Life had been going really well for me.
Then one morning last week, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It’s not that odd to have a bad day, it happens occasionally. I spent the day giving myself little pep talks. “Just relax! Tomorrow will be better!!!” I’d said to my myself, exclamation points and all.
Then the next day came and it wasn’t better. It has now been over a week and this terrible mood has yet to lift. The children’s voices have seemed more shrieky each day. I’m barely able to deal with their typical preschool-age behavior, everything they do seems like they are out to personally assault my sanity. Carson is going through a difficult “stage” (four years and still going strong!) and Ella vascillates between being the sweetest child on the planet and one that I’ve considered locking in the basement.
Then there’s Tate and well, Tate has been completely unable to do anything right in my eyes. He says all the wrong things, tries too hard to make me happy, and he isn’t like the pictures of my Facebook friends’ smiling husbands who I just know, surprise their wives with completely planned nights away and worship the grounds their wives walk on.
I feel sorry for him right now because it cannot be easy to be married to me.
My daily pep talks are sounding less like “tomorrow will be better” and more like “don’t hurt anyone today” and “screaming is bad for your vocal cords.” I’ve been doing things I love, like making delicious meals, taking hot baths while reading a book, taking pictures. Nothing has brought me joy, though. Tate’s even let me be in control of the remote control in the evenings (probably because he fears for his life if he doesn’t, but whatever).
I hate to complain about my life. I mean, SERIOUSLY. There are people out there with REAL issues. Other than some cold weather keeping us indoors and life’s typical up and downs, I should have nothing to complain about. My life? It’s charmed. It’s good.
“My life. It’s charmed. It’s good,” I said to myself, over and over…
If it makes you feel any better, my husband has never once planned a night away for us and he’s not really the ground-worshipping type.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Morning, Afternoon, Evening =-.
I wish I wasn’t so shallow, but yes…it does make me feel better!
My husband has never done that either. In fact, when I try to talk to him about our weekend getaway for our 10th anniversary next year, it’s as though he doesn’t care!
And chance are – that photo you’re looking at on facebook – someone was probably crying or whining or complaining or just being a pain in my ass just minutes before it was taken and again minutes after.
I agree with what others are saying – feelings are feelings. For me – it IS the winter months that are hard. Today on the way home from the gym I thought to myself, “Man, I’m a much better person in the summer.” And that’s with regular exercise and vitD supplements in the winter – it’s just when I get in my funk.
So, yeah, I hope you start feeling better soon. Like, tomorrow, sure, tomorrow will be better. =)
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..No Wonder… =-.
If my husband planned a night out away for us, it would make me so suspicious, I would probably kill him on the spot. For some strange reason, he wants to avoid that.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Define This =-.
Seems to be going around. I’m forcing myself out of the house daily but it’s not helping. And it’s not even really winter here given that it was seventy degrees this afternoon, so I’ve got nothing to blame.
.-= Mama Bub´s last blog ..Bows! =-.
Maybe you are just a little vitamin D deficient. Has the sun been shining lately? I get all S.A.D. in the winter, although I do live near Chicago, so the weather truely sucks. Buy one of the those lamps and bask under it!
.-= Gail´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Baby Girl! =-.
I went through this last year. I figured that it’s seasonal depression disorder or something. It is an AWFUL feeling, and I wish I knew what to tell you. Exercise, sunshine, vit D supplements, I dunno. I’m dreading it coming back this year. I’m trying to ward it off with regular exercise, but I don’t know if it will work. Hang in there.
Sounds like you need a girl’s night out lady! Or some Jennifer time – and not just mommy and wife time – out of the house – away from everyone.
I do this from time to time with girlfriends (not nearly as often as any of us would like) but it’s good for me – and everyone who has to be near me
I am going to nashville for Blissdom in a few weeks…and hopefully out to dinner on Saturday night. I do need to get out of the house. For everybody’s sakes.
I think exercise does have a huge impact…but that is the last thing I want to do when I am in your kind of funk. Can you go somewhere for the weekend..i find that getting away from the house for a night will make you appreciate being cozy and at home again.
Hang in there!
.-= Sarah´s last blog .."MAMA! Out." =-.
Two words….CABIN FEVER!! Go out, get a pedi, buy a new spring outfit(it will come) and count your blessings. Love you
It IS going around. Do you think we’ve all been blasted with some secret foreign government toxic agent that has turned us all into moody beasts? Ugh. I know someone above said “cabin fever” but it isn’t that. At least for me. It’s much, much more than that. I feel stuck in it. I feel covered in it. Blech.
