There’s one house in my neighborhood that has no window coverings, allowing us, when the light is just right, to peer into their home. This openness irritated me to the point of mania, obsessing every time I passed the house about the why. Why didn’t they cover their windows? Why do they allow us to look inside? Why doesn’t this bother them?
And then I realized that I live in a blog, and even though I have window coverings, they are sheer and at times wide open showing me walking around naked or unkempt. Why do I do this? Why do I want people looking inside? Why doesn’t this bother me?
There were two conversations on Twitter yesterday talking about feeling invisible and openly wondering if we packed up our blogs and disappeared tomorrow, would anyone notice? In a nutshell, the discussion revealed that a lot of us feel invisible and the majority of us feel dispensable. The answer to the age old question, When a blogger leaves in this vast and dense blogosphere forest, does anyone notice?, is no, not really. After a day or two, they’re forgotten and the Internet collectively sighs in relief at having one less person to keep track of.
I’ve been at this gig for almost three years. Three years of pimping myself out, three years of jumping up in down in front of my wide open windows yelling, “look at me!!! Look at me!! OVER HERE! See me?? Please like me!!” And yet? And yet I still often feel invisible, I still feel like I’m not part of the in crowd. Three years of still not being recognized.
“Oh hello, Jennifer. Playgroups are no place for children, you say? Nice to meet you.” says Big name blogger.
“Well actually we met last year at BlogHer, we talked for like, an hour. How do you NOT remember???” I seethe, silent in my head. But what I actually say is, “Nice to meet you, too.”
(No, I’m not talking about one situation or person, I’m referring to probably 15+ different occurrences.)
I am exhausted.
I keep telling myself that I started blogging and keep blogging because of this community. I keep telling myself that I blog because I enjoy it. It’s fun, right? When I first discovered blogs, I found so many like-minded women, struggling through the early days of motherhood, who didn’t sugar coat infancy and playdates and being a stay-at-home mom. Blogs made me feel vindicated.
Writing gave me something to do in those days when Carson was just a baby and I was so lonely, so bored, so discontent. It gave me something to occupy my mind, something to think about beyond my never ending laundry pile, what I could cook for dinner in five minutes or less, or how I was going to make it into the post office carrying a package and a carseat. In the early days, my blog was the sole place that was mine, and mine alone. Carson didn’t poop on it, Tate didn’t leave his dirty socks lying on it, I didn’t resent it like I did most everything else in my life at the time.
Here’s the kicker, though. I resent this blog now. Moreso, I resent that I don’t write the way I wished that I could.
What was once this great way to connect with others, has become this never ending loop of barely keeping my head above the social media water line. I’ve literally lost sleep over the fact that I haven’t ever visited some of the my most loyal commenters or that I didn’t answer a question left in my comments section or that I have at all times at least two or three need-to-be-answered emails. My close friends’ blogs, I hardly have time to read those and when I do, my comments often amount to “great post,” which is apparently the “wrong” way to comment.
Blogging has also become more than simply writing. There’s Twitter, that I do occasionally enjoy, but I feel so out of the loop since I can’t spend hours interacting like it seems so many others do. I talk to people, they don’t talk back. I talk to people and sometimes I don’t have time to reply. Hello vicious cycle! I cannot keep up, I feel like I’m drowning in the wake of bloggers who must have 48 hours in their days to my mere 24.
Then there’s the worry that I don’t use Twitter “correctly,” which really, is just plain STUPID. I’m so very tired of having to comment the “right” way, interact on Twitter the “right” way, always remembering to be “relevant,” when all I really want to do is connect with others because I’m lonely and bored.
In terms of writing, I’ve come to the realization that my writing isn’t, in fact, brilliant. I don’t completely suck, no, but there are millions (LITERALLY) of other women bloggers who smoke me in the writing department. This makes me feel like a very small fish in a huge, swirling vortex to nowhere. I’ve all but stopped reading some of my favorite blogs because they are such amazing writers that it makes me feel even worse when I struggle to write something witty or passionate yet what comes out is basically the same shitty post over and over. I’VE STOPPED READING PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY’RE GOOD???? That is all kinds of messed up.
(I’m not saying this to get some of you to say that you think that I’m a talented writer, because REALLY.)
