I’ve been trying to write these words for days and haven’t been able to form my muddled and numb thoughts into sentences. In a very short amount of time, my life has been completely turned upside down. I vacillate between intense woeful crying jags to sheer, bitter rage where I want to hit someone.
Tate has been transferred AGAIN.
We are moving to Tennessee.
I feel bitterly angry that I allowed myself to finally feel at home someplace. In the ten years that I have been with Tate, we have moved at every request of the company. For me, I moved begrudgingly and suspiciously and have watched over my shoulder and held my breath waiting for his company to call with our next move.
This time, though, I allowed myself to dream what it would be like to raise my children here, in THIS place. I allowed myself to breathe after ten years. I immersed ourselves into this town and embraced all it had to offer. We have made friends and we have made plans. We have made a life and a home here in Indiana. Never once had it occurred to me that I shouldn’t root myself and branch out and allow myself that hope of home.
I feel bruised and numb all at the same time.
Right now I have no desire to write. My mind swirls with nothing except relocation companies, mortgages, real estate, and moving vans. I don’t know if I’m taking a blogging hiatus for awhile or if the desire to write will return as I digest and stew on this information. If you’ve recently emailed me, I will reply sometime. I’m purposely ignoring my inbox because I simply do not have the power to think past myself and my family right now.
At least if we have to move, it’s to beautiful Tennessee and luckily we already root for the right team.
And you want to know something funny? I just got my Indiana driver’s license last week. I’m supposed to pick up my Indiana license plate tomorrow. [insert maniacal laughter and tears]
Secret Agent Mama
September 24, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Awwww… I’m sorry that you are having to move again; it’s so hard to do! I will be thinking good thoughts for you, Jennifer.
Secret Agent Mama´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday
Sandy
September 24, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I have one question…are they at least giving him a big fat raise??? I mean, to ask you to keep moving, especially since you JUST moved, they should compensate you guys! Maybe give you the money to buy your house!!!
Just a thought…
Sandy´s lastest post..The floodwaters around me…
mpotter
September 24, 2008 at 12:23 pm
what a bummer. i’m sorry. & i loved your creative header since being in indiana, too. cute!
glad you like TN. hopefully you’ll get to stay in this place for longer than, what? 10 minutes?
best wishes!
and i hope you don’t get robbed again.
mpotter´s lastest post..status symbol?
Have the T-shirt
September 24, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Awww Geez, I’m so sorry.
I’m sure many people would say, “You’re crying about INDIANA!!??” But the area you live in is lovely and I know from what you’ve said that you’ve been very happy there.
Perhaps this will be one of those times when things work back for the best, as hard as that is to believe right now, maybe moving will turn out to be a very positive thing in some way.
How long before you go?
Have the T-shirt´s lastest post..What’s On My Mind
ali
September 24, 2008 at 2:08 pm
sending love your way, hon! i can’t even imagine moving down the street, let alone moving AGAIN.
ali´s lastest post..totally tubular…man.
Val
September 24, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Oh no! I have a great friend in Tennessee and she absolutely loves it!
Good luck and hope you can get yourself back into the writing!
Val´s lastest post..See any resemblance?
Anglophile Football Fanatic
September 24, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Oh, Jennifer. I have no words. You just got there. I understand your lack of desire to write. I saw your Twit the other day & wondered where you were driving. I’m so sorry.
Anglophile Football Fanatic´s lastest post..This Ain’t Rocket Science
Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire
Twitter: DExtraordinaire
September 24, 2008 at 5:56 pm
oh hon that totally stinks! I remember moving lots when hubby was in the military, but there you really expect it. 8 moves in 11 years. It totally sucked. Here’s hoping that this move will be the last for a long while. If you need anything…Holler.
Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire´s lastest post..Is Customer Service too much to ask for?
heather...
September 24, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Oh gosh. This totally blows. I wish I could do something for you. Margaritas?
heather…´s lastest post..The Hollywood Baby Diet
Molly's Mom
September 24, 2008 at 8:38 pm
That’s AWFUL!! I don’t even know what else to say!
Molly’s Mom´s lastest post..WW – My craftiness knows no bounds
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits]
September 24, 2008 at 9:09 pm
I grew up moving a lot so I feel your pain. Where in Tenn???
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits]´s lastest post..Amazing People
Green & Clean Mom
September 24, 2008 at 9:41 pm
That sucks. I can’t write anything else other than, that sucks.
Green & Clean Mom´s lastest post..Win a Organic Tee Shirt
dysfunctional mom
September 25, 2008 at 2:22 am
I think I would totally have a meltdown! I don’t ‘do’ change. I feel for you! I hope it turns out well.
And, you’re going to hate me, but I have to say it.
GO GATORS!
dysfunctional mom´s lastest post..If this is a dream, do NOT wake me up!
Kendra
September 25, 2008 at 9:04 am
I’m sorry you have to move. When I was growing up we move A LOT. There are pluses and minuses to it. Try to focus on the pluses. Big Hug!
Kendra´s lastest post..Always nice to know when you make the right choice.
Must Be Motherhood
September 25, 2008 at 9:27 am
What a stinker!!! I assume Tate’s company helps with the house sale, right??
We’ll miss you terribly. I’m glad you like TN, though. Shoud make it a leetle easier.
Must Be Motherhood´s lastest post..Rewind: 3.5 Weeks Ago
marty
September 25, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’m so sorry, Jennifer. I wish there was something I could do.
Maybe there is, depending on where in TN you end up. My brother is there, and is the BEST cook ever. There are no woes that a pot of his jambalaya won’t cure.
marty´s lastest post..Music to His Ears
Mary
September 25, 2008 at 10:53 am
I’m so sorry, Jennifer. It did sound like you really had settled in and found your home. I try to tell myself in hard times that SURELY, all things work toward the greater good.
Mama DB
September 25, 2008 at 11:34 am
Oh girl. I’m so sorry. Tennessee is beautiful, though I’m sure that’s no consolation. We’re in the middle of trying to sell our
museumhouse and will probably rent for a short time before making a bigger move.I hate being in limbo. And I hate scrubbing my house, Silkwood style, in order for perfect strangers to come in and peruse. But you do what you have to do, I guess.
I feel for ya. You’re very much like a military wife these days!
Mama DB´s lastest post..Get ‘em
jess
September 25, 2008 at 11:51 am
hey, i’m moving soon, too. in all that spare time of yours, can you write a blog post on how to pack up an entire house in 24 hours or less? because i need to know. thanks in advance.
wait – with a relo company, maybe you don’t have to do much manual labor?
either way…i’m thinking of you. moving sucks.
jess´s lastest post..i never said i was good at math
Sarah
September 25, 2008 at 12:56 pm
That sucks!! It seems like you just got here and now you’re leaving!! I’m so sorry to hear that!! I wish you and your fam all the best, though!
P.S. I did get your email, I’m not ignoring you…but, well, as you know…real life sucks!! I’ll get back to you soon!
Sarah´s lastest post..Did you know?
Trenches of Mommyhood
Twitter: sarahviz
September 25, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Oh Jennifer, that BLOWS. But are you sure it’s not MA? Because that would be awesome!
Hugs.
Trenches of Mommyhood´s lastest post..Extreme Rudeness: Trenches Edition
AMomTwoBoys
September 25, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Holy effing crap.
But where in Tennessee? My dad lives there, so we visit. Occasionally.
Sorry. That totally sucks.
AMomTwoBoys´s lastest post..The End of an Era
amy
Twitter: amy2boys
September 25, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I’m so sorry. It seems to me that you just changed your header to the IN one and asked us where to hang pictures on that big wall.
Well, I’m in Nashville and I’ll buy you a margarita as soon as we meet up!!
amy´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday – The Commute
Mz. Nesbit
September 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Oh honey, that’s awful. I am so sorry.
(
Mz. Nesbit´s lastest post..Oh Chad, how I love thee! What would I do with out you? Watch the boring ol’ news? blah!
the dragonfly
September 25, 2008 at 2:33 pm
As an Army wife, I move all the time. But ugh, you haven’t even been there long! At least Tennessee is (mostly) a beautiful state!
the dragonfly´s lastest post..Life Happens
Jen L.
September 25, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Oh, I’m sorry you’re going to have to move again. It’s hard to have to uproot your life like that. But at least TN is a place you like. I hope you will be happy there.
Jen L.´s lastest post..Just call me Little Miss Muffett
jen
September 25, 2008 at 4:01 pm
i want to say something to make you feel better!
all of the above comments are so thoughtful…but depressingly commiserating…
so…yippee! tennessee!
i know nothing about tennessee…but i do know that you will be fine.
take a break…we don’t need you…we like you…but we don’t need you.
your family needs you right now. take care. we’ll be here.
(and thankfully…i’ve heard…they have internet access in TN too!)
jen´s lastest post..the funnies.
Sarah
September 25, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I’m so sorry! I can’t believe you have to pick up and move again… I hope you guys will have found a permanent place by the time Carson’s in school. I would insist upon it!
Sarah´s lastest post..Currently…
Sarcastic Mom
Twitter: SarcasticMomLC
September 25, 2008 at 7:54 pm
“Never once had it occurred to me that I shouldn’t root myself and branch out and allow myself that hope of home.”
I’d say you did exactly the right thing. And you should do it every time you land, no matter how long you stay. No better way to live than that, really.
Not trying to invalidate your feelings at all, of course. Moving that far is never fun, and you didn’t want to, so that sucks mega balls.
I can tell you’ll have some neighbors who are more than happy to have you here.
Wishing you Moving Mercies to the fullest. May it be as painless as it possibly can be!
(Oh, and when you get to feeling like using email again, shoot me one and let me know where you’re going to land.)
Less whiny single parent | Playgroups are No Place For Children
September 25, 2008 at 8:10 pm
[...] you really wish wasn’t the FIRST thing people see when they happen upon your blog? Well my last ultra whiny, self-absorbed post about my descent into moving hell is just that post that I’d like to be moved down the page a [...]
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls
September 25, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Oh no! What a shock that must be, and I can only imagine how difficult, to leave someplace that you’ve begun to make into a home like this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that the move goes well – and that you find yourselves in a place at least as nice as the one you’re leaving.
Deb – Mom of 3 Girls´s lastest post..Phew, my blog is back!
Dawn
September 25, 2008 at 10:16 pm
uuuuuuuugh! please tell me they reimburse relocation?
And you’ll just be on the other side of me …. just south instead of just north…. cuz that makes a difference?
You see my blog lapses – big changes don’t always make good blog fodder cuz it’s too freaking hard to just type the screaming in yer head.
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana
Twitter: Texasholly
September 26, 2008 at 7:45 am
Oh I am soooo sorry. Ick and Ugh.
I hate moving and all those details. details. details.
I have a feeling you will like Tennessee eventually. I did. We lived in Memphis for 4 years between CA and TX during my husband’s period of never ending transfers which did finally end around year 11 of our marriage…hopefully that is in your future as well.
At least your blog address doesn’t have to change…
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana´s lastest post..An issue of space
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants
September 27, 2008 at 12:56 am
yeah, yeah, sux for you.
{kidding, I soooo feel for you}
GREAT FOR ME!!!!!! Woot Woot.
SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants´s lastest post..Fight the Frump- Baby fat & blogging butt!
Devilish Southern Belle
September 27, 2008 at 2:08 am
Awww, I am so sorry!
Mom Of 3 Girls » Blog Archive » Links and other fun stuff - 9/20/08
September 27, 2008 at 10:49 am
[...] posts over at Playgroups Are No Place For Children – first reacting to the news of an impending move, and then Jennifer’s own reaction to that post. And her discovery that single parenting [...]
Ron Rausch
September 27, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Can you say Singapore?
Ms. Changes Pants While Driving
September 27, 2008 at 7:00 pm
i have nothing to say that your over 130 commenters haven’t said. i just thought that last line there was perfect. i think we can all relate to the maniacal laughter with an increasing dose of choked back tears.
sorry you’re going through this.
Siobhan
September 28, 2008 at 11:34 am
Wow, that’s harsh. I know exactly the feelings you’re having though. There hasn’t been talk of relocating, but it is always in the forefront of my mind. My hubs’ company isn’t doing that great (they’re a global company, but just this division) and he teases me with moving talk all the time. The school district in this town is in the top 5 in the nation. I have planted my kids’ futures here. I’d be sick to my stomach if we had to move again. Cuddles to you.
Siobhan´s lastest post..Photo Hunt: View
paula
September 29, 2008 at 7:28 am
you may want to re-think rooting for UT this season, it’s ugly
although basketball is ever improving!
paula´s lastest post..little boy is growing up
Lori
September 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Goodness, that’s tough. I can’t even imagine! good luck!
Lori´s lastest post..A Camping We Went
Snack FAIL | Playgroups are No Place For Children
November 13, 2008 at 7:47 am
[...] great. Everyone is so kind and this group has really been helpful in working through some of the anger and bitterness related to this move**. I’m so glad I decided to join despite this being something completely out of my norm and [...]
When the husband’s away, the wife will spend his money | Playgroups are No Place For Children
November 19, 2008 at 7:54 am
[...] that I’m going on 6 solo days of parenting, in an increasingly crappy rental, fresh from a move that I wasn’t too jazzed about, I think I’m handling his vacation rather well. Oops, there I go, being the [...]
Returning to work after staying home with children | Playgroups are No Place For Children
November 20, 2008 at 7:04 am
[...] for the fact that we just moved, we close on our house in one week, I have ZILLIONS of things to do for the closing, once moved in [...]
Peak | Playgroups are No Place For Children
December 11, 2008 at 2:49 pm
[...] First it started with finding out we were moving. [...]
The (several) month(s) of my discontent | Playgroups are No Place For Children
January 1, 2009 at 12:05 am
[...] there’s the whole “woe is me, I moved away from my beloved Indiana” thing, too that could have contributed to my lack of holiday [...]
Checkout lines are no place for non-church attending Catholics | Playgroups are No Place For Children
August 10, 2009 at 12:03 am
[...] haven’t found the right church yet. The truth is actually that we attended one church since moving to Tennessee and didn’t like it AT ALL and on top of not liking it (AT ALL), Tate and I had to coax our [...]
Breathing with occasional gasps for air | Playgroups are No Place For Children
September 21, 2009 at 12:04 am
[...] The move. [...]