Floral galoral | Playgroups are No Place For Children

October 9, 2008 | Filed in: Huh?, Pictures, tennessee

My style of decorating tends to lean towards “Pottery Barn” or “Target,” and less “floral” or “old lady” or “kuntry.”

I also don’t care for “clashing” or “1987.”

Anyway, I think the photos of the decor in our temporary house can speak for themselves. If it gets to be too much for your eyes to handle, place a cold compress over the affected area and accept my deepest apologies. In the event that you like what you see, I’ll get you in touch with the decorator, Ethel. You have to call her before she goes out for dinner at 3 PM. She’s very easy to reach around 4 AM before her water aerobics class.

Note how I have the curtains held back with the blinds. This is a new trend in home decorating that I’m revealing here for the first time!

Um? Ew. Nice touch, though, that they added the “We Appreciate You!” That makes the fact that they mentioned condoms *shudder* so much better.

Those flowers? Yeah, they’re PLASTIC. And yes those PLASTIC flowers are planted in the ground.

I know, WOW, right??!!??

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Ouch, my eyes! I think I need that cold compress now. Hubby’s grandmother “plants” plastic flowers too.

justmylife´s lastest post..Still here…..

My Eyes! MY EYES!

AMomTwoBoys´s lastest post..Sometimes I Amaze Myself

OMG! I think an old folks home threw up in your temp house!

Please, do not flush your condoms. he he.

I’m most disturbed by the fake flowers planted in the ground. Seriously? I guess they are low maintenance!

Connie @ Young & Relentless´s lastest post..AIG….I need some answers!

Jennifer, I just want you to know that -We Appreciate You-. We really do.

Burgh Baby´s lastest post..Especially Different

Um…WOW…that’s um…just wow.

Jennifer I’m at a loss for words here. Are you sure Ethel didn’t hit her head in her water aerobics class before she decorated??

Jessi´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday

O.M.G. It looks like some kind of nightmare Tampa beach condo in 1983. Horrendous! And the calligraphy sign is unbelievable! It’s ginormous! Honestly, the bark chips are nearly as bad as the plastic flowers…nearly. How long do you have to be in this place…?

oh my. that’s special.

sarah´s lastest post..And the green grapes grow all around all around, and the green grapes grow all around!

I grew up in a house of Blue carpet and country florals, everywhere, in every room, and with wallpaper. I have no floral in my house now, I do have some paisly and a bit of nuetral foilage, but no floral. I blame my mom, the early 90’s and MAUVE

KD (A Bit Squirrelly)´s lastest post..Thankful Thursday: Week One

ha ha. Love that the sign was done in such nice calligraphy. Nice contrast to the stark words!

carma´s lastest post..Varmint Critter Commentary #8

how are you not leaking spinal fluid after living in that?

April´s lastest post..Cows are Funny.

I had no idea that many floral prints existed in the universe.

I do love the calligraphy - nice touch for any and all condom warnings.

Amy in Ohio´s lastest post..Less than four weeks to go

Ok, seriously?

It looks like my stepmonster threw up in that house. She’s all about the flowers, borders, and wallpaper.

I’m so sorry you have to live like that.

You should totally take a better picture of that sign and send it into this site. That’s a riot!

Smoochiefrog´s lastest post..Bowing to Peer Pressure

Oh wow, there are just no words. I feel for you!

YIKES!

Annie´s lastest post..Handy Man For Hire

Wow the wall paper was actually painful. I give you kudos, you are a brave brave woman.

SJSFalter´s lastest post.."Snails"

I’m so sorry, honey. So sorry.

Secret Agent Mama´s lastest post..Win-Win Wordless Wednesday

I am embarassed to admit that our neighbors across the street have planted fake flowers. But what makes them really classy are the weeds that grow around them.

The couch sent it over the edge long before flushing condoms. I hope temporary housing is VERY temporary for you.

Insta-Mom´s lastest post..choose a different post to show

wow. its like a bad hotel room. or… i dont even know. maybe you will be blessed w/ temporary blindness?

Steph´s lastest post..Sheryl’s Bachelorette

I thought my neighbors were the only ones who planted plastic flowers!

