I wasn’t born with one of those personalities where I can just talk to anyone. I’m AWFUL at making small talk. This year at Blissdom, despite promising myself that I’d suddenly become one of those super outgoing people, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I should be introducing myself to new people, how I should be joining in conversations, and generally being someone other than myself.
Here’s just a brief glimpse of the evolution of my social behaviors at Blissdom ’12.
Wednesday night: Arrive at the Opryland Hotel and panic when I see people I know, sure they won’t know me. They do. Hug awkwardly, followed up with nervous conversation.
Decide to hide in my hotel room until my conference wingman arrives.
Realize I’m hungry. Check Twitter and see if anyone I know is tweeting that they are going out to dinner. Phew! See Rachel‘s tweet and spend ten minutes giving myself a pep talk to walk out of the hotel room.
Spend a lovely dinner with several bloggers and even make conversation fairly easily with several people I had never met before.
Feel puffed up like a peacock for actually talking! To other people!
Go to bed promising myself that I’m going to be a new, chatty, super friendly version of myself on Thursday.
Thursday: Say hello to old friends, hug, squee.
Go to a meet-up for new conference attendees. Feel armpits become increasingly sweaty. Force myself to say hello and be friendly to three strangers.
Feel paralyzed with social anxiety after that three stranger exertion and decide to go back to my room.
Go to a cocktail party where I feel like a dud at making conversation.
Search the party frantically for people I know, while feeling annoyed with myself for not branching out.
Go to bed promising myself that I’m going to be a new, chatty, super friendly version of myself on Friday.
Friday: See more old friends, hug, and squee.
Play the role of community leader during several photography sessions. Smile and make small talk with new people. Think to myself, “see? This isn’t so hard!”
Go to lunch and completely fail to introduce myself to most of the people at my table. Think to myself that NOW I’m going to introduce myself. No, NOW. Okay, for real-NOW. Get up and leave without introducing myself.
Kick myself on the way back to my room.
Go to the Hallmark bloggers get together and talk to Rachel and think to myself, “Why can’t I talk to people easily like Rachel does!?!”
Head out for the Girl’s Night Out festivities and drink a few alcoholic beverages.
Feel a bit (okay, A LOT) of liquid courage.
Become incredibly friendly, talk easily with strangers, and even introduce myself to blog crushes.
Go to bed promising myself that I’m going to be a new, chatty, super friendly version of myself on Saturday, minus the liquid courage.
Saturday: EXHAUSTION sets in. Unable to make conversation with anyone.
Awkwardly smile and stand around most of the day, completely unable to spend the energy it would take to put a sentence together.
Go to the Girl’s Night In events and watch as people dance and sing Karaoke and think to myself, “Damn, I’m missing out. LIKE I ALWAYS DO.”
Go to bed promising myself that I’m going to be a new, chatty, super friendly version of myself NEXT year at Blissdom.
So in conclusion, if we met anytime other than Friday night-oh, say-between 9:30 pm and 2 am, then, “Hi!! It’s really great to meet you! What’s your blog about? Where are you from? Those shoes? Are amazing! Did you hear Rascal Flatts is coming Friday night? Won’t that be fun?! Are you having a good time? Blissdom is really great, isn’t it?! Yeah, it’s been great getting to know you!”
At least you had the courage to GO to the thing. I don’t know if I ever will. You made baby steps this year. Next year you will do even better.
Well, this was my 5th Blissdom conference and probably my 8th or 9th blogging conference/gathering and for some reason this year was just harder for me! I mean, I always have issues with making conversation, maybe I was just intimidated by the size of the conference this time!
Can’t wait to see you walk across the kareoke stage in your swimsuit… right after I sing…
We introverts need to hang close and make awkward conversation with each other. Power to the socially inept! *fistbump*
*fistbump*
Thank goodness I always know I can come talk to you at Blissdom.
I’m working on picking out my swimsuit for next year!
Wow, this was so me when I went to BlogHer09. I would never have thought you felt the same!
Annettek´s last [type] ..Saturday
I’ve felt this way at almost every blogging conference/gathering and my anxiety really increases as the size of the gathering increases! I’ll probably never be able to go to another BlogHer-it’s SO HUGE-too huge.
That was me at BlogHer ’10. Except for the liquid courage, because I couldn’t even figure out what the hell I like to DRINK. I DID introduce myself to 3 bloggers that I have girl crushes on, though, so I came home feeling supremely proud of myself for THAT. But otherwise, what you just said – up there – totally me too. *HUGS*
Hell, I even felt like that on the train ride TO BlogHer ’10, surrounded by oh, I dont’ know – 100 other bloggers, ALL going to the same place? I sat at the BACK of the last car, FACING backward, and tweeted about my incredible social awkwardness… no, not awkwardness – total INABILITY. Blah.
See? I probably would have been fine on the train. It’s small (well, smaller than the conference would have been.) I do okay in those situations, but put me in a room of strangers where I should go up and introduce myself and make conversation? So hard for me!
This is why people like us live on the internet. I enjoyed seeing you but I wish *I’d* had more courage to be chattier with *you*! Next year for sure. We can be awkward and silent in the vicinity of one another. Maybe 1 introvert + 1 introvert = 2 extroverts???
