playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren

By December, I have to have completed 30 hours of continuing education to maintain my national certification as a Speech-Language Pathologist.  I’ve had several years to complete this, but since I’ve not worked since before Carson was born and conferences are quite expensive, I have NO hours completed.

Every few weeks when I get my national orgazination’s newspaper, I suddenly remember those incomplete hours, panic, then get distracted by the dishwasher or screaming children and promptly forget all about it until a few weeks later when I get the mail, and there sits my national organization’s newspaper.

Before the kids were born, I always said I’d go back to work once the kids were in school.  I’d work in a school and be gone the same hours they would be gone, it would be easy!  There are two more years before Carson and Ella will be in school five days a week and I’m not really sure I even want to work as an SLP again.  I’m not really sure I want to work at a traditional job, away from home, having to take sick days and do laundry in the evenings.

I can’t decide if I should get those continuing education hours completed just in case.  What if I make the wrong decision and regret not maintaining my certification?   I would feel guilty for the potential waste of my hard-earned and expensive (thanks Mom and Dad!) Master’s Degree.

Last February I attended Blissdom in Nashville and left there completely inspired to start my own business.  I told everyone who would listen that I was starting a business.  As soon as I got home, I bought the domain name for my business, set up a twitter account, made lists, and spoke with a few contacts.   I started doing some research regarding business set-up, legal issues, and business accounting procedures.  Reality set in that my really great idea would take work, it would take money, and I became overwhelmed and scared.

I have done nothing to see my business come to fruition since those few weeks after Blissdom.  Voices of self-doubt have filled my head.  “You could never really do this, you know.  You have no business sense.  You’ll fail.”

I don’t know what it is that I want to do, other than I know that I want to do something with my future.  Even when my kids are in school, I’ll always be a mother and have those responsibilities to fulfill, but I know that I want to do more.   It’s just that knowing all the work that will go into getting those 30 hours to maintain my certification or starting my business has left me paralyzed and unable to even get started.

Blog Nosh Magazine is currently hosting a carnival, Celebrate the Heart and Art of Motherhood.  The carnival was inspired by the founder of Pepperidge Farm, Margaret Rudkin, who faced her son’s food allergies and started a business as a result.  I’ve read every post submitted and I’ve been inspired all over again that I really could start a business or maybe even think out of the box in terms of continuing as an SLP.   Maybe I could even overcome my fears enough and do something with my love of photography.  There are so many things that I could do, because like all the carnival writers, I’m creative and industrious, determined and bright.

I need your help and inspiration.  I hope you’ll consider writing your own post for Blog Nosh Magazine’s carnival and tell me what lit your fire and inspired you.  So many of you out there reading, I know that you’ve somehow managed to weave motherhood and work together, some of you have started businesses, donated your time.   I know you have done wonderful things.  Come on people, light my fire.  (Please excuse the cheesy Doors reference, I couldn’t resist.)

I’m visiting the Mouthy Housewives today and doling out advice!

Please go visit me over there now! Please??

I apologize for not keeping up with the blog tips posts.  All the stars have to align *just so* in order for me to be able to write them.  I have to be in the mood to sit down and write about blogging and I’m not usually in the mood.  These posts take far longer to compile and write than my typical posts, which usually take no more than 20 minutes to throw together.   I also realize that there are a few of you out there that actually think that I know what I’m talking about, so I feel like it’s important to make sure that whatever I say is accurate and makes sense.

Here’s the thing, I actually do know what I’m talking about when it comes to these blog tips.  I know!  I’m so conceited!  (Actually, no I’m not.)  It’s just that having blogged for over THREE WHOLE YEARS practically makes me a shawl-wearing, bespectacled, rocking chair sitting wise blog-grandmother.  There are definitely bloggers out there who’ve been at this whole online writing thing for far longer than me, but there are FAR MORE bloggers who haven’t made it beyond the first year (or even just a few months.)

I’ve considered quitting so many times for a good reasons and for immature, huffy, jealous reasons.   The writing, the commenting, the social media interaction all take up a lot of time and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, I’ve come *this close* to quitting because I felt overwhelmed and guilty when I couldn’t keep up with it all.   After three years, I do occasionally think that the most recent post I’ve written will probably be the last because there is no possible way to come up with another unique topic, yet somehow I always come up with something to say.

