playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren

I apologize for not keeping up with the blog tips posts.  All the stars have to align *just so* in order for me to be able to write them.  I have to be in the mood to sit down and write about blogging and I’m not usually in the mood.  These posts take far longer to compile and write than my typical posts, which usually take no more than 20 minutes to throw together.   I also realize that there are a few of you out there that actually think that I know what I’m talking about, so I feel like it’s important to make sure that whatever I say is accurate and makes sense.

Here’s the thing, I actually do know what I’m talking about when it comes to these blog tips.  I know!  I’m so conceited!  (Actually, no I’m not.)  It’s just that having blogged for over THREE WHOLE YEARS practically makes me a shawl-wearing, bespectacled, rocking chair sitting wise blog-grandmother.  There are definitely bloggers out there who’ve been at this whole online writing thing for far longer than me, but there are FAR MORE bloggers who haven’t made it beyond the first year (or even just a few months.)

I’ve considered quitting so many times for a good reasons and for immature, huffy, jealous reasons.   The writing, the commenting, the social media interaction all take up a lot of time and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, I’ve come *this close* to quitting because I felt overwhelmed and guilty when I couldn’t keep up with it all.   After three years, I do occasionally think that the most recent post I’ve written will probably be the last because there is no possible way to come up with another unique topic, yet somehow I always come up with something to say.

And then there’s the whole jealousy issue.   I know that I’m often jealous of others writing talents.  There have been times that I’ve felt bitter about the same people getting invited to all the fun things or other’s subscriber and comment numbers.  I know there are a handful of people who claim to be immune to the jealously, but I also know that I’m not the only one who has felt this way.

I have a super secret, super special way that I’ve been able to overcome all of this and still continue to blog.

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

The end.

Okay, fine, I’ll elaborate.  (Consider yourself warned! You may need to grab a snack.  I’ll wait.)

1.  Blogging and all related activities DO take time.   The key is finding the time to do what will most benefit you and your blog.

Unless your blog IS your job, and even then, YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE COMPUTER SHOULD COME FIRST.  Don’t worry about it if you haven’t replied to every comment or visited every unread blog in your Google Reader.  There’s no need to fret if you haven’t written anything on your blog in several days, your loyal readers will still be there when you get back.

If your online, blog related time is limited, then be sure that you’re spending your time wisely.   Commenting on other’s blogs is time consuming but it is the one of THE BEST WAYS to gain readers for your own site.   Leave comments on “popular” blogs AND blogs you’ve never heard of, this is an activity very worthy of your time.  (Hint:  The popular bloggers probably aren’t trying to be jerks when they don’t reciprocate comments, they are busy JUST LIKE YOU!)

If you see no traffic from posting your links on Twitter, then don’t spend ALL of your time tweeting.  I know that I have spoken at length about StumbleUpon and what a great source of traffic it can be, however if it’s not working for you?  Then it’s a waste of your time!  Don’t bother!

Here is some more detailed information about managing your time in the blogosphere. (I’ll be updating that post soon-ish!)

2.  You will be stricken with all sorts of writing ailments including (but not limited to) writer’s block, fear of being too open and honest, super self-consciousness due to overexposure, and jealously of other’s superior writing talents

In any given week, I’ll suffer from one or ALL of these things.  EVERY BLOGGER feels this way at some point.

Whenever I feel like I’m suffering from writer’s block, I sit down at my computer and just start writing.  I write whatever is on my mind.  Occasionally I can mold a post from the words, sometimes there’s nothing to salvage, but at least I was writing.  The cure for writer’s block, for me, is NOT not writing.  Another trick that I use is to look at photos I’ve recently taken and write a post based on one of the shots.  There are also lots of sites that offer weekly memes or writing prompts that can help you get over the hump.

As your readership grows (and it WILL grow), your concerns about what and who you blog about will become a concern.   The more people that read you, the more you may become self-conscious about what you should and shouldn’t reveal.   BUT WHAT ABOUT AUTHENTICITY!?!  It seems to be a buzz word these days around blogging.  My personal ever developing philosophy about this is that I never write something that would intentionally hurt another person.  I don’t share EVERY detail of my life, but I also don’t only write smooshy, feel good posts.  I also include my mistakes and heartaches.

While at Blissdom, I attended a writer’s workshop led by Megan from Velveteen Mind, Arianne from To Think is to Create, Deb from Deb on the Rocks, and Amber from The Run A Muck.  In the session, Megan mentioned that she was listening to the audiobook, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within (Disclosure:  Affiliate link).  The point that Megan explained that most struck me was that if there’s a writer whose work makes you crazy envious, instead of being jealous, begin to look at that writer as a teacher from whom you can learn.  Another thing that this workshop spurred within me was that in order for me to be a better writer, I have to start thinking of myself as a REAL writer, not just some pretend wanna-be that has no talent.