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..Don’t Look if You’re Squeamish =-.
(((Hugs))) Sorry. I’ve SO been there. Haven’t found the cure though. The thing is, it doesn’t matter how we think we *should* feel, there’s no way to make ourselves feel that way. It also doesn’t matter that there are children starving in Africa or whatever, feelings are feelings.
Hope the cloud lifts soon…for both of us.
.-= Mom24@4evermom´s last blog ..Back to Basics Challenge Update =-.
You said exactly what I was trying to say, that even with things like children in Africa starving, my feelings are just there, unchangeable. Hope the cloud lifts soon, also. Thank you.
I think you just described the day I am having today. I hope this doesn’t last to long.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..7 quick takes….a day late =-.
Hang in there. If it makes you feel better I always get in a terrible funk in January and February. So far this month (knocks on wood) it hasn’t been so bad. You are home a lot with young children and that’s enough to make anyone lose it a little. There I said it! I was home most of last week with my girls due to our big snow here in Nashville (ha ha) and was SO THANKFUL to get out yesterday for a conference and today to go into work since school was back in session. Booya!
p.s. see you soon!
Well, Zack has been driving me insane since just after Christmas… I have been at my wits end with him! So you’re not alone!
It’s just a phase… it’s just a phase… it’s just a phase…
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..No, seriously… SERIOUSLY??? =-.
I have so been there with the “I know I’m lucky and so many people have it so much worse but damn am I struggling” blues.
Last April when it seemed like Chicago’s winter was never going to end, I reached a point where I actually felt as if I was toxic, like my foul mood was poisoning everything and everyone around me. I could not figure out how to change or improve it. I’m not sure how/why the fog eventually lifted, but the good news is that it always does.
Hang in there and maybe hire a babysitter for a few hours here and there.
.-= mep´s last blog ..Tale of Two Closets =-.
Jennifer, I hate to sound so redundant but you are SO not alone. I’m sorry you are in a funk but next week it could be my number!
I think our emotions are real and and relative to our lives even though we know we should be grateful for living like queens. Personally, my feeling is that God meets you right where you are and loves you too much to let you stay there. I’ve had to remind myself of this more times than I care to admit. And well, as you Twittered, cheap wine helps, too. 
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..“Pay It Forward” at Target =-.
Ummm. Hi. I’m crying now because THIS HAS BEEN MY WEEK. I have been complaining about everything, all the time. And then I feel worthless for complaining when in reality, I have a pretty cush life. Not the best week for me to have given up chocolate. Hugs to you.
.-= Brigid´s last blog ..16 =-.
Some things that help me in the (inevitable) doldrums of winter: getting a haircut, rearranging furniture, painting/redesigning a room or completing any sort of indoor “home project” that I WON’T want to be doing when it’s nice outside, printing and framing some new photos, decluttering (oh the joys of throwing shit away!!!), buying myself some flowers for the table…
I’m hoping something on that list will pop out at you. Heck, I’m hoping something on that list will pop out at ME….
.-= Marie Green´s last blog ..A Place in the Sun =-.
I would like to take you out on a date somewhere, preferably where they let women like us break shit and scream at the top of our lungs while we drink alcoholic beverages.
Let’s find someplace like that in TN, STAT, k?
<3
Plain and simple…that sucks. When I have gone through similar episodes in the past, there is always one thing that helps me…you can change almost anything about your life.
We lived in Mexico in 2003 and when we returned to the US in 2004, I vividly remember driving to work with my husband (we both work at the same company.) I was almost to the point where I asked him to turn the car around because I so didn’t want to go to work and was tired of our lives. It is quite possible I was crying, I don’t remember that part.
Anyway, Andy, my husband, said, “Alecia, we can change anything you want. We don’t have to live here, we don’t have to work where we work, we can pick up and do whatever we want…we are not trapped. We can move to New Zealand, we can change it all tomorrow.”
And do you want to know what we changed…at that time, absolutely nothing. But just knowing that we could change it was all I needed.
Hope that helps. Hugs.
.-= Alecia, http://hoobingfamilyadventures.com´s last blog ..Advanced Breastfeeding =-.
And again you have written the post that was in my head.
