Basically potty training can suck it.
I hate it. What’s really WRONG with diapers anyway?
We’ve spent the last few days with Carson in underwear, except for outings (more about that later) and bedtime. We’ve also spent the last few days going to bathroom every 10 minutes.
Carson has peed on the potty ONE flippity-flapping time in these past few days. ONE.TIME.
I KNOW you’re supposed to wait until a child is “ready.” Well what the hell is ready anyway? He can pull his pants up and down. He knows if he’s peed or pooped in his diaper, though he will vehemently deny the existence of said waste. Sure he’s screamed things like “NO UNDERWEAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! and “I want to wear DIAPEEEEEEEEEEEEERS.” But he’s a headstrong kid with his own ideas and his own plans of how to do everything, though. Sometimes he just needs a little nudge.
And hoo boy, I’ve been nudging. Smiling while nudging, OF COURSE, and being patient while nudging, OF COURSE, but NUDGING.
Nudging is exhausting.
We started by going to the potty every 30 minutes as recommended by some STUPID potty training website. What this STUPID potty training website failed to mention was that 30 minutes is probably too long. Since I know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results, I decided to head to the pot every 10 minutes instead. Have you ever hung out at a toilet EVERY 10 minutes before (besides after a night of excess in college)??? It’s still not fun.
Anyway, once he does actually potty train (like when he’s going off to COLLEGE, I’m guessing), how will we ever even leave the house? I mean, when a kid says they gotta go, THEY GOTTA GO, LIKE NOW! I’ve been imagining leisurely trips to Target being canceled because I had to pull over at a gas station, frantically trying to unbuckle TWO children from their car neats, screaming, “HOLD IT! Don’t pee, Carson! Wait!!” Running, dragging one toddler by the hand, the other in my arms, into the gas station just in time to see a wet ring form around Carson’s crotch.
And even if he was able to hold it?? Where is Ella supposed to hang out while I’m holding Carson over the toilet, attempting to keep his pristine hiney from touching the nasty, germ-infested toilet seat?? It’s not like she’ll politely stand right beside me, heeding mommy’s stern warnings not to touch ANYTHING. One kid crawling on a gas station floor while the other heavy one is being held over a toilet. This may very well be my version of hell.
It just occurred to me that I’ll have to always have extra clothes on hand so that WHEN this does happen, the leisurely Target trip won’t be canceled due to wet crotch issues. STILL. Potty training! I despise it.
No advice – just sympathy. It’s thoroughly horrible. Getting Miss E fully trained cost us a bike – maybe bring out the big bribes? Sorry, I mean reward?!
My only suggestion is one of those travel potty things for outings – I’d avoid a gas station restroom at all costs!
Annie´s lastest post..Happy Christmas!
With my oldest I read that book about training your child in one day, only I planned to stretch it over 2 weeks.
They tell you to buy a lot of yummy drinks the kid normally doesn’t get (we did capri suns), stay home ALL DAY (for us it was stay home for TWO WEEKS) and ask if they have to go potty all the time. My daughter told me to QUIT ASKING. Also, expect accidents.
It worked for us, and for trips to town we kept a spare potty, toilet paper and wipes (and plastic bags) in the back of the car for emergency pees. Nothing like standing on the side of the freeway with your kid peeing in the trunk!
Andrea’s Sweet Life´s lastest post..I Never Thought I’d Say This, But
I feel ya.
Potty training over Christmas WAS my goal but after being nearly deafened by cries of I WANT A DIAPER I’ve kidna given up.
Don Mills Diva´s lastest post..The healing power of slutty shoes
I bought into the pediatrician saying, “I’ve never heard of a kid going off to college in diapers.” So even though many thought I was crazy to not nudge my first-born until he was nearing 4, I waited. And it worked. The youngest, also a boy, did it right at 3 because he wanted to and it took in a couple of days. The in-between one? Horrors, horrors, horrors. False starts and stops galore. But she didn’t go to kindergarten in a diaper. (Much less college.)
patois´s lastest post..Haiku: Skin
My 3yo had NO interest in potty training until she realized she couldn’t go in the children’s play area at our local grocery store. I can’t tell you how much I LURVE Wegmans.
