{W}rite of Passage: Lizbeth

She sensed her mother’s presence even through the fog of sleep and snot. Lizbeth sunk deeper under the sheets willing her mother to please leave, to please turn her ducky humidifier back on, and to please just let her sleep.

Her mother’s hand rested on her clammy forehead, Lizbeth’s blond curls falling onto her mother’s perfectly french manicured nails. The light of the chandelier above her bed illuminated her room, but it felt blinding to her.

Lizbeth tried to breathe in through her nose. It felt like the time that mean third grader, Jace Upsinger, had held her nose closed on the playground. She couldn’t breathe, except through her mouth. Too bad she couldn’t get away from her mother by kicking her like she had that stupid Jace Upsinger. She pulled the covers over her head to block out the light and turned her tiny body away from her mother.

“Lizbeth,” her mother sighed, “You have been sick this entire Christmas break! Surely after two weeks, you’re feeling better today. I’m certain you don’t have a fever, just a stuffy nose. You’re fine! I have Pilates this morning and I’m not going to miss it. You need to get up and get dressed because we are leaving soon.”

Lizbeth immediately thought of Amanda, her most favorite babysitter who let her play with all of her toys at once and didn’t care if she made a mess or got dirty.

“You mean I can keep my Barbies out even if I want to play with my castle now?” she’d asked Amanda the week before when she’d come over to babysit. Amanda had told her that she could play with her Barbies, her castle, her Easy Bake Oven, her stuffed animals, anything she wanted and didn’t even have to put it all away until it was time for her to go home.

“My mommy NEVER lets me do that!” Lizbeth had squealed with delight, between coughs. She’d been so sick that day that she hadn’t ended up playing with all her toys at once, but instead fell asleep on her playroom floor.

Lizbeth rolled back towards her mother who had already opened her shoe closet and was reaching for her Uggs. “Mommy? Can Amanda just come over and stay with me? I don’t want to go to your gym. I feel sick.”

“I’ve spoken with Amanda’s mother this morning, but unfortunately she is not feeling well and cannot come over. Now get up, the maid will be here soon to clean and we need to get going if I’m going to make my class,” her mother turned and walked out of Lizbeth’s room. “I’ll meet you downstairs with a banana and a glass of juice, Lizbeth.”

Reluctantly, Lizbeth rolled out of bed and got dressed as her mother asked.

On the ride to the gym, Lizbeth pressed her face against the cold glass of the window in the backseat of the Mercedes. Her ponytail felt too tight and her pink hoodie felt too itchy. She willed herself to just stay well enough to make it through her Mommy’s class, and to make sure she didn’t let the gym babysitters see that she was sick. Her mommy would be so mad, she knew, if she got called out of her class because she’d let them know she was sick.

“Ta ta, Lizbeth!” her mother smiled and waved as she dropped Lizbeth off in the kid’s area.

She’d had to pretend before, lots of times, so she knew that she’d better stay far away from the babysitters. Her stomach gurgled and churned and her head throbbed as she made her way to the book corner in the back of the room. For two hours she sat and stared at the letter “A” and the cartoon alligator on the carpet, trying to feel better and hoping that her mommy would please hurry back.

When her mother finally returned, she’d showered and put on her make-up. “She looks so pretty”, thought Lizbeth, as she walked slowly to her mother, afraid of the sloshing in her stomach. Her mother walked several steps ahead as Lizbeth tried to keep up, her little legs struggling to match her mother’s long gait.

Lizbeth cried out after her, “Mommy wait!”

As her mother turned around, annoyed, Lizbeth caught up to her and promptly barfed all over her mother’s Dolce and Gabbana boots.

**********************

This is my entry for the {W}rite of Passage Challenge. Today’s challenge was “Character.” This is a work of fiction, but based on a little girl I saw this weekend.

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24 Responses to {W}rite of Passage: Lizbeth
  1. Heidi
    December 7, 2009 | 5:20 pm

    Wow! I’ve always wished I could write this well, but God made me good at math, so all the writing skills went out the window.

    I actually feel very worried for this character. I hope she makes it!

  2. pgoodness
    December 7, 2009 | 5:23 pm

    Fabulous!!!
    .-= pgoodness´s last blog ..On 36 =-.

  3. Annie Anderson
    December 7, 2009 | 6:04 pm

    Boy, I’d like to go puke all over Lisbeth’s mommy’s Dolce and Gabbana boots too. AND in the back of the Mercedes!

    Great writing.
    .-= Annie Anderson´s last blog ..{W} Challenge 1 – Character =-.

  4. patois
    December 7, 2009 | 6:13 pm

    I’m afraid I can only come up with gushing comments. Gush, gush, gush.
    .-= patois´s last blog ..The Ghosts of Christmases Past =-.

