I have this really strongly worded post in my drafts folder regarding my current feelings on blogging and all of my insecurities that seem like they are highlighted by blogging. It continues to darken my drafts folder rather than my front page for several reasons, one of which being MY INSECURITIES.
I’m guessing that if you’re going to BlogHer in Chicago this summer, especially if it’s your first time, you’re probably nervous.
1. What if nobody knows who I am?
2. What if nobody talks to me?
3. What am I going to wear?
4. What if I don’t get invited to any of the parties?
This will be my second time attending BlogHer and #1-3 all apply to ME, but I know, logically, that mostly my fears are just my little demon insecurities creeping in and attempting to sabotage me. Fear number 4, though, you’re covered because you’re already invited to a party, a party that I’m helping to host.
The People’s Party 2009
open-invite pre-BlogHer party
Thursday, July 23, 2009
8:30-11pm
Sheraton Chicago X (“Ten”)
~~~
Hosted by:
The Bloggess
Green Mom Review/ IzzyMom
Motherbumper
Mrs. Fussypants
Playgroups Are No Place For Children
Velveteen Mind
A private performance by Chris Mann, Share the love on his Fan Page!
The People’s Party is aptly named because it is for EVERYONE. I hope that when you read “everyone” you realize that “everyone” includes YOU. And you. And YoU. And yOU. It’s the perfect place to meet people, so that you’re not just sitting in your room, alone, watching p()rn in your PJ’s, scratching your butt, and eating an overpriced hamburger you ordered from room service.
What I need for you to do now, is go over to Megan’s place, and RSVP that you ARE coming to the Party, when you get back, we can chat about insecurities #1-3 (listed above.) Hurry back!
Did you RSVP??
Okay! {clap, clap} Let’s talk about our feeeeeeelings.
1. What if nobody knows who I am?
I’m SWEAR I’m not trying to scare you, but many of the people you’ll meet will have never heard of you, or your blog, or your Twitter name. That’s okay, though. I’d never heard of Amy in Ohio or Mommy Bits and they hadn’t heard of me until last BlogHer and now this year, I’m driving from Tennessee to Cincinnati and driving with them the rest of the way to Chicago. It’s like, we all became friends or something. Weird. I know.
If someone hasn’t heard of you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worth knowing. Introduce yourself to people and don’t be offended when they have no idea who you are.
2. What if nobody talks to me?
Okay, I swear AGAIN that I’m not trying to scare you, but you *might* have to talk to people first. I know it’s scary and all your insecurities start bubbling up in your throat and choking you at the mere thought of walking up to someone, sticking out your hand, and saying, “Hi. I’m Jennifer from Playgroups are no Place for Children.” The thing is, though, if you’re standing alone in the corner, it’s not very likely that someone is going to just come up and talk to you out of the goodness of their heart. That’s just not how it works.
Every year after BlogHer, there is a backlash against the “cliques.” With THAT many women (especially women), who rarely get to see one another, there are bound to be groups that form. Many of the so-called cliques are groups of women who’ve known each other for years, send one another Christmas and birthday cards, call one another on the phone. In other words, they have a HISTORY together. It’s natural for people to hang out with the people they already know, and usually they aren’t purposely leaving anyone out.
I promise you, though, that if you go up to people, introduce yourself, ask them questions about their blog and where they’re from, most people will AMAZINGLY talk to you. If you’re with a group who decides to go to dinner, say, “hey, mind if I come, too?” If they are not complete a-holes, they’ll say, “Of course you can!”
Something that I did last year with a group of people was to form a sort of support group and exchange cell numbers before leaving for the conference. That way I ALWAYS had someone to call if I was suddenly feeling like I had nobody to eat lunch with or to go to the free swag suites.
Remember that if you don’t make an effort, you will SO regret it when you get home. Take the chance, it will be worth it.
3. What am I going to wear?
During the conference, I’ll probably be wearing simple tanks, t-shirts, jeans, and possibly a casual, flowy skirt. In the evenings, I’ll probably go fancier with a dress and some cute wedges. Last year, I felt TOTALLY underdressed at all the cocktail parties. I won’t be making the same mistake this year.