Mags´s lastest post..Countdown
We are finally completely potty trained at 3 1/2.
We tried putting targets in the toilet to aim at. And facing the toilet made him feel a little more secure on the big “potty” it meant a little more assitance getting the pants off. and now he uses the little potty chair and pulls up/down his pants on his own.Waiting for him to get tall enough to use stand out the toilet. He even dumps and rinses his out his own potty chair.
I’m working now on my youngest. My oldest was easy it was summer and he was outside all the time. I’m also not above just pulling over to the side of the road, parking lot, whatever and letting him go on the tire even in the winter. It is so much easier than dragging another one along into a store bathroom. So if you ever see a boy or two on the side of the road chances are that is me.
First – even once your child is totally potty trained – keep an extra set in the car at all times. Lesson learned for us while at a Christmas party and Quinn got sick to his stomach and shit his pants. Had to squeeze him into one of Liam’s diapers and a new pair of pants (that were meant for Liam).
Second – I used some book called, “Potty Training in One Day” which was a joke. It took us at least three days. And it sucked. Anyway – here’s my story about that if you’re interested. =) http://mccathy.blogspot.com/search/label/potty%20training
Cathy´s lastest post..Impulsive Shopping
I’m a big fan of diapers myself. And considering that my children still have issues I’m probably not the one to look to for advice. Just sayin’.
Headless Mom´s lastest post..Out With The Old..
We had one of those wet Target experiences. It sucked. And, have you tried pouring warm water on him? That helped us go at the beginning.
Anglophile Football Fanatic´s lastest post..Taking a Toke off the Pot
we are doing this right now too. and i agree, it sucks. i didn’t read all the comments but i am having a lot of peace of mind with the whole pull-up thing. i know it is “educational” to get wet and stinky and all that but a pullup is just easier on ME! plus when we go out, i know that i’m largely safe if something goes wrong.
and yes, we know where all the potties are. one of the malls around here has a “family room” and it has a kid-size potty. my kiddo can’t stop talking about how the mall had a “tiny potty” just for him. oy vey.
phyllis´s lastest post..13 Things I Love About Israel
We were all about the skittles as rewards.
Oh, The Joys´s lastest post..Romanza!
This post made me laugh out loud. I hated potty training my eldest, and know with 2 2 1/2 year olds, I don’t even want to think about it!!! Ugh. Hang in there. Yes, for awhile you will have to take extra clothes. We used to keep a potty in the car. Must easier and quicker than those nasty bathrooms! Good for those “emergencies”. How I missed diapers in the beginning because our trips had to be FAST! But it gets easier. About 1 year, you will feel safe to go out!! LOL. Just kidding!!
Jennifer Pletcher´s lastest post..It comes to an end.
Lots of good advice in the comments. You just have to do what works for you. And LMAO @ Marinka’s comment. I almost needed a diaper myself.
We always started potty training when the kids were able to say “Hey, I pooped” At that point, we’d ban the diapers. Then again, I have hardwood floors & a carpet cleaner. But they always hated having pee run down their legs. We always let the kids pick out their own undies & did the big hoopla stuff when they used the potty. We let them call grandparents who would give them huge praise & they a picture for the fridge and used that for putting their stickers on for all to see.
We bought pull-ups and called them night time panties/undies. Our excuse for using them on car rides was that “you always fall asleep in the car” Good luck to ya!!
Christina´s lastest post..My Wiley Dog
I can’t tell you how much I’m dreading potty training… for the exact reasons you wrote about! Seriously, unbuckling two kids to run into sketchy bathrooms, not my cup of tea.
