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Blog Tip Sharing Project Redux: StumbleUpon School

Written on November 7, 2009 by Jennifer in blog tip sharing project redux, blogging, NaBloPoMo

StumbleUpon, StumbleUpon, StumbleUpon. I should confess that StumbleUpon (SU) often totally baffles me. Some posts go over well, others die a very quick death and I don’t really know why. I hear from so many of you that you’ve seen no traffic from SU and that you don’t really see the point of using it. I cannot promise that you’ll ever see any traffic from SU. There I said it. But I know that for me, anywhere from 10-75% of my daily traffic is generated because of SU.

With that said, I have learned a few things about using SU that I think will help you. I’ll give these tips in list form! And! I’ll give these tips in three, easy to follow levels! (Please note that SU has recently updated itself and I’m still learning the new format. I’m trying to provide as accurate of information as I possibly can!)

Part 1, StumbleUpon Kindergarten

Let’s start at the beginning. For those of you who are not SU newbies, scroll on down to Part 2 and Part 3 of this post where I’ll give some more intermediate tips.

1. First of all you have to set up an account at http://www.stumbleupon.com. You’ll be asked to choose a name, try to choose one that best fits your brand (links to a blog tip post that’s not yet been updated) . Next, you’ll be directed to “Join and Download Now.” The “download” part means that you’ll be downloading the SU toolbar into your browser, which is vital to getting the most out of SU.

If you use Firefox as your browser, you’ll also need the SU Add-on. I’ve heard that SU and Safari don’t play well together. That’s too bad.

2. You need to set up your preferences once you’ve received your password via email and have logged into your SU account. Along the top right of the page, you’ll see the word “Settings.”

Next you’ll see some more tabs: Account Settings, Customize Profile, Manage Interests, and Profile Picture. Go ahead and complete the information in each of the sections.

In the “Customize Profile” tab, you can write a little blurb about yourself, your blog, share your interests, and customize the look of your SU page. My blurb says, “I’m Jennifer, nice to meet you! Come visit me at my blog http://playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com!” You can write whatever you’d like, although I’d recommend putting your blog address, as this is the only place on your profile where you can do that.

Make sure you’ve hit the green “Save Preferences” button at the bottom of the page!!!

3. Start subscribing to other’s StumbleUpon pages. This is entirely different than subscribing to a blog via a feed reader, as you will access their pages from your personal SU homepage. (Though you can subscribe to these pages via feed reader, but you really don’t need to do that.) Subscribing is basically the same as adding friends, a feature that recently was discontinued on SU.

Click the word “Stumblers” at the top of the page. Allow SU to search your email address book for people who are already SU users, click the green “Find Friends” button on the right hand side of the page.

4. Begin to understand the toolbar you’ve downloaded. The following is a step by step guide on how to use it.

* To stumble a post click on the title of the post so that you’re on the direct URL to the post you wish to stumble.

Rather than stumble an entire site, stumble specific posts on a site.

* Hit the “thumbs up/I like it!” button.

* If it hasn’t already been stumbled, then a box will appear where you’ll write a little review (explanation below). You’ll also be asked to put it in a category. Choose your category WISELY. Then add as many tags as you can, the more the better. (Sometimes, SU screws it up, though, and puts it in an incorrect category despite your best efforts.)

* If the post HAS already been stumbled, then when you hit the “thumbs up/I like it!” button, it will change colors. When it does, hit the little “speech bubble” button and write a review and add tags. You certainly don’t have to write a review for EVERY site you stumble, but the more reviews you write, the more weight your stumbles carry…(yes, the explanation is below)

And now you are ready to graduate to 3rd grade! You’re such geniuses that you get to skip 1st and 2nd grades!

Part 2, StumbleUpon Grade 3

So now what, right? Now that you’ve subscribed to some other’s SU pages, also known as their SU blog, AND you know how to use that fancy schmancy toolbar, you are ready to learn more about stumbling.

Let’s start stumbling! Here are my favorite ways:

1. Just read a post or found a website you adore? Stumble it! Hit the “thumbs up/I like it” button on your toolbar and write a review.

2. Go directly to your friends’ SU pages and see what they’ve most recently stumbled upon.

On your SU toolbar, look for the icon of two people together. See it up there? Clicking this allows you to discover the sites stumbled by your SU friends/subscriptions.

3. From your own SU page, look for the “Discover” tab and see what has most recently been stumbled by different friends.

4. You can even simply press the “Stumble” button on your toolbar.

Okay, next, let’s discuss writing a review and what I mean by “writing a review.” It’s very simple, grasshopper.

After you clickity-click that “thumbs up/I like it” button and either the box appears OR you click the “Speech Bubble” button you’ll write a review for the site.

