Both of my children were sick this weekend, either with walking pneumonia or bronchitis, the doctor wasn’t certain. Either way, both children were whiny and pitiful, I decided to go shopping anyway on Saturday and allow Tate some quality time with his children.
Because I’m not as bad as a mother as that, I didn’t leave for my shopping venture/escape until after I had prepared the childrens’ lunches. Though I was hungry myself, the thought of someone ELSE making my lunch won out over my growling stomach. It was raining AGAIN, (OF COURSE it was), on Saturday, so I decided the mall was the best place to shop, eat, and get a bra fitting all under one dry roof.
That’s right. A bra fitting.
I’d never actually had a bra fitting. Before kids, I could go to TJ Maxx, find the cheapest 34 C on the rack, and not worry about it not fitting. My girls still had spring in their step back then, if you know what I mean, and there was never any gathering at the top of my bra or boob spillage out of the bottom creating a double boob effect. Then I had two babies whom I breastfed, and BOY OH BOY did I have BOOBIES for a short, but glorious time. I never was offered a spread in Playboy, which is disappointing, because those boobs? Were damn NICE.
So anyway back to my current boobs, they were in need of a properly fitted bra. I parked at Dillard’s, which in hindsight was foolish due to my nagging hunger. How long could a bra fitting really take? I mean, I only have two boobs to measure.
Apparently it takes awhile. First there’s the measuring, then there’s the trying on. I’ve now learned that just because you measure as a 30 C (who knew!), that doesn’t mean that’s the actual size of bra you’ll need. Molded cups, soft cups, push-up cups, different brands, there was a LOT to consider when properly locking and loading the girls. After what seemed like hours, I finally chose two bras that seemed to fit and brought my girls back to their pre-baby stage. I paid (too much) for my bras and headed to the food court, the finest place to dine alone.
And promptly gorged myself on chicken teriyaki, vegetables, and rice.
Tate was practically foaming at the mouth and had a wild look of hunger in his eyes by the time I got home. On the phone on my drive home from the mall, I’d called and told him about my brand new, perky boobies. I promised a private viewing when I arrived home. It was the least I could do to make up for his long day with two sick children.
I tried on the first one, but something was WRONG! I could barely get it fastened. When I did finally get it fastened, after having broken a sweat and a few nails, I looked in the mirror and saw my previously perky boobies peeking out of the top of my bra. “Helloooo!” my boobies waved. And the back fat, back fat (loaded up with things and knickknacks, too)! You are not supposed to see excess boobage and back fat! The bra was TOO SMALL. A 30 C, I was not.
How could these bras have fit five hours before?? Damn chicken teriyaki.
Here’s my question. I can’t wear them, unless I plan on only wearing them on days I won’t be eating, which is pretty rare. I haven’t removed the tags, but I feel like a dunce, having tried them on, even having HELP when I tried them on. I hate having to return things, especially something like a bra, which I don’t even know CAN be returned? What do you think, can I return the bras?
(PSST…today is Delurking day (brainchild of Rude Cactus and Greeblemonkey) Feel free to leave a comment and say hello, even if it’s not about my bra issues. I totally understand if you don’t want to participate in a discussion about my boobs.)
Am I really the first to comment? So exciting.
And yeah, I would totally return them. Then find something that really fits and buy a bunch so you don’t have to endure the torture of bra shopping for awhile.
Beth´s lastest post..little runaway
you should SOOO return them. Just tell them they do not fit right. dillards takes ANYTHING back if it has that yellow sticker they put on when they ring you up on the back of the tag.
I had no idea they even made bras in a size 30. My understanding is that the rest of the world begins at a 38D. No? Just me and my wide trunk??? Awesome.
You should totally return them and get the right size. No one should forego teriyaki chicken to fit into their bra.
all things BD´s lastest post..Please Don’t Kill Harold
HECK YEAH you are going to return them! And pronto. Bras are expensive and they have the tags on them! Take them back now and pick out a lovely 32C or 34C and you will be happier. And so will your girls.
The Glamorous Life´s lastest post..Swedish Rock Band #7: Norrlandspojkarna med Inger
Hey, even when I find the right bra in the right size and go back to buy a new one? I still have to try them on and sometimes they don’t fit. Never thought it could be a food issue… interesting!
But yea, I would totally take them back. You need a good bra and not some too small ones taunting you from your drawer!
Krista´s lastest post..CPSIA Issue
I agree… take them back. And BTW, I’m so happy you fixed that wonky thing your comments were doing.
Christina´s lastest post..Going To School
Not really a lurked, but not as frequent a commenter as I oughta be. So: hi!
And you made the kids’ lunches before you left? Isn’t that promoting learned helplessness? Then again, it gets ‘em fed, I guess.