You know it is exactly these days that brought me to name my blog The Glamorous Life. It all looks so charmed and fabulous and damn GLAMOROUS from the outside. But somedays (not all days) but some days? It is like a little prison of my own making. Like being on a really really bad cruise- that I can never get off.
Hang tough. and remember…fake it till you feel it.
It will come back.
It always does.
.-= The Glamorous Life Association´s last blog ..First do-it-yourself AdTalk! =-.
Well, I don’t think you’re depressed, but if you’d been feeling this way for over 6 weeks or so I’d say you might want to get that checked out. Have you had time to yourself lately? I was feeling like this semi-recently and pretty much forced my hubby to look after the kids while I spent 10 hours in the city. Which I haven’t done for five years. I’m new to your blog and low on energy to go looking to see if you’re a SAHM or a working mom but either way if you’re always doing something for others you need to craft out some time for you too.
.-= Melodie´s last blog ..Mindfully Loving My Children =-.
Yea, I’m having issues with Caden right now. I try and explain everything to my mom, and husband. Basically they just tell me that “I need to get over my anxiety”.
I would say that early November to right about now has just plain sucked. I try to explain all my issues but no one listens. I even screamed, does anyone ask me what’s wrong? What they can DO for ME, for once?
Sigh…I almost made one of those paper chains to count down to Blissdom. I need to RUN AWAY!
.-= Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Musical Beds =-.
I was there yesterday, and actually thought that today would be worse. I felt, as I went to bed that I was sinking into the abyss.
Don’t know exactly what or how it happened but today was better. Hang in there. You’ll recharge in a couple of weeks and feel better. At least you have Blissdom to look forward to! (Me? Not so much so let’s hope mine lasts.)
.-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..Italian Spinach =-.
I’ve been like that too. (And we’ve had very nice OC weather, so no way to blame it on the weather.) My Inner Bitch is getting impossible to contain and I don’t even know why. Maybe I need a trip to the smokies?
: )
.-= Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..500th Post and Giveaway! =-.
Chad is in LA this past week. The snow days and scary low temps kept the kids and me inside. I told him I was going to box them up and ship them to him. He laughed it off. Later he heard them bickering and said to not worry about cutting airholes in the box, they will have killed each other before they run out of air.
I feel your pain.
Just be thankful you didn’t have to clean spaghetti puke out of the carpet and off the curtain at 1am this morning. I still smell puke in the room.
ps not lower Alabama LA either.
And he called me while ordering raspberry truffle cheesecake at dinner tonight.
He may never get lucky again for that one sin.
PMS? Mine was. My family were lucky to survive and we’re not quite done yet.
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..It’s hard sometimes. =-.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling like that, but I feel bad that we moms feel guilty for feeling like that, because in the global perspective, we lead a charmed life. Yes, we have running water, so we’re already doing a lot better than a big chunk of the world, but it doesn’t mean that things don’t suck right now.
It’s hard taking care of everyone. It’s hard coming down from the Christmas high.
Unmedicated, yet. I hope that you are kind to yourself.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Define This =-.
I think it’s safe to say that on some level we can all relate! Hang in, it will get better soon! ((Hugs!))
.-= Natalia Burleson´s last blog ..Weigh In Wednesday =-.
You just described my month. I’m feeling like my husband just doesn’t appreciate me or give a shit about what’s going on in my life. I should be happy. I don’t have to work and take care of the house, kids and life. But the stuck inside with 2 wild monkeys makes me want to sign a contract to work anywhere far away from here.
Wait this post was about you. ((hugs)) Thinking of you. If it helps my husband never brings me flowers, plans trips and has never surprised me with anything but a 52″ tv that he bought for himself.
We are all entitled to a bad day, a bad week or even a bad month. It doesn’t make us bad people or weak. I think that sometimes as moms we forget that we too are human…and last time I checked, humans had feelings, both good and bad.
Hopefully the sun will shine on you soon and warm your days and brighten your spirits. In the meantime….perhaps pints, upon pints of ice cream?
.-= HaB´s last blog ..Good Intentions =-.
I believe that life is like the pendulum of a clock – it constantly swings back & forth, but the rate changes. On the two ends, the pendulum is really high and life kicks ass! then it starts the downswing & there’s a moment when it can’t get any lower… then life sucks. BUT the pendulum is always swinging, maybe not at a constant rate though, so you never know how long each phase will last, but it does pass. Your pendulum will start the upswing – just give it time.
ugh, sorry to hear, i swear the only thing that keeps me up and at em is exercise. i make it to the gym everyday, and i have signed up for runs and tris and having a challenge ahead of me and a hobby that is for ME only, has truly helped. the endorphins are such a natural happy pill…..