I realize that my style of writing isn’t everybody’s cup of tea.  My writing isn’t eloquent prose, expertly crafted with $20 words and perfect grammar.  I think that my strength is my ability to craft a story in such a way that others can relate.  It’s taken YEARS for me to recognize this strength and for me to OWN this strength.  Each one of has a writing strength.  Find it!  Not to be cliche, but find your voice and hone it.  Your writing may not be for everyone, but don’t try to write in a way that isn’t truly you.

3.  We ALL get jealous of other bloggers.

I love this tweet from @MindiCherry (Moms Need to Know)

It seems like every week there’s another top blogger list published, the same eleven bloggers have been invited on yet another fabulous trip, and you hear that another blogger has a book deal.   Maybe you wrote your heart out on your latest post and only received a few comments, you lost 100 subscribers overnight, or you don’t have as many followers as you’d like to have on Twitter.  It is HARD not to let these things get you down.  But hear this!

YOU CANNOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS GET YOU DOWN!

DON’T LET YOUR STATS DEFINE YOU! (comment numbers, page views, @replies, subscriber numbers)

Sorry to shout like that, but I really need you to hear those things.  In fact, I’m going to shout them again.

YOU CANNOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S SUCCESS GET YOU DOWN!

Most of the bloggers that seem to have what you want, whether it’s their comment numbers, perceived stats, or free trips didn’t start blogging a week ago.  They’ve been working hard for what they’ve received.   They are engaging writers, great at building their community, excellent at networking and have developed relationships with the “right” people.  Guess what?  YOU can also do those things!   It just takes time, patience, skill, and networking.

I was recently named as on of Babble’s Top 50 Mommy Bloggers.  To me it was a HUGE honor, I’d never been named to a list like this one before.  But what does it really mean for me?  I’m not thinner, my boobs aren’t perkier, I’m not suddenly recognized in the grocery store by adoring fans, and I haven’t been offered a job as an Editor for a major publishing company.  I didn’t even get a trophy!  What I do get, is at least 100 more product review requests in my inbox per week now, not exactly something that makes me jump with joy.

DON’T LET YOUR STATS DEFINE YOU! (comment numbers, page views, @replies, subscriber numbers)

I’ve said before that the size of your blogging community is only as important as YOU make it.  If you have 10 loyal readers, that is AWESOME!  If you have 1,000 loyal readers, that’s AWESOME, too…not awesome-er.    The thing about stats is that there may never a number that truly satisfies you.  I’m not saying that you won’t one day have 500 or 2000 or 10,000 subscribers (or whatever your goal may be), but I am saying that even when you get to that magical number, it won’t feel as great as you thought it would.   The quest for MORE, in terms of blogging, is insatiable.

Instead of focusing on THE NUMBER, focus on your community.   Come to truly appreciate those who DO read your blog and interact with you on Twitter.  Remember your original reasons for blogging and what makes blogging fun.  I know that logging into StatCounter is NOT usually fun, but emailing back and forth with a reader can totally make your day.

Here’s a post by Megan from Velveteen Mind that speaks to not allowing your stats to define you, go read it!  I also suggest reading this post from PhD in Parenting that discusses reasons to check your stats, none of which say anything about your stats defining who YOU are.

4.   Unless you are a robot, your feelings will probably get hurt at some point.

I am honored and humbled that so many of you comment and subscribe to my blog.  Unfortunately since there are more than 25 of you, I’m just not able to read every one of your blogs.  I used to have time for reciprocating every comment, I also used to have only one child who napped twice a day and gave me four whole hours of complete, unadulterated commenting time.   These days, I’m lucky to get four hours A WEEK to devote to blogging.  It gives me the nervous tummy to think that I may have hurt someone’s feelings because they’ve been a loyal commenter and I’ve barely acknowledged their existence.

People seem to get hung up is on the perception that “popular” bloggers don’t make any time for other, smaller bloggers, that they appear to only interact with the other elite.  Perhaps this is true for some, not every blogger out there is interested in expanding their already ginormous community.   I’m not immune to the feelings of rejection by other bloggers, but I’ve stopped interacting (and even reading) many of the people that I know have little to no interest in getting to know me.  However, I suspect that most “popular” bloggers are interested in interacting with their readers, but are limited by time.

My feelings have been hurt too many times to count since I started blogging.  My most favorite blogger of all time (formerly) absolutely crushed me when, the day after I first began this Blog Tip Sharing series, she wrote about how ridiculous it was to tell other people how to blog and she just couldn’t understand why anyone cared about making their blog better.  I’ve had my feelings hurt over emails I’ve sent that have gone unanswered.  It hurts my feelings when I’ve replied a ridiculous amount of times to someone on Twitter and they’ve NEVER responded.  Sometimes when I see that someone isn’t following me back on Twitter that I think should be following me, I’ll do the quick unfollow-refollow because SURELY the fact that they aren’t following me is a mistake!

