When Tate and I imagined our family, when it was just the two of us, we always said we wanted two boys. I’m not exactly sure why Tate said that, maybe because I said that and he wanted to be agreeable. I know that I said I wanted boys because I was afraid of having a daughter and having her deal with the viciousness of mean girls and heartache and 7th grade.
Both of our children were meticulously planned. I read books about getting pregnant and being pregnant. I charted my cycles for several months leading up to when we’d actually start trying to make a baby, I had an annual exam for that cursory look at the health of my reproductive parts, I began taking folic acid. Tate took vitamins, a Men’s One-a-Day.
When it was finally go-time and my charts indicated the best time to make a boy, that’s exactly what happened. We made a beautiful baby boy that we named Carson. Ten months later we decided to do it all over again, but this time was different. I still charted, but I was so tired and sometimes I forgot to take my temperature in the morning and sometimes I’d take my temperature twice, accidentally.
At this point in the story, Tate swears that I subconsciously wanted a girl, so I goofed up my chart and fixed things so that we’d conceive a girl instead of a boy.
I say that I was an exhausted, fairly new mom who goofed up my chart and surprise! We conceived a girl.
(It’s highly probable that Tate is right on this one.)
I remember vividly the way my heart felt and the way the tears that welled up in my eyes felt when the sonographer said that our little blob on the screen looked like a girl. I remember the joy and secret relief. “A girl! A girl!” I wanted to shout, but I couldn’t because of the lump in my throat.
I’m still afraid of raising a girl. I should be equally afraid of raising a boy, and I am, but I KNOW how hard it is to grow up as a girl. Despite all that, I can’t imagine a life without my girl.
And today is my little girl’s second birthday.
I’m so thankful that I know her and have the distinct honor of loving her as my daughter.
I love her infectious giggle, her soft, round face, and golden ringlets. I love that she loves me most of all, except sometimes when she loves her brother or her daddy the most, but I love that, too. I love that when you ask her a question, she’s says, “Yeah. Okay.” I love that she loves John Deere tractors and shoes equally. I love that she holds my face in her hands to give me a kiss. I love that she is the messiest child ever, with a perpetually peanut butter smudged face, dirt covered knees, and chocolate milk stained shirts.
I love my girl.
Happy birthday, Ella.
Happy Birthday, Ella!
I have my own fear/excitement to sort out about about having a girl, so this was a particularly touching post to me. Thanks!
I was so afraid of raising a girl, too. But it’s awesome, isn’t it?
Happy birthday, sweet Ella.
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Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl! Mine turns 2 on Tuesday. So grown up!
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Happy Birthday Ella!
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Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…
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Happy Birthday Ella!
I was also afraid of raising a girl and always wanted two boys. Now that I’ve got my two boys – I want a girl! I think I can do it. But, do I want another boy? Three boys in one house? Yikes!
Anyway – Happy Birthday Ella! And two! Two years old!
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God gave me boys, and I am grateful. I’m not sure how I would handle having a girl.
Also, telling people that you are thinking about thinking about trying to have another apparently spurs the EXACT SAME RESPONSE EVERY TIME, “So trying for that girl, huh?”
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Happy birthday, Ella!!
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my god- already she is two? where is our life going- it’s flying past us. She is so beautiful. Happy day sweet E! xoxoxo
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Aww, sweet post. Happy birthday to little Ella!
And, can I just tell you, I was the exact same way (wanting two boys for the exact same reasons). The boy came first (one down!), and he’s been the easy going one. My daughter turned 2 in December, and she’s been the..um…”spirited” one. I can’t imagine life without my little girl, although I do imagine life is going to be wicked hard when she’s 13. But I wouldn’t trade her for the world, or a boy!
Happy birthday Ella. Hope you get a pony.
Ever little girl needs a pony.
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Happy Birthday Ella!
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Oh Jennifer…this is so sweet. Happy Birthday to Ella!!!!
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Happy birthday to Ella!
I have a 21-month-old son and am approximately 5 million months pregnant with a daughter
I seriously thought I would be fine with two boys and that I hoped for two boys since we had all the boy stuff and kind of knew what to expect. But when I found out it was a girl and then thought about it over the next few days, I was so overwhelmed with excitement and happiness. I know it’ll probably be a more challenging relationship at times than the one I have with my son, but I’m so looking forward to sharing life with a daughter.
happy birthday ella*!!!!
*or whatever your pretty name really is
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Happy Birthday to your beautiful Ella!
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The perpetual peanut butter smudged face made me laugh out loud. My daughter was exactly the same at age 2 and now she’s 10 and still comes home every day from school with peanut butter on her face! We’re hoping the dirty face will keep the boys at bay for as long as possible.