For example:

“Recipe for peanut butter and fudge pasta.”

Or you can copy a key sentence from the post for your review. In Firefox, if you copy a section, it’s magically pasted into your review.

“From the post: ‘Obama and McCain are running for President of the United States and this is who I’m voting for.’”

BEWARE! Stumbling upon sites is addicting and can cause you to realize you’ve been stumbling for the past four hours while your children ate crumbs off the kitchen floor for lunch. Or so I’ve heard.

Okay, smartypants 3rd graders! It’s time to graduate to HIGH SCHOOL!

Part 3, StumbleUpon High School

Now that we can use the toolbar and we know how and what to stumble, let’s talk tips to drive traffic in your direction.

First and foremost, approach SU unselfishly. Look at it as a way to send traffic to your friends and highlight their really great work. Karma will hopefully eventually hunt you down and return the favor.

1. StumbleUpon frowns upon you stumbling your own site.

If you think you have a really fantastic post, ask someone to originally stumble it for you. You can always give it a thumbs up and review after them. The rumor is that you can only stumble one site fifteen times. I think this rumor has something to do with a time frame. You can review the same site MANY times over the course of months/years, but if you review the same site everyday for a month, you’ll get yourself banned from SU.

2. Write reviews when stumbling! They help up your status over simply just giving a site a thumbs up. The more reviews and sites you’ve stumbled upon, the more weight your stumbles carry. It also helps to subscribe to many people on SU and have many people subscribed to you.

For example, if you’ve only written a few reviews and given a handful of thumbs up, when you stumble a post it doesn’t carry as much weight as someone who has stumbled AND REVIEWED 3,286 sites. Getting a thumbs up from someone that has reviewed many sites and has many subscribers, will get your post noticed by more people.

3. Stumble often and stumble a variety of sites. DON’T ONLY STUMBLE YOUR OWN POSTS. BAD!!!

When I originally tried out SU, I only stumbled my own site and saw NO visitors. Once I figured this out and starting stumbling LOTS of sites, whenever I had a new post of mine that had been stumbled (by someone else), I saw more traffic driven to my site.

It’s also nice to just be generous and send traffic to sites you admire. If you’ve just read something that you just KNOW other people should read, too…then STUMBLE IT! It’s always nice to send a little traffic to your friends in the blogging community.

4. SU users love lists, pictures, humor, and well written posts.

According to different things I’ve read, SU users DO NOT LOVE slow loading sites, blah blog designs, long posts, typical “mommyblogger” posts about poop and what your kids didn’t eat for dinner.

5. The more tags you give a site, the more exposure it will get. Choose those tags wisely!

For example, if you choose just “Parenting” as a tag, you’re missing out on LOTS of potential visitors. Also choose “kids,” “family,” “babies,” “for-kids,” “homemaking…” Those are merely examples, but the point is…the more tags the better.

6. Review your friends’ SU blogs.

The term “blog” in this instance does not mean their actual BLOG that they write posts for, but rather the collection of sites they’ve stumbled upon. Your SU blog is your SU homepage (mine is http://playgroupie.stumbleupon.com).

To review your friends’ SU blogs, go to one of your friend’s SU page/blog, and click the “thumbs up/I like it” button on your toolbar. Write your review (“Love his stumbles, such a variety!”), add the tag “stumblers” and you’re done!

The more reviews you write and receive, the more weight your stumbles carry.

7. Take advantage of the StumbleUpon’s Photoblog It! feature. This feature adds the pictures you’ve stumbled upon to your page/blog.

When you stumble upon a photo that you’d like to review, you can right click on the image, scroll down to the bottom where it will say “StumbleUpon Photoblog It!” Click that, write your review, add your tags, and done.

8. DO NOT ONLY REVIEW YOUR OWN SITE. Yes, yes I know that I’ve said this like three times already. But I really need you to HEAR it. I mentioned above to approach SU unselfishly and I cannot stress enough how important it is to stumble and review OTHER’S sites.

There is nothing necessarily wrong with stumbling your own site occasionally. However if you stumbled your site today then before even CONSIDERING stumbling yourself again, you should go out and stumble 10-20 OTHER sites. Seriously, it drives other stumblers insane to see a person’s SU blog and the only things stumbled are things from their own website. Not cool.

********************************

I realize that this all seems like a lot of work. It is, but there are rewards. I think that SU can generate quality traffic, meaning that I’ve noticed after a high traffic day on SU, I’ve seen an increase in subscribers the next day. If you have any additional tips or corrections to what I’ve said, please include those in the comments section.

