Both of my children were sick this weekend, either with walking pneumonia or bronchitis, the doctor wasn’t certain. Either way, both children were whiny and pitiful, I decided to go shopping anyway on Saturday and allow Tate some quality time with his children.
Because I’m not as bad as a mother as that, I didn’t leave for my shopping venture/escape until after I had prepared the childrens’ lunches. Though I was hungry myself, the thought of someone ELSE making my lunch won out over my growling stomach. It was raining AGAIN, (OF COURSE it was), on Saturday, so I decided the mall was the best place to shop, eat, and get a bra fitting all under one dry roof.
That’s right. A bra fitting.
I’d never actually had a bra fitting. Before kids, I could go to TJ Maxx, find the cheapest 34 C on the rack, and not worry about it not fitting. My girls still had spring in their step back then, if you know what I mean, and there was never any gathering at the top of my bra or boob spillage out of the bottom creating a double boob effect. Then I had two babies whom I breastfed, and BOY OH BOY did I have BOOBIES for a short, but glorious time. I never was offered a spread in Playboy, which is disappointing, because those boobs? Were damn NICE.
So anyway back to my current boobs, they were in need of a properly fitted bra. I parked at Dillard’s, which in hindsight was foolish due to my nagging hunger. How long could a bra fitting really take? I mean, I only have two boobs to measure.
Apparently it takes awhile. First there’s the measuring, then there’s the trying on. I’ve now learned that just because you measure as a 30 C (who knew!), that doesn’t mean that’s the actual size of bra you’ll need. Molded cups, soft cups, push-up cups, different brands, there was a LOT to consider when properly locking and loading the girls. After what seemed like hours, I finally chose two bras that seemed to fit and brought my girls back to their pre-baby stage. I paid (too much) for my bras and headed to the food court, the finest place to dine alone.
And promptly gorged myself on chicken teriyaki, vegetables, and rice.
Tate was practically foaming at the mouth and had a wild look of hunger in his eyes by the time I got home. On the phone on my drive home from the mall, I’d called and told him about my brand new, perky boobies. I promised a private viewing when I arrived home. It was the least I could do to make up for his long day with two sick children.
I tried on the first one, but something was WRONG! I could barely get it fastened. When I did finally get it fastened, after having broken a sweat and a few nails, I looked in the mirror and saw my previously perky boobies peeking out of the top of my bra. “Helloooo!” my boobies waved. And the back fat, back fat (loaded up with things and knickknacks, too)! You are not supposed to see excess boobage and back fat! The bra was TOO SMALL. A 30 C, I was not.
How could these bras have fit five hours before?? Damn chicken teriyaki.
Here’s my question. I can’t wear them, unless I plan on only wearing them on days I won’t be eating, which is pretty rare. I haven’t removed the tags, but I feel like a dunce, having tried them on, even having HELP when I tried them on. I hate having to return things, especially something like a bra, which I don’t even know CAN be returned? What do you think, can I return the bras?
(PSST…today is Delurking day (brainchild of Rude Cactus and Greeblemonkey) Feel free to leave a comment and say hello, even if it’s not about my bra issues. I totally understand if you don’t want to participate in a discussion about my boobs.)
Kristy
January 12, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Take thoses babies back. I’ll never have that problem, because I always make the food court stop number one. {blushes and realizes WHY I’m not a 30C}
Kristy´s lastest post..Note My New Sidebar
Jennifer A
January 12, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I grab a handful of bras and head to a fitting room until 1) I find one that fits
2) I get depressed and eat an Elmo cookie at Mrs Fields.
After my mom took me shopping for my first bra, its been too traumatic to have anyone measure me.
Jennifer A´s lastest post..I’m just not ready for this
rachel
January 12, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Jennifer, turn around and take them back honey. You spend that much money, gorging on Chinese food should not make a difference, I don’t care how well they fit 5 hours before.
don’t waste the money. Take Tate with you next time
you’ll both enjoy it 
Cynthia
January 12, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Ah, the post-breastfeeding breasts. Nothing says “thanks for feeding your kids” like a pair of sagging boobs. Geesh. You would think if life was fair, you’d be rewarded for your efforts by having them revitalized during the weaning process!
