And we’re off with a thud | Playgroups are No Place For Children

August 18, 2008 | Filed in: Little Monkeys, Mommydom

So, yeah. Today was our very first day of “preschool.” I enrolled Carson and Ella in a Parent-Infant-Toddler program that meets once weekly, and the “Parent” part means that I get to go WITH them to school.

Thank GOD it’s only once a week.

A. Freaking. Men.

I’m sitting here, typing this through tears of anger and disappointment. Carson’s behavior was so terrible today that the thought of having to go back next Monday makes me sick. I know that the other moms in the group felt for me, several were very kind and said things to me to try and make me feel better, but I still feel like his behavior is a reflection of ME.

Since Carson was five months old, we’ve been going to story times at various libraries. And since the very beginning, he has resisted doing anything resembling “circle time” or it’s components known as “singing” and “generally NOT acting like an asshole.”

I was really hoping that somehow today would be different, despite his repeated past behavior. Driving to school this morning, I tried to be hopeful that the newness of going to school would be the saving grace for Carson today. I figured that a nuclear meltdown was more likely to happen next week when he realized what school actually entailed.

The morning started well with free-play. When it came time for circle time, though, he was the ONLY child who screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Finally I put him in the corner and swore under my breath, told him that he WOULD shut the f*ck up be quiet and they if he didn’t I’d sell him on ebay take away his TV for the day. Eventually he was quiet, but refused to even sit in the circle. I figured that this would be the worst of it, since he seems to despise circle time. Oh no, no. At gross motor time, he flipped out because he didn’t want to play with any of the toys offered. Apparently they were covered in fire-breathing dragons? He screamed some more as I tensed every muscle in my body in an attempt to not cry in front of the other moms.

I hate that everyone’s first impression of Carson (and subsequently ME) was as a crying, whining, bratty, difficult, screaming kid. I hate that I told the other moms that this was often times his typical behavior, failing to mention the times that he is wonderful and loving and a pure joy to be around. I hate that this was just the first week, and knowing his history, I don’t feel confident that he’ll improve.

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I so feel your pain. My 3rd and final child graduated from preschool in the spring. Over the years I have had many a tense parent-child activity moment…the Kindermusik class where I was the only parent w/o a child on my lap, the storytime at the library where I had to chase my son out of the room around tables and he thought it was a game(!), the playgroup where I tried to help him do something and he screamed “don’t touch me!” And my older two had their moments as well. I never had the compliant, do as your told child. My oldest and youngest are/were a handful. The middle child is compliant to a point but she will not participate in class which is another issue.

Parenting…once you finish one phase of behavior, just get ready for the next phase to strike.

By the way when your child goes to preschool without you, you will be surprised at his behavior. I think my kids acted up because they sensed that I was a nervous wreck in group activities. My children did very well in preschool w/o me.

Mom on the Run’s lastest post..I Have New Found Respect for Single Moms

Oh he’ll get better at it! He’s still so little. And most of the other moms have probably been there and don’t judge you. Probably just glad it wasn’t their kid this time!

Oh kids are shits, aren’t they?

amy’s lastest post..The Most Grossest

I think the other mothers will probably be understanding. We all have moments with our children. This was a new thing. Hopefully he will warm up to it soon. I know I try to give other parents and their children the benefit of the doubt…especially the first time. It will be OK!

Mommy Daisy’s lastest post..Winner 2.0

They don’t call them the terrible twos for nothing!

He’s so young still, if he were a little older you could reason with him (ahem…bribe him) with something he really enjoys if he sits quietly and participates at ’school’.

I know one thing for sure. The less attention his bad behavior gets him, the less fun it will be for him to misbehave. So….even though you’re feeling stressed, stay as calm and as indifferent as possible.

Don’t I make it sound so easy?!

Have the T-Shirt’s lastest post..Indy Grows Up - Again

Oh dear. That does sound stressful. If it were me I’d just be thinking that it would probably be ME next week. lol
Maybe he will get better! And I think all moms know, without saying, that he is a joy many times.