.-= triftimom´s last blog ..Momtrends ….. =-.
I totally understand!! I recently finished reading “Half the Sky” and when I was done I thought, “WOW – I will never fall into the sad-self-pity mode again”
Then, it happened anyway. I blame it on the fact I just had a baby 5 months ago – my hormones aren’t normal, right?? RIGHT??
Hope you snap outta it – it totally blows!!
Oh Jennifer. You aren’t alone. Somedays I wish I could just pack up the kids and send them to day care so I can go to work because I crave adult interactions. It gets bad around this time when we are stuck indoors. Sending you lots of hugs.
.-= OHmommy´s last blog ..Welcome to America, Apolonia! =-.
These days/weeks/months totally suck!! I hope you get out of the funk soon. My chiro gave me some herbal energy pills that he makes himself (he’s also a Dr. of Naturopathy) and they’ve helped my mood considerably.
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Thirteen =-.
i’ve been blaming my foul mood on end-of-pregnancy. but oh holy crap. it’s just not gonna go away … and if it DOESN’T go away after this baby makes his exit out of my body … i’m just gonna sit in a corner and cry.
and i know. i’m pretty sure that didn’t make you feel better at all.
sorry.
.-= jen´s last blog ..nesting … and a giveaway. =-.
You made the Babble Top 50 List! Horray!
It sounds like you’ve got a touch of the winter blahs. I’m a SAD girl myself, and my lightbox and regular exercise keep me from totally losing it. Mostly. Keep up the pep talks and talk to friends. And if it doesn’t pass, there’s always therapy.
.-= Must Be Motherhood´s last blog ..A Decade in the Blink of an Eye =-.
My last two blogs were about this same thing!!! I’ve never been depressed, I don’t have kids (yet) to drive me up the wall and I’m planning a wedding. Should be the happiest girl on Earth…but the last couple of weeks have been the worst (in my head). Weird. Maybe it’s the start of a new year after coming off a horrible year and we are thinking the worst about 2010. Who knows. Let’s all have a margarita and cheer the hell up! (That’s my personal pep talk. I’ll let you know if it works.)
.-= Amie´s last blog ..Completely Overwhelmed =-.
Awww, I am sorry your having a bit of a rough patch right now. But hey as mommy’s and considered to be the glue that holds are families together day in and day out, sometimes we dont feel very appreciated. I think it’s completely natural for us to go through a tough spell every now and then…Dont let yourself feel bad for it, we are often left behind and brushed off as mothers and wives, our loved ones dont mean it, just somehow it happens. Keep your head up and smile it will pass. Have a great day!
I cannot WAIT for Blissdom to meet you in the flesh! (Oooh did that sound too Hannibal Lectorish?)
Anyway, we will VENT to each other. Because I know. I. Know. I KNOW how you feel.
.-= Trenches of Mommyhood´s last blog ..PPD and Me (Part One) =-.
I’ll just jump on the Seasonal Affective Disorder bandwagon. January in New England would completely change my personality year after year. It’s plenty cold down here in Alabama, but at least the sun shines and there is no bitter wind off the ocean, so I seem to have shaken it a bit. I hope Nashville breaks up the blahs for you.
.-= Country-Fried Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
You don’t know me, and I don’t know you (other than reading your great blog daily), but my advice would be to talk with someone (a professional) and sort through whatever you’re going through. Sometimes it’s better to talk with someone (a professional) that is not involved personally and is not too close to the situation. No shame in going to talk to someone, if you don’t take time to take care of you, who will? Good luck, I hope you can find your happy place
.
My husband got laid off from his **2/3 of our income** job on 1/4/10 (happy effing new year!)…add on the fact that we can’t get outside with our kids to make them less annoying has me in a complete panic-ridden tizzy. And? My sympathy ended over the weekend when he laid on the couch with his hand down his pants watching football the entire time.
I can’t blog about it, too many people he wouldn’t want to know might see it…so I’ve just kind of stopped writing…which has me feeling completely disconnected.
So, I feel for you in that sometimes things just suck, whether they should or not, and I hope things get better for us all!