I’m certain that there will still be questions about StumbleUpon. Feel free to ask away! However, please remember that what I’ve said here today is based on MY experience with SU. So many of you repeatedly tell me that you see no benefits from SU, but the thing is, I can’t make SU work for you, you gotta make it work for you. Okay?

Previously in this series…Writing Tips, Blog Promotion and Social Networking

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New! and Improved! Jennifer! It’s! Exhausting!

Written on November 3, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging, hole-y matrimony, Little Monkeys, my hawt body, my stream of consciousness, NaBloPoMo, Quirky Me

I drank two cups of coffee this morning and I don’t even drink coffee and I feel a leeeeetle bit like I might have just intravenously injected the caffeine because I feel a little bit loooooopy. This must be what it feels like to be high, high, high!

I needed the two cups because I got up VERY EARLY to go running.

I got up VERY EARLY to go running because I have big, beefy thighs and I’m tired of carrying around the jelly donut that’s strapped to my waist.

Not only am I motivated! to exercise!, I’m motivated! to improve ALL of myself! Why not start now!

Writing: I’m doing this whole NaBloPoMo thing to try and reset my love of writing and blogging.

My marriage: I don’t like Tate about 75% of the time and I’m trying to cut that number down to about only 10% so I’m reminding myself to stop being a dick to him. I’ve also been listening to Focus on the Family marriage related podcasts (while I’m running) (which are kinda weird to listen to, but also kinda good.)

Health: Did I mention I’ve been running? Well I have been! And I’ve been drinking more water, which is almost harder than running because I can’t ever remember to actually drink it.

Parenting: I’ve given up yelling for Lent. Who cares that Lent doesn’t start until February? I can give it up now. It’ll be good practice because it’s going to take that long for the not yelling to actually stick. Also I’ve been reading some parenting books on topics such as “how to keep your head from exploding when your child throws a tantrum in a busy restaurant” and “exorcising demons from toddlers.”

I know “experts” say that people are “supposed” to make small changes when trying to achieve their goals, but if I do that, I’ll be 350 lbs, divorced, dehydrated, hoarse, AND my blog will suck even harder by the time I get around to fixing all that needs fixing.

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There once was a blogger from Nantucket

Written on September 4, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging

There’s one house in my neighborhood that has no window coverings, allowing us, when the light is just right, to peer into their home. This openness irritated me to the point of mania, obsessing every time I passed the house about the why. Why didn’t they cover their windows? Why do they allow us to look inside? Why doesn’t this bother them?

And then I realized that I live in a blog, and even though I have window coverings, they are sheer and at times wide open showing me walking around naked or unkempt. Why do I do this? Why do I want people looking inside? Why doesn’t this bother me?

There were two conversations on Twitter yesterday talking about feeling invisible and openly wondering if we packed up our blogs and disappeared tomorrow, would anyone notice? In a nutshell, the discussion revealed that a lot of us feel invisible and the majority of us feel dispensable. The answer to the age old question, When a blogger leaves in this vast and dense blogosphere forest, does anyone notice?, is no, not really. After a day or two, they’re forgotten and the Internet collectively sighs in relief at having one less person to keep track of.

I’ve been at this gig for almost three years. Three years of pimping myself out, three years of jumping up in down in front of my wide open windows yelling, “look at me!!! Look at me!! OVER HERE! See me?? Please like me!!” And yet? And yet I still often feel invisible, I still feel like I’m not part of the in crowd. Three years of still not being recognized.

“Oh hello, Jennifer. Playgroups are no place for children, you say? Nice to meet you.” says Big name blogger.

“Well actually we met last year at BlogHer, we talked for like, an hour. How do you NOT remember???” I seethe, silent in my head. But what I actually say is, “Nice to meet you, too.”

(No, I’m not talking about one situation or person, I’m referring to probably 15+ different occurrences.)

I am exhausted.

I keep telling myself that I started blogging and keep blogging because of this community. I keep telling myself that I blog because I enjoy it. It’s fun, right? When I first discovered blogs, I found so many like-minded women, struggling through the early days of motherhood, who didn’t sugar coat infancy and playdates and being a stay-at-home mom. Blogs made me feel vindicated.

Writing gave me something to do in those days when Carson was just a baby and I was so lonely, so bored, so discontent. It gave me something to occupy my mind, something to think about beyond my never ending laundry pile, what I could cook for dinner in five minutes or less, or how I was going to make it into the post office carrying a package and a carseat. In the early days, my blog was the sole place that was mine, and mine alone. Carson didn’t poop on it, Tate didn’t leave his dirty socks lying on it, I didn’t resent it like I did most everything else in my life at the time.

Here’s the kicker, though. I resent this blog now. Moreso, I resent that I don’t write the way I wished that I could.