Tuesday´s lastest post..My Daughter

That is just wrong! I don’t think even a cold compress will help…

Vic´s lastest post..Be Our Guest

Good Gawd almighty. My eyes, they burn.

marty´s lastest post..Sign Wars

I could vomit. It reminds me of a cheap hotel. What about the rugs (esp. the one in the bathroom) — any ’70s shag?

Katia / Crazy For Trying´s lastest post..as a Canadian…

ROFL *praying you get a new house soon*

Sandy´s lastest post..Thoughts on Racism and the Election

Uh. Too many flowers. Wow. HAHAHA on the planted fakes.

Devan´s lastest post..random and updates

The wallpaper did it in for me, along with everything else. GAH!
I’m really curious how your “housing situation” works as far as just buying a house just over a year ago and then having to turn around and sell it. Does your hubs company some how take care of all that too? This day in age selling a house is pretty tough. I’m probably being way to nosey, but I was just curious.

Jean@workingmomma247´s lastest post..The Move That Made Jean A "B" Part 1

I have stayed in a timeshare that looked JUST like this. There must be some How to Decorate your Rental Home in the Tackiest Way Possible book series out there.

LOVE the new header!

Miss´s lastest post..Please! Don’t act like you didn’t know…

Oh wow! I will have to say I recognize one of the bedspreads from my grandmother’s house. My mother in law has plastic flowers planted, and plastic ferns hanging on her front porch.. yes really.
How long will you be there?

Shanna´s lastest post..Christmas Card Help

Yup WOW.

Either Ethel is a crazy old lady or a cutting-edge avant-garde genius.

I can’t decide which.

Don Mills Diva´s lastest post..What I know

WOW!! Just WOW!!! How many freakin flowers can you have on shit in one house??

I have never seen plastic flowers planted before.

I am embarassed to live in Tennessee now.

I WAS going to say, “Well, at least the walls are white”, until I saw the bathroom shots. Mein Gott!!

lceel´s lastest post..Epilogue

Oh. Oh my.

I am sending you the bill for the retinal scraping I now have to undergo.

southernfriedgirl´s lastest post..I steal for fun

@katia, luckily there’s no shag carpeting. Just lovely gray carpeting that’s stained and dirty.

@Jean, most likely Tate’s company will buy our house from us. Before agreeing to move we made them promise they’d at least pay us what we paid for the house only 7 months ago. And yes, we got that in writing.

Hopefully the appraisal of our house will come back at a price higher than we paid!

@Rachel, where is TN do you live….email me. Maybe we live close to each other!

Lord honey, I’m sorry. You’re in Tennessee alright.

When we were house hunting I thought I would just give the hell up if I saw one more hunter green living room or bathroom with cabbage rose wallpaper.

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@Shanna Probably until the middle of December, though I hope we can move before Thanksgiving. Doubtful.

Wow… now THAT is classy. Plastic flowers. Teehee.

OHmommy´s lastest post..Shamelessly Burning Calories in High Heels.

I think I’m having heart palpitations.

Thank goodness you warned me to be ready to protect my eyes. And those plastic flowers in the yard? Excuse me?

patois´s lastest post..The Substitute

Aww, it’s nice to see my 1980s Laura Ashley dresses again!

ohmygod.
you could have at least gone onto pinik and added vignettes or something in an attempt to hide some of teh floral nightmare.
oh well…we appreciate you!!

jen´s lastest post..more apples…please!

Oh sweetie, just spare yourself and come back to Indiana.

Have the T-shirt´s lastest post..He did me Proud

I don’t even know where to begin

Melizzard´s lastest post..The Ex List

The floral, the patterns, I would go insane!
And the note about condoms… yeah, that’s a nice touch!
Is this someone’s real home or is it just a house that is always rented out as temporary housing? They need to hire a new decorator!!! (like you didn’t already know that!)

Krista´s lastest post..18 Months!

I love that they framed the note in the bathroom, nice touch.

I have a lady who lives around the corner from me who plants fake flowers. With dew dropped roses and all. And this in no small garden either. I will have to take pics and post them for you to see.

Moving sucks! Thankfully with the market as it is Tate’s company will buy the house from you.

Here’s to feeling more normal.

Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire´s lastest post..Car Seats, Shoes and blankets…..Oh my!