And then there’s the whole jealousy issue.   I know that I’m often jealous of others writing talents.  There have been times that I’ve felt bitter about the same people getting invited to all the fun things or other’s subscriber and comment numbers.  I know there are a handful of people who claim to be immune to the jealously, but I also know that I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

I have a super secret, super special way that I’ve been able to overcome all of this and still continue to blog.

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

The end.

Okay, fine, I’ll elaborate.  (Consider yourself warned! You may need to grab a snack.  I’ll wait.)

1.  Blogging and all related activities DO take time.   The key is finding the time to do what will most benefit you and your blog.

Unless your blog IS your job, and even then, YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE COMPUTER SHOULD COME FIRST.  Don’t worry about it if you haven’t replied to every comment or visited every unread blog in your Google Reader.  There’s no need to fret if you haven’t written anything on your blog in several days, your loyal readers will still be there when you get back.

If your online, blog related time is limited, then be sure that you’re spending your time wisely.   Commenting on other’s blogs is time consuming but it is the one of THE BEST WAYS to gain readers for your own site.   Leave comments on “popular” blogs AND blogs you’ve never heard of, this is an activity very worthy of your time.  (Hint:  The popular bloggers probably aren’t trying to be jerks when they don’t reciprocate comments, they are busy JUST LIKE YOU!)

If you see no traffic from posting your links on Twitter, then don’t spend ALL of your time tweeting.  I know that I have spoken at length about StumbleUpon and what a great source of traffic it can be, however if it’s not working for you?  Then it’s a waste of your time!  Don’t bother!

Here is some more detailed information about managing your time in the blogosphere. (I’ll be updating that post soon-ish!)

2.  You will be stricken with all sorts of writing ailments including (but not limited to) writer’s block, fear of being too open and honest, super self-consciousness due to overexposure, and jealously of other’s superior writing talents

In any given week, I’ll suffer from one or ALL of these things.  EVERY BLOGGER feels this way at some point.

Whenever I feel like I’m suffering from writer’s block, I sit down at my computer and just start writing.  I write whatever is on my mind.  Occasionally I can mold a post from the words, sometimes there’s nothing to salvage, but at least I was writing.  The cure for writer’s block, for me, is NOT not writing.  Another trick that I use is to look at photos I’ve recently taken and write a post based on one of the shots.  There are also lots of sites that offer weekly memes or writing prompts that can help you get over the hump.

As your readership grows (and it WILL grow), your concerns about what and who you blog about will become a concern.   The more people that read you, the more you may become self-conscious about what you should and shouldn’t reveal.   BUT WHAT ABOUT AUTHENTICITY!?!  It seems to be a buzz word these days around blogging.  My personal ever developing philosophy about this is that I never write something that would intentionally hurt another person.  I don’t share EVERY detail of my life, but I also don’t only write smooshy, feel good posts.  I also include my mistakes and heartaches.

While at Blissdom, I attended a writer’s workshop led by Megan from Velveteen Mind, Arianne from To Think is to Create, Deb from Deb on the Rocks, and Amber from The Run A Muck.  In the session, Megan mentioned that she was listening to the audiobook, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within (Disclosure:  Affiliate link).  The point that Megan explained that most struck me was that if there’s a writer whose work makes you crazy envious, instead of being jealous, begin to look at that writer as a teacher from whom you can learn.  Another thing that this workshop spurred within me was that in order for me to be a better writer, I have to start thinking of myself as a REAL writer, not just some pretend wanna-be that has no talent.

I realize that my style of writing isn’t everybody’s cup of tea.  My writing isn’t eloquent prose, expertly crafted with $20 words and perfect grammar.  I think that my strength is my ability to craft a story in such a way that others can relate.  It’s taken YEARS for me to recognize this strength and for me to OWN this strength.  Each one of has a writing strength.  Find it!  Not to be cliche, but find your voice and hone it.  Your writing may not be for everyone, but don’t try to write in a way that isn’t truly you.