Trolls can also show up uninvited to your blog and wreak havoc.  I’ve had my fair share of trolls, they are particularly fond of my posts about Alabama.   I could shoot off indignant replies or post their IP addresses on my blog, but I’m a firm believer that if you ignore them, you take away their fuel.  There is only so much room in my brain, I simply do not have the space available to allow people full of negativity take up that space.

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I hope that this post has served as some sort of blog induced frustration therapy.  However you’re feeling, both the positive AND the negative feelings, have been felt by all of us.  It’s not easy to pour your heart out online or write sometime brilliantly funny and feel like you’re not getting noticed.  We’re bloggers!  We’re narcissistic!  If we didn’t care at all about getting some sort of accolades, we’d all be writing in a private forum.

Make the decision in your mind that you’re okay with how much time you devote to blogging, your writing abilities, and make peace with your stats and popularity status.

(I’d been working on this post for two weeks when I noticed that Loralee’s post about blogging and jealousy had been syndicated at BlogHer. I decided to go ahead and post this, even though the subject matter is so similar, I think there’s room for two parallel viewpoints.)

Previously in this series: Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School, Blog Design, Sidebars and Pages, Building your Community, Developing your Brand

I’m feeling very sentimental about blogging after all of your thoughtful and kind comments yesterday.

I started writing online back in 2006. That was the same year that I joined and started participating online for the first time via a message board. If you would have said to me in 2005, that I’d be regularly interacting with people online, via a message board or WORSE! a blog, I’d would have thought you were just trying to annoy me.

All that I knew about blogs at the time was that it was a place where geeks wrote about geeky things. Most blog writers were middle-aged balding dudes, living in their parent’s basements, wearing wife-beater tees. They stayed up all night chatting online about Dungeons and Dragons while eating cheetos and drinking cheap beer.

I’m still certain that type of blogger exists (ha! kidding!), I found that my image of bloggers was way off. In fact, I’ve discovered a group of people that I really identified with and now I can’t imagine NOT interacting with people online. I depend on your support, perspective, and humor.

So back to aught six, I met a local blogger through my message board . Through her blog, I then found a whole world of people interacting online, talking about motherhood and marriage, weight gain and women’s friendships. The very first blogs I read were several of the now defunct Club Mom blogs. Those first blogs that I read were the ones that changed my outlook of blogging and quite literally changed the course of my life. Those blogs were, (since I can’t link to their Club Mom blogs, I’ll link to their personal blogs…) Motherhood Uncensored, All & Sundry, Cheeky Lotus, and So the Fish Said.

Today is Delurking Day, a day where you I encourage you to “delurk” or say “hi,” especially if you don’t normally comment. Yes, it’s a blatant ploy to get comments. I’m okay with that. I know it’s awkward to comment when you really have nothing to say, so I’m asking you to delurk (or just comment as you regularly do!) and tell me, who were your first blog reads?

Delurking Day, hosted by Greeblemonkey and Rude Cactus

Long time no see! At least in the “blog school” sense. Hope you enjoyed your holiday vacation and are ready to be back at school.

Today we’ll be focusing on your brand. How your blog looks and how you market your blog is your brand. Think about brands you see everyday. You can see the “golden arches” and immediately recognize McDonald’s or the red target and know it’s Target. When it comes to personal blogs, it may not be as simple as a logo to identify your blog. There are ways to maintain consistency between the sites where you interact and promote yourself, making yourself recognizable.

Consider the following areas when developing and marketing your brand.

1. The name of your blog

Most likely if you’re reading this, your blog already has a name. If not, then try to come up with something unique and memorable.

Just in case you haven’t named your blog, there are several things to consider when deciding upon a name.

Google the name to be sure nobody else has the same or a too similar blog name.

There are already 45, 334, 291 blogs that have the word “Mommy” in them. That’s not a bad thing! But, do you want your blog to be confused with somebody elses? Unfortunately many blogs have similar names. Diva, domestic, ANY alcoholic beverage, children, life, baby, diaper, housewife, diary, suburban, slacker, and queen are all words that have been used, and used again by many bloggers (including myself). This certainly poses a problem if you have your heart set on the blog name, “The Life of a Suburban Diapering Domestic Queen Mommy Who Drinks Martinis.”

Mommy/parenting/personal bloggers DO NOT have to have anything even remotely child-related in their blog title. Look at Sweetney, Amalah, Finslippy, and Metalia! The disadvantage of names such as those is that without knowing them, you may not know what their blog is about. Considering the popularity of these blogs, I *think* their writing abilities helped them overcome the “disadvantage.”

