Have you ever had a post at the top of your page that you really wish wasn’t the FIRST thing people see when they happen upon your blog? Well my last ultra whiny, self-absorbed post about my descent into moving hell is just that post that I’d like to be moved down the page a bit.
So here I am, not exactly taking a blogging hiatus, or possibly I am. I seriously just want that last post to just move on down the page. I’m not saying, “hey I’m totally fine with this move!” I’m not fine. But I’m trying to make the best out of a lousy situation and reminding myself that 1) we’re lucky my husband has a job in this economy and 2) I NEED to be positive for my sanity’s sake and my kids’ sake (and 3) It’s not okay to be as upset as I’ve been over the loss of my dream kitchen because DUDE: GET OVER IT. It’s merely a gas cooktop, sink in the center island, double ovens kind of kitchen. SERIOUSLY, BIG DEAL. WAAAAAH.)
Moving on…(ha! Get it?? Moving? God, I’m hilarious!)
Tate left Monday to start his new job and prior to his departure I was very worried about how I was going to be able to handle my two zoo-like wild children on top of all the stress. “Ohs noes! How ever will I do it alone?! It cannot be done! It cannot be done! Woe is me.”
Writing this next sentence is probably going to condemn me to a life of vomit/tantrum/diarrhea/no sleep hell tomorrow surely, but!!! This week has been surprisingly easy.
Possibly because I know that I don’t have reinforcements showing up, I’m freakishly calm and patient with the kids. So far this week, I’ve had to take two children two and under to the BMV (B???) to get my license plate. It was the easiest trip ever and my children…behaved. Then I lost a filling in one of my teeth and had to arrange childcare and find a dentist and schedule an appointment. Everything fell into place thanks to two of my neighbors and it turned out that I hadn’t actually lost a filling.
My son has become a pogo stick, jumping up and down at every attempt to dress or undress him. Normally I’d be sweating and cursing under my breath and saying (yelling) things like, “CARSON. ENOUGH. Stop jumping right now or I’ll take away all of your trains and feed you to wolves.” There would be lots of wrinkle inducing nose scrunching and eyebrow furrowing. And eye rolling. And huffing. (There wouldn’t really be mention of being eaten by wolves. Uh. Yeah.)
But instead I find myself gentler and smiling and not allowing this annoying stage to get the worst of me. I haven’t freaked out when Ella throws her entire tray of food on my just mopped floors. My house is cleaner, the TV hasn’t babysat, and I’ve made lots of “progress” on our impending move. And oddly, despite Tate getting to socialize and eat out every night, I don’t feel resentful or overworked for being the stay-at-home parent.
I’m not sure what being a better single parent says about my parenting abilities or mental state, but I’ll take the “good mommy” me over the “BAD mommy” me anyday.
**********
I’d like to thank each of you who has offered sympathy and encouragement to me as a result of our move to Tennessee. To answer a few questions we are moving to East Tennessee, we’ve lived there before, and my husband is in management for a company and apparently he’s pretty good at his job so they keep asking him to help at other plants.
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I thought your last post was well deserved. I’m glad you’re happier in this one though. I’m also glad things are going well, but shhhhh!
Mom24@4evermom´s lastest post..It’s Popcorn Time…
By Mom24@4evermom
on 09.25.08 8:27 pm | Permalink
I think you are calmer for 2 reasons. 1) You got a lot off of your chest in the previous rant filled post, and 2) Because most parents have that overdrive function where they can just do what HAS to be done when they know that Daddy or Mommy can’t be there in a little bit for the break or backup, so we use our super calm personas and become (phone booth please) Super Parents!!!)
Amy´s lastest post..We Found Nemo, Now Give Me Back My Brain!!!
By Amy
on 09.25.08 8:39 pm | Permalink
I agree with the previous commenter, but that’s neither here nor there.