  5. Brigid
    December 7, 2009 | 7:20 pm

    The one time in my life I am glad someone puked.
    .-= Brigid´s last blog ..strangers =-.

  6. Brigid
    December 7, 2009 | 7:21 pm

    (I meant because the mom obviously deserved it. Not that I wanted that poor girl to be ill.)
    .-= Brigid´s last blog ..strangers =-.

  7. melissa
    December 7, 2009 | 9:25 pm

    is it mean to say that i was happy she puked on her moms boots?
    my son goes to school with so many kids who have moms just like her.
    this could have been any one of their stories.
    it was fricking awesome woman!!
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..Writing Challenge: Character =-.

  8. amber
    December 7, 2009 | 10:33 pm

    Snort. Anyone who owns dolce and gabbana boots deserves to have them puked on…especially if they act like that. Poor little lisbeth!
    .-= amber´s last blog ..The Sign. =-.

  9. Sarah
    December 7, 2009 | 10:35 pm

    This was fabulous! From the first few sentences I was very drawn in and concerned about this character. I was praying it wasn’t a memory from your own life!
    I feel so bad for the real little girl.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..*Also, Sugar =-.

  10. Beth
    December 7, 2009 | 10:43 pm

    Wow! That was amazing! I was really crying for that poor little girl……so glad it all worked out in the end.

  11. Natalie
    December 7, 2009 | 11:13 pm

    Love it though it does make me sad. Too many little ones like Lizbeth get the message from their parents that they are not the priority. Poor thing just needed a “couch bed”, some soup, and mama cuddles (or Amanda cuddles) to make it all go away. Great writing!

  12. Keri
    December 7, 2009 | 11:21 pm

    That sucked. You suck.

    Sissy informed me that today was Opposite Day.

    ;)

  13. Mrs. Flinger
    December 8, 2009 | 12:29 am

    I was seriously in to this post. Maybe it’s because I’m a mom of a five year old girl and sometimes I get too caught up in my own life. I was thinking to myself, “Would I be that mom?” Aside from the awesome material stuff, of course, which we don’t own.

    But I started to identify too much with the annoyance of the sick kid and making kids put their toys away.

    OMG JENNIFER. I promise Lizbeth that I’ll let my kids play with ALL their toys. Promise.
    .-= Mrs. Flinger´s last blog ..Writing Challenge 1- Official Launch : Character =-.

  14. Dawn @ Heartbroken
    December 8, 2009 | 10:01 am

    YAYYYYYYYY! That’s SUCH a Jennifer ending! :D
    .-= Dawn @ Heartbroken´s last blog ..Glass =-.

  15. Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You
    December 8, 2009 | 10:02 am

    LOL Good for her! Great job, Jennifer, as always!
    .-= Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You´s last blog ..Facebook = Beacon of responsibility? =-.

  16. Burgh Baby
    December 8, 2009 | 1:19 pm

    Bravo!
    .-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..I’m Disappointed in Me =-.

    • Jennifer
      December 10, 2009 | 8:24 am

      hey I’m doing some work for Jen on her site- just testing comments & needed to post one. HI BURGH BABY’S MOM!!! (This is jayesel, in case you were wondering.)

      • Jennifer
        December 10, 2009 | 8:24 am

        Another test!!! :)

  17. ~Laura
    December 8, 2009 | 1:25 pm

    This is a great start to a story. I hope you keep developing it!

  18. Liz@thisfullhouse
    December 8, 2009 | 1:50 pm

    I was also rooting for puke!!!
    .-= Liz@thisfullhouse´s last blog ..Writing Challenge #1: Character – Senior Moment =-.

  19. Luigi
    December 9, 2009 | 2:35 am

    I really feel so bad for the little girl too, but thank you for sharing this story. This post makes a real revelation.

  20. Secret Agent {Mishi}
    December 9, 2009 | 9:08 am

    Ohhh I want to do way worse than puke on that lady who thinks she’s a mom.
    .-= Secret Agent {Mishi}´s last blog ..Numbers =-.

  21. Secret Agent {Mishi}
    December 9, 2009 | 9:09 am

    P.S. EXCELLENT writing, J! xoxox
    .-= Secret Agent {Mishi}´s last blog ..Numbers =-.

  22. Boy Crazy (@claritychaos)
    December 12, 2009 | 12:52 pm

    Nice!You really had me ready to deck that mom. Great details painting a picture of who she was.

    Here via Write of Passage (although I think I’ve been here before?) Anyway, just wanted to say hello and nicely done as I make my way through the links.

    -elizabeth
    .-= Boy Crazy (@claritychaos)´s last blog ..Friday Fiction: character development =-.