Try to think in terms of “will I like this blog name in two years? five years?…”

When I began this blog, I had a baby and was pregnant (not surprisingly, with another baby). The name “Playgroups are no place for children” was very fitting, as I was an active playgroup participant. The name reflected my those current interests. It’s now three years later and I haven’t been in a playgroup in several years. My children are growing up and eventually I foresee not talking about them as often. My blog name will be really ridiculous when my kids are in middle school.

Since most of you already have your blog name set, you may want to claim your name on all the free blogging platforms like Blogger and Wordpress.com. I’d recommend setting up a blog with your blog name with those sites so that no one else can. I have blogs set up at playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.blogspot.com, playgroups…forchildren.wordpress.com, AND I own this url. In Blogger and Wordpress, there is a way to make it so that it’s not found easily by search engines so that people are not accidentally redirected to those dummy sites.

2. The name you use to identify yourself in the blogosphere

I use the name “Playgroupie” because 1) it’s easily derived from my blog name and 2) it’s unique. With a very common name like Jennifer, I use “playgroupie” as my email address, twitter name, etc…

Also whenever I leave comments, I say “Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children” to distinguish me from the 2,000,000 other mommybloggers named Jennifer. I recommend that if your name is Jennifer, Heather, Deb, Amanda, or something equally as common, you choose a nickname derived from your blog name and/or use your name followed by your blog name.

For example: Deb, Mom of 3 Girls, or Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake, or Burgh Baby

You should also consider how relevant the name you choose will be in the future. The name “Playgroupie” is seriously like NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD to me. I really despise it with every fiber of my being. However, it was a good choice in the beginning and it would take way too much effort in this stage of the game to change it. With that said, the name you choose doesn’t HAVE to be a nickname. It can be your real name or a pen name. More and more bloggers are starting to use their first and last names (even me!)

Whatever name you choose, be sure to use the same one across sites you frequent. It makes you easier to find and identify if you have the same name on your email address, Twitter, StumbleUpon, etc.

Speaking of Twitter, the name you use there should be as short as humanly possible. With only 140 characters to send messages, long Twitter names get in the way. This consideration isn’t meant to contradict the above advice, but it’s something to consider.

3. A visual association to your blog

This is tricky. As I already mentioned, a logo is typically not something you see associated with a personal blog. If you are a niche blogger and plan to somehow turn your blog into a money making venture (good luck with THAT!), then you probably want to hire someone to design a logo to represent your brand.

There is more than one way to visually represent your blog. For example, you can have buttons, avatars, favicons, and iPhone/iTouch icons made to be miniature representations of your blog header. In the past, my visual branding was a picture of my son wearing a bucket on his head. That picture is still my favicon, but ONLY because I can’t for the life of me get it to change.

Visual representations of your blog don’t necessarily need to be static or based on your blog’s header. As long as the same picture is used across the different sites you frequent, I think it’s perfectly fine to change it occasionally. The trend in avatars seems to be moving away from cartoon representations to personal photos. I know that on Twitter, I prefer to see a picture of the person I’m replying to!

4. The way you interact and present yourself in the blogosphere

Bloggers are often known by how they interact, particularly in their writing and on Twitter. Some are known for being helpful, or controversial, information providing, humorous, or political. There are bloggers known as babywearers, as green, fashionistas, or fitness buffs.

Think about what you want to be “known” for in our community and interact with others in a way that reflects that. Since I’m not an expert at any one thing, my aim is truly to just be known as being an all around nice gal. I try to reply to lots of different people on Twitter, keep an open mind and watch my tendency to be judgmental in my posts, be willing to lend a hand to fellow bloggers, and promote others.

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I feel certain I’ve left out some important information. Please ask any questions you may have in the comments section or add any additional thoughts on branding.

Welcome back to class everyone!  I hope all of enjoyed your Thanksgiving weekend, or if you’re not American, I hope you enjoyed your regular ol’ weekend.

Today’s class is going to focus on building a community around your blog.  What I mean by community is this:  The people who visit and comment, the meaningful interactions with other bloggers, and positive word-of-mouth about your blog.   Building a community around your blog is vital to attracting and maintaining readers.   You want to create an atmosphere on your blog where people feel welcome and want to come back.

To build a community around YOUR blog, though, means regularly venturing out and participating in OTHER blog communities.

In the past year, I’ve neglected commenting on blogs and replying to comments left on this site.  I KNOW that my lack of reciprocity and communication with others has negatively affected building this community.  So, everything I’m recommending?  I need to take these suggestions and actually start putting them to use again.

1.  Comment on others’ blogs

I think that this is THE NUMBER ONE THING you can do to attract and maintain readers to your site.  Commenting on other blogs is especially important when you’re first starting out with your blog.  In fact, behind well-written content, I think it’s THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do to generate traffic.   Find other blogs in your niche and let the comment love flow.