You want some more brutal honesty? That little subscriber number over there in my sidebar? I have tried to take it down, but I can’t. It is too closely connected to my fragile blogger ego. I look at that number and think that when someone new that’s never been to my blog before sees that number, they’ll read my less than stellar writing and think, “but she has over 1,400 readers! She must be somebody.” The big bloggers may not recognize me, I may get very few @ replies on Twitter, I may sort of suck as a writer, but doggonit, I have subscribers!!
[Fraud, see also Imposter, see also playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com]
I think every blogger/writer initially struggles to find their voice. I know that for me, I initially wanted to be very open, too open, writing about things overly personal. My windows had no coverings, and the light was always right for your peering eyes to see everything. Provocative, I remember trying to live up to that word, but all provocative turned out to for me was using the word f*ck a little too often. Now the pendulum has swung almost all the way to the other side, I’ve covered my windows with sheers and try to write watered down stories without curse words and about subjects that couldn’t possibly offend anyone. Now that I have found my middle ground voice, I don’t really like the way it sounds.
The thought crosses my mind nearly everyday that I should quit blogging, close up shop, copy my archives so that all this work is not totally gone. My memories are recorded on this blog after all. When I think of quitting, I get all panicky, though. “Who will I talk to?” “I know that as soon as I quit, I’ll have something really poignant to say.” “What will I do with my time?”
There is nothing simple about quitting. Blogging has become such a part of who I am. Most of my friends live in my laptop/iPhone. This hobby is the source of vacations and get togethers. Even though I’ve long been disillusioned with blogging, I spent a great deal of money to go to Chicago this summer for BlogHer. Without blogging, would I get a weekend away from the kids, spending time with friends?
I’ve been contemplating starting a completely different blog, a fresh start. That, too, makes me feel panicky. Or maybe it makes me feel even wearier. I remember the hours I spent commenting on other’s blogs, signing up my blog all over the place to get my name out there and to think I would have to do that again? And I’d lose my precious 1,400+ subscribers! Saying that makes me stop in my tracks, WHAT THE HELL am I doing? Starting over would be without strings attached, without the stress of “properly” interacting in the community and, dare I say it…, maybe it would be more about the writing. (HA!)
There is also the whole debate in the mommyblogging community about sponsored trips, reviews, free what the hell ever and how it reflects on us as a community. All of it, ALL OF IT, makes me overwhelmingly tired. Why yes I do have opinions on the subject, but since I can’t articulate what they are I’ll just keep my mouth shut. I only mention it because this SITUATION is part of what’s bothering me.
I feel at odds over ads on my site, too, but have justified that they have paid my hosting fees for this website and bought me some cheap shoes at Payless, in the clearance section. What bothers me about ads in general is that I have NOT posted things because I didn’t want what I was going to say to reflect poorly on an advertiser. Back in November when I did an entire month of giveaways, provided from some very generous sources, to “celebrate” my two year blogging anniversary, there were several posts that I WANTED to write, but due to their crass or controversial nature, I didn’t. Certainly that decision was good for “business,” but this blog didn’t begin as a business. How did turn into one?
I don’t really have a conclusion. There isn’t a conclusion. I do know that blogging is more often than not, no longer fun and that I just want to take a nap.
***
To clarify, this is not an announcement that I’m quitting blogging. In the event that I do quit, it will be without pomp and circumstance. I’ll quietly put up some thick, lined curtains and drive away when nobody is looking, and I won’t leave a forwarding address.
Maggie Dammit also has some thoughts, related to this very subject. You should read her post, Evolution of a Blogger.
Mommy Cracked
September 6, 2009 at 8:21 am
Your blog is one of the first I started reading and I’d be terribly sad if you quit. I think ny blogger worth their salt struggles with this…it’s so hard to feel significant in this vast and endless sea of bloggers. BUT…your blog has tht certin something (good content) that is going to stand the test of time when all of these review blogs and things of that nature play out. Just keep doing YOU.
Mommy Cracked´s last blog ..Adoption Is An Option
MommyNamedApril
Twitter: MommyNamedApril
September 6, 2009 at 9:30 am
I’m so sorry you feel this way. You were one of the very first (if not THE first) blogs I added to my reader. I love your writing and would be sad to see you go. I hope you can find a happy medium. Pun intended.
MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Sunday Citar.