What was once this great way to connect with others, has become this never ending loop of barely keeping my head above the social media water line. I’ve literally lost sleep over the fact that I haven’t ever visited some of the my most loyal commenters or that I didn’t answer a question left in my comments section or that I have at all times at least two or three need-to-be-answered emails. My close friends’ blogs, I hardly have time to read those and when I do, my comments often amount to “great post,” which is apparently the “wrong” way to comment.

Blogging has also become more than simply writing. There’s Twitter, that I do occasionally enjoy, but I feel so out of the loop since I can’t spend hours interacting like it seems so many others do. I talk to people, they don’t talk back. I talk to people and sometimes I don’t have time to reply. Hello vicious cycle! I cannot keep up, I feel like I’m drowning in the wake of bloggers who must have 48 hours in their days to my mere 24.

Then there’s the worry that I don’t use Twitter “correctly,” which really, is just plain STUPID. I’m so very tired of having to comment the “right” way, interact on Twitter the “right” way, always remembering to be “relevant,” when all I really want to do is connect with others because I’m lonely and bored.

In terms of writing, I’ve come to the realization that my writing isn’t, in fact, brilliant. I don’t completely suck, no, but there are millions (LITERALLY) of other women bloggers who smoke me in the writing department. This makes me feel like a very small fish in a huge, swirling vortex to nowhere. I’ve all but stopped reading some of my favorite blogs because they are such amazing writers that it makes me feel even worse when I struggle to write something witty or passionate yet what comes out is basically the same shitty post over and over. I’VE STOPPED READING PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY’RE GOOD???? That is all kinds of messed up.

(I’m not saying this to get some of you to say that you think that I’m a talented writer, because REALLY.)

You want some more brutal honesty? That little subscriber number over there in my sidebar? I have tried to take it down, but I can’t. It is too closely connected to my fragile blogger ego. I look at that number and think that when someone new that’s never been to my blog before sees that number, they’ll read my less than stellar writing and think, “but she has over 1,400 readers! She must be somebody.” The big bloggers may not recognize me, I may get very few @ replies on Twitter, I may sort of suck as a writer, but doggonit, I have subscribers!!

[Fraud, see also Imposter, see also playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.com]

I think every blogger/writer initially struggles to find their voice. I know that for me, I initially wanted to be very open, too open, writing about things overly personal. My windows had no coverings, and the light was always right for your peering eyes to see everything. Provocative, I remember trying to live up to that word, but all provocative turned out to for me was using the word f*ck a little too often. Now the pendulum has swung almost all the way to the other side, I’ve covered my windows with sheers and try to write watered down stories without curse words and about subjects that couldn’t possibly offend anyone. Now that I have found my middle ground voice, I don’t really like the way it sounds.

The thought crosses my mind nearly everyday that I should quit blogging, close up shop, copy my archives so that all this work is not totally gone. My memories are recorded on this blog after all. When I think of quitting, I get all panicky, though. “Who will I talk to?” “I know that as soon as I quit, I’ll have something really poignant to say.” “What will I do with my time?”

There is nothing simple about quitting. Blogging has become such a part of who I am. Most of my friends live in my laptop/iPhone. This hobby is the source of vacations and get togethers. Even though I’ve long been disillusioned with blogging, I spent a great deal of money to go to Chicago this summer for BlogHer. Without blogging, would I get a weekend away from the kids, spending time with friends?

I’ve been contemplating starting a completely different blog, a fresh start. That, too, makes me feel panicky. Or maybe it makes me feel even wearier. I remember the hours I spent commenting on other’s blogs, signing up my blog all over the place to get my name out there and to think I would have to do that again? And I’d lose my precious 1,400+ subscribers! Saying that makes me stop in my tracks, WHAT THE HELL am I doing? Starting over would be without strings attached, without the stress of “properly” interacting in the community and, dare I say it…, maybe it would be more about the writing. (HA!)

There is also the whole debate in the mommyblogging community about sponsored trips, reviews, free what the hell ever and how it reflects on us as a community. All of it, ALL OF IT, makes me overwhelmingly tired. Why yes I do have opinions on the subject, but since I can’t articulate what they are I’ll just keep my mouth shut. I only mention it because this SITUATION is part of what’s bothering me.

I feel at odds over ads on my site, too, but have justified that they have paid my hosting fees for this website and bought me some cheap shoes at Payless, in the clearance section. What bothers me about ads in general is that I have NOT posted things because I didn’t want what I was going to say to reflect poorly on an advertiser. Back in November when I did an entire month of giveaways, provided from some very generous sources, to “celebrate” my two year blogging anniversary, there were several posts that I WANTED to write, but due to their crass or controversial nature, I didn’t. Certainly that decision was good for “business,” but this blog didn’t begin as a business. How did turn into one?

