I am gonna write you a love song. Today.

We were heading home from a long day of running errands the other day when Carson asked, out of the blue, “Wouldn’t it be great if we lived closed to Nana and Paw Paw? And Nanny and Papa? And Aunt Kate? And Uncle James and Aunt Melissa and Baby Riley? And we could see them all the time?”

He has no idea that at least a few times per week, I think the exact same thing.

I’ve made it no secret to everyone except my children that moving around so much has been very difficult for me. Moving over and over has often made me feel like a wanderer with no place to call home. The whole routine of getting new driver’s licenses, learning my way around each new city, and finding a good hairdresser every few years has been an adventure, but not always an adventure I wanted to take.

The hardest part about moving isn’t the lack of good stylist, though, it’s living so far from our family. Having given birth and taken care of two newborns with only a few weeks worth of help was daunting. I desperately needed a support network when Carson and Ella were babies, family that I could depend on to give me a moment’s peace or to give Tate and I a much needed night away. But it’s not just the babysitting that I wish we’d had, now that the kids are getting older, I feel sad for the things that they regularly miss.

They only just this summer went to their first baseball game at Busch Stadium. They don’t get to go spend the night at Nana’s house on a random Wednesday in the middle of summer. They don’t get to grow up with their cousins. They may never say, “I’m from Missouri.”

Despite the distance and the things that our family misses, I actually really like where we live. I’ve stopped holding my breath, waiting for the call for the next move, and have started to let myself think of Knoxville as home. We’ve even found our village, our friends.

One of the only reasons that I’ve been able settle in here is because of the friends we’ve made. They have helped me not to dwell on the family that we don’t have close-by, because like us, so many of them are far from home, too. We’ve all come to depend on one another–because that’s what a family does.

Adrienne is who I called when I need someone to watch Ella when I was on my way to Nashville for my half-marathon. Robyn is the friend who listened while I cried about my terrible morning and needing a break from the kids. Heather is the person who helped me look at Carson in a whole new light when I feared darkness. Sarah and her husband have shared meals with us on Thanksgiving and Easter. Jen, Jo, Amanda, Kate, and Amy held me up when I couldn’t hold myself up.

Our friends ARE our family and just like family, I don’t tell them enough what they each mean to me. It’s busyness that makes me forget to actually say the words, even though I continually thank my lucky stars that these people are my chosen family. They need to hear it, or even better read it, that they mean so much to me, so I’ve spent the last week writing little notes to them on Hallmark greeting cards.

Funny messages and inside jokes, and even a few serious sentiments, all to say “I couldn’t do this life without you. Thank you for being my family, my village.”

(top photo credit: Flickr)

::

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. They provided me with greeting cards to send friends and gave me some of the words to say thank you.

Sign up here for Hallmark’s e-newsletter to get special offers and discounts!

 

 

21 Responses to I am gonna write you a love song. Today.
  1. Mom24@4evermom
    July 25, 2012 | 8:25 am

    Quite possibly my favorite post of yours. Good job. I’m glad you’ve found your village.
    Mom24@4evermom´s last [type] ..Caprese Grilled Cheese

    • Jennifer
      July 25, 2012 | 8:59 am

      Thank you! That is possibly my favorite comment of yours. :) But seriously, that means a lot to me, so thank you.

  2. Kim
    July 25, 2012 | 8:40 am

    I SO relate to this. We moved 18 months ago and my kids are now a 3 day drive away from their cousins. It is so hard that they are missing out on growing up with a plethora of family around.
    We are still building our village here, I know it takes time but it is so hard.
    This post really spoke to my heart this morning. Thank you.
    Kim´s last [type] ..Super Awesome Fort

    • Jennifer
      July 25, 2012 | 9:01 am

      It does take time. Lots of time. And even though this is longest we’ve lived anywhere (almost 4 years!), I wonder if I won’t always wonder what it would be like to live “back home.”

  3. Liz
    July 25, 2012 | 9:14 am

    Oh here I go again, tearing-up and feeling very thankful for those random Wednesday night sleepovers. Thank you for that.
    Liz´s last [type] ..So, My Kid Passes Out While Visiting Grandpa at the Hospital & Other Stories of You NEVER Know, You Know?

