Have I ever told you about the time I was stung by a bee when I was in third grade? Well, when I was in third grade, I was stung by a bee. The bee stung me on my pinky finger at recess, and my teacher Mrs. McMEANASCANBE said to me when I came crying to her, “Jenny, you are acting like a kindergartner.” Rude!
It’s only been within the last few years that I’ve forgiven her for calling me a kindergartner when I was clearly in pain and I most certainly was not a kindergartner, but a a very mature third grader.
Now that I have kids, I try not to act like a giant sissy when I see a stinging insect ready to attack. I probably deserve a trophy or monetary reward for my ability to remain calm in front of my kids, even with giant wasps and bees staring at me from behind their creepy hiding places. My initial response is to run away, screaming with my arms flailing, but I don’t. I act like an adult for the sake of Carson and Ella.
Unfortunately last summer, Carson was stung by a bee, oddly enough, on his pinky finger. This has put a major cramp in my quest to create non-sissified children.
“BUG!” Carson screams like a girl, with genuine fright. It’s a gnat, but he doesn’t care.
I have tried to reason with him, and have explained that he’s probably already received his quota of bee stings for a lifetime.
“Carson, SERIOUSLY. I’ve been stung only once in my WHOLE LIFE and I’m really OLD. I’m thirty-five! You’ll probably never be stung again!”
We’ve been spending more time outside since it’s been so warm and I’ve probably had this conversation with the kids nearly everyday for the past few weeks. It’s exhausting because there are bugs everywhere. Most of these bugs are so minuscule NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH has ever even seen most of these bugs, except for my eagle-eyed, sissy children.
Today I was stung on my stomach by a bumblebee that somehow got stuck in between the layers of my shirt. (How random is that? A bumblebee inside my the layers of my shirt???)
“So…,” Carson eyed me, obviously considering this very rare attack, “Now you’ve been stung twice, huh?”
If I ever plan on us going outside again I’m going to have to come up with some new material to reason with Carson now that statistics are no longer on my side.
I managed to get stung by a bee on my stomach through my shirt last summer! Sucky!
My question is, why do we have to pretend like we aren’t scared of bees and other stinging insects? WHY? It seems like every single person I know is actually terrified but somehow we decided we have to put on a brave/calm face for our kids so they wo’t be afraid. But both my kids (and most little kids I know) are instinctively afraid of stinging insects, even if they’ve never been stung. It’s in our nature! Why must we resist it???
I propose a new paradigm in which we all run screaming into the horizon every time we are faced with a bee or wasp.
My family and I went hiking, there was a bee that was following me, maybe it was because I had not showered, maybe not, but I handed the kids to my husband and took off running down the mountain! I have never been stung, I don’t want to be!! The END!
I TOTALLY LOVE Shannon’s idea! Made me smile!
true story.
semi-dead bee on top of my car in the autumn cold blew OFF the car and INTO the waistband of my jeans and began stinging the crap outta me as i quickly DEPANTSED myself in the middle of the parking lot of a very very TALL hotel. with millions of windows.
lesson to be learned … run like hell whenever you see a bee. dead or alive.
i have no advice. and clearly i’m not helping with your “issue” either.
i’ll let myself out.
.-= jen´s last blog ..fix it friday … =-.
I’ve stepped on a bee…on my clover lawn…twice…a week apart…you’d think I’d learn…but….
Maybe you could get a magnifying glass so you and the kids could examine the bugs and they may not be so terrifying to them. Then again, they might see how they really look so they are more terrified.
I may or may not have helped you then.
I have a weird relationship with bees. I spent the first 17 years of my life without ever getting stung. Then the bees clearly rallied and were like “game on”.
My most recent two stings?
1. Last fall. I caught a bee in my cleavage. Like, you know that picture of the chick with the kitten in her boobs? Imagine a bee. and that was me!
2. Last summer. I sat on a bee while chasing an angry camper. Who then promptly said “HA! I wanted that to happen!” when I yelped and grabbed my butt. and the rest of the camp staff laughed at me.
I am 33 and I have never been stung by anything in my life and I am terrified that I will die if I am. Who knows i could be deathly allergic? It’s hard to not run screaming when I see one.
Those bees are tricky, my husband got stung last year when one got stuck under his shirt…what do the think they will find under a shirt?
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Published =-.
what do the think they will find under a shirt?
A HAWT body, of course!
bees suck. we should be scared. they ARE scary.
this coming from the chick who has stepped on no less than three bees.
trust me.
*ouch*
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..The Calendar Says It’s Monday, But My Body Doth Protest. =-.
You can tell him about your friend in Ohio that carries around an epi pen so that she won’t die if she gets stung, but she still goes outside and enjoys nature & the bugs.
Wait, you probably shouldn’t tell him that people can die from stings….that could create a whole new set of issues.
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..The Nineteenth of May =-.
One time a bee flew up my shirt, but it didn’t sting me! It just kind of fell out and died. It was so weird, I actually wrote a post about it. http://rimarama.blogspot.com/2008/08/boobees.html
.-= rima´s last blog ..This Post Has Not Been Edited and Has No Real Point =-.
I’ve never been stung.
Watch. This post will jinx me. I am almost sure of it. Things like that happen to me all the time.
… and now, I am singing.. “I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee….”
OUCH.
1) even as a little girl, I can’t imagine you as a Jenny
2) BAD TEACHER
3) OUCH
4) YOWZA
HA! He’s got you there, Mom
(sorry you got stung. OUCH!)
.-= Jen´s last blog ..You Capture: depth of field =-.
My children hate bugs too! I’m glad I’m not the only one with children who are reduced to quivering puddles at the sight of a housefly.
Thanks for making me feel better!
we have 23 azalea plants in our front yard alone, so needless to say, every spring, the bees are abound! My kids never have even gotten stung by one but nonetheless have declared spring as thier least favorite season due to the bees and the stinging potential. I feel your pain on the sissiness issue. They are better this year, but last spring, it took a lot of convincing for me to get them to go outside even though they’d been cooped up all winter, the kids that is.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Summer Field Trips =-.
Carson stung you with a nice little comment. (I apologize for that pun.)
I’m in my 30s and have yet to be stung by a bee. Sounds like I’m living on borrowed time.
.-= Distracted Daddy´s last blog ..“It’s nursery rhyme time.” =-.
I also have never been stung, though my husband has been stung at least 10 times. I tell him he is a sweet as honey.
Also, you know that 45.6% of all statistics are meaningless.
Ellen