Discussing all possible scenarinos

I just love it when people mispronounce common words.  And by love I mean, it irritates the crap out of me, but yet it provides hours and hours of hearty chuckling when I’m making fun of them on my blog.

My most favorite mispronounced word was one I heard last week.  The lady who was speaking said, “we’ll talk about all the scenarinos.”  Scenarinos.  As in scenarios.  I looked at the other people sitting around me to see if anyone else was trying as hard as I was not to bust a gut laughing.  Nobody was visibly shaking, but there is no way I’m the only one who heard her say “scenarino.”  Scene-arino.  Seriously.  That’s comedy GOLD.

Tate and I have made it our goal to work this new word into our everyday vocabulary.  “So Tate, which scenarino works best for lunch?  Ham sandwiches or leftovers?”  “Hey Jennifer, after the kids go to bed later, I imagine a scenarino with us going to bed early {eyebrow wag, eyebrow wag}.”

Other words that make me laugh/want to punch someone includes:

Supposebly.  Supposebly you’re an idiot.

Irregardless.  Irregardless of what you say, irregardless is not a word.

Warsh.   I’m going to warsh your mouth out with soap if you say this stupid word ever again.  (I used to hear this all the time when I was a kid and lived in Oklahoma.  I don’t know if it’s an Oklahoma “thing,” but I’ve also heard a few people from St. Louis say warsh instead of wash.)

Ideals. I have lots of ideals about how I can torture people who use the word “ideals” when they really mean “ideas.”  (I hear this ALL the time in Tennessee and it makes me want to punch somebody.)

Any words that people totally botch that make you cringe or giggle with delight?

Edited to add:   Your comments are reminding me of words I didn’t even think about!  Kindygarten!  HATE that.  Also, I lose intelligence points every time someone adds a plural ending to words that don’t need plural endings.  Krogers, Meijers, Walmarts…THERE IS NO “S” ON THOSE NAMES, DAMMIT.

140 Responses to Discussing all possible scenarinos
  1. Suzy Voices
    August 18, 2009 | 3:07 pm

    Some people in Missouri pronounce sundae “SUN-duh”, instead of SUN-day. Drives me batty!!

  2. Maggie
    August 18, 2009 | 3:22 pm

    These may have already been commented on, but I don’t have time to read 101 comments!

    How about renember? Whoo, boy, that lowers my view of someone’s intelligence quite a bit.

    And then there’s the word or two that I first heard from my boss when I moved to California…Heighth. Last I checked, “height” does not end with a “th” sound. But then I’ve heard other people say it, and I don’t know if people have heard my boss say it, and then assume it’s a fancy architectural word…or if it’s just a SoCal colloquialism? There are a few others that aren’t coming to mind right now, but that one is the worst!

  3. Burgh Baby
    August 18, 2009 | 3:37 pm

    If Mr. Husband and I ever end up divorcing, it’ll be because he says “crayon” incorrectly. TWO SYLLABLES, PEOPLE.
    .-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Dear Mr. Google, Knock it Off. Or Else. =-.

  4. Kristin
    August 18, 2009 | 4:07 pm

    Oh too funny! My grandmother, being from Missourah as she put it, always said warsh. I hated it. Now of course she has Alzheimers so I kind of miss it.

    Libary. Shoot me.

    And of course hear in the northeast we get to hear lots of messed up words due to dropped “r”s…..cah, bah, lobstah.
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..Eight year olds are the new 15 year olds =-.

  5. Chelsie
    August 18, 2009 | 4:35 pm

    I get so frustrated when people say Flustrated, it’s either Flustered or Frustrated not some combo of the two. This isn’t a word but I hate when people say ara when they mean R…it’s a letter not it’s own freaking word!
    .-= Chelsie´s last blog ..November 12th!!! =-.

  6. Amanda
    August 18, 2009 | 4:41 pm

    OMG, this is so me!

    OK – the ‘warsh’ thing – my grandparents are both native Houstonians and they both say that! So I dont know where it comes from!

    I cannot convince my husband that ‘irregardless is not a word – “But so-and-so said it a bunch of times in our training class today!” Grrrr.

    I’m a probation officer, so you can just imagine how many mispronounced legalese words get thrown around, especially by the ‘jailhouse attorney’ types. For example, many of them say ‘adjudification’ instead of ‘adjudication.’ I don’t know where the extra syllable comes from, but it’s often present. Sometimes they call themselves ‘probationaries,’ and I have no idea what that is. And all the Latin legal words – wow. Don’t get me started.