3.  We ALL get jealous of other bloggers.

I love this tweet from @MindiCherry (Moms Need to Know)

It seems like every week there’s another top blogger list published, the same eleven bloggers have been invited on yet another fabulous trip, and you hear that another blogger has a book deal.   Maybe you wrote your heart out on your latest post and only received a few comments, you lost 100 subscribers overnight, or you don’t have as many followers as you’d like to have on Twitter.  It is HARD not to let these things get you down.  But hear this!

YOU CANNOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS GET YOU DOWN!

DON’T LET YOUR STATS DEFINE YOU! (comment numbers, page views, @replies, subscriber numbers)

Sorry to shout like that, but I really need you to hear those things.  In fact, I’m going to shout them again.

YOU CANNOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS GET YOU DOWN!

Most of the bloggers that seem to have what you want, whether it’s their comment numbers, perceived stats, or free trips didn’t start blogging a week ago.  They’ve been working hard for what they’ve received.   They are engaging writers, great at building their community, excellent at networking and have developed relationships with the “right” people.  Guess what?  YOU can also do those things!   It just takes time, patience, skill, and networking.

I was recently named as on of Babble’s Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  To me it was a HUGE honor, I’d never been named to a list like this one before.  But what does it really mean for me?  I’m not thinner, my boobs aren’t perkier, I’m not suddenly recognized in the grocery store by adoring fans, and I haven’t been offered a job as an Editor for a major publishing company.  I didn’t even get a trophy!  What I do get, is at least 100 more product review requests in my inbox per week now, not exactly something that makes me jump with joy.

DON’T LET YOUR STATS DEFINE YOU! (comment numbers, page views, @replies, subscriber numbers)

I’ve said before that the size of your blogging community is only as important as YOU make it.  If you have 10 loyal readers, that is AWESOME!  If you have 1,000 loyal readers, that’s AWESOME, too…not awesome-er.    The thing about stats is that there may never a number that truly satisfies you.  I’m not saying that you won’t one day have 500 or 2000 or 10,000 subscribers (or whatever your goal may be), but I am saying that even when you get to that magical number, it won’t feel as great as you thought it would.   The quest for MORE, in terms of blogging, is insatiable.

Instead of focusing on THE NUMBER, focus on your community.   Come to truly appreciate those who DO read your blog and interact with you on Twitter.  Remember your original reasons for blogging and what makes blogging fun.  I know that logging into StatCounter is NOT usually fun, but emailing back and forth with a reader can totally make your day.

Here’s a post by Megan from Velveteen Mind that speaks to not allowing your stats to define you, go read it!  I also suggest reading this post from PhD in Parenting that discusses reasons to check your stats, none of which say anything about your stats defining who YOU are.

4.   Unless you are a robot, your feelings will probably get hurt at some point.

I am honored and humbled that so many of you comment and subscribe to my blog.  Unfortunately since there are more than 25 of you, I’m just not able to read every one of your blogs.  I used to have time for reciprocating every comment, I also used to have only one child who napped twice a day and gave me four whole hours of complete, unadulterated commenting time.   These days, I’m lucky to get four hours A WEEK to devote to blogging.  It gives me the nervous tummy to think that I may have hurt someone’s feelings because they’ve been a loyal commenter and I’ve barely acknowledged their existence.

People seem to get hung up is on the perception that “popular” bloggers don’t make any time for other, smaller bloggers, that they appear to only interact with the other elite.  Perhaps this is true for some, not every blogger out there is interested in expanding their already ginormous community.   I’m not immune to the feelings of rejection by other bloggers, but I’ve stopped interacting (and even reading) many of the people that I know have little to no interest in getting to know me.  However, I suspect that most “popular” bloggers are interested in interacting with their readers, but are limited by time.

My feelings have been hurt too many times to count since I started blogging.  My most favorite blogger of all time (formerly) absolutely crushed me when, the day after I first began this Blog Tip Sharing series, she wrote about how ridiculous it was to tell other people how to blog and she just couldn’t understand why anyone cared about making their blog better.  I’ve had my feelings hurt over emails I’ve sent that have gone unanswered.  It hurts my feelings when I’ve replied a ridiculous amount of times to someone on Twitter and they’ve NEVER responded.  Sometimes when I see that someone isn’t following me back on Twitter that I think should be following me, I’ll do the quick unfollow-refollow because SURELY the fact that they aren’t following me is a mistake!