It’s funny how things work - hubs works from home and I stay at home with the kids. He’s great and he tries to help me out as much as he can during the day, but the days ALWAYS go smoother when he’s out on location or in meetings or away for business. Like you, I find myself exceptionally calm and actually accomplishing goals.
I’ve mentioned this phenomenon to others before and no one believes me, so I’m so glad you wrote this post!
April´s lastest post..Fussy Face Case.
By April
on 09.25.08 8:43 pm | Permalink
Sorry that this came as a bit of an unexpected surprise…but you should be so proud for putting it all in perspective. We have moved 3 times in the last 3 years, so I totally feel your pain. And yes, we’ll move again as of next Spring for HIS job…
Tennessee is LOVELY and I know you’ll be happy there…sending hugs and wine!
By Trishy
on 09.25.08 9:01 pm | Permalink
I’m so glad you’re having a good week!! I was less whiny during my brief single-parent time too…not sure what that’s all about!
Sarah´s lastest post..Did you know?
By Sarah
on 09.25.08 9:18 pm | Permalink
I wanted to reach through the computer and give you a big ol hug or maybe just a gallon of ice cream on your previous post but I had internet “issues”.
Every time I finally update my drivers license 2-3 months later we end up moving. Just thought I’d throw that piece of random at ya.
Hugs and Ice Cream for all!
Jean@workingmomma247´s lastest post..Thursday 13-Things I’ve Never Done
By Jean@workingmomma247
on 09.25.08 9:27 pm | Permalink
[...] So glad you're feeling better!! [...]
By :: Plain Jane Mom Blog on 09.25.08 9:53 pm | Permalink
Glad you’re having a decent week w/o Tate there. I find myself calmer as well when I know I have to last all day/night. Strange, hunh?
Cathy´s lastest post..What I Love About Him
By Cathy
on 09.25.08 9:55 pm | Permalink
I don’t know. I think the last post was absolutely positively reasonable and not at all whiney. Sometimes things just suck, even when they aren’t End of the World.
Good luck with all the preparations, and way to go with the dose of patience!
Burgh Baby´s lastest post..No! Freakin! Way!
By Burgh Baby
on 09.25.08 9:59 pm | Permalink
Yay for mental progress and behaved children!
Headless Mom´s lastest post..WOMM-Tuesday Crock Pot Edition
By Headless Mom
on 09.25.08 10:25 pm | Permalink
I want some of that Zen good mama stuff you’ve got.
kat´s lastest post..TT- Grateful
By kat
on 09.25.08 10:34 pm | Permalink
whew. glad to see you have found a little place of calm in your storm.
the planet of janet´s lastest post..Yours, mine … and oh. my. GAWD!
By the planet of janet
on 09.25.08 10:36 pm | Permalink
Yay for good mommy! Just take it, don’t question the mommy gods.
Beth´s lastest post..ballet school drop out
By Beth
on 09.25.08 10:59 pm | Permalink
Ok, here is a question…do they have to make him MOVE everytime or could they just fly him out there when they need him? I mean, you guys JUST MOVED…it seems like you could have stayed in the old place and they could have paid to fly him out there for a while…
Just a thought.
Sandy´s lastest post..The floodwaters around me…
By Sandy
on 09.26.08 7:29 am | Permalink
You rock and I am in awe of you!!
Shelly´s lastest post..Halloween PIF
By Shelly
on 09.26.08 7:33 am | Permalink
It’s just that you are stronger than you knew yourself to be. what a great moment of self-discovery for you. Well done.
lceel´s lastest post..The End’s Beginning - The Kid - Part 10
By lceel
on 09.26.08 8:10 am | Permalink
I’m the same way. When I know the hubs isn’t going to be home early enough in the evening to help me things go much smoother. Mostly, I think, because I don’t feel the stress about having to coordinate with him and I know that no one is going to come and bail me out of a bad situation.
Katia / Crazy For Trying´s lastest post..do I have to pay the plumber bill?