Anymore fears that I didn’t cover? Any questions?? I hope that you have RSVP’d by now for the People’s Party!! See you in Chicago.
One of my biggest regrets last year, was not approaching more people and starting a conversation.
I was SO nervous when I saw you. I wish I had the courage to actually talk to you.
OHmommy´s lastest post..GAH. I tried to make new friends.
Uh… you pretty much covered my fears. I’m still trying to convince myself to go rsvp for that party.
Cathy´s lastest post..Get Me My Bandana
I RSVP’ed, I left my insecurities back in TN and am READY!
After all, I totally had a blind date with you, and THAT is sooo not my style.
Amo´s lastest post..Step-and-fetch-it.
I’m going to try and leave my insecurities in NH. Oy.
Thanks for this post. I didn’t think about exchanging phone numbers in advance, duh. And I didn’t realize the parties were quite so dressy. Now I have to go shopping!
catnip´s lastest post..skunks, pinatas, and Batman, oh my
Sounds fun!
Michelle´s lastest post..Not Me! Monday
I’m a newbie. It’s my first time at Blogher and I’m super excited and SUPER NERVOUS all rolled into one emotion. I’ve never met anyone that I chat with on Twitter and through e-mail daily, and can’t wait to finally meet so many new people.
Thanks for this post and can’t wait to me you too!
AmazingGreis´s lastest post..It’s my Blogaversary! 1 year down, many more to go…
i’m not going to BlogHer
but reading this got me so excited for all of you who are attending.
have a blast!
cheers!
nic @mybottlesup´s lastest post..a meal fit for a king
Jennifer, you are one of the nicest bloggers I’ve ever met. Since I do “know” you, feel free to flick me across the room if I become a leach.
Don’t be alarmed if I get scared and start to tug on your freshly ironed skirt. Just flick me, it’s for my own good.
Oh, and I’m totally going to be at the Par-tay!
DesignHER Momma´s lastest post..SpongeBob by Nightlight
I love that you wrote this post! It really is true. I walked away from blogher last year with so many new and amazing friendships. I can’t wait to see who I meet this year.
shannanb aka Mommy Bits´s lastest post..BlogHer 2009 – The Parties
Well, I already know you, so I feel way ahead of the game. I’m just so flipping excited I can barely stand the wait! My biggest question has been about what to wear. I’m off to read OHMommy’s post.
Momo Fali´s lastest post..Little Picasso
I just RSVP’d and I’m so glad that you posted this Jennifer. I’m a first timer and KNOW I will be intimidated…I’m really quite shy when it comes to party situations.
I think you ladies are wonderful for hosting this party. Thank you
.
Last year was my first year and although I didn’t have trouble going up to people, I did have my feelings crushed when someone would say after BlogHer that they were too intimidated or shy to come up to me.
What?! I’m super nice and would have loved to have met you! I didn’t know you were hiding behind that palm!
Anyone that wouldn’t be thrilled to be approached is an idiot. If no one is approaching you (and yep, this will the case most of the time), consider it an act of kindness to approach them… even if they are already surrounded by a group of people.
Ooh Jennifer, I should write a post about using the “Mystery” method to break into groups!
And I’m all jeans and t’s all the time. At night, jeans and dressy shirts. I don’t get much fancier than that and I felt plenty fancy last year… mostly because I had showered and took the time to put makeup on. Miracle of miracles. Vacation! All I ever wanted!
Megan {Velveteen Mind}´s lastest post..The 3rd Annual People’s Party 2009
Well I feel much better now, EXCEPT FOR THE DRESSY PART. Dang it. Now I’m freaking out. Better to freak out now than get there and be all underdressed though, I suppose. Thanks for the tips and I can’t wait for the party! Whee!!
Karly´s lastest post..If Anyone Tells Cleatus About This I’ll Be In Big Trouble.
What a nice post! I’m not planning on going to BlogHer this year, but I can see how these things would creep up a little if I were:). I’m really starting to want to go though:)! Baby’s not a huge fan of travel and I’m not all that into traveling with baby either, lol! See ya next year though!
Crista´s lastest post..Roll out the Red Carpet… Introducing Mike!