People LOVE receiving comments and your comment let’s people know that you visited.  Consider your comment your calling card.  Not only does the blog author see your calling card, but so do other visitors to the site.  If you’ve left a particularly witty or well-written comment, you’re likely to get people’s interest piqued enough to click through to your site.  Beware of leaving very obviously “traffic-seeking” comments, like “Oh that was funny.  Be sure to check out my blog at Practically Comment Spam!”

With that said, there does come a point when commenting and reciprocating comments can take over your life.  Literally.  There does have to be a balance between commenting, social media participation, and writing on your blog.  In an upcoming post, we’ll discuss time management.

2.  Promote others’ posts via StumbleUpon or Twitter

If you don’t have time to leave a comment, but think that what you’ve read is worth sharing, then promoting a post via StumbleUpon or Twitter is almost as good as leaving a comment.  Some people who really value their traffic numbers may even think it’s better than your comment.     The one downside to this, the person whose post you’ve promoted may not ever know that it was you who sent them an increase in traffic.  However, I definitely believe in blogging karma, what you put into the community will be repaid in full, which leads to my next point…

3.  Devote time to social media interaction.  Be accessible to your readers!

Whether you spend time on Twitter or Facebook, Flickr, or a message board, choose a place you enjoy, make friends, and participate.  It will pay off.

These are great places to interact with people in your blogging community.  I know that there’s many schools of thought on following/following back people on Twitter or friending people on Facebook and Flickr.  My personal opinion is that if you’re trying to seem accessible and truly participate in the community, you should follow (most) people back on Twitter and accept friend requests on Facebook/Flickr.

In regards to Twitter, with so many applications that allow you to set up lists so as to keep track of those you are closest to, then not following possibly relevant people back is kind of rude and can be interpreted as elitist.   This means that you should follow back people in your blogging genre (mommyblogging, food blogging, craft blogging…).  That doesn’t mean that you have to follow every Tom, Dick, and Harry that claims to be a social media expert or random guys with no profiles set up.  You can also always unfollow people that you realize you have nothing in common with.

4.  Join weekly meme’s/carnivals

(There is some debate as to what these weekly participation things are called…from here on out for ease of reading, we’re going to call them carnivals, okay?)

There are so many different carnivals you can join to promote content on your site each week.  Participation in these carnivals can be a great way to generate traffic, especially when you’re first starting out.  Being a regular contributor to a particular carnival is also a way to developing relationships with the other participants.  If you do choose to participate, it is a good thing to also visit the other sites participating.

As great as participation in weekly carnivals can be, it can easily be overdone.  Carnival postings should be interspersed with original content.

Here are just a few carnivals in which you can participate:

Not Me Monday at My Charming Kids
Mouthwatering Monday at A Southern Fairytale
Wordless Wednesday
Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family
Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries
Top Ten Thursday at My Messy Paradise
Girl Talk Thursday
Thursday Thirteen
Fight the Frump Friday at Blissfully Domestic
Photo Story Friday at My Chaos My Bliss
Weekly Winners at Sarcastic Mom
You Capture at I Should Be Folding Laundry

If you know of any others to include, please let me know and I will add them!

5.  Reply to emails

If someone has emailed you, REPLY.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve emailed another blogger only to get *crickets chirping*  NO REPLY.  This has also happened too many times to count, when someone has emailed me for advice or assistance, but never bothered to thank me for my reply.  *shakes head in disgust*

Listen people.  It’s rude not to reply to emails.  If you don’t have time, then reply back and say, “Hey, I’m so swamped right now, I’m sorry I can’t reply right away, but when I get a chance, I will!”

(If you think I’m talking about you, well….)  Speaking of replying…

6.  Reply to comments left on your blog

Replying to comments lets your readers know that 1) you actually read your comments and 2) appreciate each comment left.  Before learning about the greatest comment plugin ever that emails my reply to the commenter, I would just reply via email.   Most of us don’t have time and it also isn’t necessary to respond to every single comment on your site.  Some comments don’t require replies, but those comments that ask a question or that just make your day, SHOULD GET A REPLY.

The ability to respond to comments is also a point of contention between different blogging platforms.  In fact the whole replying to comments issue is one reason I switched from Blogger to WordPress.  I think that Blogger’s key flaw is that you don’t have to include your email address when you comment.   Tsk, tsk.

6.  Show your readers you care about them by linking to them

The greatest way in the world of blogs to let someone know that you admire their work, besides commenting! and promoting their posts in social media forums, is to link to their site.  If a post of someone’s inspired you to write your own, LINK TO THEM!

7.  Link to your own posts to help explain the backstory to new readers

Have you ever walked up to a group of people who are all laughing about some situation and people that you’re clueless about?   You stand their feeling awkward and left out…  This happens on blogs all the time.  I regularly read new-to-me blogs and don’t understand what they’re referring to, then in the comments section I realize I’m the only one who doesn’t know the back story.