Devan’s lastest post..TMI Monday

I’m so sorry. I haven’t dealt with this yet, since Claire’s only 15 months old, but I have a feeling I will. She’s just so damn stubborn.
And it’s like you said, the other mothers FELT for you. They don’t have perfect kids. They know what it’s like when they lose their shit in public.
I’m no help. Just wanted to say, I’m sorry.

Cori’s lastest post..Because I can’t make a decision by myself.

Oh suck. That just sucks!
My son HATES circle time too, he just keeps leaving. While I smile and clap and sing kiddo songs by myself. So awkward!
I’m sorry.

P.S. I love your blog, if that brings you any kind of little tiny lifting of the spirit? No? Okay, I’ll try again another day…

Oh I feel your pain. My little bundle of joy has pulled that number more than once (more like all the time) If everyone else is sitting he is running, if everyone is running he is sitting in the way. God help you if you try to move him. I always feel like the biggest loser and want to fall into a hole. Just remind yourself we have all been there and it feels much worse to you than it looks to others.

I’m currently writing my blog post about our first day back at preschool. Believe me when I say I understand what you’re going through - I totally do, and I’m not sure what good that will do you except offer some comfort, as it does me, to know you are not alone in this experience.

We only had a brief orientation today - but even then I could sense Miss E’s tell tale strop coming on and we said our goodbyes before she had a chance to unleash it in front of everyone.

Annie’s lastest post..Dear Fay

DD has repeated done exactly the same thing to me. I often find myself wishing I could shrink down small enough to crawl into my own purse and hide.

WORST part? When I say fine, if that is your attitude, we don’t need to go back. She throws a tantrum because she WANTS to go back! WTF?? If you loved it so much, why in the heck did you act as if we were torturing you??

Lucky, for me, DS is much calmer, when he doesn’t want to participate he just claws at my legs quietly while trying to climb up my body and get under my shirt and hide (all 3ft tall three year old boy).

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Unfortunately, I don’t have any pearls of wisdom to offer, but I’m thinking of you and this too shall pass.

Amy in Ohio’s lastest post..Now we’re cooking

Duh, this bad time shall pass, not my thinking of you shall pass. I’m going back to bed.

Amy in Ohio’s lastest post..Now we’re cooking

Screw it. Go have a beer or a mojito on me.

NORMALLY, I would be the one blowing sunshine and rainbows and “he’ll get better about it, just love him through it.” Not today.

Go have a drink or two.

I’ll be thinking of you tonight as I have one after soccer practice.

Auburn Gal Always’s lastest post..Mr Nashville is on his way

It. will. get. better.

Burgh Baby’s lastest post..Sweetly Sympathetic

Aw, man. That just sucks.

We’ve been going through some massive misbehaving and tantrum-ing on the part of my 4-year-old, so I can sympathize with your plight so well.

I have found that threats of selling to the gypsies are far more successful compared to eBay…

Just sayin…

Slacker Mama’s lastest post..four

This is going to be me, I know it. I am so afraid that since my kids aren’t in any sort of daycare environment, come preschool time, I am screwed. I am officially scheduling more play dates that involve circles stat!

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Oh honey, I feel your pain. My stepson (now was like that form the age of 18 months to the age of about 4 or so wherever I brought him. He didn’t want to do what he was “supposed” to do or what others wanted him to do, he always wanted whatever was off limits and he was off the wall crazy. It’s hard, I know, but he will get through this stage. And the less upset you get, the better. It is extremely difficult to remain calm and cool in these stressful situations, but the more you freak out, the more he will freak out. Screw all the other mommies and don’t worry about what they think. You’re a great mom and you just need to get him comfortable with preschool–he’s the focus, not them.

Good luck next week, I hope it is better for you!

Petra aka The Wise (*Young*) Mommy’s lastest post..The Turkey Monster

The moms knew where you were coming from so don’t stress it. And if they didn’t and judged you badly, well that is their problem not yours. They will be the ones missing out on a friendship for themselves or for their children…the moms there that would be worth their salt would look past it and see that it was just an off day for you guys.

Sandy’s lastest post..Playtime is Over

Dude, this really sucks. But think of it this way, he can only go up from here, right??? RIGHT??!!! No one will remember his fits next month, so let it go.

