Ever since I’ve known Tate, he has been somewhat accident and injury prone. Back in the olden days when we were dating, he used to woo me with talk of concussions and broken pinkies he received playing intramural sports in college. He’d describe to me in detail the crab claw that lacerated his hand or the ladder and ice incident that left him with a head injury. That boy really knew the ins and outs of romance.
Very little has changed. Even now, it seems like at least weekly he’s complaining of some sort of ailment caused by a multitude of sources. Bugs fly smack dab into his eyeballs, leaving me to wonder if his eyelids need some sort of agility training. He’s always complaining of getting water in his ear, like just this past week when we were on vacation at the beach. Tate claims an old “rotater cuff injury” to get himself out of helping with housework and picking up socks off the floor.
A few weeks ago, he was playing soccer with some friends and severely twisted his ankle. At the time, he assured me he didn’t need to go to the emergency room. He tough man. He take pain like bear. He take pain reliever like junkie.
What I find most disturbing is his insistence on depending on me for medical advice.
“Jennifer. My ankle still really hurts. It feels like I the bones and ligaments are all loose inside, and now my leg is starting to hurt. Look at my ankle and my leg. Does it seem to bow out differently than my other leg?”
“Well, uh, I, uh…” I stammer, looking at what appears to be two symmetrical legs and one obviously screwed up, puffy, red ankle.
“Feel it. Can you feel how this ankle just doesn’t feel right, like the bones aren’t aligned or maybe they’re broken. What do you think? Is it broken? FEEL IT.” He looks at me with the trust and desperation in his eyes that should be reserved for a medical doctor with thirty years experience treating sprains, strains, and breaks.
“Tate, I don’t really think I’m qualified…..” I shrug my shoulders and shake my head and look at him like he’s lost his marbles.
“NO, right here, put your hand right here. Do you feel that? Does that feel broken? You feel that, right?” He is adamant, as if asking me four different ways will somehow morph me into an M.D.
Why can’t he just be normal and ask Dr. Google for advice? What is WRONG with him?
Dr. Google is never wrong… I don’t know why that isn’t the most logical thing for him to do.
.-= ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..Oh, Balls =-.
aw, that’s so sweet that he trust you. My husband would be all “stay away woman, with those pinchers for fingers God gave you…”
.-= DesignHER Momma´s last blog ..How to Potty Train Your Second Child =-.
My husband does that, too. Every bump the man gets, he thinks he’s broken something. By now, every bone in his body should be broken. And he wants me to feel every one.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..H1N1 =-.
And, unlike the wife, Dr. Google is ALWAYS happy to oblige!
.-= McMama´s last blog ..Brief Humor Interlude =-.
Awww.. Jennifer.. you’re his care taker
So cute.
Dr. Google baby
That ankle!! OUCH
.-= rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..3 Years. 3 Pictures. 1 Girl. =-.
Doesn’t everyone ask Google to diagnose their ailments? My husband doesn’t ask me to diagnose but rather pretends he is OK even when obviously very ill or hurt. I haven’t had to drag him to the ER yet but one of these days I am going to have to.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Baby Brain =-.
What is shocking to me is how whiny men get when they are hurt or sick. And STILL they won’t just go to the doc or do like any ormal person and google their symptoms and conclude they have a rare and incurable disease.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Missing you. And you and you and you. =-.
Personally, I’m not a fan of Dr. Google. His final diagnosis is always cancer – even if I’m only asking about a hang nail. Just sayin’.
Tell him to put on his big boy underwear and go visit a real doctor already. Men.
.-= Ashlie- Mommycosm´s last blog ..Mini vacation in the granite state =-.
Tell me he’s already seen a real doctor with that ankle?!!
I would have no idea what injured body part that is without reading further. Yikes…My DH won’t go to the doc or google…he just complains to me and looks for sympathy. No doc, no sympathy…It can’t be that bad if you don’t want an MD’s advice!
.-= LZ´s last blog ..Top Ten Thursday: 10 Funny Chicks =-.
Well, you could always take him to the shoe store and have him put his foot in the Fluoroscope. Oh. Wait. they don’t do that anymore, do they? Well, i guess he’ll just have to go to the ER – because all that discoloration? Is bleeding. Inside. Bad bruising, at least, but you really need to make sure nothing is torn in there. Go. Now.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Before and After =-.
“What is WRONG with him?”
Testosterone. Plain and simple.
Seriously…I think I am your husband.
What is wrong with men??? Whya can’t they just go to the damn dcotor already?? My husband is exactly the same way.
I think all husbands are just big kids needing someone to tell them what to do. Good luck.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..7 Quick takes…….thursday edition =-.
My husband sprained his ankle pretty badly playing softball (I know, a middle-age guy’s game) and it looked JUST. LIKE. THAT. An x-ray might be in order, just in case.
