Some of you are going to be in shock when you read this. Others of you may question whether or not you feel like we can continue being friends.
I hope this doesn’t change things between us.
I do not really care for chocolate or sweets. I KNOW! Shocking! It’s like I just told you that I actually have a pen!s.
I can say with 100% certainty that I despise plain milk chocolate, but when forced (like when it’s sitting in front of me and my husband bought it for me as a “gift” and looks at me with wide, expectant eyes), I will eat it.
Chocolate with some sort of nut accompaniment is preferred, though it’s still not as delicious to me as a big plate of nachos with melting cheese and jalapenos. I do enjoy candies and pies and cakes and ice creams occasionally, but if given a choice, I’d prefer prime rib and a baked potato with butter and sour cream. I actually have an entire list of Chocolate and Sweets Consumption and the Enjoyment Thereof Bylaws that can be obtained for a nominal fee of $27 plus $9.95 shipping and handling, in the event you are curious as to my specific preferences and whims. (Bylaw #314b: I adore all things gummy, when the tide is out on the third Tuesday of every other month during leap years.)
I’m telling you all of this because I’m a superior wife and blogger that feels as if you need to know the aforementioned information before making a final judgment regarding an argument I’m having with my husband.
Every so often, or rather, too often, Tate comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for each of us. He prefers the chocolately ones, I like Cookies & Cream or Raspberry Cobbler. In the past, I’ve shamefully eaten every last bite of my pint of ice cream. Since I’ve been trying to be wiser about my eating habits and become a better friend to my thighs, I’ve tried to eat only 1/4 to a 1/3 of the pint, while Tate continues to snarf down all of his. I put the remainder of my ice cream in the freezer to save for another night.
Imagine my shock and horror when a few days later I discover the scent of MY ICE CREAM on Tate’s breath and find the tell tale ice cream soiled spoon on the counter. Alright, that may be hard to imagine since I just basically told you that I’m just not that into sweets, BUT!! It was MY ice cream that I WAS going to eat eventually. AND!! Having saved ice cream in the fridge meant that Tate wouldn’t have buy MORE when he inevitably went out to get Ben and Jerry’s. Also, why can’t Tate figure out how to open the dishwasher and place dirty dishes INSIDE???
Tate rolled his eyes and sighed his exasperated sigh when I yelled at him for eating MY ice cream. He explained that once the ice cream pint goes back into the freezer uneaten, it becomes fair game and that he has every right to pick up the ice cream off waivers.
“It’s not like you even really like it that much,” he retorted, getting in the last word. He then stole the remote control from my hands and forced me to watch American Rifleman, while I sat in stunned silence, mourning the loss of my ice cream. (I just made up the events in the last sentence.)
I feel that once I’ve started a pint of ice cream, particularly when he originally had his very own pint, that the ice cream remains mine for my personal consumption whenever I feel like eating it. There is no rule stating that I MUST finish the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. I also feel that I should not have to live in fear in my own HOME that my saved ice cream will be robbed, never to be seen again…(well, you know what I mean.)
So. If you were able to work past the fact that I’m not a superfan of chocolate and sweets and read this, what do you think? Does Tate have the right to eat my ice cream off waivers because “It’s not like [I] even really like it that much?” (Am refraining from capitalizing the word “MY” in the previous sentence and not using the word “steal” in the place of “eat” because I want to be a RESPONSIBLE and FAIR blogger and not sway your decision in any way.)