The Glamorous Life
September 6, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Amen sister. I say it every day. Actually I thought today was the day. REALLY. I planned to JUST STOP. But I realized something….I have said I wanted to quit my marriage a million times too, I have complained on bad weeks that I wasn’t cut out for motherhood either….I think that like everything it has good days and bad….
And then today it happened. My husband ASKED ME TO STOP. He wants me to do something ‘REAL’. And all of a sudden I was panic’d….I defended the thearaputic parts of blogging, and how NO ONE ELSE thinks I am funny except my fellow bloggers and it all came pouring out of my mouth…..and I realized. I CAN’T QUIT.
But I plan to eliminate sponsored posts at the end of the year. And all ads too. And I will never attend BlogHer again unless I am speaking. (wrote about why on my site)….I can make changes to make this better. I mean you can’t throw out the (blog) baby with the bathwater right?
Hang tough sister.
You are not alone.
Now go take a nap.
The Glamorous Life´s last blog ..G.I.R.L. Showcase
Snowflakes in Hell » Blog Archive » I Can Sympathize
September 6, 2009 at 2:23 pm
[...] getting harder and harder this day to navigate through the noise, Michael Silence quotes another blog post: What was once this great way to connect with others, has become this never ending loop of barely [...]
Jen
September 6, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I quit Twitter a while back because of all the same reasons you are talking about quitting blogging. I felt invisible, it was a giant time suck and it seemed like it required to little time and effort with so little payout in return.
I’ve tried to keep myself from falling into the same trap with blogging. I have ads (I use the revenue from them to buy a fun sized candy bar every month or so) and I do an occasional product review (on a separate blog) but other than that I try not to pay too much attention to the business of blogging. I don’t promote my blog and I cringe at the phrase “social media”. I blog what I want, when I want. I’ve had readers tell me they come to my blog because they’re interested in my story as a surrogate mother. I hope that they stick around because they feel they’ve found someone that they have something in common with and who amuses them. That’s why I blog. It’s for the connection, no matter how small my readership is.
Now that doesn’t mean I’ve got it all figured out. I’ve often wished my readership was bigger, that I got more comments, that I was offered sponsorships and trips swag out the wazoo. I try to be zen about blogging but yes, I often with I had a bigger piece of the pie. I guess the trick is trying to find a balance. I really don’t want blogging to become something I resent so I try to stay true to why I do it.
Here’s a funny thing. I consider you a big name blogger. You would be on my top five list of people I would like to meet at blogher. Not because of your feed subscriber numbers but because you’re funny and smart and interesting. I, for one, would be very sad if you said goodbye to blogging.
Thus ends my longest comment ever.
Jen´s last blog ..Because I’m too tired to argue
Stimey
Twitter: Stimey
September 6, 2009 at 7:13 pm
This is an amazing post and articulates so much of how I think a lot of people evolve in blogging. I identify with a lot of what you say here. Blogging is such a weird little organism with us sharing our personal feelings and needs and insecurities and laughs, yet we also brand ourselves and try to follow the rules, and do the “right” thing. I so get what you’re saying.
And for me, you will always be one of my favorites. And you will always be a big blogger to me. And if you ever close up shop here and head someplace else, I insist on an email to let me know where you are going because I’d miss you.
Stimey´s last blog ..A Stimey Moment
mep
September 6, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I don’t have any good or easy answers for you, but I do know I would sorely miss this blog if you packed it in. I think you’re honest and funny, that you’re a great photographer, and that you are easy to relate to. I really enjoy the glimpses into your world.
I don’t have a ton of blog angst, but I also don’t have a ton of blog readers. Probably there’s a connection there!
I love how you’re sharing this internal debate with all of us. Reading the comments on this post has been enlightening.
Please don’t go!
mep´s last blog ..Don’t you forget about me.
rabbi's wife
September 7, 2009 at 12:34 am
You’re going to have to take a week off from posting just to read all these long comments!
For the record: I’d miss your blog, I don’t subscribe because I don’t use google reader, and it would be fine with me if you took more time between posts, as long as you’re happy.
Sorry if I ever made you feel like you had to write to me because I asked stupid questions!
rabbi’s wife´s last blog ..Wow…time flies!
Michelle
September 7, 2009 at 4:24 am
I don’t blog, but enjoy reading your life (sounds creepy?).
My computer was rebuilt a couple of weeks ago, and none of my bookmarks were saved, but by memory I put in the one’s I really wanted back in there — you were FIRST. I did have to think though, because I knew your blog wasn’t called ‘Jennifer’!