Shelly’s lastest post..An Actual Letter I Sent

He’ll get better at it. He will. Of course, he may be 14 and the hormones kicking in may be what does it, but he WILL get better.

lceel’s lastest post..David’s Past Lives - Part 9

Sorry hun. (((HUGS)))

VDog’s lastest post..Guy Smiley

I’ve JUST NOW realized that Porter is different from other kids. He’d never do circle time. He wasn’t into doing things with a group.

He was a preemie, so it was easy to blame it on that for a while, and then on social immaturity. Now that he’s 10 and has a little more socialization, it’s occurred to me that he learns and processes things differently.

I don’t know why I didn’t figure that out sooner, but I’m no teacher.

I think back to all the soccer games where he cried and sat on the sidelines with Naked Baby and want to kick myself for being mad and embarrassed.

Now I’m trying to go with it, by purchasing large quantities of things he loves, like pullies and wires and baking soda and vinegar.

These kids - they’re HARD. I feel for you in circle time - been there. Maybe he’ll be like Drew and be a rule follower. Or maybe he’ll be Porter, and be a different drummer type.

I just wish I’d caught on sooner.

Anne Glamore’s lastest post..My School Rocks Even More

We’re thudding here too, and it’s just the 45 minute intro day of kindergarten. I’m freaked out and not even ready to write a post about it yet. Uggghhh.

Laurin’s lastest post..The Best Frozen Yogurt You Might Never Freeze

it’s because you are there. 100%
it will be totally different when he’s on his own. trust me.

It’ll get better.
Repeat after me:
My child’s behavior is not a reflection of me. How I respond is a reflection of me.

KEEP BELIEVING

All I can say is that I feel for you. We’ve been there, I remember the looks and the feeling of wanting to dig a hole in the floor and just be swallowed up.

My son was kicked out of mother’s day out at two and many other mothers switched their gymboree classes so that we had the luxury of attending completely alone when he was one.

Here’s a big ole virtual hug for you just to let you know you aren’t the only one to ever go through that and to know that it does get better.

Andria’s lastest post..I’m on Hiatus

You are not a shitty parent just because your kid flipped out.

I’ve been there, and wouldn’t think any less of you in that situation. In fact, I’d feel bad for you knowing how horrible you were probably feeling.

It will get better…and I echo the comment above that he’ll do better when you’re not there. They save their shittiest behavior for mommy. My kids are angels without me. Their teachers absolutely love them. BUT when it’s just me, they are so evil some days I have all I can do to keep from selling them to gypsies.

MommyCosm’s lastest post..Pull ups at bed time

Awww, dude! That SUCKS! Is it worth it, really? Can you just not bother? I’m so sorry for you!

Mr Lady’s lastest post..I’m Still Not Exactly Sure Where I Was Going With This

I didn’t read the other comments but my boys were like this at his age too. He’ll get over it sooner or later.

The teacher at the time told me to ignore him and let him play what ever he wanted. Amazingly it worked wonders. He actually learned the songs, etc. even from across the room. He was paying attention, but on his OWN terms. I know it is really.really hard but by the time kindergarten rolls around he’ll be fine. Just keep giving him these opportunities to observe and learn and he will come around.

If you don’t take him back he wins. All you have to do is be willing to go one longer than his tantrums and you win. Go next week. You will be happy that you did, eventually.

Headless Mom’s lastest post..WOMM- Hair, Week 2

As someone who is almost always “that mom” I can sympathize. It does get better - some kids need more time to warm up to new situations.

Also, is there any class you can put him in where you aren’t there? I know that Cordy acts worse when I’m present - once I’m gone she tends to listen and behave for others.

Christina’s lastest post..There Are No Rainbows and Unicorns Here

OH, I am so sorry that happened! And I have totally been there! My kid is THAT KID - the one who throws fits everywhere we go. Daycare drop off is a COMPLETE NIGHTMARE each and every time he goes. And yes, I have been the mom that cried in the middle of class in front of all the preschoolers because he was being a complete sh*t. And I was also the mom who wrestled with her son so fiercely to get him untangled from my leg that all of the buttons came undone on my shirt and I was too incensed to notice EVEN WHEN I walked out in the hallway and into one of the dads there. I think my boob was pretty much in the guy’s face. So it’s not just you!!!!

