Family members? Please go away today or at least have the decency not to ever let me know that you read this post. Thanks!
Tate called me in a panic the other day while he was in Indiana with the movers as they were boxing up our stuff.
“Jennifer?! I’ve been looking everywhere for your blue vibrator and that little red pocket rocket. I CANNOT FIND THEM. Where ARE they?? I’m FREAKING OUT, I’ve looked EVERYWHERE!! I have to find them before the movers do. I’ll just DIE if the movers find them.” I thought I heard him start to weep. He was obviously frantic.**
(**Maybe I paraphrased Tate’s words and added some untrue details. Possibly I exaggerated for effect.)
“There, there, my love. Never fear, I have them here with me in Tennessee,” I reassured him in a smooth, calming voice.
“You do?” I could hear a childlike whimper escape from his lips. “Oh THANK GOODNESS. I’m so relieved! I was about to have a heart attack.”****
(****Okay FINE. you caught me. I’m exaggerating. So what? The underlying story IS true, though. So there.)
Moral of the story? Hide the vibrators from the movers so as to avoid embarrassment and heart attacks. The more you know! *ding*
Okay Jennifer, you’re only 2 years and 11 months too late with this. Thanks.
The bluebird and the dolphin were discovered, uncovered and oooh’d and aaaaw’d at. Where were you then huh?
ha ha ha
Rachel´s lastest post..Mouthwatering Loaded Potato Soup
Such timely advice. Off to put my unmentionables with the alcohol stash going in our trunk.
Maggie’s Mind´s lastest post..Along for the Ride
Vibrator? What’s a vibrator?
merlotmom´s lastest post..Give Me The Grateful Life – Monday
Had a similar situation when we moved. My girlfriend was packing up my husband’s sweaters and found a red felt bag. She decided to empty the contents only unveil the “silver bullet.” Then proceeded to say, “what’s this?” My other friend and I are in hysterics laughing and can hardly talk. She honestly didn’t know, but now has one of her own!
And don’t hide them in your underwear drawer under the socks when your daughter wears the same size as you and is forever running out of socks cause THAT is even more embarrassing.
you are welcome.
I remember the first time I had military movers, and I was watching them move things out of mine and my husband’s tiny apartment. We watched our dresser get loaded up, and then looked at each other with growing distress. We realized they had packed up his porn collection from the bottom drawer!!
Spookygirl´s lastest post..Proposed crafts for SpiralScouts on Saturday…
Ha ha ha. A very important lesson indeed — I will file that information away for use at a later date.
Although I am a bit sad not to find out what happened to Tate when the movers actually found said items…
Maggie´s lastest post..The 7 Things Meme
Christmas last year was held at the house we were currently living in. It had an upstairs with 2 bedrooms and a bathroom and a downstairs with everything else.
Needless to say, our bathroom was filled with some interesting things. About half way through Xmas day, my grandmother and great grandmother asked if they could go upstairs to see what the view was like. I had to very quickly run up the stairs ahead of them and quickly chuck everything into the hot water cupboard before they could see it.
I would have been mortified to have my great grandmother see our toys.
Veronica´s lastest post..Neglected
We need a national “vibrator coming out day”. I often wonder how many women have them and never say anything about them. Do you think the percentage is 90%?
Knot
Knot´s lastest post..Relationship Series Part I
I went out with college friends recently and they told me a story of another friend. Her apartment burned down and the only thing that survived was her silver bullet vibrator. Of course, the nice firemen were kind enough to bring her one last surviving possession! *snort*
Ashlie- Mommycosm´s lastest post..Elf on the Shelf
you are so brave my friend. Hope the fam skipped this one or christmas dinner just might taste a little different.
and really…like you would have left that behind in Indiana? come on!
designhermomma´s lastest post..Drinking up the holidays
Words to fill one with dread – “Hey Dad, what’s in this?”
lceel´s lastest post..Tis the season for ….
LOL! My friend and I were helping her mom move a couple of years ago when she retired and we were packing up the linen closet. My friend picked up a towel and suddenly “Thunk!” WHO THE H*** KEEPS THEIR VIBRATOR IN THE LINEN CLOSET!?!?!?!?
Jen L.´s lastest post..The funniest thing in the whole world
OMG, that’s hilarious!! However…
Our movers saw ours in 2004. I was mortified. So I feel Tate’s pain.
SECRET AGENT MAMA´s lastest post..SPC: Time to Slow Down
Hahaha!!! A good reminder.
Kat´s lastest post..Many Thanks
Hmm…. Try crossing the U.S.\Canadian border with all your possessions in a Uhaul *wink wink* with your parents driving. I had nightmares of being that one car that’s searched, my belonging spread out on the ground for the world to see.
I’m not sure what I was thinking.
What? No giveaway?? rofl I bet there would be some very interesting sponsors for this post.
LOL I am lucky, I don’t care for those things and hence don’t have them.
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My son, son-in-law, and a friend of my son recently moved my dresser into another room, taking the drawers out first, then putting them back. It wasn’t until they left that I realized my vibrator was in plain sight in one of the top drawers. We have never mentioned it. And I never plan to.
Mrs. Who´s lastest post..Graceful As A Gazelle On The African Veldt
This is so funny!
And you know your family read it.
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My own brother found my blog based on a comment I left on someone else’s post so I cant’ share my story. Watch for an incoming email!
Yea, unless your family moves you and when your BIL is wondering where the blue duffel bag is. Then you suddenly realize what is in the blue duffel bag that you are holding. Drop it, only for it to start making a buzzing noise that makes the then 6 yo nephew inquire as to what is inside said bag. EWW!
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Damn, Deanna! I should have done a giveaway for this one! Maybe next time….