I would miss you if you left, but understand that you have to figure out what is right for you and your family. I also understand that you don’t have time to blog every day – I don’t have time to read every day, and I want my life to have balance, so I read every other day.
Love you and your writing.
Vic
September 7, 2009 at 5:59 am
I don’t have anything witty or relevant to say (which seems to be why I don’t comment on many blogs) but I get where you’re coming from.
Vic´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: List of Five
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt
September 7, 2009 at 11:15 am
J-
I know this post is now over three days old and you already have 60 comments (none of which I read). But I did still want to say that I resonate with a lot of your feelings and that DID happen to me, when I switched to Wordpress. Subscribers? Gone. Poof.
So now I HAVE to blog only because I WANT to… it’s not about the readers anymore because it just isn’t. I’ve written less because of being pregnant and exhausted. But it some ways it’s a relief to be cutting back and only posting when I WANT to, not because I feel obligated to by some arbitrary standard of posting frequency.
Plus occasionally I have a good idea or easy & cute toddler dress pattern to share. And where else would I put those?!
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt´s last blog ..30 weeks
valerie
September 7, 2009 at 11:41 am
OOoooooOOOOohhhh!!! I love the new design!
valerie´s last blog ..Agh!
Mommy Needs Therapy
September 7, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Yes, what you said!
Seriously though, how did you crawl in my head and write exactly what I’ve been thinking but haven’t been able to articulate!
When I run a giveaway and have to beg for entrants I feel like a total blog looser!
And I know you aren’t asking for compliments, but in all seriousness I read your first few paragraphs (before you said you weren’t a great writer) and thought to myself “Wow, she’s a great writer! I wish I could write that well.”
I’m 4+ years in to my blog and I still feel like I’m trying to find my voice.
Mommy Needs Therapy´s last blog ..Zhu Zhu Pets review and GIVEAWAY!!
Trenches of Mommyhood
Twitter: sarahviz
September 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Yes! We started out in this at practically the same time, remember? So I’ve always felt a sort of kinship with you. And even tho, like you, I don’t check in as often, I always know you’re “there”. (Does that sound weird and stalkerish? Cuz I don’t mean it to be!)
Anyway, I have oftentimes felt the same way as you articulated above (very nicely, may I add…)
Twitter? I don’t get it and am sure I too am not using it “right”.
Ads? I quit BlogHer.
BlogHer conference? Still haven’t gone – can’t justify the expense and more honestly, I don’t want my bubble to burst about the gals I admire in my computer.
Finally, when are we EVER gonna meet, lady?
Trenches of Mommyhood´s last blog ..Clothing and the Wearing Thereof
Gentry
September 7, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I am on the opposite side of the blog world (I am brand spanking new and still trying to decide what my blog will be) from you and this was fascinating to read. In fact, I love your blog because you are so open and honest about what has and has not worked in terms of getting it out there, how to blog, etc.
I started blogging just a few short months ago because I had 2 kinds under the age of 2 driving me insane. I told NO ONE about my blogging except my technical husband who does all of “that stuff” for me so I can just write. Now I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to increase my readership, that is my current goal. Yet, I want online other blogger readership versus close friends and family who I feel I will need to censor myself if they read it. I am still trying to figure all of this blogging business out (I still can’t even figure out how to subscribe to blogs or I would totally subscribe to yours), I have *no clue* if I write decently or not..and I am still worried that I use my real identity and what the hell happens when my community discovers me? So…I’m still getting my feet wet and I can totally tell you I appreciate and look up to you guys who have readership (hello, if I had a post with 63 comments I would TOTALLY do a cart wheel–and probably break a bone) and regular posters. Right now I do feel I blog invisibly…but then I also struggle that well, it would be nice to toss this over with someone, ya know?
Anyway, sorry to go on and on. From what I have found in life (mom’s groups, organizations, etc) most people are comfortable being readers, listeners, etc. That isn’t bad…but they just aren’t comfortable being the loud mouth that says it all–particularly the controversial stuff. They are not comfortable having their windows open if you will. So while, I am personally starting to let mine open just a bit more on my blog (and terrified by what this will bring)…I think that is okay. I have figured out there is nothing wrong with being a lurker, reader, listener…but the world does need some big mouths like me too in order to make it go around.