I don’t really have a conclusion. There isn’t a conclusion. I do know that blogging is more often than not, no longer fun and that I just want to take a nap.

***

To clarify, this is not an announcement that I’m quitting blogging. In the event that I do quit, it will be without pomp and circumstance. I’ll quietly put up some thick, lined curtains and drive away when nobody is looking, and I won’t leave a forwarding address.

Maggie Dammit also has some thoughts, related to this very subject. You should read her post, Evolution of a Blogger.

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So. BlogHer.

Written on July 28, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging, Pictures, Quirky Me

It’s so hard to even begin to write about an experience such as BlogHer, particularly when there is so much being written about icky things that happened at the conference in relation to swag hoarding, swag mania, and pushy women inappropriately interacting with the PR folks. I certainly don’t want to further highlight bad behavior, because I HATE giving credence to to those that crap all over the rest of us that were NICE and either looking to make business/money-making connections or to simply hang out with friends. On the flip side, NOT mentioning the bad things seems sort of like non-disclosure or like I’m completely ignoring the ENORMOUS elephant in the room wearing a pink boa and Crocs, donning a bTrendie bag stuffed with e.l.f cosmetics and Tide samples, and holding an ever-buzzing vibrator.

So there was some very unsavory behavior by a small number of women who attended the conference. I’ve mentioned it and now I’m moving on because I’m not allowing a few rabid attendees to rain on my personal post-celebratory BlogHer parade.

I hope that for those of you who haven’t yet attended BlogHer and are considering attending in the future won’t let the negative things you hear about the conference sway your decision. It must be said that BlogHer is what YOU make of it and choose to take away from it.

Done.

Now I have a kind of embarrassing confession to make about LAST year’s conference. (I swear this totally relates to this year’s experience, so just hang with me for a second.) Last year I was either 1) delusional or 2) cocky and I kinda sorta inflated my “importance” as a blogger and was pretty sure most people would know me that the entire conference would be spent fending off my fans and having to deal with squeeing upon sight. Of me. Which, wow. I, uh, can’t believe I’m confessing this.

I just thought more people would know who I was and when I met people who didn’t know me, it felt weird and shamefully unexpected. There was that awkward silence after introductions and unless the other person was an ace conversationalist, there really wasn’t a conversation at all because I was unprepared for giving my spiel about my blog and most times I failed to remember to ask about their blog. I walked away from that conference unsure of myself, wondering why I continue to blog. I walked away from that conference humbled. It wasn’t that I didn’t meet great people or have fun! I did! It was just that my expectations were WAY off and that is what marred my experience.

To continue with my embarrassing confessions, last year I didn’t really understand that it was okay to miss some sessions. I mean, I PAID, I paid LOTS of money to attend, I HAD to attend the sessions, right?? Being studious and thirsty for knowledge meant that I missed out on lots of the behind the scenes stuff that went on.

This year was completely different and it was all because of my more realistic expectations of what to expect. Instead of expecting people to know who I was, I fully expected most people to NOT know me. Instead of focusing on me!, me!, me!, I went to the conference with the mantra, “don’t forget to ask them about themselves or their blog!” Instead of attending every session, I didn’t.

I got out of BlogHer what I put into it, I know I already mentioned that point, but it’s so important that it bears repeating. What I wanted out of the conference was to hang out with my friends and to make some new ones. Simple. And I’m so glad I allowed myself to do just that, rather than being a wallflower or worrying that people wouldn’t (or would) know who I was. Had my goal been to learn a ton about blogging, I would have been able to do that because the sessions were fabulous (or so I heard from many different people). If my goal was to make some contacts with PR people, I could have done that. All I would have had to do was try.

My experience started with a drive to Cincinnati to meet up with Shannan, Amy, Lu, and Andi to drive to Chicago sponsored by GM in a Chevy Traverse. A road trip with four friends was pretty much, um, awesome. Once in Chicago, and after getting lost, no thanks to Jane, Shannan’s GPS, or OnStar (darn tall building blocking satellite reception!), we ate at Dick’s Last Resort. Anyplace that hands out highly inappropriate hats and serves Big Ass beer is my kind of place. We proceeded to get lost again on the way to the Hyatt and the Social Luxe party, but whatevs, we eventually made it and scored some pretty fabulous swag (KODAK VIDEO CAMERA!!!!! It was so exciting I almost peed my pants!!!)

That night I helped host the People’s Party with Megan, Alli, Katie, Janet, and Jenny. (For those of you who helped stuff swag bags, THANK YOU, our party may have never actually started without your help. A single line in a blog post is not nearly enough of a thank you, so I hope that twoish lines will convey my appreciation.) I was so tired after the party, I stopped by the Room 704 party for just a few minutes. Luckily in those precious few minutes, I “got” to see a naked woman walk through the lobby, so that was, interesting.