@Krista It’s a house that gets rented out, usually for people’s vacations.

I’m sure that at some time someone owned this as their home and purposely decorated it this way. That had to be waaaay back in the 80’s!

Boy, Ethel leaves no stone unturned in her attempts to floralize the universe.

I’m weeping for you. Feel free to head down to Bham and take in my giraffe print carpet - it’ll cheer you right up.

Seriously, that’s an assload of flowers.

egads!
plastic flowers have been planted??
our wallpaper in the bathrooms are also garish- the whole house hasn’t been touched save for 2 rooms since we moved in….. 6 YEARS AGO….
seeing your pictures have reminded me that i have a lot of work to do. too bad i have a 3month old now.

mpotter´s lastest post..taking a poll on human nature

For a minute there I thought you were posting pictures of my Meemaw’s house. Floral is very hip with the 75+ crowd.

Megan´s lastest post..Sweet Nothings

Ha haaa! Like floral hell! It could be worse, strange diseased lepard print. I so love the ones planted out front. I have to go do that to mine right now!

Heidi´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday

Sad, but I recognize at least 2 of those florals from the Domestics Dept where I worked in 1984!
The couch and the wallpaper put me over the edge.
Excuse me, I think I am gonna loose my lunch.

Binks´s lastest post..Linky Dinky Doo - A Halloweenie contest

Oh sweetie,
I am SO sorry…

“Wow” is right. And probably an understatement. That’s pretty bad. At least it’s temporary, right?

holy floral nightmare batman

Oh. Wow. I think I need to bang my eyes against a wall for awhile.

Please don’t go crazy. At least not too crazy.

the dragonfly´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday: (Little) Mr. Cool

[...] Holy crap, that's a lot of flowers. [...]

Hmm…I think I’m going crazy. I meant I need to bang my head against a wall for awhile. But I guess eyes works too.
the dragonfly´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday: (Little) Mr. Cool

those florals all look painfully familiar to me. we moved around quite a bit growing up and i’m pretty sure we owned all of them at one time or another.

but we never ever ever planted plastic flowers. my mom had a green thumb. at least her flowers were real!

Oh.my.hell.

Trenches of Mommyhood´s lastest post..Out of the Loop

The planted plastic flowers are the best. I assume they survive the winter there, too.

Chin up, now!

LuckyMe´s lastest post..Recipe for "The Talk"

Oh my my my. That is certainly a stunning display of…floral.

My fingers are crossed that you get to settle into your home (which I trust is mostly floral free) ASAP!

Maggie´s lastest post..Best Shot Monday: Summary Saturday - Project 365, Week 38

And to think I left a comment the other day saying I wanted to see the floral decorating. I.Had.No.Idea!!! That is sooo much worse than I ever could have IMAGINED! And I laughed out loud at the planted plastic flowers with bark chips. I’m going to have nightmares tonight. OMG! At least it will make you SO appreciate your own home once you get settled in!

The HORROR!

OH. MY. GOD. How do you not get dizzy and pass out every day?!?!?!

heather…´s lastest post..Days Gone By

Ouch. Oww! It seriously hurts my eyes.

Kat´s lastest post..Saturday Suggestions Part 2

Such blogging fodder! That couch! Just… wow.

Rosie´s lastest post..I have a new boyfriend, plus someone is looking out for me

“Floral Galoral” hahahaha! I am embarrassed that I was born, raised and am a current resident of TN. I hope people know that some of us have taste. Although…I might be related to Ethel Some of my aunts have houses that look just like that!

Ashley @ mrs007.net´s lastest post..O Hai! How ’bout some random

OH MY LORD!!! WTF? You have got to be kidding me!

Rachel´s lastest post..23 weeks…

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? I can’t see! My eyes have been burned out in a tragic floral accident.

THAT was revolting. I won’t be able to eat my dinner now. Probably a good thing in retrospect.

MadWomanMeg´s lastest post..Hollywood Declares Themselves…..have YOU?!?!

As if having to uproot your family wasn’t injustice enough. Hope you find new digs soon.