So Jennifer, in my verbose cluttered style…I like that you are a fellow big mouth. You are also a fantastic mentor for those of us just starting up. Please keep blogging:-).
Gentry´s last blog ..Obama’s speech to students raising eyebrows
Andi @udandi
September 7, 2009 at 1:59 pm
1400 subscribers and 60+ comments on this post and you feel invisible?!
Your post made me realize another good thing about being the black sheep in real life, when you are the black sheep in the blogosphere it doesn’t affect you so much
Thanks!
Andi @udandi´s last blog ..Memories of a Girl Scout
mpotter
September 7, 2009 at 3:20 pm
i totally get it.
but boy would i miss it if you left.
i enjoy seeing that you posted (but i’m not one of those subscriber numbers that gets you all joyful…. i find it fun to visit the blogs i read via bookmarks! it’s like a nice surprise to see you’ve updated.)
i’m sorry you’re so disenchanted with blogging right now. i so get that.
on the plus side— that’s a GREAT pic of you.
and the quick “about” made me chuckle out loud.
mpotter´s last blog ..stranger danger
Marinka
Twitter: MarinkaNYC
September 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I had no idea that you were from Nantucket!
You are one of the blogging legends for me, one of the first bloggers that I read when I started blogging last year.
As for holding back on content, I made the decision to say whatever I want, whatever language I want, advertisers be damned. Kraft will never advertise with me, sadly, but I’m ok with that.
You are a strong, eclectic writer. I’m glad that you’re not stopping.
Marinka´s last blog ..Fashion Plate
VDog
September 7, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Heart you big time, lady.
Go with what you feel is right.
OR challenge yourself — take down the feedburner numbers, change your URL, give us JENNIFER D. the WOMAN instead of THE MOM.
Or yannow, take the VDog School of Cracker Blogging and just do what ya can, when ya can.
XOXOXO
VDog´s last blog ..Say Yes to the natural her
Leighann
September 7, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Please don’t close your curtains. We like looking in.
Leighann´s last blog ..I opened up my eyes I saw the sign…
lceel
September 8, 2009 at 9:59 am
Yes, the Internet would sigh, and then forget.
But for one. At least. But for one. This one. Would not forget.
lceel´s last blog ..Tuesday Tale – Inferno
nic @mybottlesup
September 8, 2009 at 10:35 am
shit, i just went to comment on this and dropped 2 sunflower seeds down my cleavage, so obviously i’m doing this whole blogging shit wrong too.
regardless, this was a great read and something i really needed to hear from someone other than the gnome who lives inside my head.
nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..magoo and a water bottle
Kori
September 8, 2009 at 11:03 am
Um, you have 1400 or whatever readers and you feel invisible? Please. I have on a good day 20, and damn that makes me feel good. I think you should take down the little numbers thingy and write for yourself. That’s the best any of us can do, in my opinion.
Kori´s last blog ..Beyond fame and fortune, what more do I really need?
Carissa
September 8, 2009 at 12:53 pm
First. I read that last line as without poop and circumstance. and I laughed out loud, and then I re-read and laughed at myself. So there.
For the record yours may have been one of the first sites I read regularly. Why? Because likely you commented on someone else’s blog and I saw your pithy comment and leaped over. That’s how I found most of the early sites I liked. Now?
Oh yeah, I barely FIND any new blogs… cuz as you stated.. I’m barely keeping my head above water.
I get asked.. what is your purpose to blogging.. and um.. I don’t always know.. and how dumb is that.
Oh also for the record.. it was your suggestion to try twitter exactly a year ago when i had just moved and had no local network that I figured it out. And I REALLY needed it then. Now I don’t need it and find myself looking for reasons to NOT check in with the tweeps.. but we all evolve and change..
Okay done.
Wait. I agree. I stopped reading several.. many in fact bloggers because they were so good, I felt like I was beginning to imitate them and lose my own voice, so even if my voice was crappy, at least it was MINE?
Christine
September 8, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I hate commenting, very rarely do, except on my “personal” friends blogs…you know, the friends and family I know in real life. I much prefer reading everyone else’s posts, then doing my own. I really only ever blog about what is going on w/my kids, b/c family reads my blog, and I don’t want to get anyone’s panties in a ruffle…it stinks not knowing where the boundaries are…there are so many funny things, or memorable things I’d like to write about, I get to work, get busy with my day, get lazy after reading all of my favorite blogs, that I just put it on the back burner…and then 2 weeks later I write one of those “gee, it’s been 2 weeks” posts…lame ass.