Doodaddy´s lastest post..Daddy Boobs
In honor of your de-lurking request, I hereby type my first comment. I love your blog!
…
And, YES return the boulder holders for some better cleavage-enhancing equipment comfortably sized to fit even after a full stomach. By the way, I miss Dillards. They don’t have a store in California.
Monique´s lastest post..Ferber – Day 2
Hello!
marit´s lastest post..Random
I have had the *exact* same thing happen before, and I did take the Bra in question back and exchange it.
Then I went bra shopping a few days later(I was looking for one for a certain dress) and tried on ones in the size I had bought 2 days prior and NONE of them fit.
*waves* De-lurking btw.
A good bra should lift and hold, separate and mold.
Return them!
I have massive boobies now due to pregnancy… up 3 sizes. I just went to Victorias Secret and had the lady in the room with me while I tried on bras… (hello slightly embarassing). But she fitted the ladies absolutely perfectly.
I’m now sold on the Angel Bras… and they’re even on sale!
If you want a REALLY good bra… try the Chantelle’s. They’re pricey – but SO worth it!
I’m sure that your kids can incorporate them in their Tampon-play! (the bras, not your boobs)
Marinka´s lastest post..Nice Capades
Return them! A good bra is no good if you can’t fit into it.
Veronica´s lastest post..Nope.
Ugh, bras. I can never find one th at fits. I think you should take them back if they don’t work. No point in spending the money and not getting the thing you want or need!
wright´s lastest post..
You can TOTALLY take them back. As long as you’re a C or higher. Which you are. So you’re golden. And yes, always shop for bras in the evening, on your PMSiest day of the month. Trust me, I’ve been in your, um, shoes. (You can blame Maria for me previously lurking and now butting my nose into your boobie business.)
Zoeyjane´s lastest post..On Drawing the Line
Take those suckers back! Maybe eat tons of food first!!
SabrinaT´s lastest post..An Award!!
return them! totally return them!!!
MommyNamedApril´s lastest post..Speechless Sunday.
I just wrote a post about boobs on Friday – so I feel like an expert today.
I would say DEFINITELY go back and return them. If they don’t fit, they don’t fit – and you shouldn’t have to be stuck with them.
If they ask (which they won’t), just say they didn’t fit once you got them home. It’s not your fault!!
Good luck with the girls!
Sarah´s lastest post..Seriously?
At my last bra fitting, the woman tried to convince me that my DDs should fit in a B. Not so much.
Gina´s lastest post..A Winner and a Cool New Prize
I agree … Take them back.
I spent an hour being fitted and trying on bras one day, and have discovered since buying four that the two with the balcony style cup are THE BEST, and the other two … let’s just say that every so often during the day I have to make sure that I’m still in both cups!!!
Try it. Take them back, make them take pity on you and get re-measured at the same time, after chicken teryiaki (or however you spell it).
I say return them–especially since you had help. An experienced fitter should have been able to see that they wouldn’t fit. What a pain in the rear. Sorry.
Mom24@4evermom´s lastest post..Meal Plan #41
OK – I’m de-lurking. I would say since you paid so much for the bra, return it. They are too expensive to keep them and not wear them.
Moni´s lastest post..From the mouth of a child
Bra fittings are like hell for me, lol.
Delurking, because that’s what the cool cats do.
girl´s lastest post..6/365 the end of the road
My what pretty boobies you have!
Shelly´s lastest post..Hark! Who Goes There??
I’m not going to lurk today. I had the same problem with a bra I was fitted for, but the store wouldn’t let me return it. I think I still have that bra in the vain hope that I will someday fit into it.
Oh, and thank you for writing such a hilarious blog, I love starting off my day with your adventures.
Ally´s lastest post..Blogger Butt
THAT’S what I should be doing for a living. Bra fitting. Because computers are driving me crazy. At least if I was a Bra Fitter, I’d feel like I was doing something constructive – and having fun, too.
lceel´s lastest post..Questions and Answers
Definitely return them. I have had similar bra issues lately. I returned one and stupidly kept one. The one I kept makes me look as though I am wearing a rubber flotation device around my waist, such fabulous lift it gives my poor old saggy girls!
Ali´s lastest post..A Battle of Words
I can’t wait to go for a fitting once I’m done nursing…and down 20lbs. (Ha. When’ll that be? 2012?) My second-time-around nursing bras have the girls halfway to my waist. It’s a sad sight.
And yes, return them, I say!
Must Be Motherhood´s lastest post..what i (still) miss
I’m glad there’s no “jock fitting” for men. Can you imagine the number of men who would commit suicide after that?
So 30 C? Wow, either you are tiny or they got it all wrong. My wife had breast-o-plenty post birth. Cruelest trick God plays on a husband. “Here’s your wife’s giant boobs you can’t play with.”