Goodluck. Keep us posted if you find any potty training tricks!
Corinne´s lastest post..Is it still Monday?
The link to that baby suspension device was awesome. It also led me to the bizarre disembodied hands, which are the most frightening thing I’ve seen in a while.
I don’t have any new advice, besides plenty of extra clothes and the travel potty in the car. We also had to just force the issue, because my eldest refused to be ready ever.
all things BD´s lastest post..Fashion Tuesday
FOUR! My son was FOUR! OHMYGOD, I thought I’d lose my mind. He could pee his pants and act like everything was just fine.
BUT, when he started to use the potty, he was a champ. I don’t think he ever sat to pee—has been standing from Day 1. So, yeah, waiting until 4 was HARD, but so worth it. Good luck. My son was SO MUCH harder than my girls.
Fairly Odd Mother´s lastest post..Hell bound?
I was just going to toddle on, but I don’t like to drop in and not leave any trace of having been here, so, given that I’m sure that someone in the 67 comments that precede me said what I was going to say anyway, I’ll just say, Hey! and Take a deep breath.
lceel´s lastest post..And the beat goes on ….
I like how my son initially potty trained. He got mad at me one day during a diaper change, as he was wearing his Superman cape. “Superman no wear diapers! Superman wears underpants!”
Suddenly I had a lever. Took a few weeks to get it right, but that Superman cape turned out to be the greatest potty training tool ever.
For that round. Then we had a bunch of changes, he regressed, and we’ve finally about gotten things back on track. Regression sucks even more than the initial training.
Stephanie´s lastest post..Note to My Baby, at 8 Months Pregnant
Yet another part of Mommyhood I am SO not looking forward to!
Rachael´s lastest post..Heads or Tails: 3 Things I Learned in 2008
I am potty training right now. My son runs around the house, naked from the waist down. His potty chair used to be in the bathroom (when I would put him in underpants). But I moved the potty to just outside the bathroom (he has access to it anytime he wants) and stripped him. He goes in the potty all the time. He’s starting to recognize his body’s signals. He can’t yet say that he has to potty or pull down pants (this is why I leave him naked waist-down), so I’ve settled for this. I don’t think it could be considered truly “trained,” but he goes in the potty all the time (even poo!) and hasn’t had any accidents.
My son is 2 and I have dabbled with the potty on and off since he was about 14 months. He gets stickers for peeing (this more so when he was still using the potty inside the bathroom). Now he gets to flush the toilet after he pees and he really likes that. I have a special set of poo-poo cards that he gets only after he poos. I think they could really be anything. He just likes that they’re special. He can have them for the rest of the day after he poos.
Also, there are many books on “early” potty training. Seriously, children waiting until they are 4 years old to potty train is ridiculous (with certain exceptions, no doubt). Late training is so ludicrously tied to the diaper industry. I find it very interesting to read about these things and see the cultural and historical-time context of certain practices (I’m SO not trying to sound like an asshole here). Maybe you could start planting the potty training seed with Ella and that may light a fire under Carson’s butt. Just a thought.
Good luck! I have spent many nights hating potty training. I think it’s a process. I enjoy your blog and have been reading for a while. I am a fellow special educator myself and have to add that you shouldn’t worry too much about returning to work; the IEP’s and the paperwork and the politics are just as awful as you remember (definitely from the adult, mind-numbing, data-driven side… the kids are still great!).
Jennifer, your judgement is best as the ‘mom on the ground’ but it really sounds like he isn’t ready yet.
Bring out the big guns in bribery and if that doesn’t work, let it slide for a few more months – maybe until summer comes round?
Potty training B was one of the most difficult things I have done. Don’t worry he will eventually potty train, B did but it took a long time.
Michelle´s lastest post..I Love Saving Money!
Burgh Baby´s – can I give you an “AMEN!” on the stuck in traffic I have to go potty yell? My “I will be 7 next month” daughter does that to us and it drives me nuts!!