.-= Christine´s last blog ..Looks can be deceiving! =-.
Other people’s suffering need not diminish your own. Being holed up with the kids for an extended (or even not so extended) period of time is more than enough to sour a mommy’s mood. Go figure, it was the topic of my post today. Suffering is relative and yours is no less real than anyone else’s.
Also, keep in mind that your facebook likely portrays a happy life too. We can’t see behind the pictures.
p.s. just to make you feel a little better… not only did my husband not get me a Christmas gift this year, but for all intents and purposes he’s never gotten me one (birthday either). he didn’t get me an engagement or wedding ring and he’s certainly never surprised me with a getaway or trip. not to say he’s not a good husband and father… he is, just not good at the romantical stuff. seriously – he thinks grabbing the unoccupied boob while I’m nursing turns me on. UHG.
sorry for the novel :-/
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Putting on My Big Girl Pants and Playing "Mommy" =-.
Can I just tell you that I feel EXACTLY the same? And I am one of the most, maybe to some even annoyingly, positive people. I am always easy, breezy and happy. Don’t really have any issues and always find the silver lining, always.
But something happened two days ago and I CAN NOT shake it. I know it is just the weather and I can’t wait for it to warm up because I am just so sick and tired of being so cold.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon and if you don’t, don’t worry about it, everyone is allowed to be down at times.
Sadie at heymamas
Meh. So I haven’t read the other comments (because I’m lazy like that) but I have these days, weeks, often. Blah. So I’m sorry. I totally understand. And my husband hasn’t planned a weekend or getaway for us once. And he’s smiling on my facebook page. The other night I had to BEG (seriously) for him to send me a “lovenote” via email, so that I could be reminded that he loved me (because we here at our house have been having that problem lately). Lovenote: Jess, I’m grateful for the love I feel for you that helps me through all of our hard and stormy times.
For. Real.
I begged for that. And then nearly chopped him into little pieces with a plastic knife when he came home from work. Screw planned night outs, I’m planning one this weekend and I be going ALONE. Heh. I digress.
And it doesn’t matter that people have harder stuff, or different stuff, or whatever stuff. If you break your leg, it hurts. It may not hurt as much as someone who, i don’t know, had their leg chopped off (if you stop reading now i totally don’t blame you), but your leg still hurts. Someone else’s greater pain, does not make your pain less.
Sooo (deep breath) don’t beat yourself up over your broken leg. It’s real.
You mean there are husbands that do that kind of stuff?
No way, I want a refund.
““My life. It’s charmed. It’s good,” I said to myself, over and over…”
Hee, but also – awwwww… Picture me giving you many comforting pats on the back. (Although that might not actually be comforting, since I’m a STRANGER. So maybe picture me standing a respectful difference away, but giving you a reassuring, sympathetic, non-creepy look.)
I just wrote a post where I said I will be HAPPY IF IT KILLS ME, DAMMIT. And I will. And so will you.
Hang in there.
I read this yesterday and so wanted to respond … yet from someone who is clearly down in the dumps, I wasn’t sure what to say … except to express empathy.
Living a *charmed* life in a 3rd world country is very difficult… to the point of having a breakdown. And the pep talk? I give it to myself every-single-day… um… still not working.
Here’s sending you a little sanity … though I kept a bottle for myself, just in case it actually begins to change one of these days.
.-= jill´s last blog ..My Parents Came to Chennai And All They Brought Us Was … =-.
I don’t really thing there are husbands out there who plan unexpected, surprise getaways. At least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.
January & February are HORRIBLE months for this kind of thing. Hopefully, it’s just the lack of sunshine and the dreary days that are contributing to your mood.
If all else fails, plan a day (or weekend or week or month, heh) away and allow yourself to do whatever YOU want. It may not fix anything long term, but at least for a minute, you’ll be stress-free.
.-= punkinmama´s last blog ..Project 365: 2010 =-.
I don’t really thing there are husbands out there who plan unexpected, surprise getaways. At least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.
January & February are HORRIBLE months for this kind of thing. Hopefully, it’s just the lack of sunshine and the dreary days that are contributing to your mood.
If all else fails, plan a day (or weekend or week or month, heh) away and allow yourself to do whatever YOU want. It may not fix anything long term, but at least for a minute, you’ll be stress-free.
.-= punkinmama´s last blog ..Project 365: 2010 =-.