Knot
Knot´s lastest post..What’s On Jef’s Cell Phone And On Jef’s Mind
Oh yeah..return those bras!! Happy Delurking day!
Sandi´s lastest post..Saturday…
Take ‘em back.
And I have NEVER had a bra fitting go well and like the bras they put me in. They always were too tight and my girls felt like they were trying to escape.
P.S. Giggles hates when I call them the “girls” She said it is creepy-glad I am not the only one.
Domestic Extraordinaire´s lastest post..Haiku Friday
I bet those bra ladies have heard this before! I say take them back and get ones that fit.
And I heard delurking week ended Saturday. Am so confused.
catnip´s lastest post..hello out there
Good Morning. TAKE THEM BACK!! Dillards is great about returns and if your really embarrassed go to a different dept and return them in that one.Sadly my girls are too big to fit into normal store size bras…damn ddd’s.
RETURN THEM (so sayeth the chick who has a drawer full of ill-fitting bras and refuses to part with them because there was a brief moment when they fit perfectly and it just might happen again someday).
Burgh Baby´s lastest post..Lots of Sighing Going On Around Here
The cashier mixed them up. I would definitely return them!
Auburn Gal Always (Keri)´s lastest post..new sucker
Ugh. My tiny, saggy boobs are sneaking out below my bra band right now. Bought at Target for 7.99.
Definitely return those bras!
Anna See´s lastest post.."Fun Mom"
It sounds as if, when you were out shopping, you missed the instructional program “My Big Breasts and Me” on BBCAmerica (shown just yesterday afternooon!). They showed someone getting a fitting and how the bra should properly fit. I’m sure the people doing your fitting would have welcomed your helpful, informed comments, so be sure to check it next time it’s on!
On another note, I do hope it was the Japanese place, rather than the Chinese place in the food court, where you got your chicken teriyaki. “Why yes, I do believe I’ll have the double meat for only 99 cents more.” Yummy and such a bargain!
Lisa A.´s lastest post..Confessions of a frustrated reader
Return them! Way to pricey to keep.
And why after the first time washing the things(by hand), do they never fit the same again?
Amy´s lastest post..An Ideal Clean Up
Try them on another day when you didn’t consume enough sodium to kill a dog and see how they fit.
That is my professional opinion!
Connie @ Young and Relentless´s lastest post..I Did Something Right
Take them back! If you’re going to spend good money you should have good-quality, erm, goods.
Angella´s lastest post..On Faith
I hate taking things back too, but when you paid that much for them you should get your money back. I think as long as the tags are still on, it should be fine.
Come say “hi” on my blog too. I’m participating in Delurking Day.
Mommy Daisy´s lastest post..Help cheer me up
Oh, yeah. Return them. Otherwise they will stare at you and unnecessarily make you feel fat every time you open your panty drawer. (If you even could put a 30(!) around you and snap it up at some point, you are SO NOT.) But still, you don’t want that, trust me!
Ashlie- Mommycosm´s lastest post..Closing in on HER…
Take them back. It’s their mistake.
And don’t get fitted at Dillards. They are a bunch of boobs. (har!)
I got fitted there and they told me the COMPLETE wrong size. She said I was a 38A.
SO WRONG! I’ve not been an A since 6th grade.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s lastest post..How to find and woo an internet blog lover
Return!!! This time, eat lunch first. lol
Devan´s lastest post..Resolution Update
I’d totally take the bras back. There is almost nothing worse than an uncomfortable bra!
Hey, I’m here and I’m always here – reading and laughing and nodding in agreement, but rarely finding the time to comment.
Oh, and on the bra front? Just imagine when you start our 36DD before kids. Oy
Christina´s lastest post..Shoot the Moon
Hi. I’m Krisha.
Mom to Hanah 4 and Lucy 2.
Step-mom to Em.16
Wife to husband J..
I love your blog!
Take them bad boys back. Sodium fluctuations be damned.
Return the little mothers. Little. Srsly? You measured at a 30C?
Just so you know, it’s common. I measured at 34C and had the same problem-went up to a 36 and they are as close to perfect as you can get I think. There is a conspiracy in the industry I think. Buy these! and then when you get them home they don’t work, enticing us to go spend more. Gah!
Headless Mom´s lastest post..Football! (Like we haven’t had enough of it this season.)
Definitely return them and then go to another store to try some on and buy them. Dillard’s is ridiculously overpriced, especially in their lingerie department. And they don’t even carry the reasonably priced brands, like Vanity Fair. I recommend a Barely There front close, racer back from Penney’s. They fit like air. You can forget you are wearing a bra and that’s saying a lot.
Mrs. Who´s lastest post..Could This Recipe BE Any Easier?