Trolls can also show up uninvited to your blog and wreak havoc.  I’ve had my fair share of trolls, they are particularly fond of my posts about Alabama.   I could shoot off indignant replies or post their IP addresses on my blog, but I’m a firm believer that if you ignore them, you take away their fuel.  There is only so much room in my brain, I simply do not have the space available to allow people full of negativity take up that space.

*********

I hope that this post has served as some sort of blog induced frustration therapy.  However you’re feeling, both the positive AND the negative feelings, have been felt by all of us.  It’s not easy to pour your heart out online or write sometime brilliantly funny and feel like you’re not getting noticed.  We’re bloggers!  We’re narcissistic!  If we didn’t care at all about getting some sort of accolades, we’d all be writing in a private forum.

Make the decision in your mind that you’re okay with how much time you devote to blogging, your writing abilities, and make peace with your stats and popularity status.

(I’d been working on this post for two weeks when I noticed that Loralee’s post about blogging and jealousy had been syndicated at BlogHer. I decided to go ahead and post this, even though the subject matter is so similar, I think there’s room for two parallel viewpoints.)

Previously in this series: Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School, Blog Design, Sidebars and Pages, Building your Community, Developing your Brand

I’m feeling very sentimental about blogging after all of your thoughtful and kind comments yesterday.

I started writing online back in 2006. That was the same year that I joined and started participating online for the first time via a message board. If you would have said to me in 2005, that I’d be regularly interacting with people online, via a message board or WORSE! a blog, I’d would have thought you were just trying to annoy me.

All that I knew about blogs at the time was that it was a place where geeks wrote about geeky things. Most blog writers were middle-aged balding dudes, living in their parent’s basements, wearing wife-beater tees. They stayed up all night chatting online about Dungeons and Dragons while eating cheetos and drinking cheap beer.

I’m still certain that type of blogger exists (ha! kidding!), I found that my image of bloggers was way off. In fact, I’ve discovered a group of people that I really identified with and now I can’t imagine NOT interacting with people online. I depend on your support, perspective, and humor.

So back to aught six, I met a local blogger through my message board . Through her blog, I then found a whole world of people interacting online, talking about motherhood and marriage, weight gain and women’s friendships. The very first blogs I read were several of the now defunct Club Mom blogs. Those first blogs that I read were the ones that changed my outlook of blogging and quite literally changed the course of my life. Those blogs were, (since I can’t link to their Club Mom blogs, I’ll link to their personal blogs…) Motherhood Uncensored, All & Sundry, Cheeky Lotus, and So the Fish Said.

Today is Delurking Day, a day where you I encourage you to “delurk” or say “hi,” especially if you don’t normally comment. Yes, it’s a blatant ploy to get comments. I’m okay with that. I know it’s awkward to comment when you really have nothing to say, so I’m asking you to delurk (or just comment as you regularly do!) and tell me, who were your first blog reads?

Delurking Day, hosted by Greeblemonkey and Rude Cactus

Long time no see! At least in the “blog school” sense. Hope you enjoyed your holiday vacation and are ready to be back at school.

Today we’ll be focusing on your brand. How your blog looks and how you market your blog is your brand. Think about brands you see everyday. You can see the “golden arches” and immediately recognize McDonald’s or the red target and know it’s Target. When it comes to personal blogs, it may not be as simple as a logo to identify your blog. There are ways to maintain consistency between the sites where you interact and promote yourself, making yourself recognizable.

Consider the following areas when developing and marketing your brand.

1. The name of your blog

Most likely if you’re reading this, your blog already has a name. If not, then try to come up with something unique and memorable.

Just in case you haven’t named your blog, there are several things to consider when deciding upon a name.

Google the name to be sure nobody else has the same or a too similar blog name.

There are already 45, 334, 291 blogs that have the word “Mommy” in them. That’s not a bad thing! But, do you want your blog to be confused with somebody elses? Unfortunately many blogs have similar names. Diva, domestic, ANY alcoholic beverage, children, life, baby, diaper, housewife, diary, suburban, slacker, and queen are all words that have been used, and used again by many bloggers (including myself). This certainly poses a problem if you have your heart set on the blog name, “The Life of a Suburban Diapering Domestic Queen Mommy Who Drinks Martinis.”