The rest of the days were a blur. There was a session or two that I attended, the community keynote, which was utterly awe-inspiring. I attended the Nikon party and Mamapoprocks! and may have drank one or twenty seven alcoholic beverages. There was lots of giggling and very serious conversations (note the sarcasm), many a photo was taken, but not with my camera because I, welllllll, I don’t actually know why. I got to eat some great food, drink THE BEST glass of orange juice of my life, see the Budweiser Clydesdales, and fall over dead at the “sale prices” at Nordstroms on Michigan Avenue. Eventually at some point I completely lost my ability to stay awake.

I didn’t get to meet every person I meant to meet, but with merely 3-4 days and 1500 people, meeting everyone was impossible. I didn’t make it to every party I wanted to attend, but sleep did win out eventually. I didn’t get to talk long enough with too many people, but the time! There was not nearly enough time! I didn’t get to see as much of Chicago as I’d have liked, but again there just wasn’t enough time.

What I did get to do was to hang out with some really great people and make some new friends. I spent time with people who made me laugh until my stomach hurt, people who made me think, people who were beautiful, and people with whom I consider my dearest friends.

(Photo credit: Shannan from Mommybits)

Did I mention that I got out of BlogHer what I put into it? Good.

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Everyone really means everyone

Written on June 9, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging, confession, playing along

I have this really strongly worded post in my drafts folder regarding my current feelings on blogging and all of my insecurities that seem like they are highlighted by blogging. It continues to darken my drafts folder rather than my front page for several reasons, one of which being MY INSECURITIES.

I’m guessing that if you’re going to BlogHer in Chicago this summer, especially if it’s your first time, you’re probably nervous.

1. What if nobody knows who I am?
2. What if nobody talks to me?
3. What am I going to wear?
4. What if I don’t get invited to any of the parties?

This will be my second time attending BlogHer and #1-3 all apply to ME, but I know, logically, that mostly my fears are just my little demon insecurities creeping in and attempting to sabotage me. Fear number 4, though, you’re covered because you’re already invited to a party, a party that I’m helping to host.