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Oh yeah, I think it’s because you’re there too. Carter is a screaming tyrant some mornings when I drop him off at daycare, and almost 5 seconds after I close the door and he can no longer see me, he’s sweet as can be.

Little shit.

Oh Jen that really sucks!

All I can say is we’ve all been there and the other moms have too else they woudln’t have been so supportive.

Hope next week’s better.

Don Mills Diva’s lastest post..Diva’s guide to fall’s fashion must-haves

I’m at work and don’t have time to read all of the current comments until later - BUT I can SO relate to this and I feel the need to comment now.

My three year old has some major issues with change and I often find myself trying to diffuse a melt down as strangers watch (with sympathy? with horror? with relief that it’s not their child? - who knows).

He is just hard wired to resist change and until he matures and learns how to handle these feelings more “productively” I will just have to put up with a lot of grappling with him in public. Doesn’t help that he looks like a 5 year old and is so strong that he can almost overpower me now (ALMOST).

This probably won’t change for a long time because he has delayed speech and as a result tends to be really young for his age (if that makes sense). The anxious behavior fills me with worry for his future and I often have visions of that oldest son in Parenthood having to be sent to “special school” because he couldn’t handle the regular public school. But whatever - I’m coming to terms with a lot of that since he started a preschool program at age two to work on the speech delays.

Okay - so that brings me to my point (sorry for all of the background info). Like most public school programs, parents are not allowed in his classroom. This was terrifying (for both of us) the first day I left him since I had never left him anywhere other than his beloved daycare before. I basically abandoned him. But after a few weeks of adjustment he was like a new boy. I have monthly meetings with his teacher and she told me that he went from two days of crying to just crying when it was time to leave (??) to loving school and participating in all group activites willingly - regardless of whether he was expecting a change or not.

So the actual POINT (sorry again - so many words!) is that he does much better in accepting new structure when I am not there. New people are in charge and he adapts to their rules. When I am there - he falls back on all of the bad pattern behavior that I’ve been facilitating since he was born (hey - he’s my first - I made mistakes).

I am the last person to give anyone else parenting advice - but you may want to consider a different school setting for him if he doesn’t adjust to the new rules. He may need an environment without any familiar triggers (you) for the frustrating pattern behavior.

But of course - he’s really young and it was your FIRST time at school - so he may just need a little time.

And more importantly - I just wanted you to know that aside from all of my armchair psychology BS - I really do sympathize with you! I know - it’s hard.

Kate’s lastest post..I’m Having a Party and Everyone’s Invited

oh honey, i have been “that mom” too. and worse.

one of mine was the kid who bit other kids, slugged ‘em or hid under the table screaming when it was carpool time.

so repeat after me: this too shall pass.

the planet of janet’s lastest post..Fun Monday: the answer me this edition

Big hugs! It’s definitely hard. But, I bet part of it is bc you were there. They ALWAYS behave better when the parents aren’t around.

Hopefully it’ll get better.

Lori’s lastest post..Um, your headlights are on

Okay- kind of embarrassed about how long my comment was. I think it was longer than your post…

Kate’s lastest post..I’m Having a Party and Everyone’s Invited

Oh, gosh, that sounds so impossibly difficult. My child is only nine months old, so I unfortunately do not have any experiential advice to offer you. All I can think to say that has any chance of helping is to maybe try to take a deep breath. Try to think of it for what it was: one day. Every day is a new one. This is a brand new experience for both of you (I know that the circle time, per se, is not brand new for him, but the whole school thing presumably is). Chances are that you’ll both figure this out with time. Odds are in your favor that whatever he throws at them, it is not the worst that the teachers have seen. And you never know what nightmarish embarrassing behavior those other mothers are experiencing in other times and places; I bet many of them have been in your shoes and are more understanding than you think.

But if none of that helps, ignore me completely. Like I said, I can’t speak from experience. But I really hope the next day there goes better for you both. Hugs.

Feather Nester’s lastest post..The Dam in Pennsylvania

I’m so, so sorry to hear about your terrible day. (((hugs)))

Be patient. Introduce him slowly. Be consistent and hang in there - this time period really will pass.