Remember that many people just randomly happen upon your blog and do not know your life story.  If you want to make your new readers feel welcome and you’re talking about something that has a backstory or could be clarified by something you’ve already posted about, then LINK TO THOSE POSTS!  Don’t let new readers feel like the new kid who doesn’t get the joke.

So basically what I’m trying to say…Building relationships in blogging is exactly like building relationships in real life.  Be nice to others, return favors, and make others feel welcome.  The goal should be to develop meaningful relationships with those to whom you relate.

I also think it’s important to mention that the size of your blogging community is only as important as YOU make it.  If you have 10 loyal readers, that is AWESOME!  If you have 1,000 loyal readers, that’s AWESOME, too…not awesome-er.  When a blogging community becomes very large, it’s hard to maintain those readers through reciprocity in comments, replying to comments, or linking to new sites.

What do you think fosters a welcoming blog community?  Who are the bloggers you feel like do a particularly good job building a community around their blog?

Previously in this series…Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School, Blog Design, Sidebars and Pages

Let’s all take a moment and give thanks to our host, Neil, for reminding us to remember our first commenters as we prepare for the most thankful of all holidays, Thanksgiving.

Though I still find it incredibly thrilling to see that I have a new comment, nothing really compares to the very first comments you receive. In the early days it was so amazing that someone actually read something that you wrote (and it wasn’t your mom or your English professor.)

I’d first like to give thanks to Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake, before she was actually the Queen of Shake-Shake. She was just a friend of mine I met in a playgroup. She was the very first person to comment on my blog. It was a comment she left on this beautifully written masterpiece, Finagling.

However, no offense to Heather, but since she’s a friend of mine, I feel like I actually should give some credit to my very comment from a stranger. Let’s all bow our heads and give thanks to Mommiebear2, from Who Cries Over Spilled Milk who also left a comment on the same post.

The comment she left:

“Like said above, a double stroller is awesome! My daughter was about 1 1/2 when my son was born (premature at that – 25 weeks) but somehow I managed, and you will too. ”

True words, Mommiebear2, true words. Thanks for the smiley face, too.

I remember sitting at my desk in our office, staring in amazement at my computer screen. I couldn’t fathom how she’d found my blog, but immediately felt like we’d be close friends forever. Unfortunately, we lost touch several years ago. I’m glad Neil had this idea, giving me the nudge to look her up.

So Mommiebear2 (and Heather), thanks for my very first comments!

Hola friends and new readers-soon-to-be-friends!   Today’s topic is a continuation of last week’s discussion of blog design.   Let’s talk about your (probably overloaded) sidebars.  I say that they are probably overloaded because, well, most sidebars, INCLUDING MINE, are.  Whether you have one, two, or more sidebars, the stuff you stick over there needs to have some sort of purpose.

Generally, we want things in our sidebars to entice our readers to stick around and read more.  Your sidebars are also a good place to put information that lets your new readers get to know who you are and who they are reading about.  When your sidebars are too cluttered, INCLUDING MINE, people tend to ignore all of it because it’s too cluttered.

One excellent way to clean up your messy sidebars is to add pages.  Under my header, there are links to pages that contain information that I previously had in my sidebars.  With a little html/javascript/css knowledge, they can be added to any template.  Just google “adding pages to blog” and you’ll find about 261 million sites willing to help you.

Let’s talk about the MUST HAVES for your sidebar(s).

1.  Subscribe button

Make it easy for people to subscribe to your feed.  My subscribe button is over there to your left, right up at the top.  Easy to find!  I really like that particular button because it makes it easy to add the feed to any feed reader.  You can get that button, too, at addtoany.com.  However, I think there’s something to be said for the universal RSS button…

, it is highly recognizable and it might be a smarter option.

2.  Cast of Characters/About

When a new reader stops by, they need to know who and what your blog is about.  In my sidebar I have my name, a picture of myself, the names and ages of my kids, and my husband’s name.  This information is a CRUCIAL thing to have in your sidebar.  New readers can use this as a reference so they know who you’re writing about in your posts.  (The picture isn’t 100% crucial, but I do feel more connected to the bloggers that I can “see.”)

I think it’s also important to have an “About” page where you can tell a little more about yourself than you can with just a few lines in your sidebar.

If you don’t already have this on your blog, I’ll wait for you to fix that RIGHT NOW.

**taps fingers**

3. Your email address

I mentioned this last week in our discussion of blog design.  It’s still relevant this week.

4.  Comment Policy

You need to let commenters know what you do and don’t allow people to say in your comments section.  Be sure to let readers know if you edit comments, delete rude comments, or if cursing isn’t allowed.  Here’s a great explanation of comment policies from The Blog Herald.

