Some days are orderly and scheduled. We wake up early, I shower, we have a goal and a plan for the day. It could be as small as a trip to Target or even to the post office. Breakfast is served, followed by a snack around 10, lunch at noon, naps at 2. The house is tidy, free of stray toys underfoot, the beds are made, I’m wearing make-up, I may not even look at the computer until late afternoon when the children are napping.
On these days I feel accomplished. The children watch less TV, I interact directly with them more. These are the days that I feel the best, or at least better.
But then there are most days.
These are the days where I have nothing planned. We eat breakfast, I forget to shower, later I forget to serve a snack. At 12:15 I realize that I’m late serving lunch and that I’m still wearing pajamas. The majority of the day has been spent either in front of the television or in front of the computer. I don’t like these days because wearing pajamas seems like a great idea in the morning, but by afternoon, it makes me feel like a loser. I don’t like these days because I feel guilty for not having some fun and educational activity with the kids.
In the event that I do decide to get myself and the kids out the door, it’s usually too late because by the time I’ve showered and found the children’s shoes, it’s nearly noon. It would be foolish to take the children out at lunchtime or this close to naptime.
On these lazy days I rush to get the house in order, dishes washed, mail put in it’s proper place, toys thrown back in the playroom before Tate comes home. I’d hate for Tate to see that we basically did nothing for the entire day. These days kind of embarrass me.
I’m trying to forgive and allow myself to enjoy, or at least not beat myself up, on these days. Of course, I’ve been trying this for three years as a stay at home mom, but really for probably longer I’ve hated these types of days.
Despite most of my days being seemingly unproductive, my house is still somehow mostly clean, aside from some handprints on the windows, some dust on the end tables, and crumbs under the children’s chairs. I sometimes completely forget about laundry that has become increasingly wrinkled waiting in the dryer, but more importantly, my family wears clean underwear and socks everyday. I provide 3 mostly healthy meals everyday, and sometimes I even remember snacks.
When can I allow myself to be at peace with this life and not feel like I must DO and FACILITATE everyday? What’s really so wrong with not showering one day when I won’t see anyone but my children and husband? Pajamas all day at least mean that I don’t dirty more outfits.
What are your days like? Do you allow yourself these lazy days?