And don’t worry about the other moms. I’m sure they could see your distress and I’m quite certain they felt for you - what mom of a two-year hasn’t experienced the meltdown before?

Write From Karen’s lastest post..Marriage - For Real

Sending hugs!!

They are always ALWAYS worse when we’re around. Also, maybe he’d do well in a montessori, or other child-directed environment? Either way, I feel your pain. I HATE when Q acts out because I do so strongly feel it’s a reflection on me. At least Carson’s still at an agewhere such behavior is generally refarded as ‘normal’ if not acceptable.

McMama’s lastest post..The Long Road [Flickr]

I am feeling you here. My little guy is pretty stubborn and doesn’t like to have ‘directed’ play. Hopefully he’ll get over it soon. And if it had been me in that room with you, I would not have been judging, I would have been praying for you, and feeling bad for you. Because that is an awful feeling to have everyone looking at you. But, that doesn’t mean I’d find it easy to go back next week!

Mary’s lastest post..Cars.

Believe me, I feel ya. Dropping my daughter of at Kindergarten today, she was the ONLY ONE clinging and crying and acting like school was Hell and the teacher was the Devil.

All the other kids lined up and waved at their parents. One of her little friends even came and held her hand, but still my child screamed her head off. It was quite a spectacle, and I’m very sure it will continue for at least a week. Do I have an excuse to drink a bottle of wine, now?

Oh, I’m so sorry.

My three year old is similar. Actually pulled that at Music Together and we ended up leaving so that I could talk to him. He was embarrassed wen we came back in and his behavior improved a bit but nothing major.
It stinks. I hate feeling like the other moms are just staring and thinking, “Thank GOD that’s not my kid!”

It will get better!

Oh, you poor thing. What a rough day!

AndreAnna’s lastest post..I’m an Olympic….Nothing

I’ve been taking my kids to the baby and me type classes since they were infants, and have seen plenty of children react this way to “school”. I’d go so far as to say it’s completely NORMAL and even EXPECTED that at least one or two children are going to respond that way. It’s always worse in the beginning of the year… soon the child adjusts and then that parent absolutely BEAMS. =)

Stick with it, and know all of us (and the other moms there too) have been there and WILL BE there again too.

You actually did them a favor- you made them feel relieved, in only for a short time, that their own kid wasn’t doing the same…. =)

Marie Green’s lastest post..In Which My Baby Itch Gets… More Itchy

Oh honey, how I wish I were giving condolences without ever having been there. Aidan is a NIGHTMARE in public. Well, he’s a nightmare at home too but … I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that next week goes better for you. It was 7 weeks at twice a week before Aidan stopped spitting pea soup at drop off time.

Sissy’s lastest post..Something New

My son started preschool (without me) at 2 yo. I signed up to volunteer on Fridays for an hour. After the third Friday the teacher asked me to stop volunteering!

Evidently, angel without me, terror with me. She didn’t have to ask me twice!

Hey! I had the same experience last year. We did a coop toddler school. My daughter and son (both two) attended, I had to go with them and I had to wear the baby at all times (per the rules for bringing an infant.) It was miserable for a while. My daughter’s attachment to me was not firm. She threw massive fits. Usually, my son melted down when she did. I would sweat and turn red and then the baby would cry. I felt overwhelmed and judged and frankly jealous of all the other moms with one angelic two year old.

About half way through the year, during a time out for my screaming writhing daughter, the facilitator said, something like, you are amazingly consistent with her. I burst into tears. Good times. But, you know, by the end of the year, things were going pretty well. I’m not going to say I enjoyed it often, but I made a couple of friends that I couldn’t live without now.

Anyway, not sure of my point except, you are so not alone.

anymommy’s lastest post..Struck By Lightning

Ugh. Quinn pulled sort of the same thing during one of the music classes I took him to when he was just about 2. I took him in the hallway and gave him a timeout on the bench for 2 minutes. And then - I brought him back in and the little snot Did It Again. So we went in the hallway again - and my face was beat red ‘cuz I was so embarrassed. By the time that time out was over with “sitting down time” was over and the kids were having a free-for-all with the balls. Which he loved. little snot. I still remember how embarrassed I was! How was Ella? Did she go with?
You KNOW Carson is going to be one of the best behaved boys in his regular preschool class, right? Little snots always pulling stuff when mom’s around.

