying to act like nothing’s amiss as you attempt to continue pushing your double stroller while getting after that itch?

Or do you suck it up and continue walking while thinking non-itchy and non-scratchy thoughts?

WHAT do you DO????

I’m just curious in case this ever happens to me.  Also, I’m just collecting this information for a book I’m writing on survival skills in the suburbs.  Um.  Yeah.

When we lived in Alabama, we were not friends with any of our neighbors.  There were no evening chats in the middle of the street, no neighborhood parties, no anything even remotely neighborly.

My new neighborhood here in Indiana is the POLAR opposite.  Everyone talks to each other (except one family and they don’t talk to anyone), we have neighborhood parties, and we all are always just, well…NEIGHBORLY.   It’s exactly what I wanted in a neighborhood, down to the ability to walk next door to grab a cup of flour or have the neighbor across the street offer to take my kids when I have to go to the doctor.

Though wonderful, it can be a little overwhelming at times, to say the least.

Partly because we live on a virtual postage stamp and partly because there are lots of kids in the neighborhood, there is NO privacy.  There have been times I just want to go outside, watch the kids play, and not talk to anyone.  Instead of peace and quiet, I’ve had a two hour conversation with one of the neighbors while the kids run around screaming.  Other times, I’ve had to be the bad guy and carry two screaming children home from an impromptu neighborhood get-together with all the kids because it was well past dinner time.  Try explaining to a two-year-old and a fifteen-month-old why everyone except them gets to stay outside and play.  (Hint:  It’s not fun.  Lots of screaming is involved.)

I truly love the community where we live.  However, it would be nice to be able to control how much community I have to ingest sometimes.

Not being one to just bitch without having a solution, I think I have found the answer.  Not only will my idea bring joy and happiness to weary neighbors across the universe yearning for peace and quiet, but it will make me RICH.

It’s called the Go! Neighbor Alert/Deflection System, or GoNADS.  It’s very simple, all you need is three colors of fabric, red, green, and yellow.  You may recognize the red, green, and yellow colors from when you learned about traffic laws.  In case you’re not familiar with this or you’re just plain dumb, let me give you a brief refresher course…

Red means “stop.”

Green means “go.”

Yellow means “be careful, slow down.”

Place your selected flag to alert neighbors of your outside plans on your mailbox or flagpole.  As an added bonus, you can also use “flag holding” as a means of punishment for unruly children, making them sit in the driveway holding the flag, for all the neighbors to see.

Now your intentions will be known.  When people see a red flag, they’ll know that they need to stay the hell away.  A green flag tells your neighbors, “hey!  We’re ready to play!  Bring some beer when you come!”  A yellow flag means, “be careful.  I have PMS/my husband is going to be late AGAIN/I’ve been drinking.  You may not want to come over right now unless you want me to talk your ear off.”

I’m going to sell these pieces of fabric in a kit, complete with rubber bands!  Right now, I’m thinking that $39.99 is a good price for my GoNADS, so I’ll start taking orders now.

Cha-ching.

This picture actually has NOTHING to do with jazz hands, but it is a picture of sun flare and whenever I hear the word “flare” it totally makes me think of “jazz hands.”

I don’t why, OKAY.   Humor me, won’t you?

More WW here.

Also!  I’m entering this photo in a contest sponsored by See Hear Speak No Evil.  Winner gets a $10 gift card to a place of their choice online.  The theme this month is “Nature.”  Sun-Nature…get it!?  Go enter a nature-y picture yourself!

I KNOW that the “experts” say we shouldn’t reward our children with food.  They’ll end up with messed up ways of thinking about food and eventually be morbidly obese and probably prematurely bald or something.

So in the interest of following the advice of “experts” and not royally screwing him up, I didn’t actually reward Carson’s surprisingly AWESOME school behavior with pudding.  Rather, I rewarded him with MAKING pudding.  That’s totally different.

Any kids that sits in circle time AND sings AND likes it, totally deserves some pudding.  I mean, they deserve to MAKE some pudding.

Poor Carson with the cheap Mommy. Maybe someday I’ll make enough off my ads to by real Nilla Wafers.