Cynthia´s lastest post..Presenting…Hannah Montana!
patois
January 12, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Before you return them, go overboard in the food court again. Then try them on for the fitter. They’ll take them back.
patois´s lastest post..Thunder Road
Jen
January 12, 2009 at 8:12 pm
I hate returning things too, but in this case, I definitely think I would. Bras are SO expensive (good ones, at least) and they need to fit just right, otherwise they’re annoying as all get out.
Jen´s lastest post..one down, two to go.
the planet of janet
January 12, 2009 at 8:49 pm
i dont always lurk. i comment too… but i cant resist delurking for BOOOOOOOBS.
heh
the planet of janet´s lastest post..There’s no crying in cheerleading. Oh, wait. Yes there is…
Erin
January 12, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Yep! Every time I get fitted for a bra, I end up getting it wrong somehow! Seems I do better fitting myself!
Erin´s lastest post..I Should Be Sleeping…
Cathy
January 12, 2009 at 9:00 pm
so am I supposed to leave a comment if I don’t lurk?
Bras.
I used to struggle with bra-fits – then I found Essential Body Wear. If you can’t find a rep in your area become one. I swear to god they’re the best thing that has happened for women. Seriously. One of my parents from work sells these bras and is making a crapload of money because the company is fairly new.
Or just find a rep and get one – you’ll love it.
Oh – and return the bras that don’t fit – especially if they were just a bit expensive. =)
Cathy´s lastest post..Happy Monday!
Anglophile Football Fanatic
January 12, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Dayum, Jennifer. You say delurk and the whole of blogdom shows! I wonder: where do you go about getting fitted? I need to do that. My girl and guy are pathetic and don’t quite fit in the bra.
Anglophile Football Fanatic´s lastest post..An Open Letter to Mr Cheese
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:01 pm
@Lori Maybe a fitting at Motherhood Maternity??
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:04 pm
@PsychMamma EW! To think someone else’s boobs have touched my bras!
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:05 pm
@andria You haven’t worn a bra!?! My poor boobies would be at my ankles without a bra.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@Barbara Yes! They mutated! That MUST be the problem…or so I can only wish.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:07 pm
@Mel Well actually I’m off to a vomit filled week, but I do appreciate you asking!
It can only go uphill from here!
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:08 pm
@Jennifer Pletcher Aside from the fact that my bra fitter was WRONG, it was a rather pleasant experience. Not awkward in the least bit.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:09 pm
@rachel Well I do want my boobs to look nice when I meet you next month! I better go get the right size!
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:10 pm
@Cynthia I know! The very least we could be given reprieve from stretch marks. I think feeding your child with your own body should be worth something. Certainly NOT flappy boobs.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:11 pm
@patois you don’t have to tell me twice to overboard at the food court!
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:12 pm
@Jen I cannot handle annoying bras! It’s never mattered before because they’ve never cost more than $7 or $10.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@janet I’m so glad you commented just because of my boobs. They feel extra special and perky right now because of you.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:14 pm
@Erin Now that I know what to look for in a good fit, I think I’ll just fit myself!
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 10:15 pm
@AFF You can go to most any department store for a fitting, or Victoria’s secret, or Fredericks of Hollywood if you’re into that kinda thing.
I think in the future I’ll just go try them on by myself.
Jennifer
January 12, 2009 at 11:20 pm
@Cathy I’m going to have to look into this! This could be my key to becoming rich…
Rachael
January 12, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Yeah, you can definitely return those. Do it!
Rachael´s lastest post..I Can Hear You Breathing
Dana
January 13, 2009 at 12:58 am
here I was worried about sounding stalkerish and you share your boobies with the whole world.
thank you for that, regardless. lol
Dana
Dana´s lastest post..Unsettling
Smalltowngirl
January 13, 2009 at 1:12 am
I think you should return the bras- it’s not your fault they did not fit if they helped you pick them out!!!!
