‘Twas the night before Christmas Eve Eve
And all throughout my house
Chaos and toys had taken over
I shrugged and said, “It’s time to get soused.”
The wine glasses were filled to the brim with care
in hopes that a cleaning fairy soon would be there
With Tate wrapping presents and I frantically dusting
I suddenly yelled, “This bathroom’s disgusting.”
When down in the basement there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my duties to see what was the matter
Away to the kids’ rooms, I flew in a flash
But the kids were asleep lightning fast.
Tate mentioned something about my “moon” and my breasts
I just rolled my eyes at this wonky sex attempt, as you probably guessed
He retreated in defeat and went back to wrapping
I finished up cleaning and yearned for some napping
With an arm full of gifts, Tate came upstairs
I rummaged through the gifts to catch any spares
One for Carson, for Ella, for Tate, and for Nanny
For Papa, Uncle J, Aunt M, and for me
From Etsy, From Amazon, I already knew
Two more boxes, surprises!
How exciting!
Phew!
My eyes how they twinkled!
This Christmas would be merry!
Even though my butt is all dimpled
and my fat rolls are like jelly
I spoke not a word, but went straight to work
I tugged on Tate’s hand and said, “you deserve a perk!”
We went back to the bedroom, for cuddles and kisses
Tate was quite pleased to get all of his wishes
And I heard him exclaim as he drifted off to sleep,
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I got you surprises to keep.”
(Slightly edited version originally published last year.)
tyne
December 22, 2008 at 9:26 am
great post! fa la la la la
tyne´s lastest post..Friday Fragments Holiday Style
Connie @ Young and Relentless
December 22, 2008 at 10:04 am
That is so funny! Love it!
Connie @ Young and Relentless´s lastest post..Elfcapades ~ Playtime
MizFit
December 22, 2008 at 12:36 pm
LOVE.
MizFit´s lastest post..Kitchen exercise. (kitchen’ercize? no? ok. it was worth a shot.)
Annie
December 22, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Okay – this made me cry! I am a sap, I know it.
Annie´s lastest post.."Busy but Benign"
Lynn
December 22, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Too funny. Too true.
Beth
December 22, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Oh, do you have one of those husbands who buys you xmas gifts? Jealous.
Dory
December 22, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Love it! Brava!
the planet of janet
December 22, 2008 at 3:18 pm
yay! surprises!
(and perks too? yay)
the planet of janet´s lastest post..The present of his presence
Rachel
December 22, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Super cute and I do love how you tell it like it is. I may have to come up with one of these myself. If I start now I should have something by next Christmas.
Rachel´s lastest post..Nothing but snow baby!
WM
December 22, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Dude, you got some serious talent (she says while thinking about the super cool if you give a toddler a… Wait what did you give the toddler ? Man my memory sucks.)
WM´s lastest post..Seattle, we might have to break up.
Maggie
December 22, 2008 at 9:39 pm
That is so cute! I hope that everyone in the Playgroupie house has a very merry Christmas!
Maggie´s lastest post..Best Shot Monday – Plaza Lights, Take 2
Shannon
December 23, 2008 at 9:45 am
Absolutely love it! Merry Christmas – Shannon
Cathy | Mommy Motivation
December 23, 2008 at 11:35 am
That was awesome! Well done. Can I re-post? You’re linked up! I’ll be back!
Cathy
patois
December 23, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Well done!
patois´s lastest post..Haiku: A Winter’s Day
Sarcasta-Mom
December 23, 2008 at 2:26 pm
LMAO! That was the best thing I’ve read all day…
Sarcasta-Mom´s lastest post..All I Want For Christmas….
Sarah
December 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm
YAY for surprises!!!
Great poem!
Stephanie
December 23, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I just had to laugh because I posted my own “Twas the…” on my site today. All about the kids yesterday.
Stephanie´s lastest post..‘Twas a Few Days Before Christmas – A Mother’s Story
Sticky
December 24, 2008 at 5:53 pm
That was wonderful!!
Wishing you Happy Holidays!
Love
Sticky Family
Sticky´s lastest post..Happy Holidays! All of ‘em!!
Rachel
December 24, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Aww sweetness. you’re so cute.
Here’s to dimpled butts, jelly thighs, more wine, eggnog and loving our kids too much to care
Get ya some lovin’ and have a very Merry Christmas. Thank you for being you.
Blessings, love, joy and magic on this day.
Rachel´s lastest post..Carrots, Reindeer and Icy Rooftops: The Christmas Eve Story
Jen
December 28, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Way to go Tate! See, you just keep up that wrapping, and you’ll get a pay-off in the end! Just think what you’d get if you worked on scrubbing the bathroom for a while…
Jen´s lastest post..PhotoStory Friday – Christmas Morning 2008