I guess I’m trying to say, you have to do it for you, and if it is something you enjoy, then keep it up. I have followed your blog for a few years now, and I always click on your link in my reader…
Sorry, I’m talking in circles, this is why I never comment…ha!
Christine´s last blog ..He knows how to pick ‘em
Must Be Motherhood
September 8, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I so totally get this, even though I’m far less visible than you. I think about quitting every day, but then I think of all these things I have to say. I quit Twitter a few weeks ago because despite the occasional conversation I felt like I was watching the cool girls in the lockerroom through a peep hole most of the time. Pointless and demoralizing.
Anyway, I think it is acutally *okay* to think of blogging as a thing you did for a while when you needed it the most. And then go out and make yourself totally visible in your community in the “skinspace.”
Or keep blogging here if you get your wings again. Or go elsewhere and we will follow you! xo
Must Be Motherhood´s last blog ..First, Middle, Last: Is Who You Are Determined by Birth Order?
Misty
September 8, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Oh just one more comment to go through, but first I have to say that every day I get a little more worried when I see you haven’t posted something. I am a newbie blogger, I shouldn’t even say blogger because I haven’t even put my first post up, I’m still trying to figure out the layout on my page
I don’t subscribe to many blogs, as someone else said Ihave them saved on my faves. You are under “ME stuff” as opposed to kid stuff, party stuff decorating food recipe blah blah blah stuff. And I read you first every time. I have linked you up on my facebook because what you say is real and funny and makes me laugh and I want to share that moment with my friends. I don’t check numbers or subscribers or followers so I had no idea you had 1400 until I read other peoples comments. It changes nothing for me if that number was 14. I like you, I like what you write, you make me laugh, and help me to have my “ME time” in this mommy filled life of mine that begs, screams, pleads for adult interaction. So I would miss you, but that’s no reason to keep going. Good luck with your struggle and I’ll keep checking in to make sure you really didn’t quit on us. 
Take care!
Michelle
September 8, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I forgot to say the other day – I love your new photo!
Some Unknown Person
September 8, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Hi,
I own a support website and more often than not, it’s a chore to keep up. I feel the pressure to read all posts and reply too. I know how you feel. What I do is take a “long” break and start fresh after a few weeks. Sometimes our world is just too crazy (with kids!) to take on another “obligation”, commitment, even when it’s a nice one.
It seems a strange thing to feel pressure from the blogger community though but I’m not in that scene so I can’t imagine how it is.
Back to basics. You’re somewhere in my IE’s favorite list. I find you have some cool things to say most of the time. That’s that. No pressure. Don’t feel like writing? If I visit and see nothing’s new I’ll just browse to another site. There are days like that offline too. Take it easy and the pressure will start to dissolve a bit you’ll see.
Jami
September 9, 2009 at 10:21 am
Jennifer – I’m not a blogger but I’d love to be one. And one of the reasons is you. I love reading your blog. Maybe you don’t have anything piogant to say but who cares! Who says you have to ? I honestly understand when yo don’t blog now and then, when you can’t answer a comment etc.because your a mom – a wife – you have a life- if you didn’t you wouldn’t have anything to right about….You could sit on a soap box and right about idk politics, but then who would want to read that?
Vicki
Twitter: TwinsMa
September 9, 2009 at 11:34 am
It’s time to forget everyone else and write for you. Plain and simple. If you feel a need to put fingers to keyboard and come up with something, do it. If you don’t, then don’t. Don’t worry about what everyone will think and how many people read your blog. It’s supposed to be about what you want. If you want to talk about the color of your children’s poo then there’s an audience for that but they aren’t important. YOU ARE WHAT’S IMPORTANT. People read blogs for a lot of different reasons, they’re nosey, they relate to the topic at hand, they think you’re funny, they like your picture, etc. but only you can decide what you write your blog for. Do what makes you happy and if no longer blogging would make you happy, we’ll all be happy for you. (We’ll miss you but we’ll be happy for you.) (((HUGS))) I hope you find your bliss soon.