–VERY scared of parenting the next few years. Mean girls, hormones and teenage angst. I am so not ready.
I felt the same way before I had my little girl and I just can’t imagine her being anyone else now.
What a lovely post, and beautiful pictures.
Happy Birthday, sweetie, I hope you have a magical day!
Wow, I can’t believe she’s already two. Happy Birthday sweet sweet “Ella.” We miss you.
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Wow time flies! I first started reading your blog when you were pregnant and was running a little contest to come up with a psuedo blog name Ella.
Happy Birthday Ella!
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Funny because I felt the same way about having a boy. Terrified. And now, I wouldn’t have it any other way, of course.
Happy Birthday Ella.
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happy birthday ella!!
maybe in 10 or 11 years or so when our girls are teens we will find that their tomboyishness has outweighted their PMS. lets hope
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shit. i’m not an idiot. i know “outweighted” is not a word!
I too was afraid to have a girl for pretty much the same reasons as you. I really thought I wanted a boy and found out 3 days before I went into labour that I was having a girl. I was quite afraid I wouldn’t know how to love her – which was ridiculous. All those hormone induced feelings of trepedation were vapourized once she came into the world though. I don’t have any other children, so I don’t know how wonderful it would be to have a son… but I do know that daughters are an incredible, delightful gift. I am blessed to have my girl.
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Happy second birthday, Ella!
What a beautiful girl!
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She’s gorgeous.
She looks just like you.
Happy Birthday, dear Ella!
-
I was petrified of having a girl – so glad I have two boys with no chance for another one.
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Happy Birthday to your beautiful little girl.
It’s funny b/c I had almost the exact opposite experience—I wanted 2 girls b/c my sister and I are so close. When I found out that my 3rd was a boy, though, I was amazed by how excited I was.
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This is so sweet and the photo collage is gorgeous!
Happy Birthday little Ella!
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AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Happy Birthday Ella!!!
Happy Birth Day, Jennifer!!!
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Happy Birthday Ella!
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Happy Birthday Ella! May your years be filled with sunshine & roses (and John Deere Tractors as well!)
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Happy birthday to Ella. I always tell my husband that the only way we’re going to have kids is if someone can guarantee me a girl.
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Happy Birthday Ella!
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Hey Jennifer!
It’s Melanie…way back from playgroup! When I saw this post today…seriously, I can’t believe your baby girl is 2. Wow…time flies by. I loved seeing the photos–she looks just like you!
Happy Birthday Cutie Pie! My boy just turned 3 today. Where the heck is the time going???
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Happy birthday, Ella!
I wanted a girl like none other but ended up with two stinky boys. *deep sigh*
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I always wanted a girl…but it still terrifies me!!
Happy birthday Ella!! Beautiful little girl!!!
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LOOK at that sweetheart! Happy birthday pretty girl!
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Awww…happy birthday Ella! (You should also love that she looks so much like you in that top right photo!
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Happy birthday Ella! She’s grown into such a beautiful little girl! (Not that she wasn’t a pretty baby – she was! I didn’t mean it that way – I’ll shut up now…)
I was the opposite – I wanted girls because I didn’t know what to do with boys.
We’re two weeks away from Mira turning two. Can’t believe it’s gone so fast!
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she’s adorable.
happy birthday, ella!
i’m right there with you on the girl thing. we didn’t find out what we were having w/ little bean, and we were OK with either. maybe 1% more hoping for a girl.
everyone in the world was convinced we were having a boy.
and when she was born, The Mr. melted. i was excited! and very soon after (very soon) i thought to myself: uh-oh!
…and a friend of ours was glad they were having a boy, because he said “with a boy, you worry about 1 p*nis. with a girl, you worry about 100!”
UH-OH.
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I had all those fears about having a girl. 10.75 years later, and it’s still smooth’ish sailing. (Middle school starts next year!!)
Happy happy happy to you both. No, to you all!
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Happy birthday little one! I love that she can get dirty and grubby – my two girls and my son love the dirt, and grubby faces are the norm here!
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Happy Birthday Ella.
That is so unbelievably sweet. Happy Birthday to your baby girl!
And I’m “afraid” of girls for the same reasons. My aunt once told me she had, too, before her daughter was born. (Now she’s 20!) But she told me that our girls will most likely grow up to be much the way *we* were when we were younger – so what’s to be afraid of?
I’m still not sure I’m convinced!
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Beautiful! Happy belated birthday, sweet girl.
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Very sweet. Very clean writing. Nice, Jennifer.
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