I think he even got PT, if I remember right. Of course, the fact that I was 9 months pregnant at the time with our first child meant NOTHING. His ankle had to be babied and he would have none of my discussion of pregnancy aches and pains.
.-= Sue @ My Party of 6´s last blog ..domestic loveliness =-.
Oh my gosh, in my house I’m always the one with the ailment looking for a dime-store diagnosis.
My husband just shakes his head when I bust out the medical reference book.
.-= Kim H.´s last blog ..Update on the Southern homefront. =-.
My hubs is the same way. He thinks that my short stint in x-ray tech school 10 years ago, qualifies me to treat his cold/flu, aches pains or whatever. I’m clueless and make stuff up as I go along.
.-= Jean M.´s last blog ..I Feel I Owe You A Post =-.
too funny. doctor google always tells me i have testicular cancer or some such awful and highly improbable disease. LOL
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Deep Thought for the Day… =-.
I am sitting here, cross legged, almost about to pee my pants that was so funny! I stumbled onto your site for the first time tonight but guaranteed I’m coming back for more!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Go Away! =-.
I am the Queen of Google Diagnoses. For me and the kids, that is. But lately, my husband has started asking me to Google on his behalf, which I find very disconcerting, as he used to be the one who talked me down from the edge of hypochondria.
.-= Arkie Mama´s last blog ..Arkie Mama: Reading nooks =-.
Okay, I will NEVER forget the agility-training-for-the-eyelids bit!
I love your blog more and more with each post I read!
.-= Devilish Southern Belle´s last blog ..Bored while waiting for football practice to be over – WW #8 =-.
well, DUH — dr. google knows EVERYTHING!
.-= the planet of janet´s last blog ..And another one bites the dust =-.
Even though it is perfectly FREE to go to the doctor here, my husband still refuses to go and asks me to tell him what’s wrong when he’s hurt or sick. I think he’s really asking me to “make him” go to the doctor. Silly Rabbi, and silly Tate.
.-= rabbi’s wife´s last blog ..Wow…time flies! =-.
MEN!
Wait until he finds out it really is broken…then he’ll want a nurse! I know mine would!
.-= Hip Mom’s Guide´s last blog ..Starting to Get the Shakes: I Can’t Find My Camera! =-.
Ewwww…
So, is it broken or not?!?
Also, being a blogger doesn’t qualify you to diagnose a broken bone. But being a mom kind of does…
.-= tracey´s last blog ..A little bit of this, a little bit of that… =-.
I get sort of the opposite–mine self-diagnoses. On any given day, he will tell you that he’s dying, has a broken bone, is deathly allergic to something, or has whatever ailment is currently in the news. Does he go to a doctor, though? Of course not! He can complain to his wife for hours on and end and that will make him feel allllll better.
There’s a reason I keep a box of sporks at home.
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..I Pretty Much Only Talk to My Kid in the Car =-.
What’s wrong with him? Probably one too many concussions, right?
.-= Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s last blog ..How to Destroy Your Quirky Child’s Soul 101 =-.
He must know: Women know EVERYTHING!
So typical of a man! Even when they do go to the doctor they fail to ask follow up questions and clarify as needed. They come home and scratch their heads and say “mmmm I Think he said to bla bla, but I can’t really remember”. Sooo frustrating!
.-= Gentry´s last blog ..Oh no! I’ve turned into Kate Gosselin! =-.
LOL. It sounds like my husband. “Honey…just FEEL it…please?”
Oh, wait…that sounded FAR dirtier then intended…uh…
what was I saying? *G*
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Real Men Don’t Cry (Part 3) =-.
I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence that ever since meeting you, he’s been accident and injury prone.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Braht =-.
that’s great that he wants your opinion. and probably a little comfort.
my husband is the same way in that he never needs a doctor or anything. he’s always “fine” even if he’s limping.
he had a bad accident in college when a car door opened in the path of his bike. i went to the emergency room to see him, and he was so excited. “c’mere and look at this! it’s awesome!!”
what is wrong with HIM?
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..ciento =-.
oh- and i hope tate’s foot feels better soon!
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..ciento =-.
Dr. Google would probably tell him he has a bone infection and needs to have the damn foot amputated! Of course, that would take care of the puffiness …
.-= Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..It’s His Middle Finger and That Seems Fitting =-.
YIKES! That looks painful…
After many, MANY ankle injuries over the years, I think I would take this one to the doctor. I had a doctor tell me once when I thought I had broken my ankle that “bruising usually means broken – if there’s no bruise, you’re probably just sprained.” Your hubby might want to get that checked out…
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Promise… =-.
OMG I used to get the “FEEL IT” all the time from my ex, WHO WAS A MEDIC IN THE NAVY. What is that about?
.-= Miss´s last blog ..The One About My Addiction =-.