5.  Search Box

This is helpful for those who come to your blog and want to search for something specific.  I often use search boxes on other’s blogs when I’m looking for a post that I wish to link.

6.  Review and Disclosure Policy (For review bloggers)

With the new FTC regulations regarding bloggers, endorsements, free stuff, and integrity, this is a vital component to a review blog.  This does not necessarily have to be listed in the sidebar, it could certainly be a separate page. I  mention it here because it’s a MUST HAVE.

Those six items listed above are probably the only ABSOLUTELY necessary things you should have in your sidebar (or as a separate page).    However, most of us, INCLUDING ME, cannot resist the lure of other widgets and buttons for our sidebars.  So let’s continue to discuss some of the other things that are useful, though not necessary.

7.  Archives, most recent posts , and favorite posts, series of posts

Offering these in your sidebar makes it easy for people to nose around your site.   I have drop down menu for my archives, listed my month and year.  Instead of listing them in my sidebar, I made a page for my favorite posts.

The pages of mine that seem to get the most traffic (besides my “About” page) are “Bama” and “Smackdown.”  My very scientific hypothesis as to the reason behind this is that people are fascinated by the possibility that real people actually LIVE in Alabama.  (I’m kidding.)  I think that people are also looking for a good fight, thus their clicks on my “Smackdown” button.

8.  Links to your social networking sites, like Twitter, StumbleUpon, Flickr, etc.

These links let people know where else they can find and “friend” you.  I don’t have links to every site I belong to, but the sites that I use the most.  You can even dress up your links with fancy icons.  Here’s a great source for finding free social networking icons.  (There are many sites like this, just google “free social networking icons.”)

The next two items to include in your sidebar, I’m not 100% sure that they are at all necessary, but I know that some of us, INCLUDING ME, have trouble letting these things go.  I’d LOVE to have a discussion in the comments section about the following items and hear your take.

9.  Subscriber Number

Last year when I originally published this, I recommended displaying your subscriber number, as I was convinced that it actually helped increase my subscriber count.  I still stand behind that, I’m certain that it works.  However, I know that displaying my number prominently started to feel wrong.  It became this thing that could make or break my day.

If you are really wanting to get serious about blogging, if your goal is to make money or get a book deal, I’d recommend displaying your subscriber number.  For me, though, I purposely moved my number (it’s still on the front page, just not as prominently) to remind myself why I really blog.

In case you care, here’s an article from Problogger that discusses revealing your subscriber count.

10.  Blogroll/Blogger’s Blog List

Since most people’s blogrolls are hundreds of sites long I really think that they can make a blog look incredibly cluttered (especially the Blog List on Blogger sites.)  I KNOW that so many of you actually USE these for your own reading pleasure, it’s just that they take up SO MUCH space.

There are ways you can still have a blogroll, but without so much clutter including:

**Creating a separate page that houses your blogroll, or even linking to a separate blog where you keep your blogroll.
**A rotating blogroll which shows just a few of the blogs you read at a time
**Expandable boxes for hiding or showing your blog list (also excellent for hiding awards, buttons, etc.)
**Scroll boxes.

(By the way, my blogroll is NOT updated.  Since I use a feed reader to keep track of the blogs I read, the only time I add people to my blogroll is when someone asks.  If you’re not on it and wish to be because I’m on yours, please email me and I will add you.)

As I mentioned last week, make sure that whatever you have in your sidebar is not holding up the loading of your page.  Long load times means lost visitors.  Many of the award buttons and twitter widgets cause these slow loading times.  Beware!

I realize that I have many things in my sidebars in addition to the items I mentioned above like ads and my book list.  Like my Internet addiction, I’m slowly weaning myself from the lure of excessive widgetry*(new word!).  It’s a work in progress.

I’d love to know what you think is necessary in a blog’s sidebar.  What do you think is unnecessary?

Previously in this series…Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School, Blog Design

A nice* blog design makes people want to stay and read.

Nice (in reference to blog design) adj. “A blog that doesn’t make your eyes bleed.”

I think that everyone has opinions on what a nice blog design is, some of us think a background design looks really cool, where others think that lots of white space is the cat’s meow.  Some people like two sidebars, others prefer three or even four.  Since this blog series is about what has worked for me, that’s what I’ll focus on, but also include some links to helpful articles and blog posts I’ve read on the subject.

Megan from Velveteen Mind said it best, regarding blog design,

“In essence, we are slipping our books into the shelves at Barnes and Noble and saying, “Yes, the cover is plain blue with only my title centered on the front, no excerpts on the back, and no one knows I wrote it because I just brought it from home…  but yes, everyone here should single it out on the shelf and buy it.  Because it’s damn good.”

Don’t judge my book by its cover, right?

