This post is actually going to be about two entirely separate issues. Mostly it will be about this one: discipline and how sometimes I feel like I’m the one being punished and a little about this: Children’s haircutteries.
Issue one: This whole discipline and standing by WHAT I SAID thing comes back and bites me in the arse more often than not. In my head, I hear that sarcastic voice of mine taunting, “Newsflash! Parenting requires sacrifice and it’s often inconvenient!”
I KNOW.
As soon as I set the limits and “or elses” for Carson, I know, I KNOW, that we’re headed down a slippery, yet sharp and jagged slope. Most likely we end up at the bottom of the cliff, both mildly injured and near tears.
I took Carson to get a haircut at a place that specializes in children’s haircuts. It’s the type of place where instead of regular seats, kids can pick to sit in a race car or fire truck…, they get to watch a video during the haircut, and they get a balloon when they’re all done. Fun! What’s NOT to like about a place like this if you’re two??? I specifically chose this place because we’ve been twice before and Carson hasn’t thrown a fit or cried. It seemed logical to go back, right?
“Newsflash dumbass! Logic and toddler are incompatible words! FAIL.”
I KNOW.
I had an extensive talk with Carson about what would happen WHEN he was a good boy and got his haircut. I promised a trip to the holy land of Target. He LOVES Target (and Meijer), so I figured that it would be a great reward AND I could get the Method shower cleaner Becky told me about or the automatic one Charming Driver told me about AND it’s right across the street. Carson was very excited at the prospect of going to Target.
Carson screamed bloody murder during the entire haircut. Of COURSE he did.
I sweated like a pig.
As we were leaving, Carson started in with the begging to go to Target. I remained silent the entire walk to the car, as Carson repeated over and over, “I ready to go Target.”
Here’s the thing. I STRONGLY considered just going ahead and going RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET to Target and saying SCREW parental responsibility JUST THIS ONCE so I could go and get the BLEEPING shower cleaner that we’re completely out of and we have guests coming on Friday and now I’ll just waste the VERY EXPENSIVE gas having to COME BACK LATER. I didn’t want to discipline him this time. I WANTED TO GO TO TARGET. *pouts*
“Newsflash lady! You’re the parent. Do your job and PARENT.”
I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. Alright.
I decided that since I had said that we’d go to Target ONLY if he made good choices while getting his haircut and he wailed the whole time, I HAD to prove my point and go home. I knew that giving in was just asking for more of the same and worse behavior in the future. Having to miss out on the NEEDED trip to Target pissed me off because I shouldn’t have used that as a reward in the first place!
GAH! I need to go back and read some of my child behavior modification stuff from the two million hours of inservice I sat through while working in the schools.
Issue the second: Where do they find the people to work in such a thankless environment as a children’s haircut shop? I know Carson is not the ONLY kid throw a conniption fit, so I can only imagine the sheer hell of cutting these little tyrants’ hair.
He is pretty cute with his new, Target-free haircut.
PICTURE REMOVED
at the rate Im going my daughters first haircut will be before her first homecoming dance in high school.
that said Im getting pretty damn crafty with chicken shears.
MizFit’s lastest post..I love you for all the wrong reasons.
I had a really good comment all written out in my head, but then I was distracted by cuteness and I lost it.
Maria’s lastest post..I think Unassisted Homebirth is irresponsible.
last time we went to one of those awful places PK got a uneven wack job from a 18 year old girl with a hangover. Don’t go to those places on Saturday morning. that’s your warning.
designHER Momma’s lastest post..It’s only her 3rd word…
Get his Daddy to cut his hair not only saving money but allowing you a little free time to head to Target.
There now isn’t everyone happy.
WM’s lastest post..Ok lets just clear this up right now…
Target love at this age? You start em young!
slynnro’s lastest post..Teacher is Student.
My boys call Target “the cookie store.” Since that’s where they get a cookie if the comply with my every wish….
I said I would never do that.
But I do it.
Does it make me feel better that I follow through on NO COOKIE if things don’t go well?
YUP.
Does it make me feel great that there are cookies involved in the first place?
NOPE.
Being the Mom really sucks sometimes.
Slacker Mama had a GREAT idea, though! Keep that one in your back pocket!
And, your boy looks handsome.
VDog’s lastest post..Wordless Geek
Madness is a BAD MOM and is ONLY admitting that because she had a LONG HARD DAY at a job she now HATES and is WELL on her way to DRUNK.
With that said ..
Madness has always ended up “feeling bad” for the CHILD and thus BREAKING DOWN and NOT followed thru with said threats..discipline..whatever u call it.
Thus…
Madness is the Momma of Five Brats.
