The sun came up this morning. I almost expected it to never rise again after Friday, but there it is every morning, blinding my already puffy eyes. Yesterday at the grocery store, the people around me seemed nonchalant, if not downright happy, and all I wanted to do was scream at them, “HOW CAN YOU ALL JUST GO ON LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! Can’t you see that I’m dying on the inside?!”
But I live in Tennessee, so I guess to most people around me, nothing significant has happened. They don’t know that I, and the millions of others in Cardinals Nation, have lost the love of our lives.
On Friday, we learned that Albert Pujols, arguably the greatest baseball player of my generation, was leaving us for the equivalent of a tall blonde with perky boobs and, oh right, $254 million. Goodbye St. Louis, hello sunny and warm LA. As much as I’m relieved that he didn’t leave us for the Chicago Cubs, maybe it would hurt less if he were leaving us for someone hideously ugly. Like Siberia. Yes I know there isn’t a baseball team in Siberia, THAT ISN’T THE POINT, OKAY?!
It just really hurts, you know? To think you know someone and to find out that they aren’t who you thought they were…this is going to take some time to get over. I thought that we would be together forever, building our life and creating memories and winning more World Series together. I thought that one day we’d build him a statue to stand near the one we built for Stan the Man Musial. And now for it all to just end? WE LOVED HIM and now we know that he just didn’t love us the same way. He’s just like the rest of them, chasing money.
Really, I should have seen the signs, but I couldn’t allow myself to ever imagine that our relationship would end. When discussion of our relationship was put on hold in the spring, that’s when I should have known. Now I’m learning that he didn’t treat us with as much respect as we wanted and deserved. Maybe he’s not as deserving as the pedestal where we as Cardinals Nation placed him, but my heart doesn’t understand this yet.
So for today, I want to wallow in my own misery of Albert Pujols leaving us. Please excuse me while I put on some PJs, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and listen to Pearl Jam’s Black on repeat.
“I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life,
I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky, but why
Why, why can’t it be, can’t it be mine”
Why? Only 254 million reasons why.