By Katia / Crazy For Trying
on 09.26.08 8:24 am | Permalink
First of all, you have every right to be pissy about having to move again. Especially since your kitchen sounds like it ROCKS!
Seriously though, something I’ve found in myself recently. You have to pick your battles. When those battles are HUGE, like unemployment or moving, you let go of the daily battles that are less significant in the overall picture of your life.
Ashlie- MommyCosm´s lastest post..Haiku Friday: Homework
By Ashlie- MommyCosm
on 09.26.08 8:29 am | Permalink
Your last post was fine - you were far less whiny that I would have been. But I’m glad you’re feeling better.
I think you’re doing an amazing job.
jerseygirl89´s lastest post..Ignorance Is Not Bliss
By jerseygirl89
on 09.26.08 9:00 am | Permalink
i didn’t think you were whiny. i think you were frustrated. i see a difference; but i’m glad you’ve got a positive outlook today- and i hope they continue to not meltdown for you.
littlebean is only 2 1/2 months and i’ve noticed that the weekends have caused me more stress b/c The Mr. gets so stressed… and it’s harder to keep the routine when he wants to pick her up everytime she cries. so it does make sense.
enjoy the calm you.
mpotter´s lastest post..status symbol?
By mpotter
on 09.26.08 11:12 am | Permalink
Oh, man! I just read both posts back to back, and I AM SO SORRY you guys are moving again so soon. And I am glad to hear you’re feeling a little more balanced, at least for now.
I will be wishing you well during the rest of this huge transition!
Stacy (mama-om)´s lastest post..Letting go of mine
By Stacy (mama-om)
on 09.26.08 11:27 am | Permalink
It sounds like you’re doing great! Go you!
Devan´s lastest post..Ode to my Kindle
By Devan
on 09.26.08 1:03 pm | Permalink
Whatever the reason for the zen-like feelings you have … I hope it stays for a while.
I can’t believe how fast things happened…Tate is already gone?!?!
Will you at least be able to make it to Neyland … or with the way they are playing this year, do you even want to?
Slacker Mama´s lastest post..look who….is turning two!
By Slacker Mama
on 09.26.08 1:41 pm | Permalink
Moving is a giant PIA, even if TN is mighty purdy. You’re entitled to a whiny post, I think. Keeping my fingers crossed the kids keep being sweeties and no one starts teething or the like.
Queen of Shake Shake´s lastest post..There’s an insane cross-eyed monster in my uterus. And my husband’s Mii is gay.
By Queen of Shake Shake
on 09.26.08 2:27 pm | Permalink
I’m so glad to see you are feeling better & that you are at least trying to cope. I’m proud of you Jennifer for keeping your perspective and your chin up.
Anglophile Football Fanatic´s lastest post..This Ain’t Rocket Science
By Anglophile Football Fanatic
on 09.26.08 4:04 pm | Permalink
Very glad to hear youre feeling better. Youve been in my thoughts. Indiana is sure gonna miss Hoosyer mommy SO Corny!
Love
Madness
Madness´s lastest post..How we all got HOSED and taken from behind .. and I aint talkin the GOOD kind of taken from behind EITHER
By Madness
on 09.26.08 6:05 pm | Permalink
Yes, Indiana IS going to miss Hoosyer Mommy so corny. Waaaaa!
I also don’t think your post was whiny. Just overwhelmed. I have to second you on the single parenting gig. I’m the exact same way, and it’s gotten better as time’s gone on this way. Sad, really. I’m almost more anxious on the nights when I know he’s coming home. ha ha!
Good luck with everything, Jennifer. Call or email me anytime.
Mandy´s lastest post..Oooh, something shiny!
