1. We will be eating chili for the next 4 months due to my gross overestimation of our Superbowl party attendance. On one hand, I do love the fact that dinner can be heated in the microwave, voila! dinner is SERVED!, but on the other hand…chili. For the next 4 months. My poor husband’s ass and my family’s poor noses may never recover.
2. Unsupervised children will rearrange furniture and dismantle a painstakingly assembled Thomas layout in 2.3 seconds.
3. Legos and games with many parts should be hidden prior to the start of the party.
4. When many children are together, they become chronic tattle tells. I finally had to tell the tattlers that unless they saw blood, they weren’t allowed to talk to me.
5. I should have added “Carson naked” to the list of reasons to come talk to me.
6. The dryer is a good place to find missing children.
7. Watch out for one of the guest’s homemade wine.
8. Husbands need very specific “how to get ready for a party” instructions. Unpacking the talking deer head/karaoke machine was not on that list.