Have I ever told you about the time I was stung by a bee when I was in third grade? Well, when I was in third grade, I was stung by a bee. The bee stung me on my pinky finger at recess, and my teacher Mrs. McMEANASCANBE said to me when I came crying to her, “Jenny, you are acting like a kindergartner.” Rude!
It’s only been within the last few years that I’ve forgiven her for calling me a kindergartner when I was clearly in pain and I most certainly was not a kindergartner, but a a very mature third grader.
Now that I have kids, I try not to act like a giant sissy when I see a stinging insect ready to attack. I probably deserve a trophy or monetary reward for my ability to remain calm in front of my kids, even with giant wasps and bees staring at me from behind their creepy hiding places. My initial response is to run away, screaming with my arms flailing, but I don’t. I act like an adult for the sake of Carson and Ella.
Unfortunately last summer, Carson was stung by a bee, oddly enough, on his pinky finger. This has put a major cramp in my quest to create non-sissified children.
“BUG!” Carson screams like a girl, with genuine fright. It’s a gnat, but he doesn’t care.
I have tried to reason with him, and have explained that he’s probably already received his quota of bee stings for a lifetime.
“Carson, SERIOUSLY. I’ve been stung only once in my WHOLE LIFE and I’m really OLD. I’m thirty-five! You’ll probably never be stung again!”
We’ve been spending more time outside since it’s been so warm and I’ve probably had this conversation with the kids nearly everyday for the past few weeks. It’s exhausting because there are bugs everywhere. Most of these bugs are so minuscule NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH has ever even seen most of these bugs, except for my eagle-eyed, sissy children.
Today I was stung on my stomach by a bumblebee that somehow got stuck in between the layers of my shirt. (How random is that? A bumblebee inside my the layers of my shirt???)
“So…,” Carson eyed me, obviously considering this very rare attack, “Now you’ve been stung twice, huh?”
If I ever plan on us going outside again I’m going to have to come up with some new material to reason with Carson now that statistics are no longer on my side.