By Mandy
on 09.26.08 8:13 pm | Permalink
Wow~ you are handling this just like anyone would~ I think it’s totally normal to feel all those emotions. You truly are doing wayyy better than I would. I am a big co-dependent baby and have lived in one city my whole life, except for college, and that was a whopping 2 hours away. And I know for a fact if we ever had to move I would be looking for the nearest bridge to jump from. You are very strong and I’m so impressed that you are holding up as well as you are! Hang in there!
amy´s lastest post..Transitions
By amy
on 09.26.08 10:50 pm | Permalink
I hope your move goes smoothly and by the way I threaten to either give them to the circus or sell them to the gypsies.
By Heather
on 09.27.08 12:15 am | Permalink
It will be OK. Things happen the way they’re supposed to happen. I have friends who live in Tennessee and love it. And just think…you can do weekend trips to Graceland, and school the kids in a proper introduction to rock and roll! And also, bad taste in decorating because Graceland’s so tacky..
By manager mom
on 09.27.08 9:43 am | Permalink
It is good to hear that you have had a relativly easy week. How long do you have until you join your husband in Knox.?
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits]´s lastest post..Parenting Scenario - What would you do?
By Shannanb aka Mommy Bits]
on 09.27.08 8:11 pm | Permalink
I agree. My days are so muc better when hubby is working. Sometimes he has night shift and then he will be home during the day the next day and expect my schdule with the kids to change just because he is around. UGH. I don’t know how you feel fro mthe move, so best wishes on that.
Thanks
By Bella
on 09.27.08 8:28 pm | Permalink
been lurking….glad things are smoothing out.
By MizFit
on 09.28.08 6:28 am | Permalink
Even though I am taking a pressure break from commenting- I had to comment:
I have been married for 10 years. In 10 years I have moved CROSS country 4 times. Why? For my husbands career. And every time I kept my mouth shut and never complained. And each time was harder and more painful than the last. But you know what? Everytime I moved….things got better for us. Sometimes financially, sometimes a better house, sometimes better friends or a better school….in some way God made it up to me. He will to you too. Hang tough. Hang in there. And ‘just fake it till you feel it’….keep smiling. That is what moms do at times like these. *hug*
Marcy Writes-The Glamorous Life!´s lastest post..This is a brilliant blog…in case you were wondering.
By Marcy Writes-The Glamorous Life!
on 09.28.08 5:22 pm | Permalink
OMG LOVE THE NEW MAST HEAD BANNER WHATEVER YOU CALL IT! LOVE IT!!!!
Love
Madness
Madness´s lastest post..BEE-ESS
By Madness
on 09.28.08 7:46 pm | Permalink
Oddly, I also do way better when I’m “single-parenting.” The worst part is the anticipation of the husband being out of town. Once he’s gone, I think I slip into this ultra-capable mode because I know no one is around to save me, and things run, strangely, like clockwork. It makes me a little nervous, too.
Feather Nester´s lastest post..Color Me Internet-Obsessed
By Feather Nester
on 09.28.08 9:03 pm | Permalink
Um…yeah…could you help a sister out and let me know what you’ve been slipping in your orange juice to make you so calm? I could use some.
Momo Fali´s lastest post..Let There Be Light, Eh?
By Momo Fali
on 09.29.08 11:17 am | Permalink
oh, i totally should have met you at the zoo or children’s museum when i had the chance! because clearly this is all abut ME. seriously, i feel for you - it’s a hard thing not to feel you can safely put down roots. somehow i think you of all people will manage and thrive. you seem to me to be one strong cookie.
sus @ wigglerooms´s lastest post..SAHM Seeks Work/Sanity Outside Home
By sus @ wigglerooms
on 09.29.08 11:55 am | Permalink
I was also surprised at how well I handled being alone when my husband had to cover a certain hurricane last month. I was very worried, but everything went fairly well.
As for East Tennessee, it’s a nice place and very beautiful. But I guess you probably know that since you lived there before… We were in Johnson City, which is almost as far east as you can go.
Meredith´s lastest post..Come Mr. D.J. song pon de replay
By Meredith
on 09.29.08 12:34 pm | Permalink