Amy, I know. Sigh. And to think they’re coming to help us move in tomorrow. This could make for some AWESOME dinner conversation. Maybe I should have posted this while they were here and without access to their computer. Hindsight is 20/20.
LOVING the new header. And, boy you were saving that up from the month of being coy and innocent, weren’t you?
Anglophile Football Fanatic´s lastest post..The Bigger The Better The Tighter the Sweater
My mother told me it was a back and neck massager.
and here i thought you were going to say hide them from the kids. *gasp*… i just saw a blurb in i think “good housekeeping” where they now have them designed to look like lipstick & nailpolish. hmmm i wonder if someone was inspired.
and can i also mention that you NEVER EVER want to be w/ your older mom when she needs to go to the pharmacy b/c of some machine your dad needs for his emphyzema. and i quote: “i need one of those vibrators, please” luckily the pharmacist knew what she was asking for. *shudder*
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Awesome.
slynnro´s lastest post..Scenes From a Marriage: If you were a fly on the wall, you’d hear this. And then likely fly away Ed.
Jennifer! Oh My GAWD! Ive been there. We moved about 2 years ago .. mind you we moved ourselves cause thats how us poor people do it .. but anyway .. I have an ENTIRE BOX FULL … FULL .. of my SPECIAL TOYS that have been missing ever since that move. Misplacing ONE or maybe TWO.. thats not that far fetched .. but an ENTIRE BOX?? There had to have been at least 20 items in that box .. ALL GONE. I suspect the people that moved into that house after us found QUITE the housewarming gift in the master bedroom closet. HA HA!! Dont say Ive never given to charity! I HAVE!
Love
Madness
Madness´s lastest post..Confessions of a fizzled out blogger
That is funny. I don’t bother my husband with the whereabouts of my “BOB.” Actually, I call my best friend each and every time I get ready to fly and tell her the location of “BOB.” That way, if my plane crashes, she knows that it is her job to quickly get back into the US, go to my house and get it before my MIL finds it. I have the same responsibility should something happen to her.
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I don’t remember if I ever told you the story of when Rae found my “toy”. She came out of my bedroom with it and said… “Mommy, this pink flashlight doesn’t work!” Yikes!!!
I will keep that in mind for future moves.
Right now I only have to worry about my mom finding our toys. She was helping me clean out my closet one day and started to open one box. I recognized the box and quickly jumped to grab it out of her hands, telling her it was just some books and junk.
Christina´s lastest post..No Surprises
I am sure my MIL has seen my collection. She watched the kids over the weekend once at our house and I am sure she snooped.
Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. HAHAHA.
Bridge´s lastest post..freecycle: the good, the bad and the ugly
We have moved alot. And everytime. EVERYTIME my husband panics about this same thing. And I panic too a little.
Funny huh? (Well yes, Marcy that is why she posted it!)
The Glamorous Life´s lastest post..Swedish Rock Band #3: Jan Kenths
I’ll keep that in mind. And add it to the “always wear clean underwear” adage.
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[...] the Photo Posted on December 3, 2008 by ragtopday This post over at Playgroups are No Place for Children reminded me of my own embarrassing mover [...]
Heeee-larious!
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Oh, truer words were never spoken. Once when helping some friendish acquaintances (you know, not really friends but not just acquaintances) we moved a chest of drawers for them and heard a strange noise.
It only took the four of us grown married adults, oh, 5 minutes to realize suddenly what the noise was. The drawer was vibrating and we didn’t know quite what to do about it!
So, we did the best thing we knew how and started cracking up like high schoolers. It was the only thing we could think of to do…
Bwwaaa haa haa. Also if you go on vacation don’t forget to leave the toys under the bed. Not that I would know. Cough.
p.s. LOVE that header! Ho, ho, ho!
It seems to me that the correct response to his question would’ve been “Tate honey… You’re in Indiana & I’m in Tennessee. Where do you THINK they are?”
MommyCity´s lastest post..Your Baby Is Ugly
huahuahuahua…
the person that found my wife’s vibrator was TB’s nany…
In my underwear drawer (don’t ask me what it was doing there!)…
that wouldn’t be a problem normally be a problem if I wasn’t supposed to be her pastor… hehehehe
but then again… I am also a photographer and have seen her naked in a glamour photoshoot she hired me to do… so we’re probably sorted there!
lol
UrbanVox´s lastest post..Drinks are on me!!
My friend told me that she didn’t want to leave her vibrator at home when she left because the nanny-cleaning lady was there with the kids and she was mortified that she’d find it while dusting or something, so she’d always take it with her and throw it on the back seat. For some reason, her constantly being in the car with her vibrator cracks me up.
Marinka´s lastest post..Reese Witherspoon and Kelly Ripa Chat. Marinka Can’t Stop Vomiting.
Good advice, must remember when we move in a few months. Also to remember to not let family members help unpack
Laura McIntyre´s lastest post..Silly Video
OH, I’m laughing so hard over here. Great advice but it’s even funnier to imagine which family member of yours decided to read this post.
Fairly Odd Mother´s lastest post..Go Ahead, Make My Day
So you “conveniently” had them with you. Hmmmmm….
; )
Susan´s lastest post..Oh, Christmas Tree
How mortifying for someone to have found that. My wife and I have our own “toys” but they are for private use. We like to keep that stuff to ourselves.
Yeah, this is a great moral when your DAD is moving your nightstand.
True story. And this was AFTER I asked my husband to empty the drawer, when he refused I asked him to tape it shut. He assured me it was fine and told his buddies to NOT hand this one item to my father.
They decided it would be hysterical to hand it to my father.
You know how this ends.
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