Potties should come with vodka dispensers!
The whole potty training readiness thing mystifies me.
(Not a mom here but I play one at school)
I am further confused by the show I saw on 20/20 the other night in which 8 year olds were being breast fed.
Laura´s lastest post..Gratituesday: Got a Light?
The sad thing is that the trip to Target will turn out exactly the way you described.
I lost count of the times I had to rush Mr Bump out of Coles, leaving an almost-full trolley behind.
I *do* know that the floor under the trolley had a puddle at least twice (& I had to ask kind staff to clean it up), although luckily the food was alright…
Jane @ Kidzarama´s lastest post..A Bird in the… What?
The second I stopped forcing my son to go, he went on his own. I bribed him with everything…even bought a new truck and put it in the bathroom….he didn’t care. He wasn’t ready. AND….he was so proud of himself when he finally did go….like it was his idea.
i DREAD the day we have to start training… i remember my mom kept a potty seat in the trunk for emergencies!
MommyNamedApril´s lastest post..Mommy Rant Award.
@Shanna I wish someone would have told me (like my pediatrician) that you can start PT early…of course, Carson has fought me on EVERYTHING since day 1 so it probably wouldn’t have worked. I’m definitely using this strategy with Ella.
@Average Girl Welcome! We kinda had a naked weekend this past weekend filled with all sorts of rewards, but he just didn’t get it…or he just WOULDN’T get it!
@Laura I’m mystified, too. I would have thought that having a heavy wet diaper on my crotch would stink compared to nice, dry underwear.
I forgot to mention – the average age for potty training is 35 months. Before that, it’s really just mommy training.
Wish I could remember how old Carson is. I do know that boys take longer than girls, which makes no sense.
Have you tried the ol’ “aim for the Cheerio in the toilet bowl” trick? If you make it fun…
Amy´s lastest post..Intimacy
I put the little potty in front of the TV and made the 2 yo boy run around naked for at least two weeks with lots of “go sit on the potty” demands and lots of M&M rewards. Worked great for the pee-pee part. He sort of completed the training after pooping in the pool a few months later.
I would definitely start your daughter now. Once he has a little competition, he may want to make sure he is first in the potty training dept.
Binks´s lastest post..Free Fall or Free for all – you decide
not going to give you my advice here, but if you want to know how I trained my twin boys (just before they turned 3) email me.
kj @ Where my boys at?´s lastest post..2008 Wrap-up
AMEN!! I have been toying with the idea of potty training our son for quite a few months now. We have a potty chair, we set it up, let him sit on it and explore. He peed in it once, by some random miracle and then it got set in the bathroom corner and forgot.
Then, one day, I decided this was going to be the day. I put him in underwear and was going to let him experience what it felt like to pee, get to know his signals and start sitting on the potty every hour. Not 5 minutes after I put him in underpants did he pee on my kitchen floor. And the sound of urine hitting my tile gets me hotter than heck. Far from him not being ready, I was not ready.
I think I’m going to wait until my daughter is closer to 1 & 1/2 (and he will be a little over 3) and potty train them both at the same time.
In the back of my mind, though, I’m just waiting for the day where they wake up and get it on their own – no painful training process.
Oh how I feel your pain. Been there – done that. Except not with two, which I canNOT even imagine. I have to tell you that I felt the exact same way and worried incessantly about how we would function on any outings, but once she got it, she GOT it! We had approximately one week of Hell that I thought would never end, and then the next week went better, and *POOF* she was trained. She woke up dry every morning, and she holds it when we’re out until we get to a potty or get home. (At first, we took our small Bjorn potty in the back of our SUV with us, so it was never far away, but only had to use it twice.) You can also use Pull-ups on outings for peace of mind.
It will happen. Until then…..there really is nothing wrong with diapers if that works for you. Don’t let people hurry you or him based on age. One day he’ll decide he likes underwear and the potty and the rest will be history.