I am very likely to go on a hugging rampage and tearfully announce, “I love you!”
*AHEM* remember me at Blissdom?
{blush}
Alli Worthington´s lastest post..Because you all know Mrs. fussypants is a gal who loves to throw a party…The 3rd Annual People’s Party at BlogHer. YAY!
Can’t wait to finally meet!!!
Shelly Overlook´s lastest post..TTFN
As a newbie I was beginning to wonder about all the Blogher parties and also about what to wear. Thanks for posting this…maybe it all won’t seem quite so overwhelming.
Janelle´s lastest post..eeBoo Tell Me a Story Card Game – Review and Giveaway
I haven’t been to BlogHer but I did got to Blissdom this past Feb where I got to meet the lovely Jennifer. Just be yourself is what I learned from the last conference. And talk loudly because there will be A LOT going on around you.
Domestic Extraordinaire´s lastest post..Sixteen things
Jennifer, I love this post. I’m not going to BlogHer, but I went to Blissdom – and man, I wish I’d read a post like this before that weekend.
By the way, I’m not sure if you remember, but you were very nice and chatted with me at Blissdom. And look, here I am, still stopping by every now and then.
Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect´s lastest post..Me, Myself & Lies: Intro
This is all such good advice. I am dying that I can’t make BlogHer this year, but I went to the mini conference in Boston and the best advice you gave is to find at least one BlogHer buddy that you can use for emotional support, lunch dates or to help you clean up the coffee table when you spill the first cup all over everything at the beginning of the first day…not that that happened to me or anything.
gray matter matters´s lastest post..I love the smell of larceny in the morning.
Well, I wasn’t worried about what to wear until NOW! Seriously, I need to go shopping beforehand.
Thank you for this post. I feel less nervous each time I read a post like this.
Amy – Mom Spark & Mom Made That!´s lastest post..KENNA & COMPANY
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! I RSVPd to the party and am so excited for BlogHer. Nervous too, but mostly excited. I will have to psyche myself up to talk to new people though. Luckily, I have two friends coming as well so we’ll have a little mutual support, confidence-boosting thing going on.
I really hope I get a chance to meet you!
mep´s lastest post..Dips and Sips Summer Recipe Drive
I want to find good pop music. Help me please.
[...] So now I get to go shopping!! (Especially with BlogHer coming up quickly – it’s time to start thinking about what to wear!) [...]
I have no idea what I’m going to wear to the party, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be a flowy skirt. I might wear a kilt though. THAT could be fun.
lceel´s lastest post..Speleobox
Hey Jen, great post!
And hey, all you gals that are freaking out about the dressy/cocktail party thing? I suggest a nice pair of black pants/capris/skirt and a dressier blouse. Easy peasy. Seriously. I did buy dresses last year (for BH and another event with my husband) but could have left them at home in exchange for something a little more casual. I personally felt a little too dressed up.
Headless Mom´s lastest post..Quickie (vol. 2)
I 1000% agree w/ you on the cliques thing. Really, in the adult world, there are no such thing as cliques. Just people who know one another.
And I will be rubbin all up on you.
I have my own what to do/how to act/don’t crap your pants post about BlogHer. It’s full of awesomesauce.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s lastest post..The awesome guide to social situations, but most importantly, the rub-upathon known as BlogHer
ahhh, i SO wish i could go. have FUN!!!
MommyNamedApril´s lastest post..Happy Father’s Day, Indeed.
The ONLY reason I RSVP’d to this party, is because you’re a host. That’s it. Hugging you is a lonnnng time coming.
Miss´s lastest post..Weekly Winners [May31/Jun6]
So sad I am not coming this year.
I’ve RSVP’d and I’ll be there with bells on. (Cuz I really don’t know what I’m going to wear besides.)
Here’s a little thing I’ll share about Blissdom (cuz I haven’t been to BlogHer yet): I met a GREAT girl there who simply walked up to a few of us who were chatting (while waiting to be seated for lunch in the hotel) and asked if she could eat with us. I SO admired her guts to do something like that that we hung out quite a bit at the conference and am now a regular reader of her blog (as well as a friend online).
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins´s lastest post..Knocking you out with these American thighs
Yay for another TN girl!