HA!
ha ha ha
HA!
Madness’s lastest post..Madness knows it sucks … she knows
He looks adorable! What a great pic. I am CONSTANTLY amazed at how hard discipline is! It’s hard to figure out what works, it’s hard to be consistent, it’s hard to follow-through….it’s hard work, people who don’t know!!!! I guess it was more of a surprise for me because I have a Psych degree and had the big-headed thought that I would know how to handle stuff. Ha! Hahahahaha!!
Good for you… I have been exactly where you are, not over a haircut but over behavior at a friend’s house. It is hard to make those sacrifices.. but in my heart, I have to believe that our kids are better for us having a backbone.. they learn that we mean what we say, and although they may fuss about.. in the long run.. I think we all win.
It isn’t easy at all.. so kudos for sticking to your guns!
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Sometimes it sucks to be the grown up…cute haircut, even with a conniption:)
Nap Warden’s lastest post..Award, Meme, Award, Award
I find myself wanting to give in, as well. Some days you’re just too tired to care! But you’re right, unfortunately, being responsible is definitely NOT fun!
[...] The haircut that cost me a trip to Target [...]
I applaud you for you are a better woman than I.
I am really horrible at following through with consequences and as a result, I’m sure my kids are going to be sociopaths (JOKE! That’s a JOKE, God. ***nervously throws salt over shoulder***)
However, I do LIKE Sarcastic Mom’s duct tape idea.
That just could work…
San Diego Momma’s lastest post..The Phoenix
Blahh in the good old days our moms would have gone to Target anyway and made us stay in the car by ourselves.
Just this week I resolved to not giving in when standards are set. Because she does what I want for the 10 minutes, gets rewarded and then goes back to the original behavior.
I told her she was going to start loosing things instead of gaining them. Which caused very wide eyes.
Melizzard’s lastest post..Dog Days…
I know it was hard, but you did the right thing. Kudos to you!
midlifemommy’s lastest post..Eyes to the East, Feet Planted Firmly in the West
I understand your woes, honey. I took my 23 month old to get HIS hair cut yesterday and he threw a fit and the lady bushwhacked him. The cut is so bad, I cried. My beautiful baby has a lopsided crooked mullet with bangs that are simultaneously 2 inches AND 2.5 inches too short. Figure that one out.
*sigh* I am going to learn to cut hair myself, damn it.
Sometimes standing your ground sucks. Good job sticking to it anyway! The haircut looks adorable.
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You are a strong woman.
I think the people who cut children’s hair must be saints. Last time Lovebug got a haircut he whined the entire time – and his whine is VERY annoying – and the woman sincerely praised his behavior to me. I shudder to think of what the other kids must be like then.
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I guess it’s kind of redundant to say “been there, done that,” but I have. Today, in fact. The bit about the screaming in the car? Check. Me sweating like a pig? Check. Knowing it’s the right thing to do, but wanting to just take the easy road and go to the freaking {Target} Dollar Store? Check.
Oh, and one more thing? You get those “Newsflash, DUMBASS” messages too? And here I thought I was the only one…
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OMG so funny. GOOD JOB,though. What you did, not giving him the Target Reward, is setting yourself up for success. This is the exact moment where the child/parent relationship is either solidified or breaks down. Parents who set up rules and boundaries, only to allow them to be broken, get teenagers who don’t follow rules, break curfew without fear of punishment, and basically push their parents around. As a teen, I broke rules too but I always knew that I’d face punishment if I did it. You did the right thing, sistah!
I am watching and learning. How to parent, a guide by bloggers. Can we start the book proposal now?
Funny, I just gave Jonah his first “haircut” today (blog post coming as soon as I can get a picture). Had no idea what I was doing, not sure it was such a good idea, definitely hard to hit a moving target without drawing blood, biding time before I can get him to a professional so he can have a cut worthy of his good looks…
Julie @ the calm before the stork’s lastest post..al pacino’s excellent day
Most of the kids don’t like to cut their hair. Interesting post.
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I think that my oldest’s first word was Target. I love theTarget, and I miss the Meijers….. Wish they had one near us! I love that you give yourself pep talks. I don’t feel so alone anymore.
As for the haircuts…I gave up on trying to take her to get her haircut. TO keep the mullet fairy away, I’ve been trimming it myself. Hope I haven’t scarred her for life… then again she’s only 2- so if she hasn’t been scarred yet- I have time.
erin’s lastest post..Happier
YAY YOU! If everyone were as effective in their parenting, do you know how much better this world would be??
Do you??
I KNOW!
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[...] I looked back at my previous few posts and noticed that I’ve talked a lot about Carson and his normal, yet disturbing toddler behavior. [...]