The “characters” in the following story are merely figments of my imagination and are not actual people. Or at least that’s the story I’m sticking to.
A little boy, let’s call him Charlie, was supposedly taking a nap. Most days, he spent the two hours of “rest time” as his mommy tried to sell it, singing and yelling and throwing all of the blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals out of his crib.
One glorious day after weeks of Charlie not napping, his mommy noticed that he was quiet. She thought to herself how nice it was to have those two hours actually be quiet hours. There was no yelling or singing and she was certain that THIS was the day that he had finally napped.
Around 4:00, Mommy could hear Charlie chatting up a storm in his crib. She went into his room and discovered a site so horrifying, she could hardly grasp what she was seeing.
What she saw was this: Charlie’s pants were nowhere to be found. Brown specs covered his legs.
There was a brown smear at his hairline and some more brown streaked in his hair. Her eyes then noticed the brown on the wall next to the crib and the brown along a few of the slats of the crib.
Her initial coping thoughts immediately led her to believe that somehow she had forgotten and sent him to bed with chocolate pudding. But, no…it wasn’t possible, she’d never have done such a thing.
Could it be crayon? Maybe a brownie?
She knew, though. She knew what it was. Mommy could hardly speak and just stared at Charlie and the brown stuff with her mouth agape.
“Charlie!” she bellowed. “Did you…did you…did you smear POOP everywhere???”
“Yeah, Mommy!” Charlie beamed with pride. “My poop was a hot dog!”
And that’s when she passed out.
Okay not really, that’s when she asked him if he’d eaten his poop and waited with horrified and bated breath.
“…because you DO NOT eat poop!” which is a sentence she never thought she’d actually have to verbalize.
Charlie looked horrified and shook his head “no.”
Hours of discussion followed the lengthy clean-up session. Mommy reminded Charlie that poop was NOT for playing with, touching, or especially eating. She threatened the loss of certain train and tractor items if he was to ever smear poop again.
Charlie seemed to feel remorseful and seemed to understand how wrong poop playdates were and Mommy felt she had done a good job in getting her message across….that is until the next time she changed one of his poopy diapers and he again proclaimed with broad smile, “My poop is a hot dog!”
**********************************
This contest is over!
Today’s giveaway is potty related, more toward the pee than the poo.
One lucky winner will receive a Flippee The Toilet Shield, which helps teach and guide boys where to tinkle! I’m about 100% sure that the boy in the story above is going to need this. He seems like the spraying type.
To enter, just leave a comment! Easy!
Comments will close at 7 AM, EST, on November 11, 2008.
Congratulations to Aimee, winner of the $25 gift certificate to Tickatoo.com, Andrea, the winner of two card designs from Keri’s Card Designs, and Flickrlovr, winner of the whipped shea butter and butter beans from Vintage Body Spa!
Comments are closed! Thanks for playing!
Cathy
November 9, 2008 at 7:58 am
Oh my gosh. That sounds like something Liam would do. Quinn never has. Thank God.
And that flippy thing – so cool. We had a problem at work with 1st and 2nd graders getting pee everywhere. We ordered some toilet targets for them – seems to be working.
Why can’t boys just pee into the toilet and leave it at that?
Cathy´s lastest post..Bullets
Mia, childcare lady
November 9, 2008 at 8:26 am
*sigh* yes, I well remember the time I woke in the morning while visiting my mother (who lived interstate) to find small boy had climbed out of the portacot and was happily painting the wall with whatever was to hand… you can imagine what was to hand
Many children try it at some point. Its a good chance for a lesson reinforcing what they should have picked up by now (err, or what they should not have picked up?
).
Don’t worry, you will not have to worry about him playing with poop when he’s 21.
Auburn Gal Always (Keri)
November 9, 2008 at 8:27 am
Oh,noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
I will definitely need a Flippee for Lucky.
PICK ME! PICK ME!!!
Have the T-shirt
November 9, 2008 at 8:29 am
It’s a well known fact that when the kiddies are quiet, the mommies should be in panic mode.
My oldest did that poop smearing thing once when he was about two. He was SO proud of himself and I was SO totally grossed out.
He was mostly concerned cause it was on his fingers…really? It being on your NOSE doesn’t disturb you though?!!!
