Preschool is not going well.
I was so sure that this attempt at preschool would be more successful than the last because last time, I was in the classroom with him. I’ve heard from everyone that he’d act just fine once he was on his own.
I arrived a few minutes early to pick Carson up today so that I could speak with the director about his behavior since I’d heard from his teacher last week that he’d had a “hard week.” Apparently he acts at school the same way he acts at home. He is defiant, he doesn’t like to have too many kids around, and he barely eats lunch.
One of my shoulders wants to shrug and say, “It’s your problem on Tuesdays and Thursdays suckers. I am PAYING you (so that I can have a break from him).” I certainly enrolled him in preschool because I think he needs the experience and the opportunities for learning, but honestly? I need a break from him.
My other shoulder wants to slump because I want the teachers to like him, but it’s really hard to like a kid who is so whiny and so defiant. I hate that he isn’t like so many kids that act rotten at home, but good as gold at school. It’s hard to hear that my son isn’t adjusting to school and that his days keep getting worse. I feel guilty that I’m making him do something that he really doesn’t want to do because I really need some time away from him.
I should have mentioned this already, but it’s only the 4th day of school. Logically it doesn’t seem completely implausible that a three-year-old might have some behavior issues and might have a hard time adjusting to school. I wouldn’t blame you if you’re reading this thinking that I’m overreacting.
But I know my son and everything we’ve ever done has been a battle, at least in the beginning, and if he isn’t handled properly, it will be impossible to make any progress. Everything I’ve ever enrolled him in has been a battle. I feel like this round of preschool is the IN MY FACE crystal ball that is showing me the future saying, “DO YOU FINALLY SEE THAT CARSON IS A DIFFICULT KID AND THIS WHOLE SCHOOL THING IS GOING TO SUCK?!”
Of course I’m going to give Carson a chance to adjust and I’m going to offer some behavior management techniques that could help them manage him throughout the day. Maybe he’ll improve. Maybe.
It’s just that I’m not particularly optimistic. He has always had trouble in group situations. Story time was always been a battle. We went for nearly two years and it was a battle nearly every time. I continued to take him because “it would get better.” “He’s only 18 months old!” He’s only two! Kids are terrible when they’re two.” The program I enrolled him in while living in Indiana was a giant nervous sweat fest for myself because he always resisted the group activities. “Oh it’s because I’m here. If I wasn’t here, he’d be fine.” “We just moved, he’s been through so much.” “This is a whole new experience, I just need to give it some time.”
I think there’s a very discernible pattern here. Carson flat out doesn’t care for group activities and doesn’t like to follow directions.
I’m just not sure how much time to give him. I mean, we have like 15 more years of traditional school ahead of us.