Cathy’s lastest post..Well, Dad: It Could Be Worse: I could have married a Democrat.

All of the other people there deal with the same thing - toddlers are finicky creatures that way. But hang in there — they will get a chance to see Carson’s wonderful side too, it will just take a little time.

*hugs*

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Someone else touched on it as well…but could it be because you were there…? Has he ever been in a playgroup/daycare/school situation without you? Does he act the same? Just a thought. Sometimes kids overact or underact because mom’s around.

I hope it gets better!! *hug*

The Mom’s lastest post..We Miss Them Already

Recently, my then-4-year-old-now-5-year-old was having a hissy fit at our local co-op and I was having a hard time “managing” her. It must’ve been obvious how exasperated I was with her as she acted like a total asshole (thank you for being so frank and honest in your post!) because this older woman walked up to me and calmly put her hand on my arm. She said “oh hon, I KNOW it’s hard but just try to step outside of it and realize she’ll be 20 before you know it and GONE.” It made me realize that (a) I wasn’t alone in this sitch (b) that she really would be grown and gone before I knew it and (c) it wasn’t my fault. So, hon, don’t blame yourself! You obviously are a superb mom and he is a wonderful child.
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I was going to say the same thing as several others have… My kid does a great Jekyll/Hyde according to who’s there to witness it. Me? I get Hyde. Awesome.

Oh that stinks. My “middle” child (boy) started preschool last year at 2 1/2. About a month into the program he finally realized I wasn’t there with him and freaked. Then every time we went for about another 6 weeks he screamed and fussed. But once I dropped him off, he was fine and had a great time.
Change stinks for a little one. It’s so hard at 2 or 3 to sit still and pay attention. Sometimes it turns out that they plan just aren’t ready.
I hope next week is better for you. Hugs.

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Hello? I’m Heather. I lived that school situation for five years.

I say this with lots of love to commenters because I know everyone is only wants to help, but when I was told maybe Payton acted that way because I was around, it made me feel like total shit as a mom.

Yeah, some kids do show their butt a little more when mom is around, but this? Wow, this whole ginormous asshole behavior is such a different feeling and to be told he’s doing it because I was there…wow. It just hurts.

Here’s what I know about Carson:

Carson is a super smart kid. Period. Look how early he learned his letters and colors? Yep, definitely very, very smart.

Smart kids are afraid of circle time because they think “normal” and “average” are diseases you can catch by breathing the same air of “normal” people.

(They may be right)

No, seriously. I think there is something inherently uncomfortable about the masses to these super smart kids. Also, they intuitively know they are smart and want to follow their own ideas of play and fun, not someone else’s.

But still. They have to operate with the masses, no? It’ll come. It may be a slow process, but it will come. And I’m sure MUCH sooner than it did for me because you know all of these cool tricks and techniques that I didn’t know.

BTW, was he hungry? Had enough protein? You know how I am about the protein soapbox and how it cuts down on that irrational, uncontrollable asshole behavior. Do you think he needed a snack?

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Holy cow, look at that novel comment! I’m sorry. I try to avoid them and would have called, but it’s dinner time and didn’t want to interrupt you. Feel free to edit down or delete that monster of a comment.

Queen of Shake Shake’s lastest post..Curly or Straight: The Next Great Marital Debate

I too understand, although it has been years. Giggles wasn’t too keen on doing things with kids her own age, ever. She does now but that is just because of the sports. If she didn’t have to deal with them she wouldn’t. Chicken on the other hand was very uncooperative all the time, but that got better when we found out she needed glasses. (Not that I think Carson needs glasses) hopefully next week will be better. HUGS!!

Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire’s lastest post..This Monday sucks

ah gad. feel your pain, nothing is worse than feeling as if your child is losing it and all the others are fine and every Mom is staring at you. my only advice would be that there is no need for him to play with the toys offered….he doesn’t have to play with them. my daughter does the old waits her line in turn and then as soon as it is her turn she turns around from the person and says NO….but I know she wants her turn….it is infuriating. today at a bday party she did this and instead of getting upset and forcing her, i simply took the bag offered for the treasure hunt and said, ok i will do it with your sister and she eventually took the bag and went on her way. transition is hard for her and she just needs time and a different way of presenting it to her. all kids are different. you and carson will find your groove, and one day you will see another mom in the same position and you will give her the nod of support and understanding.

feener’s lastest post..Keeping house

Well Jennifer, I’d say it’s pretty obvious from your comments that you are not alone.
You’re not. I’ve known so many women who’ve quit playgroups/pre-schools/library circles etc… because they felt terrible about their kid’s behavior. All of our kids have their moments, some are more vibrant and vivacious and independent than others.
Take heart that other mom’s there were nice enough to talk to you about it, that means they understand, otherwise they would have avoided you.
I hope it gets better, I believe it will get better.
Good luck darlin’.

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I feel for you, really I do. My oldest is a little stinker anytime I am around. I take her to an hour long exercise class 1-2 times a week for toddlers. I can stay in the room or leave. She is perfect in there. It doesn’t even seem like the same child. She has never once thought twice about doing any of the activities, but if I would suggest them she would argue and fight. My MIL is says that they are completely different when the parents aren’t around. I know as a mom, I hate to admit that when you take me out of the equation that I have a perfect angel, but sometimes that is the case. Just an idea.

Lauren’s lastest post..So, what is it?

oh no! i’m sorry!!!
hopefully the moms remembered when this happened to them and didn’t judge you at all!

wish someone could’ve offered you some help/sanity.

good luck next week!

mpotter’s lastest post..things they don’t tell you

*hugs* Been there. Try to feel better about it soon, though. A lot, if not most, parents can truly relate
Devilish Southern belle’s lastest post..Wow.

To each and every one of you, thank you so much for your kind words. I DO feel better knowing I’m not the only one.

To answer a few questions…Here in New Town, IN, true Preschool doesn’t start until 3, which is why I signed up for this program. As soon as I can, I’m going to try and get him into a regular preschool without me. I KNOW he’ll do better.

Montessori really isn’t an option, unless of course, we win the lottery.

Ella did come and was a perfect angel. She is very easy, go lucky and does well in these kind of situations.

And to all the new commenters! Thank you all so much for stopping by! I wish I could respond to each of you individually, but I’d be here all night.

Oh I am so sorry. I know your pain. My eldest was always the one bouncing off the walls when he was suppose to be quiet. The one getting so crazy that someone always seemed to get hurt…the glaring eyes. OY!

As hard as it is, you have to keep with it. He’ll get better and it will be good for him. I know how hard it is. Hugs to you!!

Mrs. Schmitty’s lastest post..It Will Be Like Freaky Friday…Only It Will Be Monday

It will get better, I PROMISE! Remember I taught the program…your child isn’t the first or only one to act that way. Hugs to you!

Brandy’s lastest post..boring

Wait - did you take MY son to circle time? Sure sounds like it!

Seriously, don’t worry. Most of us have at least ONE of those kids, and totally understand. One thing you might want to consider is holding off on those experiences with him for a little while. What we found with my little screamer and overreactor was that it was all too much for his senses, and once we gave him a little extra time, everything changed. We just realized that it took him about 6 months longer than my older son to be ready for those types of experiences. Just because the schools, books, and other parents say they’re ready … sometimes the kids just aren’t.

I have learned from experience that the only time mother’s and others really look at that situation with judgment is when the kid is being a tantruming ahole and the mom does NOTHING, but just lets the terrror continue completely unchecked while acting like she thinks he is god’s gift to nature and children everywhere.

And that? Would not be you.

EVERYONE has been in that situation. EVERYONE.