Have the T-shirt´s lastest post..Losing It
Karly
November 9, 2008 at 8:30 am
Oh. My. Word. I am soooo glad that my children never decided to play with their poo.
Karly´s lastest post..Listen To My Boobs For They Know Of What They Speak.
Sarah
November 9, 2008 at 8:47 am
And I thought the worst thing to fear with was the pooping in the BATHTUB. I… I may need to get one of those video baby monitors after all.
Sarah´s lastest post..Overthink
Mags
November 9, 2008 at 8:56 am
Ugh!!! It happened with my twins when they were 2 on Xmas Day. Ugh!!! I remember every stinking minute of the cleanup. Thanks!!! LOL
Mags´s lastest post..Fun Day Saturday!
Connie @ Young & Relentless
November 9, 2008 at 9:01 am
Oh NO Charlie! {said in my best british accent}
My children’s poop rarely resembles a ‘hot dog’ therefore, they are more finger painters than drawers.
Have you recovered from this? Did you partake in plenty of Mommy’s Liquid Helper?
Connie @ Young & Relentless´s lastest post..Are you looking for my ample bosom?
paula
November 9, 2008 at 9:01 am
this is I think the 3rd blog about this I have read this weekend and I must say I am so very glad I don’t have any sort of story along these lines to add!!!!
paula´s lastest post..maximum caffeination
RACHEL
November 9, 2008 at 9:09 am
haha.. whenever it is TOO quiet around here I get a sinking feeling! My boy smeared poop once too.. YUCK!! Ya know.. I mean same as the unfortunate mommy in your story…
RACHEL´s lastest post..KaPOW!
Janine
November 9, 2008 at 9:25 am
Oh my. OH MY. I’m so sorry.
Janine´s lastest post..Sharing another contest.
MommyNamedApril
November 9, 2008 at 9:29 am
Oh. My. Goodness.
MommyNamedApril´s lastest post..Blogged Down with the Details.
Marie Green
November 9, 2008 at 9:58 am
Have you heard of the toddler chastity belt? Invented for THIS very reason?
For naptime/bedtime/anytime there is a risk of diaper digging, you dress toddler like this: diaper, tights, onsie (snapped over tights), pants on backwards. I know tights are not usually for boys, but it will keep him out of his pants!
Marie Green´s lastest post..Yesterday
Mama DB
November 9, 2008 at 10:59 am
oh, I haven’t had the pleasure of poop painting yet. The little girl never was much on pulling her diaper off. I’m afraid that the little boy just may be the one though. *shudders*
Mama DB´s lastest post..rant.
tracey
November 9, 2008 at 10:59 am
Ok, I don’t need the toilet shield, but I just had to say YOU POOR THING!!
marit
November 9, 2008 at 11:08 am
My parents always claimed my love of making pottery came from the training I got as a child, doing exactly what your son did
marit´s lastest post..What do YOU like about yourself?
Lynn
November 9, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Hopefully he does not share this talent with anyone else in the house.
supermommy
November 9, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I had the same thing happen to me with Munchkin a few months ago. It was everywhere! Thankfully she only did it a couple of times before she grew out of it.
supermommy´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday: Backpackin’
Julia
November 9, 2008 at 1:44 pm
And I thought it was bad when we had the pooping on the carpet episode. Boys!
marsha
November 9, 2008 at 2:56 pm
My son was very good at removing his pajamas during the night. I woke on more than one occasion with poop everywhere.
Swiggy
November 9, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I wish I had one of these shields when my oldest was potty training – he always managed to point his willy towards the space between the seat and the bowl. My second boy will really benefit from one of these (or, at least I will).
Swiggy´s lastest post..Doomed
Amy
November 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Oh yes…I remember having something similar happen to me. When I went into my twins room…it looked like a crime scene!!!
Amy´s lastest post..Face Painting
Dore
November 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Oh my goodness. I pray Brayden never does this. We’ve woken up a few mornings where he had his diaper off, but thankfully everything was clean and dry!!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
Dore´s lastest post..Feedback… I’ll take some of that
Kelley
November 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Boo is known as Poopcasso or having exhibitions of his fecal murals.
It is the smell that draws you in, the texture that floors you.