The People’s Party 2009
open-invite pre-BlogHer party
Thursday, July 23, 2009
8:30-11pm
Sheraton Chicago X (“Ten”)

~~~

Hosted by:

The Bloggess
Green Mom Review/ IzzyMom
Motherbumper
Mrs. Fussypants
Playgroups Are No Place For Children
Velveteen Mind

sproutlogo

crocs

gerber

disney_world_moms

smashies

pnn

one2onenetwork

3smartgirlz

chrismann

A private performance by Chris Mann, Share the love on his Fan Page!

The People’s Party is aptly named because it is for EVERYONE. I hope that when you read “everyone” you realize that “everyone” includes YOU. And you. And YoU. And yOU. It’s the perfect place to meet people, so that you’re not just sitting in your room, alone, watching p()rn in your PJ’s, scratching your butt, and eating an overpriced hamburger you ordered from room service.

What I need for you to do now, is go over to Megan’s place, and RSVP that you ARE coming to the Party, when you get back, we can chat about insecurities #1-3 (listed above.) Hurry back!

Did you RSVP??

Okay! {clap, clap} Let’s talk about our feeeeeeelings.

1. What if nobody knows who I am?

I’m SWEAR I’m not trying to scare you, but many of the people you’ll meet will have never heard of you, or your blog, or your Twitter name. That’s okay, though. I’d never heard of Amy in Ohio or Mommy Bits and they hadn’t heard of me until last BlogHer and now this year, I’m driving from Tennessee to Cincinnati and driving with them the rest of the way to Chicago. It’s like, we all became friends or something. Weird. I know.

If someone hasn’t heard of you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worth knowing. Introduce yourself to people and don’t be offended when they have no idea who you are.

2. What if nobody talks to me?

Okay, I swear AGAIN that I’m not trying to scare you, but you *might* have to talk to people first. I know it’s scary and all your insecurities start bubbling up in your throat and choking you at the mere thought of walking up to someone, sticking out your hand, and saying, “Hi. I’m Jennifer from Playgroups are no Place for Children.” The thing is, though, if you’re standing alone in the corner, it’s not very likely that someone is going to just come up and talk to you out of the goodness of their heart. That’s just not how it works.

Every year after BlogHer, there is a backlash against the “cliques.” With THAT many women (especially women), who rarely get to see one another, there are bound to be groups that form. Many of the so-called cliques are groups of women who’ve known each other for years, send one another Christmas and birthday cards, call one another on the phone. In other words, they have a HISTORY together. It’s natural for people to hang out with the people they already know, and usually they aren’t purposely leaving anyone out.

I promise you, though, that if you go up to people, introduce yourself, ask them questions about their blog and where they’re from, most people will AMAZINGLY talk to you. If you’re with a group who decides to go to dinner, say, “hey, mind if I come, too?” If they are not complete a-holes, they’ll say, “Of course you can!”

Something that I did last year with a group of people was to form a sort of support group and exchange cell numbers before leaving for the conference. That way I ALWAYS had someone to call if I was suddenly feeling like I had nobody to eat lunch with or to go to the free swag suites.

Remember that if you don’t make an effort, you will SO regret it when you get home. Take the chance, it will be worth it.

3. What am I going to wear?

Go read this post by OHMommy.

During the conference, I’ll probably be wearing simple tanks, t-shirts, jeans, and possibly a casual, flowy skirt. In the evenings, I’ll probably go fancier with a dress and some cute wedges. Last year, I felt TOTALLY underdressed at all the cocktail parties. I won’t be making the same mistake this year.

Anymore fears that I didn’t cover? Any questions?? I hope that you have RSVP’d by now for the People’s Party!! See you in Chicago.

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Where do I go from here?

Written on March 17, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging, my stream of consciousness, Quirky Me

I’m having a blogging crisis, of sorts.

Ever since writing about my son’s troubles at school recently, I’ve hesitated to say anything about him on this blog that could maybe even slightly give an impression that my son isn’t “normal.” Some of the comments and emails (way more emails than comments) I received as a result of saying that my son is difficult and has always been difficult really stung. It hurt and scared me to hear words like “Autism” and “Sensory Processing Disorder.”

I felt like I cheated Carson by not painting a complete picture of him, but my style of blogging is usually to just talk about the issue of the day and not include every single detail that one might possibly need to know to form a conclusion. Therefore, with the scant information I presented, several of you concluded that my son was somehow disordered.

I can see how you would come to that conclusion. If I were to have read that post, as someone who doesn’t live MY life, where I went on and on about how Carson has trouble with groups, he doesn’t like to be around too many kids, and that everything we’ve ever done has been a battle, well…I would have come to the conclusion that Carson needed some sort of professional help, that he was maybe autistic or sensory impaired or suffering from an anxiety disorder.

At this point, I’m not really sure what I should say about Carson and school. I don’t want to jinx the progress we’ve made (because everyone knows that sharing on a success on your blog immediately activates Murphy’s Law). Also, I really can’t take anymore advice.

I’m saturated and feeling overexposed.

I feel like I need to guard my son.

I feel like I need to guard my heart.

The other day I posted a picture of Carson with his hair in pigtails. Before publishing the photo, I considered whether or not this would embarrass Carson one day. Obviously, I went ahead and published it, but I’ve gone back and forth with myself, “hey it was pretty funny!” to “I should be ashamed at myself for posting a potentially embarrassing photo of my CHILD to get comments.”

Everyday there are hilarious things that my children do that would make BRILLIANT blog posts. The poop on the floor that someone tried to clean up with the mini vacuum, but luckily I intervened in time…The story of how the highlight of someone’s day was learning to pee behind a tree outside…The threatening to hit a certain unmentionable body part when they are angry, “I’m gonna hit my {redacted} if you make me eat lunch.”…