Mommy/parenting/personal bloggers DO NOT have to have anything even remotely child-related in their blog title. Look at Sweetney, Amalah, Finslippy, and Metalia! The disadvantage of names such as those is that without knowing them, you may not know what their blog is about. Considering the popularity of these blogs, I *think* their writing abilities helped them overcome the “disadvantage.”

Try to think in terms of “will I like this blog name in two years? five years?…”

When I began this blog, I had a baby and was pregnant (not surprisingly, with another baby). The name “Playgroups are no place for children” was very fitting, as I was an active playgroup participant. The name reflected my those current interests. It’s now three years later and I haven’t been in a playgroup in several years. My children are growing up and eventually I foresee not talking about them as often. My blog name will be really ridiculous when my kids are in middle school.

Since most of you already have your blog name set, you may want to claim your name on all the free blogging platforms like Blogger and Wordpress.com. I’d recommend setting up a blog with your blog name with those sites so that no one else can. I have blogs set up at playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.blogspot.com, playgroups…forchildren.wordpress.com, AND I own this url. In Blogger and Wordpress, there is a way to make it so that it’s not found easily by search engines so that people are not accidentally redirected to those dummy sites.

2. The name you use to identify yourself in the blogosphere

I use the name “Playgroupie” because 1) it’s easily derived from my blog name and 2) it’s unique. With a very common name like Jennifer, I use “playgroupie” as my email address, twitter name, etc…

Also whenever I leave comments, I say “Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children” to distinguish me from the 2,000,000 other mommybloggers named Jennifer. I recommend that if your name is Jennifer, Heather, Deb, Amanda, or something equally as common, you choose a nickname derived from your blog name and/or use your name followed by your blog name.

For example: Deb, Mom of 3 Girls, or Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake, or Burgh Baby

You should also consider how relevant the name you choose will be in the future. The name “Playgroupie” is seriously like NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD to me. I really despise it with every fiber of my being. However, it was a good choice in the beginning and it would take way too much effort in this stage of the game to change it. With that said, the name you choose doesn’t HAVE to be a nickname. It can be your real name or a pen name. More and more bloggers are starting to use their first and last names (even me!)

Whatever name you choose, be sure to use the same one across sites you frequent. It makes you easier to find and identify if you have the same name on your email address, Twitter, StumbleUpon, etc.

Speaking of Twitter, the name you use there should be as short as humanly possible. With only 140 characters to send messages, long Twitter names get in the way. This consideration isn’t meant to contradict the above advice, but it’s something to consider.

3. A visual association to your blog

This is tricky. As I already mentioned, a logo is typically not something you see associated with a personal blog. If you are a niche blogger and plan to somehow turn your blog into a money making venture (good luck with THAT!), then you probably want to hire someone to design a logo to represent your brand.

There is more than one way to visually represent your blog. For example, you can have buttons, avatars, favicons, and iPhone/iTouch icons made to be miniature representations of your blog header. In the past, my visual branding was a picture of my son wearing a bucket on his head. That picture is still my favicon, but ONLY because I can’t for the life of me get it to change.

Visual representations of your blog don’t necessarily need to be static or based on your blog’s header. As long as the same picture is used across the different sites you frequent, I think it’s perfectly fine to change it occasionally. The trend in avatars seems to be moving away from cartoon representations to personal photos. I know that on Twitter, I prefer to see a picture of the person I’m replying to!

4. The way you interact and present yourself in the blogosphere

Bloggers are often known by how they interact, particularly in their writing and on Twitter. Some are known for being helpful, or controversial, information providing, humorous, or political. There are bloggers known as babywearers, as green, fashionistas, or fitness buffs.

Think about what you want to be “known” for in our community and interact with others in a way that reflects that. Since I’m not an expert at any one thing, my aim is truly to just be known as being an all around nice gal. I try to reply to lots of different people on Twitter, keep an open mind and watch my tendency to be judgmental in my posts, be willing to lend a hand to fellow bloggers, and promote others.

********

I feel certain I’ve left out some important information. Please ask any questions you may have in the comments section or add any additional thoughts on branding.