Loralee’s lastest post..Weddings

omG, i’ve sooo been there! if there’s embarassment to be had, i’m usually the one who gets it. like the above commenter, i have a son with sensory issues, known as sensory processing disorder. usually new situations like the one you attended today turn out really badly for us. for my little man, it’s usually too loud, too bright, and just plain overwhelming for him. sounds like your little guy has similar stuff going on. either that, or he could just be a jerk, like you’ve said. KIDDING, of course! sorry you had a horrible time. take my advice: crawl under a rock with your kid and never go back. hahahaha

Kia’s lastest post..I Need to Get My Funny On…

I feel your pain. All four of mine, on so many occasions, would act like Satan spawn in some public group thing, it made me wish they knew what a nasty mean mom I am and that they don’t usually misbehave. But, you know, just in PUBLIC.

But I know, you want to wave a big red flag that says, “seriously! my kid isn’t always a huge asshole!”

And, call me a quitter, but some of the “extra” things, like toddler reading time at the library or something like that, if they were psychotic brats more once, we didn’t go back. It was too much misery to keep dragging a kid who was determined to misbehave, so they got 2 strikes and we stayed our asses home.

Which probably qualifies me for some suckass, lazy mom award but when the kid is awful, they don’t get to do fun shit anymore with me dragging their carcass all over. DONE.

I know the trepidation with which you fear the next group thing, hopefully it will be much more smotth - I will cross my fingers for you!

Sunshine’s lastest post..Drunk People Should Not Decide Policy…Just Sayin’

Is there a MDO program near you? Because my son is a LOT like Carson. At Little Gym? He never once stayed with the group. At Kindermusik? He lasted 10 minutes before he wanted to run amok. Same thing with library story time. They are 2.5 year old boys. Their attention span is 0. But, I think MDO really did help both he and I last year. I needed that time off, and he needed to learn without me needling.

Anglophile Football Fanatic’s lastest post..Holly’s Method of Global Shopping Domination (HMoGSD)

Whoa I have no wonderful words of wisdom. Good luck next week. Maybe continued repetition will help. I know, you really want some advice, yeah? Okay, don’t beg me…

Try to prep him ahead of time, like 2 days beforehand, then one day beforehand, then 12 hours ahead, then 3 hours ahead, then in the car, then at the door, then as he hangs up his coat…. Tell him how good he’s going to be, you just know it! And how when he’s good he’ll get [fill in reward here]. And you know how he can do it! And ask him, what will you do at circle time? How will you feel? What if you don’t want to go to circle time, what will you do? How will you act? I mean it, go over it with him more than they prepped OJ about the black glove. If he sees himself being a good boy, he’s more likely to succeed. Well, anyway, that’s the only consistent success I’ve ever had with my kids.

Half the time as I’m walking out of Wal-Mart, I’m cursing myself, saying, “Why didn’t I prep the kids in the van before coming inside???”

Texan Mama’s lastest post..Kudos

I just wrote a post re: boy tantrums. Seriously.
I can’t tell you what to do, but what has worked for us is total ignoring. NOT ignoring the behaviour, really, but simply picking the child up at the FIRST sign of trouble, getting in the car, and going home. No cajoling. No bribes. No begging. We’ve hauled ass out of supermarkets, restaurants, and playdates. But we’ve only had to do it once per place. After that, he knew. Mummy is not fooling around. If I pull that shit, she will not let me get away with it.
Good luck!!

Tammy’s lastest post..What are little boys made of?

yeah so we are buying a new construction house next month and i took me 3 year old to finally get to go in and see it. she screamed like i was sticking pins in her. i’m sure the rest of the neighborhood can’t wait until we move in. i told the lady that was letting us in “she’s not usually like this”, (which she is not), but doesnt every mom of a wild screaming beast say that? bah! you’re not alone, mama.

britt’s lastest post..is this child negligence???

You poor thing! I know it won’t really help to say this, but I bet he would do better with you not there.

When I took my oldest (she had JUST turned 2 at the times) to our pre-school to tour the program and try to get her into the program, she threw a major fit. Right there in front of the Director. I thought for sure that they would not take her. But they did. And she was fine. As long as I wasn’t in the room. She is just that kind of girl.

Good luck! I’m sure that it will get better. You could also try to make him more comfortable with pre-school by letting him know exactly what they are going to do. If you want to take it this far you could even have a little mini circle time at home so that he could practice.

Lisa’s lastest post..

playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren