This situation of which I’m going to describe is PURELY hypothetical. Not one ounce of truth to it, no siree. None whatsoever. *fingers crossed behind my back*
So tell me, what would you do if, say, you were on a walk with your (two) kids in an adjoining neighborhood and you suddenly had the most terrible, all-consuming itch.
The itch is in the upper crotch region, not to be confused with the lower crotch region-which obviously if you’re itching “down there” you might want to see a DOCTOR.
Anyway, this upper crotch region itch is a really, really itchy itch. It itches so much you can barely walk. It itches so much you feel like if you don’t scratch it, you’ll lose your mind.
Keep this in mind, you’re not in your neighborhood. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll see anyone you know. Even if you did see someone, most likely you’d never see them again. Also, it’s early in the morning, but not so early that there are lots of people driving by heading for work, kids have already left for school. Basically, it looks as if nobody even knows you’re there.
But also keep in mind the fact that it’s your CROTCH that itches and to scratch it looks incredibly nasty to the average Joe who happens to witness such an act.
Do you get in there and scratch away, right there on the street, trying to act like nothing’s amiss as you attempt to continue pushing your double stroller while getting after that itch?
Or do you suck it up and continue walking while thinking non-itchy and non-scratchy thoughts?
WHAT do you DO????
I’m just curious in case this ever happens to me. Also, I’m just collecting this information for a book I’m writing on survival skills in the suburbs. Um. Yeah.