    My favorite thing isn’t exactly a mispronunciation of a word. It’s that when they mess up, or violate their conditions of probation, they frequently say, “Please don’t violate me, Miss!” And by that they mean don’t report their infractions to the judge, but in reality, “Don’t violate me!” has a whole other meaning. LOL. I can’t say I have ever thought about violating any of them!!!

  7. Wisconsin Mommy
    August 18, 2009 | 6:36 pm

    Okay, mine is more of a saying than a word, but I can’t stand when people say “I’ve got it down packed”
    WHAT????
    It’s PAT people!!
    .-= Wisconsin Mommy´s last blog ..Our Mayor is No Cream Puff!! =-.

  8. ChaiAmWoman
    August 18, 2009 | 8:09 pm

    By far: “Acks” instead of “ASK.” I mean… !!!!!!!!!

    “Nuk-u-lurr” is a pretty bad one.

    My mom cannot pronounce tortilla. Instead, she says: “Tore-tilleeyuh.” Hmmm…
    .-= ChaiAmWoman´s last blog ..talk to me… =-.

  9. Katrina
    August 18, 2009 | 9:15 pm

    My mother’s ex used to say melk instead of milk. It got on my every nerve and was another reason I wanted to kick his teeth in.
    .-= Katrina´s last blog ..A good Monday. =-.

  10. Erin
    August 18, 2009 | 9:25 pm

    Irregardless – my personal pet peeve. That and ‘mute’ point instead of moot. Ughhhhhhh!
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..High Roller =-.

  11. Kim
    August 18, 2009 | 9:32 pm

    I LOATHE when people do not prounounce the ING at the end of words! For example, ‘eat-een’, ‘read-een’, ‘speak-een’. Come on! It’s eat-ING, read-ING, and speak-ING. We even have a local sports anchor that does this. Imagine all the runneen, hitteen, score-een that is reported. AAAahhhh! Awesome blog & topic, thanks!

  12. Jennifer
    August 18, 2009 | 9:37 pm

    Mommy Daisy, The sandwich derivatives bug me so much! And suddenly I keep hearing the word “sammie” for sandwich. STOP THE INSANITY!

  13. Jennifer
    August 18, 2009 | 9:38 pm

    SuzyVoices, All I can say, (I don’t want to hurt a close friend’s feelings) is YES. OH YES.

  14. Jennifer
    August 18, 2009 | 9:40 pm

    ChaiAmWoman, Your tortilla comment reminded me of the woman I waited on at Ruby Tuesday who ordered the Chicken Fa-GITE-ahs. I’m still laughing a decade later.

  15. Jennifer
    August 18, 2009 | 9:40 pm

    Katrina, One of Tate’s friends says “mulk.” It makes me want to vomit on his face.

  16. Jennifer
    August 18, 2009 | 9:41 pm

    Kim, I’m sadly probably an -ing offender coming from Missouri. I really try to remember to add the ng sound, though!

    And thanks, it’s not usually this fun or interesting. ;)

  17. Emily
    August 19, 2009 | 3:27 am

    For some reason it drives me INSANE when people (namely, my husband) say “itch” when they (he) mean “scratch.” As in, “can you itch my back for me?” When something itches, scratch it. NOT the other way around!!
    .-= Emily´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Little! =-.

  18. jen
    August 19, 2009 | 10:05 am

    i have one parent that tells me her child is really good at imaginating.
    argh.
    not a word.
    so the SLP in me says, “oh, it’s terrific that he has a good imagination.”
    the subtle cue didn’t help.
    .-= jen´s last blog ..… and then i slept on the couch. =-.

  19. NGS
    August 19, 2009 | 10:49 am

    My father says bar instead of bear when describing the animal. It is insane making.

    I am guilty of always saying “Meijer’s” though. I’m going to Meijer’s sounds so much better than Meijer. But I will work on it. So you don’t punch me in the face if we ever come face to face!
    .-= NGS´s last blog ..45 x 365 #200 =-.

  20. April
    August 19, 2009 | 12:33 pm

    Only cute when coming from a six year old… but he says “hand tanisizer” instead of sanitizer. Priceless.

    And, not as good, but he also says “ogurth” for yogurt.
    .-= April´s last blog ..Music at the Mall =-.

  21. April
    August 19, 2009 | 1:23 pm

    Ooh, just thought of more. I used to work at a jail and got a request from an inmate indicating I was “infringicating upon his constipational rights”. Go ahead sir, be constipated all you want.
    And a girl that worked there said “smamich” instead of sandwich.
    Now I work for the federal government. We have a claimant that says “fecral” instead of federal. Makes me think of feces. Yeah, in that gross kind of way.
    .-= April´s last blog ..Music at the Mall =-.