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:03 pm

      I’m always telling people that they need to appreciate having family close by! Hoping someday I’ll need to be reminded of that!

  4. Colleen
    July 25, 2012 | 11:13 am

    Lovely. :) You’re a lucky woman!
    Colleen´s last [type] ..wingman

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:04 pm

      I AM lucky! :)

  5. anymommy
    July 25, 2012 | 11:22 am

    Oh yes. I know this. I’ve found my village too and now I just live in fear of one of THEM moving.

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:04 pm

      GASP! I KNOW!

      (And congratulations again!)

  6. Rachael
    July 25, 2012 | 1:58 pm

    I, too, struggle with sadness about being far from family. We’re a military family. I know what it’s like to have little or no help with a new baby, as I’ve been through it 3 times! I feel like I’ve gotten so comfortable with where we live, and met so many nice people, and next summer we’ll probably move. Finding a new “village” takes a lot of time and effort, especially for an introvert like me. Thank you for this post, it meant a lot.

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:05 pm

      I know that we’ll move again…just don’t know when. I’m already dreading having to rebuild my village.

  7. NGS
    July 25, 2012 | 3:16 pm

    We just moved again for the second time in two years and I really want some friends. I can see staying home and watching television every night getting old real quick. I’m jealous of your little village!
    NGS´s last [type] ..L is for Light

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:05 pm

      It gets very old having no plans. Hope you make some new friends soon!

  8. Sarah
    July 25, 2012 | 8:52 pm

    You are so easy for me to relate to with the sadness about being away from home, but seeking contentment with where you are. Just because our children’s life is different from the one we experienced doesn’t make it any less of a childhood. Knoxville looks good on you and it sounds like you have one heck of a support system!
    Sarah´s last [type] ..Puzzling

    • Jennifer
      July 26, 2012 | 6:07 pm

      That’s exactly right, just because their childhood will be different, doesn’t make it a bad one. In fact, I think my kids have a pretty great childhood here in TN. We have mountains! And lakes! And college football! And sweet tea!

  9. Rachel - A Southern Fairytale
    July 26, 2012 | 12:00 pm

    {sniff} {sniff}

    AWWWWWWWWWWWW
    Rachel – A Southern Fairytale´s last [type] ..One Code = One Meal

  10. Kristen
    July 26, 2012 | 5:13 pm

    We are the only ones who live far away from our family, so I totally know how you feel. Our neighbors and friends are our family… and I’m thankful for our village in that way!
    Kristen´s last [type] ..It Takes a Village… Not to Mention Wine and Coffee

  11. Adventures in Babywearing
    July 29, 2012 | 7:47 am

    Thank you so much for posting this. I’m having a hard time leaving family with our move, and to be honest, I JUST found the best hair stylist ever a couple months ago. Now I have to start again? I also will not know anyone, and it just seems like a lot, a big deal, and I just want to lie down and sleep.

    Steph
    Adventures in Babywearing´s last [type] ..So we did.

    • Jennifer
      July 30, 2012 | 8:29 am

      Moving is so overwhelming. It all takes time to meet new people and find a good stylist. But it’s also fun. It’s fun to discover the city, it’s restaurants, libraries, festivals…

      You are going to have a great move, I just know it. Also, check out http://justmoved.org. I don’t know if there’s a chapter in Canton, but if there is, it’s a support group of women that meet regularly to talk about moving. It’s sort of a Bible study. It helped me a lot when I moved to Knoxville.

  12. Lauren R.
    August 1, 2012 | 9:51 am

    Oh, this post really hit home! The best thing about Knoxville is all the wonderful friends we have made. I feel so lucky to have found such great friends! But I am also sad that I can’t just pop over to my mom or dad’s anytime or that they can’t come to watch a soccer game or come to an event at the kids’s school. I hadn’t really anticipated that it would get HARDER to be away from family as they get older…thought it would get easier. Thanks for the great post.