Now if I can just get him to wait until after dinner to eat it…then the pudding would be dessert and NOT a reward!  TOTALLY.  DIFFERENT.

I’ve read several articles lately about etiquette in the blogosphere.   Etiquette, in terms of blogging however, falls into that reoccurring category of “You can’t make everyone happy.”

I think that this is a subject that has the potential to hurt feelings, and in no way is that the purpose of this post.    I hope that the comments section today turns into a true discussion of this subject, and veers from openly hurtful jabs at others.

Let’s start with the subject of comments.

Here in the blogosphere, there is a “rule” (not sure if it’s written or unwritten) that returning comments to those who’ve visited your blog is necessary…and expected.

While I agree that people should try to reciprocate comments, it is not always feasible.  With life’s responsibilities, a person may not have time to return comments in a timely manner.  I know that I’ve lost readers because I didn’t reciprocate with leaving a comment at their site.  Does this bother me?  Sure, a little.  I don’t want someone to comment here, though, simply because they are expecting me to return the favor.  I also don’t want to allow the hours it would require to reciprocate EVERY comment to interfere with time with my children and husband.  Also, it’s typically not a reflection of YOU if someone doesn’t return the favor of commenting.  More likely it is just a busy life that prevents them from reciprocating.

One way that I make up for my lack of commenting is to promote blog posts I read via Stumbleupon, sharing it in my Google Reader widget, or Twittering about the post (as mentioned in the BTSP 7:  Building Your Community).

Also in regards to commenting, I’ve received comments from people saying things like, “oh you’ll never read this, but…”  and every time I want to reply back, “Of COURSE I read every comment!  Is there anybody who doesn’t??”  I think that there is a misconception that those who get LOTS of comments don’t really read them.  I can’t imagine that there is a person out there who doesn’t read their comments, although I’m sure there are a small handful.  Comments are what all bloggers thrive upon, to me it’s counterintuitive that someone WOULDN’T read them.

Moving along to linking.

My general opinion of linking to other’s blogs is this:  Do it often!  Be generous!  Don’t be intimated to link to bloggers you feel have more traffic or are more popular!  Link to posts you admire and relate to the subject of your post for the day.  There certainly is a fine line between linking to those you admire for the sake of generosity and linking to others as bait.

I do think that if someone has linked to you (you can see most links on Technorati or WhoLinksToMe.), it’s nice to drop by and leave a comment.  Is it necessary?  No.  If you don’t will you hurt someone’s feelings?  Possibly.  Should you lose sleep over this?  NO.

I think that the biggest faux pas in relation to linking is NOT linking to someone you are talking about.   If you are going to specifically name someone in your post, you really need to insert a link to their site.

Memes and Awards

When I first started blogging, I adored being tagged for memes and getting awards.   Once you’ve been around the blogosphere for awhile, though, most likely you have participated in every meme known to man.  Also, days when a meme is posted tend to be low traffic days for most people.  For me, I prefer not to participate in memes since it takes a lot of effort to write them and you get very little return for the time invested.

If you wish to participate in memes, though, that is perfectly fine!  It is also perfectly fine to tag others for the meme, but don’t get your feelings hurt when people don’t play along.

As for awards, it is always kind to give out awards.  The recipient of the award may or may not choose to pass along the award.  Also they may or may not the display the award.  This is again one of those situations where you shouldn’t get your feelings hurt if someone doesn’t play along.

How about a discussion of Twitter etiquette?

Maggie Mason recently wrote an article pertaining to twitter etiquette over at The Morning News.  This article has several thought-provoking points (as much as Twitter can be thought provoking..heh).  While I personally agree with several of the points, I think it’s important to realize that not everyone uses Twitter in the same way.

Following those that follow you:  Touchy subject, I know.  For me, the purpose of Twitter for me is to get to know people and follow links posted.  Therefore, I follow almost everyone who follows me.  On the same token, it’s not necessary to follow back those that follow you, however if you want to seem accessible, it IS the nice thing to do.

There are people using Twitter only to keep in touch with those they really KNOW.  Additionally,  there’s a whole other set of people who only follow those that they deem cool enough. *shrugs shoulders*  None of us should get our panties in a wad if someone doesn’t follow us back.  If you’re really bothered by someone not following you back, then simply UNfollow them.

Speaking of Unfollowing…See above about not getting our panties in a wad.  Also, remember that Twitter gets hosed up OFTEN and unfollows people for you.  I’ve discovered that Twitter has unfollowed LOTS of people for me.  Try not to let it bother you if someone unfollows you, it was quite possibly unintentional.

Promoting yourself on Twitter.  As I’ve already mentioned, people use Twitter for different reasons, one being promoting new blog posts.  For some, this is their sole purpose for using Twitter.  If this annoys you, then unfollow them.  To me, I don’t care how others choose use Twitter (unless they are EVIL Twitter SPAMMERS…GRRR.)

I’m certain that I could write an entire novel on this subject of etiquette in the blogosphere.  Hopefully I’ve made the point that 1) you can’t make everyone happy and 2) don’t get your feelings hurt over things that do (or don’t ) happen in the blogosphere.

Blogging…it’s supposed to be FUN, right?  Perspective…

Discuss amongst yourselves.

You can find all of my blog tips HERE.

*whistling*

So, uh, have you heard who the new MANAGING FREAKING EDITOR of Blog Nosh Magazine is???!!!

It’s me.  Yep, ME!!  Me!!!  I’m very excited for the opportunity to work with Megan and all the other fantastic Channel Editors over at Blog Nosh.

Speaking of Channel Editors, Blog Nosh is currently looking for some fresh meat  (or fresh tofu, for my vegetarian readers) in the following areas:

• Race & Ethnicity
• Fiction & Poetry
• Personal Finance
• Military
• Green Living (branching off from Homemaking)
• Business (a current channel in need of fresh voices)
• Politics (particularly in need of moderate voices)
• Travel & Expats (branching from Entertainment)
• Food (branching from Health & Fitness)

To learn more about the responsibilities of a Channel Editor, head on over to Blog Nosh Magazine to read the low down.

Briefly, a Channel Editor finds the GREAT blog posts to republish on Blog Nosh, contacts the author and gets permission.  Very little writing is involved, just blog reading!  And you’re already doing that, aren’t you!?

Also, men???  Hello…..MEN?  This whole Channel Editor thing isn’t only for women, we would LOVE to have some MEN as Channel Editors.

Interested??  Of COURSE you are!  Email me with your blog address, a few favorite posts, and some url’s of blogs that you read related to the channel you are interested in editing.  If you have already emailed me, never fear…I got your email!

Comments closed on this one.

***

Tate and I are huge Cardinals fans.  For those of you who don’t know, one of the Cardinals’ biggest rivals is the Chicago Cubs.

Although it would be a cold day in hell before I’d ever root for the Cubs, I do have the utmost respect for their stadium…Wrigley Field. Two weeks ago, we got to go to a game between the Cards and Cubs at Wrigley.   It sounds totally cheesy, but it was a dream come true to get to go to Wrigley Field.  SO THRILLING!!!!

Without Cathy, this trip never would have happened…so THANK YOU, Cathy!

Cathy did all the very nerve wracking legwork to get the tickets, complete with desperate emails between us.  Where should we sit???  OMG, they are SO EXPENSIVE!!!  Right field side or left field side?????  For some reason it never occurred to either of us to just exchange phone numbers.   Don’t let the $22 price on the ticket fool you, we paid DEARLY for the tickets on StubHub.  (It was worth EVERY penny, though.)

Not only did I get to meet Cathy, I also got to meet Mandie.  She met us for lunch on the Magnificent Mile.

Before the game, we sat and had a beer (or five) with Harry Caray himself.

Sadly my beloved Cardinals lost to the stinky ol’ Cubs. But on a positive note, we drank LOTS more beer, Old Style OF COURSE. (Also sadly, I regretted the last 5 beers that I drank the next morning.)

The second best part of the trip was that I got to fall in love with this goofy guy all over again. It was wonderful to have him all to myself.

This was my first time participating in Photo Story Friday!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek