I’ve been trying to write these words for days and haven’t been able to form my muddled and numb thoughts into sentences. In a very short amount of time, my life has been completely turned upside down. I vacillate between intense woeful crying jags to sheer, bitter rage where I want to hit someone.
Tate has been transferred AGAIN.
We are moving to Tennessee.
I feel bitterly angry that I allowed myself to finally feel at home someplace. In the ten years that I have been with Tate, we have moved at every request of the company. For me, I moved begrudgingly and suspiciously and have watched over my shoulder and held my breath waiting for his company to call with our next move.
This time, though, I allowed myself to dream what it would be like to raise my children here, in THIS place. I allowed myself to breathe after ten years. I immersed ourselves into this town and embraced all it had to offer. We have made friends and we have made plans. We have made a life and a home here in Indiana. Never once had it occurred to me that I shouldn’t root myself and branch out and allow myself that hope of home.
I feel bruised and numb all at the same time.
Right now I have no desire to write. My mind swirls with nothing except relocation companies, mortgages, real estate, and moving vans. I don’t know if I’m taking a blogging hiatus for awhile or if the desire to write will return as I digest and stew on this information. If you’ve recently emailed me, I will reply sometime. I’m purposely ignoring my inbox because I simply do not have the power to think past myself and my family right now.
At least if we have to move, it’s to beautiful Tennessee and luckily we already root for the right team.
And you want to know something funny? I just got my Indiana driver’s license last week. I’m supposed to pick up my Indiana license plate tomorrow. [insert maniacal laughter and tears]
Ugh. I’m so sorry. It’s really tough to uproot the whole family like that.
Yes, TN is beautiful. I hope you guys get to stay there for a while.
HeatherPride’s lastest post..They’re BAAAAAAaaaaaack
Oh, my dear! I am SO sorry. Tennessee is beautiful, but seriously… Again?! I would hit someone. I would. I really, really would.
I’m so sorry.
GHD’s lastest post..Ready to PO-TTY… or maybe not
((((Hugs))) That sucks. Tennessee is an okay place to go though. I am praying for relocation myself, because that would mean my husband actually had a job! Keep your chin up, it’s just a new adventure! At least your kids are not in school yet, so you don’t have to transfer schools. (((hugs))) again.
The Farmers Wife’s lastest post..Keepin’ It Real!
I am not at all religious, but I like the saying “we plan, God laughs”. Maniacally, I’m guessing.
I’m sorry that you’re moving again (and omg, does that mean that you’ll have to redesign your header?!) but please stop this ‘I don’t feel like writing’ thing. I need many many more tutorials.
Marinka’s lastest post..Questions That My Son Asked Me on This Morning’s Flight from NC to NYC
I am going to have to change my header! I was thinking the tagline could say something like “on tour since 1999″ and have some sort of band kind of look…if anyone wants to make me one, that would be cool. HINT.
And as far as tutorials, what would you like to know? I’m out of material…
Noooooooooooooooooooo……….
that’s all I got. seriously sad.
DesignHER Momma’s lastest post..oh, Mexico
Ugh, I’m so sorry. I moved every three years growing up, so I know how you feel about finally feeling like you could call someplace home.
I hope you’re able to embrace Tennessee. I think the “on-tour” idea for your tag line is great!
That is really not fair. I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how it must be for you to constantly uproot your family and move. Emotionally and physically. Man. That is really rough. I’m sorry.
And I will now stop complaining about moving across town.
Kat’s lastest post..Antsy
Oh girl, I’m so sorry. I feel ya. We moved over 10 times across the country in a few years thanks to corporate relo’s.
AND! IT SUCKS A DUCK!
I won’t blow smoke up your ass too much – but at least Tennessee is pretty.
If you want, meetcha at drink-thirty.
MamaGeek’s lastest post..Apple Pi (As In 3.14159265)
Oh Jenn. I am thinking of you and your family and truly hope you can find a little brightness in the gloom.
Teri’s lastest post..Done.
OMG…..I’m so, so sorry. Will it at least be Memphis? The Red Birds (The Cardinals minor league team) plays there…
I’m just shaking my head. I just don’t see how you do it. I’m so, sorry. Hugs.
abunslife’s lastest post..Just Three Minutes
OMG! No freaking way. Oh honey, I am so so sorry. I can’t believe it. You just got there, how can you have to move already??? But we haven’t even met yet!!!!!!!!
Shelly’s lastest post..Are You There God? It’s Me, Shelly.
Oh, I am so sorry. I can only imagine the disappointment and frustration you’re feeling.
Erin’s lastest post..My Pumpkin!
i know this is a tough one for you… and i’m sending BIG hugs.
and it IS pretty there.
the planet of janet’s lastest post..The karate kid
*SQUEEEEEZE*
That’s all I got.
Miss’s lastest post..Ocean Sized Love
I’m so sorry…that’s just plain crappy.
How soon is this all going down?
Slacker Mama’s lastest post..the cat came back (just not the next day)
That really sucks – I’m sorry to hear it.
I am so sorry that you have to move, again. How utterly frustrating. My sister lived in Nashville for a couple of years and still says that it’s the nicest place that she ever lived…and not just because it was pretty, but because the people there are great too. You like country music, right??
Gail’s lastest post..Shaken Fetus Syndrome???
On the Bright side, Blissfully Domestic is having theat shindig in Nashville on the 18th of October. You’ll be closer. Check out Lotus’ post today. You DO know Lotus, right?
Sarcastic Mom.
lceel’s lastest post..One More Postponement
That truly sucks. What does he do to have to move so soon after moving AGAIN? I mean…you haven’t been in the new place that long??
I can say that TN isn’t SOO bad…I mean I did live there for 25 years of my life.
Hang in there!!
Sandy’s lastest post..To Kell…hope everything is going/went well!!!
Oh no Jennifer. I am so sorry. Offering you many virtual hugs.
But the tag line, “On tour since 1999″ is really great. Hope it all falls into place.
Aww sweetie I’m so sorry! You seemed to be enjoying IN.
Hang in there. It’ll be ok.
HUGS Let me know if you want me to send NY wine. It’s quite good in these parts.
CourtneyRyan’s lastest post..cryin’ lovin’ or leavin’
Man, I’m so sorry. It sucks harder than a Dyson to have to move across the country, and doing it that many times is just plain awful.
On the completely selfish side of things, you had better still be in Indiana around Thanksgiving so I can stalk you proper. And if not? You had be headed to the Nashville area. I might be willing to visit the other in-laws if it means another stalking opportunity. (Why yes, it is all about me and my ability to stalk peeps.)
*hugs*
Burgh Baby’s lastest post..I Want My Grandma
My husband uprooted us to TN 4 years ago. I went kicking and screaming, but it actually is a wonderful place. We’re back in MD now after 3 years there, but I do look back fondly. It’s not Chattanooga by chance, is it?
Scary Mommy’s lastest post..Imperfect Perfection
Well, as a current (and lifelong) resident of Tennessee, can I just say that we’ll be happy to have you! Moving sucks and moving consistently REALLY sucks. Hope it’s not too horrible for you, but maybe this move will be the last one. For a very long time.
Angie’s lastest post..The Happiest Place on Earth?
I’m so sorry. {{{Hugs}}}
I am going to act like I just didn’t read that!!!!!! Damn me for reading your blog today!!!! Call me when you can breathe & we will go have a drink & cry together. No more biker bars?
Heidi’s lastest post..What we should have done…
Oh Jen. I’m so sorry. Take your time-your family needs you to be ‘all there’ for this. I know that you’ll get through this (and you do too!) but I also know that it sucks to get invested somewhere and then get uprooted. Like you said, it’s at least somewhere familiar. All of us will be here, rooting you on, here for advice, or a shoulder to cry on. If I was there I would come over with chocolate! and let you vent.
Kisses, Friend!
Headless Mom’s lastest post..BFL-Week 1 (or is it week 3?)
[...] hug Jenifer. That really [...]
[...] hug Jenifer. That really [...]
Oh I’m so sorry. Being constantly uprooted has to be so hard for you all.
Erika Jurney’s lastest post..I’ve been out of the loop for a couple of decades — is there a PC term for these yet?
It’s soon. Like right now. As soon as the relo company can get it arranged, we’re going to sell our house, buy a house and move.
Ugh. I know how much moving sucks. Especially when it’s not just you and your college stuff anymore.
If it’s any comfort… I grew up with a dad subject to the whims of his company. We only had to move once, but he was out of town ALL.THE.TIME when I was young. So, at least if Tate gets to come home every night that’s a plus.
That said, it was a lot harder on my mom than on us kids I think. If it’s any consolation, your kids will be fine!
Oh, and think of all the cool bloggers you’ll get to meet in Tennessee…
Krista’s lastest post..Book: Faking Grace
I know that feeling very well. I am so, so sorry.
ptoall’s lastest post..Tar-jay
No I won’t be here at Thanksgiving. And no it’s not Nashville…but I might come visit you there! It’s only about 2 hours away…
No it’s not Chattanooga, but it’s not far from there…
We actually lived in Tennessee for four years at the beginning of Tate’s career. We loved it there.
One of the only good things about moving is the fact that it’s TN. We lived there before so at least we already have a few friends and know the area and schools.
I’m so sorry! Moving so much sucks!!
I’m only about an hour & a 1/2 or less from both Nashville and Chattanooga, so maybe now we can meet for reals.
Devan’s lastest post..Ode to my Kindle
Oh my God, Jen. When?? I am so very sorry. I can only imagine how you feel. I will be leaving my home in just a little while, too, and it is horrible. I am so so sorry.
mrs.chicken’s lastest post..Breasts On A Plane?
Oh Jennifer! I am so sorry…it is hard to make a place feel like home, so to have to leave so quickly…well, it just $ucks!
The last three moves for us have been at 23 months, 11 1/2 month, and 11 months. I was so glad to finally settle in one place once we got here. Moving that often isn’t good for anyone!
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself! I’ll be reading if you decide to come back.
Best wishes….
tommie’s lastest post..Manic Monday and a funky dream
this must be so hard for you and your family. what does tate do that they move him so much ????
the only words i can say is that at least he has a job, in this economy and all. hang in there and hope you get the will to write more.
feener’s lastest post..Firsts …
I do know all about the moving all the time. I hope that you find something to enjoy in Tennessee.
Lynette’s lastest post..Music = Love
oh no! Talk about a shock! I am so sorry.
mayberry’s lastest post..V-Motion = Junior Wii?
OMG, we must now be sworn enemies since I live in Kentucky!!
OK, I don’t even follow basketball so I couldn’t really care less.
TN really is pretty. You will love it.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with another move with 2 young kids…I can’t imagine how difficult that is, especially since you’ve found comfort in this town
I will be thinking about you in the weeks ahead and that you can eventually find peace with this move…really hard stuff.
I know its hard right now .. but try to keep your chin up. You NEVER know .. this could turn out to be the BEST.THING.EVER.
You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Love
Madness
Madness’s lastest post..How we all got HOSED and taken from behind .. and I aint talkin the GOOD kind of taken from behind EITHER
I’m so sorry. Take care.
Shauna’s lastest post..Christmas In July
I know you were loving your new state. I hate you have to leave it.
andria’s lastest post..Happy Birthday To Me
We have been with Caterpillar for 12 years and they move us (and our friends) A LOT. However, there is always such a strong Caterpillar group everywehre we move that is also so used to moving around a lot that we tend to get close FAST. Maybe Tate’s company has something like that? Lots of other transient families? A thought, althought I am sure you have already thought of that.
You will find, though, that the entire mood for your family with respect to this move will reflect what yours is. If you can feign excitement, then your kids will be excited and Tate will be excited. If you react with remorse and fear and bitterness, so will your family. I know it sucks, but I think you will find with your kids getting older now, they will have more uneasiness in this move than you realize (our kids were 2 and 3 when we moved to Canada years ago and WAY more affected than I had anticipated), so the safer and more relaxed you can make them feel (because you are eminating it yourself) the better it will go.
Not that you need to put on a happy face and not be sad, but it is what it is and I hope you can make the best of it.
Maybe you will get to meet Sarcastic Mom. and it is still not THAT far from Missouri. Easy drive anyway.
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie@ Keep Believing’s lastest post..The miracle of Gavin
I am so sorry! That totally sucks, and you have every reason to feel the way you do.
Hillary – The Queen I Am Not’s lastest post..All Things Bavarian, Except for the Italian