First it started with finding out we were moving.
Then it was the stress of living in floral infestation, living a great distance from YOUNG civilization.
Then is was almost selling our house, but finding out that our “buyers” were really con artists.
After that it was Cartus, our relocation company, that has been a thorn in my side for years, but WORSE, a thorn in my side TWO TIMES in one year.
Next my Internet connection sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t, and of course my connection fell under the “sometimes didn’t” category when I most needed it.
Oh and then? I decided that going back to work and trying to find childcare and buying a whole new wardrobe for work would be a GREAT. IDEA.
Then it was the stress of moving in. And even though it’s a GOOD thing and it’s GOOD stress, I have a hard time with STRESS.
Next I called and visited several daycares and none of them were suitable, some being too expensive, others not accepting children part time, and others just not giving me that warm, fuzzy feeling I was desperate to find for my children.
Then it was the first night alone in our house, mostly unpacked, looking forward to enjoying a glass of wine in front of our Christmas tree and our fireplace when Tate discovered that the sewer was backing up in our basement. There was SHIT WATER in my basement. (Pardon my use of the word “shit,” I’ve tried cutting back on my cursing, but when there is poo on the floor of your brand new home, it’s not in fact “POO,” it is SHIT.)
My fireplace? Wasn’t hooked up to electricity, so it wouldn’t light. Apparently the inspector missed this. Not sure how you miss FIRE vs. NO FIRE.
Then it was the dryer that our movers broke and nobody wants to accept responsibility for fixing and I don’t care WHOSE responsibility it is, I just NEED my dryer to work. I need it to work, like, LAST WEEK.
I forgot to mention that the children and I became deathly ill in the midst of all of this, and while we’re feeling better, some of us (I’m looking at you, Carson and Ella) haven’t stopped whining for four days.
It took the cable man 4 1/2 hours to install our cable. He left at 8:30 PM, an hour past my eternally whining children’s bedtime.
How could I forget this one? The movers also somehow warped my brand new kitchen table. And of course, nobody wants to claim responsibility.
I have bought 2 Christmas presents.
To combat this stress, I’ve decided that I’m not going back to work, at least not right away. I’ve been trying to go to bed early and get extra rest. I’ve watched back to back episodes of Top Chef and Real Housewives of the O.C. AND Atlanta. Now if someone would just like to drop by with a few cases of wine, I’ll be good as gold.
Edited to add just minutes after hitting publish: La-Z-Boy just tried to deliver the wrong sofa. A very, very ugly and tacky sofa, for what it’s worth.