Bridget´s last [type] ..Bringing Back the Bliss
I wish we could have chatted more, too! And I wish I could have practiced doing focus and recompose with you standing right there to show me!
I REALLY relate to this post! Social anxiety is one of the BIG reasons I haven’t attended a blog conference. So many beautiful and talented women in one place?! SO intimidating!
Melinda´s last [type] ..Monday Pep-Talk
If you ever do want to attend a blog conference, I would HIGHLY recommend Blissdom. They do a great job of getting people involved and offering opportunities to meet people. But, if you’re like me, it is still hard! I just keep going back, though, because I do love the part where I get to meet old friends and even get to meet new friends.
I think that you just described the social arc and internal conversation of about 90% of conference attendees. Including me
anymommy´s last [type] ..Retrospective
I just wish I was in the 10%, you know? (And thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not the only awkward one.)
It’s funny because I was really “introduced” to you last year when you led one of the sessions at Blissdom. I would have loved to have seen you again this year so that we could chat, now that I read your blog regularly. Watch out, because next time, I’m comin’ to find you!
(p.s. I was not there this time… boo…)
Elaine´s last [type] ..In the Silence / Miss Elaine-ous Monday
Yes! Come find me. I do just fine when people come up and talk to me! Just not when I have to go up and talk to people I don’t know!
I am the same exact way. It doesn’t matter what the setting; kids school, lunch out with new people, family who I don’t know. I am just not that person, though I always try and feel like I fail. You are going and trying so that counts.
Heather´s last [type] ..The Daring Bakers February Challenge: Quick Bread
Exactly! Even with family I don’t know-I SO relate. We have a family reunion this summer and I’m already feeling a bit of dread about the being friendly and making conversation part.
[...] While I was away at Blissdom, my very kind in-laws came to watch the kids while Tate was at work. I think that I’ve admitted to being a fairly lax housekeeper, right? Well, just in case I haven’t mentioned it: I’m a fairly lax housekeeper. [...]
I HEART YOU!!!
So glad you introduced yourself on Wed and I’m so super glad that we were able to hang out often and connect over beef jerky and whipped cream!!
Can’t wait to see you again!!
AmazingGreis´s last [type] ..It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m Still Single…
I’m so glad I introduced myself, too! If we lived closer we would TOTALLY be hang-out friends. Loved meeting you and wish I would have had time to send you a card from the Hallmark suite. And maybe have another beer.
Hey, I thought the two of us did pretty well during our conversation! You seemed like a conference pro and I only sweat through one layer while trying to act laid back and super-confident that you’d a)remember me and b) want to talk to me. I spent 90% of the conference tied to at least one of my wingmen from the Indy group, and spent the other 10% meeting some amazing people. Maybe by my 4th or 5th Blissdom I’ll hit the sweet spot at least 50% of the conference!
Angie @ Just Like The Number´s last [type] ..Almond Joy Macaroons
I have to psych myself up to be chatty. With my friends. At preschool drop off. Which is maybe 17 minutes of my socially awkward life. I so get this post.
I am so afraid this is going to be me at BlogHer in August. I’m about 95% sure it will be, no matter how many promises I make myself!
If it is me (and, like I said, it will be), and if I manage to get to Blissdom next year (fingers crossed!), hopefully I won’t be like this there. But I’m sure I will be.
I think many of us go through it, even the ones who look super-cool and seem so relaxed, they probably freak out too and thought they sounded less than confident…
Michelle´s last [type] ..E’s Mother Strikes Again.
Oh I do wish we had been able to actually visit. I had a night of liquid courage, too.
Steph
Adventures in Babywearing´s last [type] ..Four Unhappy Children
This is how I felt most of the time at Blissdom except I had a large official-looking camera to hide behind to make the conversation that I may have possibly but also possibly not worked up the courage to initiate.
I do remember meeting you in a photography session though. I said, “You look so familiar.” You assured me that we hadn’t met. And I awkwardly responded that, “yeah… [duh] half the people here look familiar because we’re all on the internets.” Actually I think I thought that (complete with forehead slap) but actually said something clunkier like, “Oh. Haha. Maybe from online?”
Liquid courage (which was Lorax Juice) just makes me look goofy, not courageous.
Next year…
nancypantsgirl´s last [type] ..Blissdom Beginnings…
Left out part of my first sentence. (I’m sleep deprived and recovering from a wedding shoot. Blah.) I’ve been known to leave off closing parentheses and write you’re instead of your when in this state. Very scary. (Is a keyboard considered heavy machinery? Because I’m thinking, yes.)
“…courage to initiate….” add something like “that much more difficult or awkward, etc.” I let other people finish my sentences for me. I’m nice like that. :^)
nancypantsgirl´s last [type] ..Blissdom Beginnings…
It always amazes me when my favorite bloggers admit to being shy.
I saw you walking around all weekend, but never approached bc I figured you wouldn’t have the time to talk to a little-bitty me.
There’s always next year, right?
Oh, I wish you would have come up and said hello! Really, at a blog conference, we’re all “little-bitty!” Well, unless you’re, like, Dooce or Pioneer Woman.