McMama
Twitter: mcmama
September 9, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Reading things like this makes me actually GLAD I’m a teeny tiny minnow in the pond of blogging. I have, oh, 15 subscribers? maybe? And I, too, hate the way I come off on my blog, in large part because I don’t blog so much as journal. I try, now and again, to garner followers but you know what? I don’t have time to read blogs. Or I DO but choose to spend my Internet time elsewhere. I have maybe 5 people I really follow regularly. I took my blogher ads down once because I hated the pressure to blog every. single. week. Now I write what I want when I want and if people read, awesome, and if they don’t oh well. I try to keep track of my life here at a level of transparency I feel comfortable with. I can’t imagine if I had built up a brand and a band (of followers) and had that pressure as well. I guess what I’m trying to say is give yourself a break, hmm?
McMama´s last blog ..Runnin Down a Dream
Don Mills Diva
September 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I sooooo get this!
I have been steadily losing interest for quite a while now – I just can’t be bothered to do the endless self-promotion that seems to be requisite.
I also believe pretty strongly that blogging, in particular, parenting blogging, has jumped the shark in terms of novelty, interest and influence. It’s a trend on its way down methinks…
Don Mills Diva´s last blog ..How can you tell if your kid’s a spoiled brat?
Who’s the superhero now, huh? | Playgroups are No Place For Children
September 9, 2009 at 8:44 pm
[...] want to thank each of you for your incredibly humbling comments on my last post. I’m honored by your kind words and compliments. Perspective is something I often lose [...]
Deb
Twitter: noreturnmom
September 9, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Even as a fairly new blogger with next to no subscribers and no advertisers, I’ve felt weary and disillusioned lately too. I feel like 90% of the people who leave me comments just do it for a visit back. I’m trying to focus on the writing–for the 10% who care–but just haven’t had a post I felt great about in, well, too long. Anyway, I recently discovered your blog and really love it and am glad you’re sticking around. The blogosphere is better for it!
Deb´s last blog ..Those rules are a nuisance
Annie
September 10, 2009 at 8:16 am
I am quite sure nobody misses me lol!
Ugh – had a whole big speel in here but I can’t word it without coming off as a twit – so I’ll leave it.
Annie´s last blog ..Puncture Day!
melissa
Twitter: rockdrool
September 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm
i really blame twitter for this feeling of invisibility. i was actually writing a post about being invisible, set for tomorrow.
i think you’re awesome. you’re where i hope to be someday.
i just wrote a post today about shutting down my blog. for other reasons but…yeah.
well, i’d miss you. here and on twitter.
melissa´s last blog ..The One Where I Admit A Little Bitty Fear
Jennifer H
September 12, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Yeah, you read my mind. I feel all of these frustrations – and on Twitter, I’m pretty much the sound of one hand clapping
…
Now I post about once or twice a week, and read some of my favorite blogs when I can. It’s hard to let myself off the hook when I feel guilty about not visiting everyone who reads me, but right now I’m doing all I can. I don’t get the # of comments I used to, but I do feel like I’m living my life a little more (off of the computer, where much of it has been taking place these last two years).
Maybe there’s an ebb and flow to it, as with all things…
Jennifer H´s last blog ..Tunnel
Where ya been? « The Search For ME
September 12, 2009 at 4:15 pm
[...] to blog. Go read, “Evolution of a Blogger” at http://www.okayfinedammit.com and also “There Once was a Blogger from Nantucket” at http://www.playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com. Both intriguing women and fascinating writers, [...]
It was like looking at a mom, or something. | Playgroups are No Place For Children
September 15, 2009 at 2:23 pm
[...] recently mentioned my neighbor who doesn’t have anything covering her windows, allowing us lucky neighbors to peer inside. My husband Tate, who leaves for work ridiculously [...]
blog envy | jayesel | a woman, a toddler, a husband, and a business. what could possibly go wrong?
September 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm
[...] over at Playgroups are No Place for Children wrote a post a few weeks ago about blogging. She compared blogs to a window into our lives. And that’s exactly what it is, isn’t [...]
Janmary, n ireland
November 9, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Wow – was going to reply with “great post” but that would be WRONG!
However as this comment is in the nineties you might not read it, so maybe I would get away with it.
I don’t come here often enough but when I do I think – great writing AND the best name ever for a blog
ok – a question for you – would you recommend blogher 10 to a relative nobody blogger like me? Will be over in US next summer and should be able to fit it in …should I embrace the opportunity or run for the hills?