I don’t know anymore what I should and shouldn’t post. Will I embarrass them, overexpose them? Now that my children are no longer babies, there is no longer a clear line of what constitutes an appropriate, but still funny topic. A story about poop involving an infant: Funny! ALL infants have poop stories. A poop story about a three-year-old: funny…maybe, embarrassing…definitely. In no way do I want to exploit my children’s privacy and embarrassing moments for the sake of this stupid blog, for the sake of comments.

I shudder to think that my children would ever be angry with me for PUBLISHING for ALL the Interwebs to see on MY blog something that could potentially horrify them.

Something tells me that this is only going to get even more complicated as my children get older. I’m certain that Ella would be mortified if I talked about her getting her first period. Carson probably wouldn’t appreciate if I wrote in detail about his first hearbreak.

I mean, I’m supposedly a *GASP* mommyblogger. I’ve always blogged about my kids. (Most of the time) I love talking about them with all of you and hearing your experiences. But if I don’t talk about my kids , then what the hell do I talk about?!

There’s also this whole expectation about what you as readers expect when you read this blog. Playgroups are no place for children. A (mommy)blog about a mom who writes about her many moves, her two kids, silly marital strife stories, and pure nonsense. For awhile I wrote blog tips, but only on Saturdays because I didn’t want to annoy my readers who had no interest in the subject. I’d love to start talking about some of my other passions like photography and cooking, but I hesitate because “blogging experts” say that every different topic should be it’s own blog so as not to lose readers.

SIGH.

So I followed that advice. I started a recipe site about forever and an eon ago, but it’s just never felt like my home, THIS blog. I’ve considered beginning to post recipes with pictures, because I LIKE cooking, I LIKE photography, I LIKE photographs of food, and I LIKE to talk about those things, but haven’t because I didn’t want people to think I was just copying other people who’ve done the exact same thing.

Can you see why I’m having this blogging crisis?!

I fear the repercussions of talking about my kids and I fear venturing into new territories because I don’t have any NEW! and ORIGINAL! ideas.

Where do I go from here?

Even though I think that the name of this blog “Playgroups are no place for children” is frankly quite brilliant (if I do say so myself), I feel so boxed in by it. Every time I’m referred to as “Playgroupie” I want to barf. My kids are getting older and I haven’t been in a playgroup in a year and a half! The name, or really the BRAND of this blog, well…I just don’t know if it works for me anymore.

I don’t know if it is ME anymore.

What I really want to do is throw my hands up in the air and say, “Dammit! This blog may not be ME as much as it once was, but it is still MY blog. I can do whatever I want!” After more than two years of blogging, I think I’m finally in a place where I’m no longer really trying to grow my blog and gain readership, though if it happens, great! I do want to keep my readers, though, because I LIKE you. I really, really like you. It would be a shame to lose a bunch of readers because I decided to be ME.

Can I give myself permission to expand the content that I present on THIS site? Is it even allowed?

(This is officially the longest and most rambling post I’ve ever written. If you made it all the way to the end, I’d like to offer you a trophy.)

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Week in review, a la Forrest Gump

Written on February 11, 2009 by Jennifer in blogging, Pictures, Quirky Me, Randomness

On Sunday morning after BlissDom09 in Nashville, I sat alone in my hotel room watching Forrest Gump . Anytime that movie is on TV I get sucked in (which by the way happens with many movies including Love Actually, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Urban Cowboy *shut it*…). That movie is just such a masterpiece and I can’t resist the way the story intertwines with historic events. I probably should have been hanging out down in the lobby meeting people I hadn’t had the chance to meet or hugging new friends as they departed for the airport, but Forrest Gump and Jenn-ay won out.

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Remember that part in Forrest Gump after [SPOILER ALERT COMING in case you're that last person on Earth who hasn't seen the movie] Jenny leaves after their one night of s-e-x and Forrest just decides to start running? Yeah. That’s how I feel right now about my computer. “I just feel like runn-ang.” Away. I’m not sure what happens to me after these blogging conferences, which I have a BALL at, but afterwards I just feel like I need a break from all things interwebby.

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RANDOM ALERT! RANDOM ALERT! It’s not just blogging that makes me feel like running, it’s also a certain place of employment that frankly is going to be the death of me my husband.

And that’s all I have to say about that. Or rather that’s all I think I should say about that.

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Bloggers are like a box of chocolates, you never know who you’re going to meet and how awesome they will be. (That was cheesy wasn’t it?!?) For me, I don’t attend these conferences to LEARN, I attend these conferences to meet the best people in the world.

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You may have heard about the Elevator 13 (cue the music! dunh, dunh, dunnnh!). Thirteen of us very BRAVE bloggers, SURVIVED for 35 minutes (or 45 depending on who you ask) in BLAZING HEAT and SARDINE-LIKE conditions trapped in an elevator at The Hotel Preston during BlissDom.

Here are the other HEROES who were trapped with me.

VDog at VDog and Little Man
Heather at the Spohrs are Multiplying
Heather at Queen of Shake Shake
Emily at DesignHer Momma
Amy from Amy in Ohio
Hebba at Jeep Girl 17
Shannon at Mommy Bits
Ali at Blessed Tree House
Sandy at Organize with Sandy
Jenny from Mommin’ it Up
Dawn at Kaiser Alex
Courtney at Once a Month Mom

This whole thing has kind of become a pissing match between those of us trapped and the lackluster management at the Hotel Preston. Feel free to read the others’ posts about the incident, but that’s all I have to say about THAT.

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Remember in Forrest Gump when Forrest visits the White House and President Johnson and ends up showing him his butt? I tend to be the type that overshares, particularly when I’m nervous or have been drinking. More than one person heard about my sweaty pits. For that, I’m sorry.

Thanks to Kelly (Mrs. CPA) for offering to NOT post this picture, but due to my oversharing tendencies, I just couldn’t resist.

Just for the record, I’d only had ONE drink and was merely introducing myself.

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