I know it isn’t fair.  Our writing should be enough.  But when you have millions of voices saying that their writing should be enough, what are our poor readers to do?”f

Let’s talk about overall blog design.

1.  A unique design makes you standout (unlike those provided by Typepad, Blogger, and WordPress.)

I know that when I switched from one of Blogger’s stock templates to a unique three-column design with custom header, I had an increase in readership.  Certainly there are exceptions to this, as two of my favorite blogs, Swistle and Oh, The Joys, simply use the Minima template provided by Blogger and they are doing quite well without a fancy pants design.

There are thousands of free templates that you can find simply by googling “free template for blogger/wordpress.”  Also, simply adding a unique header, easily made with the assistance of a program like Photoshop Elements or even Picnik can spiff up a basic template.  If you happen to use Blogger for your blogging platform, Tips for New Bloggers is a great site that walks you step by step through tweaking and customizing the basic templates.

My blog uses a free template, courtesy of Scribblescratch, I designed the header myself, and Jennifer from Dress My Blog (and Jayesel) has helped me do a little tweaking.

If you prefer a truly unique design, there are many reasonably priced web designers who can help you.  Here are just a few…

Dress My Blog
Swank Web Style
Temptation Designs
NW Designs
Simply Amusing Designs
Graphically Designing
Designs by Shannon
Judith Shakes Designs
Izzy Blog Design and Graphics
Splat Creative Designs
Pixel Pop Designs

2.  Your blog MUST be fast loading

When people have 1000+ unread in their Google Readers or those who’ve stumbled upon your blog have to wait for your page to load, they simply aren’t going to wait and will click away, resulting in LOST READERS!  {OH NO!}

In the past, I’ve had to remove widgets from my sidebar that caused my blog to load slowly.  Other things that slow loading time are cluttered sidebars with excessive blog awards, coding errors, and flashy ads or backgrounds.  You know those little flashy buttons that say things like “I <3 breastfeeding!” and “Twilight fanatic!”??  THOSE?  Are the devil Kill the look of a blog Really impact the time it takes for your blog to load. Please make them go away.

Designs where the content is on the left, with sidebar(s) on the right, helps with improving loading, since at least your content is loading FIRST.  If something is hanging up loading time, people can still read your post.

3.  Make sure that whatever template you choose for your blog looks nice* in all web browsers.

You can check this by going to browsershots.org.  *ahem*  Apparently my blog looks like crap in Internet Exploder.  I don’t know how to fix it and frankly, I think those of you reading this via IE should pick a different browser.  Try Firefox or Google Chrome.

4.  Your blog should be easy to navigate.

a)  Is your contact information easy to find?  Like, is it ON your front page, not just on a “contact” page or an “about” page?  Please, for the love of all things bloggy, put your email address or a button that links to your email on your front page!!!!!!  There is no reason to have to go on a scavenger hunt to find your email address. This is particularly important for those of you who are review bloggers.

b)  Is it obvious where to comment on your blog?

c)  Is your header “clickable?”  If not, you really need to make a button that people can push to send them to your “home” page.  On my blog, there is a “Home” button along the top, under my header.  If your blog template doesn’t support this, it is easily done in your sidebar, you just need to code it….

For example:

<a href=”http://playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com>HOME</a>

You can also make your header clickable…somehow…if anyone would like to share with the class how to do this, please do so in the comments section.

d)  Is your most recent post the first thing at the top of your blog?    The one exception to this might be for those of you who frequently do giveaways and have your current giveaway as a “sticky” post.   I’m referring to blogs that have an “about me” paragraph or a “cast of characters” before the first post.  That’s information that is better left on a separate page or in the sidebar.

5.   Did I mention before the design should look nice*?

Oh yes, I did! And this is what I mean…

Think about these things…the colors you choose for your background, headers, links, and fonts.  Make sure they are easy to read.  White writing on a black background…not so good, except for Photo Blogs.  Stay far, far away from tiny fonts, they’re too hard to read!  Even the font on this blog is a little too light-colored, I think.  I keep meaning to change it, um, uh…anyone know how?!

Beware of really elaborate or flashing backgrounds, as they can distract from your content.  If you have ads on your site, make sure they don’t overwhelm your content.

There is also a debate around the blogosphere about music that automatically plays on blogs.  Music that automatically plays isn’t my favorite, though I won’t definitely click away.  There are people who swear that they immediately leave if music starts playing.  It’s just something to consider.

Here are a few links to posts that discuss blog design…

Blog Design Tips from Typepad

43 Web Design Mistakes You Should Avoid

I’d love to hear what you all have to add about nice* blog designs.  Please, please, please, please…make certain your comments don’t sound like “I hate blogs that…”  I certainly don’t mind people putting in your opinions about what makes for a good blog design, just please consider the feelings of others.

Previously in this series…Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking, StumbleUpon School