Kelley´s lastest post..Glad he ain’t my president and the voices and I had another meeting. Sans donuts. Dammit!
MichelleB
November 9, 2008 at 4:23 pm
That story was hilarious haha.
After me and my hubby celebrated our 10th anniversary and he surprised me with a gorgeous diamond necklace from http://www.idonowidont.com, we realized our 1 year old is growing so fast.
We would love to win the Flippee because our boy will need it soon!
Leah
November 9, 2008 at 5:51 pm
That story was so funny! Gross, but funny!
Toni
November 9, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Oh, God, I hope that my Liam doesn’t see a poop hot dog; he’ll eat anything! *cringe*
Pick me! We are about to begin potty training…*cringe again*
Toni´s lastest post..Hay!
Stephanie
November 9, 2008 at 7:30 pm
yes i think i need one of those.
Marinka
November 9, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I think I’ll pass on hot dogs from now on.
Kym
November 9, 2008 at 10:11 pm
My Aunt walked in on her daughter doing this exact same thing one hour prior to having a house showing in an attempt to sell their house and move. The story is legendary in our family. I think hot dogs were not involved.
Insta-Mom
November 9, 2008 at 11:27 pm
One night shortly after my husband and I married, I woke up to the light on in the bathroom. I went to investigate and found my mostly-asleep stepson going to the bathroom…head lolling back and pee hosing the entire toilet.
Insta-Mom´s lastest post..At least it’s not about politics
Mommy Daisy
November 10, 2008 at 12:27 am
Oh my gosh! At least he didn’t eat it. Ugh!
Mommy Daisy´s lastest post..Contentment
Stimey
November 10, 2008 at 12:28 am
So I don’t need the pee-shield thingy, but I just wanted to let you know how much you’ve traumatized me. Thank you.
Stimey´s lastest post..Confidential To Claudia
CharmingBitch
November 10, 2008 at 2:33 am
Oh dear, thank goodness the only one into scat in our house is the dog (but she is…um, rilly, rilly into it, hers, yours, mine, any pooh will do for our lil shit-eater) but on the flipside, I totally do not want hot dogs for a snack now!!
And enter me for the pee shield, please! Two with bad aim under 5 (and um one over 35), we need all the help we can get!
CharmingBitch´s lastest post..Day 8 Read These People
Rayne of Terror
November 10, 2008 at 7:39 am
We totally needs this. I hate overSPRAY!
Rayne of Terror´s lastest post..Voting
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rachel crisman
November 10, 2008 at 7:53 am
wow!You have wonderful giveaways! Count me in!
Shanna
November 10, 2008 at 8:05 am
Ew, I am gagging just thinking about it. My mom said I did the same thing, I have been lucky with the boys.
I could use one of this flipee things! My youngest son has the hardest time directing his winkie, I have to remind myself he is only two and chances are that it won’t get any better!
Shanna´s lastest post..Pregnancy Brain
cake
November 10, 2008 at 10:27 am
i really thought i’d skated past that phase, with no incident…i was wrong.
my son takes “quiet time” in his room, and he often sits on the potty, since he’s more likely to go poop if he’s alone. it usually works just fine. he poops, tells me, we empty it in the toilet and he goes back to “quiet time” (which, by the way, is RARELY quiet)
last week, it was unusually quiet in there for a while, and then he came to find me, and said, “i got poop on my feet” i freaked, brought him to the bathroom, then went to look in his room. he’d dumped the potty, and then rubbed it into the carpet with his feet. other toys and items nearby had been involved, including little people, and a photo no longer in its frame, of some beloved relatives. i gasped, and said in a deep, horrified voice “oh god, oh god,” and almost passed out myself. he thought my reaction was really funny, so i tried to simmer down, but it was so hard. i wanted to really make it clear that THIS IS NOT OK!
now, we just keep an eye on him, and empty the potty promptly. i don’t think it is defiance or anything, just experimenting with an interesting substance. i vowed to do more playdoh with him.
we don’t need the shield, just wanted to share my story too.
cake´s lastest post..keep yer forks…there’s pie!
Abby
November 10, 2008 at 3:11 pm
My son is 19 months, so we will be needing this in the near future!
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February 23, 2009 at 1:02 am
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