  22. Christina
    August 19, 2009 | 1:54 pm

    I have bookmarked this so I can read everyone else’s answers later, but the two words that totally grind me are:
    lib-ary
    and
    jew-lery
    GAH! I can hear them now! They annoy more than amuse, but there is a girl I work with who pronounces that stalky green vegetable:
    salary.
    haha
    Great topic!
    ~C

  23. Misty
    August 19, 2009 | 2:39 pm

    Well heck, I had all kinds of things to say but now I am too worried if I am saying them right. :) The one word that gets me is motorcycle- my mother pronounces it motor-sack-le, she doesn’t say bi-sack-le for bicycle, so I don’t know why she says it this way. I have been told that I don’t say ten and tin correctly. I have even practiced but don’t hear the difference so the world is stuck with that one from me.

  24. Trenches of Mommyhood
    August 19, 2009 | 2:59 pm

    Brefast for breakfast.

    Although, I think this is kinda cute: my nephew calls Lucky Charms “chucky arms”

  25. Annjeanette Martin
    August 19, 2009 | 9:02 pm

    Some of these bug me, but some of them seem down right nit-picky. Everyone is entitled to their pet-peeves and it IS funny to read about… but in the end who cares if someone adds an “s” to a store name? Nordstrom/Norstroms who cares? And I don’t think it is to make it plural, it’s to make it possessive, as if it were a person’s store, like in the old days.

    Using a past participle as a past tense bugs me a little: “I seen that”. Ok, totally makes me cringe.

    I don’t like spelling errors like there/their/they’re or lose/loose and I see those all the time.

    With that said, languages change and evolve, I am sure Shakespeare would roll over in his grave at how we speak now.

    There is also a lot of variation in pronunciation accepted by linguists and there is a lot of politics behind what is chosen as standard and educated and what is classified as low-class.

    ok, the language nerd will now shut up.
    .-= Annjeanette Martin´s last blog ..Confession # 4–Terms of Endearment… or Not? =-.

  26. Susan
    August 19, 2009 | 10:44 pm

    My grandmother used to say the letter H as “HAYch.” My MIL said liberry (doubly bad with 2 librarians in the family), and Oprah was Ofrah.

  27. the planet of janet
    August 20, 2009 | 1:46 am

    hey, be pacific when you ax me a question like that.

    otherwise, i’ll have a differnt answer.
    .-= the planet of janet´s last blog ..Hair today, God-knows-what tomorrow =-.

  28. mpotter
    August 20, 2009 | 10:05 am

    well the english language is pretty messed up.

    my older friend says “waked up” instead of “woke up”

    my mom used to pronounce lotsa words crazy-like.
    “eye-talian” and “IT-lee”
    as was mentioned.
    but the really funny ones for her were “gulf” instead of “golf”
    and backyard= “back-ee-ard”

    fun post!
    thanks.
    .-= mpotter´s last blog ..ciento =-.

  29. Dana
    August 21, 2009 | 1:44 am

    Wow, I didn’t think you could up my level of LOVE for you and your blog! We were meant to be friend. Wow.

    I have to agree with all of the comments that I got a chance to read. Apparently Mo’ Fo’s mess up more words than any of us can even begin to comment on! HAAAA!

    The other day my aunt kept saying “Warshington”. So I asked her how to spell it. She spelled “Washington”. Which is WHERE. WE. LIVE. Seriously, no joke.

    Spaghetti has so many ways it can be pronounced. Seriously?

    My mother says “Oynge” instead of “orange” which doesn’t even beging to make any sense!

    And lastly (well, not lastly but I should really stop at some point) the written word…You’re and Your are NOT interchangable and Where and Were and We’re are NOT THE SAME THING!!! Ugh.

    *sigh of relief*…boy do I feel better.

    Dana
    .-= Dana´s last blog ..Love Thursday, Sitter Style =-.

  30. LiteralDan
    August 21, 2009 | 12:32 pm

    My list is way too long to, well, list, but I just wanted to stop by to warn you that it’s a dangerous game you’re playing.

    I’m pretty sure this is how these virus-like mispronunciations propagate– people hear them and feel nauseated, then start saying it that way as an in-joke, then lose control of it, and the next thing they know, outsiders are hearing them say it and thinking they’re morons. Then children start imitating it, and the next generation is unknowingly warshed in idiocy.

    (Same goes, to a lesser extent, for quoting the amusing mispronunciations of your children.)
    .-= LiteralDan´s last blog ..Things 2-year-olds like doing =-.