Jillian´s lastest post..In the end, only kindness matters: Operation Nice
OK. I feel much better now. Except for the dressing up part. CRAP! What am I going to wear?? Wah!!
Scary Mommy´s lastest post..The French Do Everything Better
This is an awesome post. I’m still so P.O.’d about missing BlogHer. (Husband’s 20 year reunion is that very weekend in DC. BOO.)
Jen L.´s lastest post..Comfort Food Saturday: Chicken Ro-Tel
did you REALLY feel underdressed last year? I felt like there were people there wearing dresses and heels, but also people wearing jeans and t-shirts! I think I even wore jeans one of the nights!
ali´s lastest post..I know you are still waiting for the oversized flannel…BUT! I give you bad bangs and farmer’s tan instead!
I totally RSVP’d. I promise to not be a wallflower. I also hung up your pretty artwork at my place.
Tara R.´s lastest post..Sitting in the dark…
You DO seem like one if the nicest bloggers around as someone else said in these comments….
What a great post for a first-timer like me to read….I figured I’d have to do some serious approaching of people but this wardrobe thing…yikes. I’m a casual chick….I read another post where someone mentioned wearing a satin halter dress….THAT is the main thing giving me anxiety….
Amen…to all of it.
Can’t wait!
[rq=3557,0,blog][/rq]Everyone is beautiful.
I tend to be quiet and introverted – check that, I AM quiet and introverted, so am always intimidated at this kind of thing. Thank you for helping to put me at ease about almost everything I’m stressing over at BlogHer this year! I still need to find something to wear to the cocktail parties though – fancy clothes and I do not mix well right now. I’m off to RSVP for the People’s Party!
.-= Deb – Mom of 3 Girls´s last blog ..Out sick… =-.
I am so excited and so nervous for Blogher, but I just couldn’t let another year go by reading about everyone’s great experiences and thinking “why the fark didn’t I go?” Luckily, I’ll have a few bloggy friends there, but STILL. Great big bundle of nerves here. Thanks for writing this post, it helps to hear from someone who’s been there before.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..The Time Has Come =-.
I RSVP’d! Yay! I hope I get to meet you.
This will be my first year at BlogHer and I’m nervous! But excited!
Here’s my thing: I started blogging because, since I’ve become a mom, I feel like I can’t quite find a group of moms I really, really fit with. And blogging has been like, yes! Here are my people! I’ve found them! But what if I go to meet them, and I don’t fit there, either? I’m not sure I’m ready to really embrace my complete and total lameness. I’m comfortable with my illusion of cool.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..How To Make A Tire Swing =-.
I am SOOO going to BlogHer next year…. wait… what? Oh, that’s not fair!!!
.-= Joe @ IrrationalDad´s last blog ..How do I get this car out of second gear? =-.
1. What if nobody knows who I am?
Some might, most probably don’t. I go up to people whose name/blog I recognize and say hello. Sometimes they do realize who I am if I’ve commented on their blog. Sometimes not. That’s ok. I do know people there now because this will be my 4th year attending.
2. What if nobody talks to me?
My first year, I was standing in the lobby outside the meeting rooms. Izzymom totally came up to me and started talking. And the night before the conference started, Lassa (who now does MakeupBag) sat down at my table (I was by myself) and started talking. I guess I really looked forlorn! The point is, you may need to walk up to people first. But so many people are so nice that if they see you looking lonely, they will stop & say hi.
3. What am I going to wear?
I am totally not a fashionista. I will wear jeans almost the entire conference. Maybe a skirt or two. Nothing fancy, not even at the cocktail parties. I think it depends on what you feel comfortable in.
And Joe/IrrationalDad – there are TOTALLY guys there. I think Secondhand Karl and Neilochka (sp?) will be there and I’m pretty sure Backpacking Dad will be there too. And more. You should think about going next year!
.-= becky´s last blog ..Gratitude in my Attitude: The beginning =-.
The clothing thing always scares me half to death. Thank you for mentioning how dressy the cocktail party is—I would’ve definitely been under dressed if I hadn’t read this.
.-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Vacation, All I Ever Wanted. . . =-.