For our potty experience, read here:
http://tinyurl.com/5dsz4z
and here:
http://tinyurl.com/6bws2f
PsychMamma´s lastest post..Getting Kids to Sleep Longer (so that maybe you can too)
[...] Let me tell you how I really feel about potty training [...]
Okay, so now I have to go back and read my own post from this morning about poop to see if it sounds arrogant.
Living in the Bay Area, I’ve been more than exposed to the Diaper Free/Infant Potty Training philosophy. I even subscribed to the Yahoo Groups. My lazy-mom version of early potty training is working for us so far in that I’m trying to make it fun and keep expectations low. Wish me luck!
Thank you for writing this. Thank everyone for sharing your successes and frustrations in the comments.
I realize now, having barely survived getting my kid to sleep through the night and nap during the day, I have a big mountain of poo to climb next.
Wheeeeeeeeeee.
Julie @ the calm before the stork´s lastest post..must have more
all I have to say is, potty chair in the car!! I know it sounds gross but that thing has been a lifesaver for me. I just keep it in the back with some plastic bags in case of poop and my clorox wipes. I’ve gotten very good at discretely dumping it out in parking lots.
Carrie´s lastest post..We have a light rail!!
Can I just say for the record that I just discovered you (came over from the greeblemonkey’s november photo contest that YOU WON) and I think I’m in love. Not in the romantic sense…but bloggy LOVE.
Sorry about how stalkerish that sounded. If I keep going it’s not going to sound better. so I’ll just leave you with “you are a new favorite, i’ve told all my friends and well…love”
D
Dana´s lastest post..Wordless Wednesday, Hiding Spot
[...] those of you who didn’t see this link in the comments section of my potty training post a few days ago, I think it’s only fair to be sure everyone sees this brilliant, hilarious, [...]
I’m guessing that now probably isn’t the time to let you know that Becca pretty much potty trained herself last fall? Night-time and all, even… Nah, I wouldn’t want to gloat or anything.
Then again, Hannah is now 6 and still wearing pull-ups at night, so I’m thinking we’ll end up sending them off with her to college at this point! LOL
As these are related to moms they get experience with the children. But this was great explanation which is useful to kids as well.
Dinissse´s lastest post..Ponce, Puerto Rico
This is going to sound gross to some but with multiple children to unbuckle to take one to the restroom before he pees in his pants I finally just started keeping an empty water bottle or soda bottle in the car. (Granted I have all boys) When one needed to pee NOW and there was no quick way to get everyone unbuckled, (generally put shoes back on at least two of them) and get the key from the gas station man before the one peed his pants I just pull over pull out the bottle have him stand up in the back, pee in it, put the lid on and toss it in the nearest trash can. That grosses my sister in law out, but it beats the alternative…peed in pants or struggling to keep all the other kids from touching anything in the filthy bathroom *shudders*.
Ohhhh the joys of potty training! I really feel like for me- JUST when I thought I could NOT stand it any longer-they figured it out….I hope that is this case for you too! This article will make you laugh
Good Luck!
http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Let_the_potty_training_begin.html
I feel your pain. Both my boys pooped in their underwear for a total of 5 months. Well, the angels finally sang on me and they are both potty trained. Seriously awesome when that happens. Although the youngest does like to pee all over the bathroom, its like a firehose. Anyway, good luck, it does suck.
Mother of six. Had a wise pediatrician tell me years ago, “Do NOT potty-train,” “Do not mention it.” “Leave it alone.” “The kid will let you know.” He commented that he had “never seen a 16 y/o yet that isn’t potty trained.” I listened, and I’m glad. No stress to me or kid, no fuss, no muss. All “trained” between ages of 2yr.2mos. and 4 yrs. When they decided to “train,” it took all of ONE DAY, and they were done. No accidents (unless you count the time I gave an orange soda to my daughter too close to bedtime! Not her fault. Mine.)