Welcome back to class everyone!  I hope all of enjoyed your Thanksgiving weekend, or if you’re not American, I hope you enjoyed your regular ol’ weekend.

Today’s class is going to focus on building a community around your blog.  What I mean by community is this:  The people who visit and comment, the meaningful interactions with other bloggers, and positive word-of-mouth about your blog.   Building a community around your blog is vital to attracting and maintaining readers.   You want to create an atmosphere on your blog where people feel welcome and want to come back.

To build a community around YOUR blog, though, means regularly venturing out and participating in OTHER blog communities.

In the past year, I’ve neglected commenting on blogs and replying to comments left on this site.  I KNOW that my lack of reciprocity and communication with others has negatively affected building this community.  So, everything I’m recommending?  I need to take these suggestions and actually start putting them to use again.

1.  Comment on others’ blogs

I think that this is THE NUMBER ONE THING you can do to attract and maintain readers to your site.  Commenting on other blogs is especially important when you’re first starting out with your blog.  In fact, behind well-written content, I think it’s THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do to generate traffic.   Find other blogs in your niche and let the comment love flow.

People LOVE receiving comments and your comment let’s people know that you visited.  Consider your comment your calling card.  Not only does the blog author see your calling card, but so do other visitors to the site.  If you’ve left a particularly witty or well-written comment, you’re likely to get people’s interest piqued enough to click through to your site.  Beware of leaving very obviously “traffic-seeking” comments, like “Oh that was funny.  Be sure to check out my blog at Practically Comment Spam!”

With that said, there does come a point when commenting and reciprocating comments can take over your life.  Literally.  There does have to be a balance between commenting, social media participation, and writing on your blog.  In an upcoming post, we’ll discuss time management.

2.  Promote others’ posts via StumbleUpon or Twitter

If you don’t have time to leave a comment, but think that what you’ve read is worth sharing, then promoting a post via StumbleUpon or Twitter is almost as good as leaving a comment.  Some people who really value their traffic numbers may even think it’s better than your comment.     The one downside to this, the person whose post you’ve promoted may not ever know that it was you who sent them an increase in traffic.  However, I definitely believe in blogging karma, what you put into the community will be repaid in full, which leads to my next point…

3.  Devote time to social media interaction.  Be accessible to your readers!

Whether you spend time on Twitter or Facebook, Flickr, or a message board, choose a place you enjoy, make friends, and participate.  It will pay off.

These are great places to interact with people in your blogging community.  I know that there’s many schools of thought on following/following back people on Twitter or friending people on Facebook and Flickr.  My personal opinion is that if you’re trying to seem accessible and truly participate in the community, you should follow (most) people back on Twitter and accept friend requests on Facebook/Flickr.

In regards to Twitter, with so many applications that allow you to set up lists so as to keep track of those you are closest to, then not following possibly relevant people back is kind of rude and can be interpreted as elitist.   This means that you should follow back people in your blogging genre (mommyblogging, food blogging, craft blogging…).  That doesn’t mean that you have to follow every Tom, Dick, and Harry that claims to be a social media expert or random guys with no profiles set up.  You can also always unfollow people that you realize you have nothing in common with.

4.  Join weekly meme’s/carnivals

(There is some debate as to what these weekly participation things are called…from here on out for ease of reading, we’re going to call them carnivals, okay?)

There are so many different carnivals you can join to promote content on your site each week.  Participation in these carnivals can be a great way to generate traffic, especially when you’re first starting out.  Being a regular contributor to a particular carnival is also a way to developing relationships with the other participants.  If you do choose to participate, it is a good thing to also visit the other sites participating.

As great as participation in weekly carnivals can be, it can easily be overdone.  Carnival postings should be interspersed with original content.

Here are just a few carnivals in which you can participate:

Not Me Monday at My Charming Kids
Mouthwatering Monday at A Southern Fairytale
Wordless Wednesday
Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family
Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries
Top Ten Thursday at My Messy Paradise
Girl Talk Thursday
Thursday Thirteen
Fight the Frump Friday at Blissfully Domestic
Photo Story Friday at My Chaos My Bliss
Weekly Winners at Sarcastic Mom
You Capture at I Should Be Folding Laundry

If you know of any others to include, please let me know and I will add them!