  31. jmrmommy
    August 22, 2009 | 5:32 am

    I have always loved listening to the way people talk. I’m orginally from Indiana and have many relatives in “Missouruh”. Also, my husband’s family is from the East Coast, so we are always “arguing” over how to pronounce things. He says “arange” instead of “orange” and “cauleeflower” instead of “cauliflower”. In Indiana I always used to hear
    “bubs” instead of “bulbs” and
    “tur” instead of “tour”.
    One of my professors in college always said “you-mans” instead of “humans”.

    I mostly just think it is funny, but the ones that drive me crazy are “pitcher” instead of “picture”, “woof” instead of “wolf” and “birfday” instead of “birthday”.

    My hugest pet peeve is when people use “‘s” on words that don’t need it, like “we have two kitten’s for sale”.

    I now live in “Warshington” state and everyone says “do you want to go with?” instead of “do you want to go with me?” Does anyone outside of Washington ever hear that?

    Thanks for such an entertaining blog!

  32. Kim H.
    August 24, 2009 | 10:15 pm

    When I moved to Ohio I was introduced to some phrases that would come to grate on my last nerve –

    “needs fixed”
    “needs faxed”
    “needs watered”
    “aired up”

    And I think you and I could be soul sisters — I’m a midwestern girl now living in Tennessee. Dude, we SO need to chat!
    .-= Kim H.´s last blog ..Gift giving 101. =-.

  33. Bejewell
    August 25, 2009 | 3:03 pm

    132 comments? Jeebus! Was there some kind of prize or something and I missed it? Or are people just THAT annoyed by the degration of the Enrgish langage?
    .-= Bejewell´s last blog ..We Got a New Refrigerator But Our House Rejected It Like a Bad Kidney =-.

  34. Grace
    August 26, 2009 | 8:15 am

    Great post!

    A lady I know pronounces “special” as “spay-shal”.

    It makes me want to rip off her lips.

  35. patois
    August 29, 2009 | 9:05 am

    Orientate.

    What the hell is “orientate”? I mean, unless you’re British, in which case you get a pass because it’s accceptable to use it rather than “orient.”
    .-= patois´s last blog ..The Weekly Wonderings #121 =-.

  36. Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING
    August 30, 2009 | 8:50 pm

    Brian’s baby brother and I laugh at how Brian taught Michael (said brother) about irregardless. Brian would say, “Mike, regardless is without regard. Irregardless? What are you WITHOUT without regard?” Brian was smart. And witty. And had a great vocabulary.

    Which is why Brian also taught me that it isn’t “I could care less…” It is “I couldn’t care less.” If you could care less about a situatation that you are trying to say you don’t give a crap about, you just said there is something that is even less important. Usually not the point of the statement, thus said wrong and now bugs me.

    Also, I hate it when people use than for then.

    And now that my dad has retired and moved to the country, he has started using bad “farmer” grammer to fit it. Like “Oh. Give me some of them grapes. I like them.” Shudder. Dad, you are a retired Engineer and one of the smartest people I know. YOu can build and rebuild and fix just about anything. THEM grapes???

    KEEP BELIEVING
    .-= Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING´s last blog ..The question I know you all want to ask…. =-.

  37. Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING
    August 30, 2009 | 10:23 pm

    Brian always hated ‘same difference.’ It didn’t bother me. To him, the only time you could have the same difference was if you were subtracted 20-10 and then 30-20 and got the literal same difference. It drove him nuts.

    KEEP BELIEVING
    .-= Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING´s last blog ..The question I know you all want to ask…. =-.

  38. Gnightgirl
    August 31, 2009 | 8:09 am

    Some people seem to refuse to acknowledge anything but English pronunciation of any letter. 10 million mexican restaurants, and still you hear people ordering “Fa-GEE-tahs.” A friend grates on my nerves by pronounces jalapeno as “allah-pay-no.” Don’t even get me started on “Peanut Nor” for Pinot Noir.

    The grammar faux pas that I have never been able to break: “gonna.” I never realized it until my son began writing, and wrote “We are gunnuh go…” He is 23 now, and I still have a hard time slowing down to say “going to” anything. Sarah Palin brought that particular offense to the forefront, and I got on my own nerves even more than usual.
    .-= Gnightgirl´s last blog ..My head hurts (+ a bit of good advice) =-.

  39. Nap Warden
    August 31, 2009 | 7:54 pm

    I constantly hear folks mix generally when they mean genuinely.

    I genuinely like her. vs I generally like her. Two different meanings there people:P
    .-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Oh, My Blair Witchian Nightmare =-.

  40. Thorneyb
    November 4, 2009 | 11:35 pm

    We have a friend who has the nerve to say “ValenTIMES Day”.

    Really?

    Love your blog!