Sue @ My Party of 6´s lastest post..I’ve got the homework blues

holy crap! now i REALLY feel sorry for you!!!

shaz´s lastest post..My new journey

Help! I’m blind. That’s the most horrendous home decor I’ve ever seen. I thought I was out of date with my blue, burgundy and gold plaid chair and a half, but I’m afraid your temporary home takes the cake.

Oh my goodness..you weren’t kidding!! Thank goodness it’s temporary…

thanks, I think you just got my allergies going again.

Wendy´s lastest post..life at the fair, the harvest fair on Bainbridge Island

Words fail. Please accept my deepest sympathy.

Donna´s lastest post..The Baby is the Teacher

If I had to live there I’d drink heavily frequently and often.

On the bright side, at least you don’t have a Norman Bates Psycho Kitchen like this http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/2008/10/kitchen-dcor-that-only-norman-bates.html

Condo Blues´s lastest post..Save Some Bucks – How to Seal Air Ducts!

wow.

ooohhh. eeemmmmmm. geeeeee. i’m back now. i had to puke after seeing the pics. but i’m back. that’s just wrong. so many versions of wrong.

um wow - that’s alotta flowers. fake & all. I might think you were living in my in-laws house except yours is (probably) not portable. But yea, the flowers planted in the ground - totally. LOL

I called our house the ‘floral explosion’ when we first moved into it. It also had pink and white (thick) striped wallpaper running up and down the walls of the entryway.

Planting those artificial flowers though takes the cake.

Fairly Odd Mother´s lastest post..Rules, Schmules, or How To Be Crafty at Four

Oh. My. God. Just, OH my God. I’m sorry.

Rachael´s lastest post..Haikus, Vacations & Poetry

Um, yeah - WOW. That does just about cover it.

I hope that everything will work out and you guys can find a wonderful home - what a whirlwind move, that’s got to be a huge adjustment (to say the least). Here’s to taking things one day at a time as you adjust to the ‘new normal’. Hugs…

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls´s lastest post..I was just seventeen…

OH My! I may have to book mark this so that every time I want to whine about the ugly gov’t furniture the foreign service provides I can look at this and thank God it isn’t that bad!

shannon´s lastest post..News Flash!

Does it start to look better if you wear your sunglasses inside? How about those 3D glasses that sometimes comes with kids books?

No?

Maybe a blindfold…

Veronica´s lastest post..What Happens When…

Oh you are totally kidding me, right?

That bathroom?

OMG.

And there is carpet in there as well?

OMG.

But I am totally stealing that plastic flowers idea
Kelley´s lastest post..Biz Cas Fri

And this is a HOME, right? Not a Motel?

Um, wow. Hope it’s clean, at least…

Oh my. Are you sure Tate’s company isn’t angry at you for some reason? Or maybe it’s their, “See, wife, it could be worse. We could have relocated you here AND your moving van could have been hijacked AND you wouldn’t have any of your own cool decor to look forward to. Aren’t you glad this is temporary?”

Dear. God. I’ll bet if you put 3D glasses on your kids, they could have a fun time with that wallpaper. Love the plastic planted plants. Pardon me now, I have to go tuck my curtains behind my blinds.

Jen L.´s lastest post..Well, baby

GAH!

Carrie´s lastest post..Completely Exhausted

I just vomited in my mouth a little.

Susan´s lastest post..You didn’t have me at hello

Oh honey, I’m so so sorry. UGH.

VDog´s lastest post..…But He Was Two Months Early

oh. my. word.

Oh.my.god.

I have no words. None.

the bathrooms are too scary! I’d have to shower with my eyes shut!
plastic planted flowers..um interesting I suppose

paula´s lastest post..happy birthday!

The florals, the condoms, the plastic flowers…I feel sick. No really. Get out soon….as soon as you CAN!

Marcy Writes-The Glamorous Life!´s lastest post..Something I learned today…

Seriously, living on the street, a cardboard box or your local shelter may be better options!

Yikes! Talk about Laura Ashley overkill. I’m so sorry. My eyes would be burning from having to look at that each day.

Hoping for a new home for you soon!

Christina´s lastest post..I Always Take The Shortcut

[...] Oh and one last purchase…a new house. No, a new HOME. It comes complete with a RAD kitchen where my mad baking skillz are sure to shine! Luckily, no floral patterns here! [...]

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