5.  Reply to emails

If someone has emailed you, REPLY.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve emailed another blogger only to get *crickets chirping*  NO REPLY.  This has also happened too many times to count, when someone has emailed me for advice or assistance, but never bothered to thank me for my reply.  *shakes head in disgust*

Listen people.  It’s rude not to reply to emails.  If you don’t have time, then reply back and say, “Hey, I’m so swamped right now, I’m sorry I can’t reply right away, but when I get a chance, I will!”

(If you think I’m talking about you, well….)  Speaking of replying…

6.  Reply to comments left on your blog

Replying to comments lets your readers know that 1) you actually read your comments and 2) appreciate each comment left.  Before learning about the greatest comment plugin ever that emails my reply to the commenter, I would just reply via email.   Most of us don’t have time and it also isn’t necessary to respond to every single comment on your site.  Some comments don’t require replies, but those comments that ask a question or that just make your day, SHOULD GET A REPLY.

The ability to respond to comments is also a point of contention between different blogging platforms.  In fact the whole replying to comments issue is one reason I switched from Blogger to WordPress.  I think that Blogger’s key flaw is that you don’t have to include your email address when you comment.   Tsk, tsk.

6.  Show your readers you care about them by linking to them

The greatest way in the world of blogs to let someone know that you admire their work, besides commenting! and promoting their posts in social media forums, is to link to their site.  If a post of someone’s inspired you to write your own, LINK TO THEM!

7.  Link to your own posts to help explain the backstory to new readers

Have you ever walked up to a group of people who are all laughing about some situation and people that you’re clueless about?   You stand their feeling awkward and left out…  This happens on blogs all the time.  I regularly read new-to-me blogs and don’t understand what they’re referring to, then in the comments section I realize I’m the only one who doesn’t know the back story.

Remember that many people just randomly happen upon your blog and do not know your life story.  If you want to make your new readers feel welcome and you’re talking about something that has a backstory or could be clarified by something you’ve already posted about, then LINK TO THOSE POSTS!  Don’t let new readers feel like the new kid who doesn’t get the joke.

So basically what I’m trying to say…Building relationships in blogging is exactly like building relationships in real life.  Be nice to others, return favors, and make others feel welcome.  The goal should be to develop meaningful relationships with those to whom you relate.

I also think it’s important to mention that the size of your blogging community is only as important as YOU make it.  If you have 10 loyal readers, that is AWESOME!  If you have 1,000 loyal readers, that’s AWESOME, too…not awesome-er.  When a blogging community becomes very large, it’s hard to maintain those readers through reciprocity in comments, replying to comments, or linking to new sites.

What do you think fosters a welcoming blog community?  Who are the bloggers you feel like do a particularly good job building a community around their blog?

Previously in this series…Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School, Blog Design, Sidebars and Pages

Let’s all take a moment and give thanks to our host, Neil, for reminding us to remember our first commenters as we prepare for the most thankful of all holidays, Thanksgiving.

Though I still find it incredibly thrilling to see that I have a new comment, nothing really compares to the very first comments you receive. In the early days it was so amazing that someone actually read something that you wrote (and it wasn’t your mom or your English professor.)

I’d first like to give thanks to Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake, before she was actually the Queen of Shake-Shake. She was just a friend of mine I met in a playgroup. She was the very first person to comment on my blog. It was a comment she left on this beautifully written masterpiece, Finagling.

However, no offense to Heather, but since she’s a friend of mine, I feel like I actually should give some credit to my very comment from a stranger. Let’s all bow our heads and give thanks to Mommiebear2, from Who Cries Over Spilled Milk who also left a comment on the same post.

The comment she left:

“Like said above, a double stroller is awesome! My daughter was about 1 1/2 when my son was born (premature at that – 25 weeks) but somehow I managed, and you will too. ”

True words, Mommiebear2, true words. Thanks for the smiley face, too.

I remember sitting at my desk in our office, staring in amazement at my computer screen. I couldn’t fathom how she’d found my blog, but immediately felt like we’d be close friends forever. Unfortunately, we lost touch several years ago. I’m glad Neil had this idea, giving me the nudge to look her up.

So Mommiebear2 (and Heather), thanks for my very first comments!