Smalltowngirl´s lastest post..Recipe: Cheddar and Vegetable Quiche
Dana
January 13, 2009 at 2:07 am
Oh! Also…on a Jennifer Weinger scale of “Do Not Waste Your Time” to “Ravishingly Amazing”, Certain Girls was “Non-life Altering”. She is one of my all time favorite authors, but this book was not one of my favorites. It was slow to start and I actually interrupted it once to read “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn”, which I NEVER do. I never interrupt one book for another, and no matter how terrible a book is, I continue to push through. It did get better…and who knows I may have been in a slump when I read it. Give it a go and see what you think. Not one of my faves, but it IS Jennifer so always worth it.
Dana
Dana´s lastest post..Unsettling
casas rurales en burgos
January 13, 2009 at 5:51 am
Nordstrom’s does a great job at bra fitting. They do extensive training of their fitters. I’ve been twice – each time after I weaned from nursing (my size changed, sigh…). But I like Victoria’s Secret bra selection better. So last time I got fitted at Nordies and then bought at VS. Their new bio-fit bra is great — esp for a good post-nursing lift!
tracey
January 13, 2009 at 10:21 am
Hmmm. Never had THAT happen with a bra before! But I’d call the store and explain what the situation is.
Karly
January 13, 2009 at 10:36 am
Bras can totally be returned. I once returned a water bra (remember those stupid things?) to a young man at Target. It was embarrassing.
Karly´s lastest post..A Glimpse
Teresa
January 13, 2009 at 10:47 am
Too typical: I’m late for Delurking Day. But participating nonetheless! And the bra issues? I just weaned my last baby and am apparently experiencing some post-traumatic-stress issues about the whole bit. You have my sympathies.
Teresa´s lastest post..For real, part two
Sarah
January 13, 2009 at 10:57 am
Definitely take them back!! You didn’t spend (too much) money for bras that you can’t wear!!!
I seriously need a fitting…but my boobs go too far south for me to not be properly embarassed by the thought of anyone seeing them (including my hubs…not that he’s a boob man…he’s a leg man
)
Sarah´s lastest post..So that’s why they call it a “work” out…
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:06 am
@Dana I’m working on my “I need your help making my 2009 booklist” post right now! I’m going to keep Certain Girls on the list, but at least now I know I may need to interrupt it with another book!
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:07 am
@Smalltowngirl I know, but I just hate returning things and I just know they’re going to give me the evil eye and think I’m crazy for returning something I tried on!
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:07 am
@casas rurales en burgos Darn! We don’t have Nordstrom’s here. I need a trained bra fitter!
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:08 am
@Karly Oh I remember water bras. They are the only way I ever got noticed in college.
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:09 am
@Teresa Better late than never! I still have mixed feeling about not nursing anymore. I miss the one on one time with my kiddos, but it IS nice that my boobs are ALL MINE again!
Jennifer
January 13, 2009 at 11:10 am
@Sarah My husband is a boob man, he could care less if they’re perky or sagging to my ankles!
Amy
January 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Hi! I’m reading
Love your site!
Amy´s lastest post..ireland, part 2: grand tour of cork
Aimee Greeblemonkey
January 13, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Oy! What’s shakin?
VDog
January 14, 2009 at 12:20 am
definitely return the bras. and call the woman a cracker while you’re at it.
:0)
VDog´s lastest post..Cheddar Bunnies!
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
January 14, 2009 at 10:36 am
Definitely take them back. They’ve got to have some sort of “we measured you wrong” policy. Cuz there’s no way one meal could have made them fit so horribly wrong!
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins´s lastest post..Uh oh!
Smalltowngirl
January 14, 2009 at 10:42 pm
I know what you mean about returning things but I would do it!!! (and maybe never return there again
Smalltowngirl´s lastest post..Just in Case
heather
January 15, 2009 at 10:30 am
I’m totally late on this but I would like to tell you:
I don’t think the Dillard’s ladies know what they are doing. I was told I was a 32DD which I most certainly am NOT. For the exact same reason – I can barely fasten a 32 and due to the cost of deflation I am NOT a DD.
Totally take them back – bras are too expensive to keep ones that don’t fit.
Larry J
December 5, 2009 at 12:13 pm
It is very important that moms help their teens learn how to be fitting for bras. Especially for their first bra. This will help her as she matures to select the right size.
Larry J @ Girls Training Bras´s last blog ..Privacy