Playgroups are No Place For ChildrenContest | Playgroups are No Place For Children

I’m not actually giving away my children, just a shirt

Jennifer — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 12:05:25 +0000

Cute kids wearing cute shirts, huh?

On any given day, I contemplate advertising my children on Craigslist, “Free to a good home!” (I’m mostly kidding.)

Those cute shirts they are wearing, though, I’m giving away a shirt of your choice from The Rocking Pony!

Clickity click right here to head over to the giveaway!

This is vacation

Jennifer — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:01:43 +0000

We’d been talking about our upcoming trip to the beach for weeks. In preparation, I’d read stories to Carson and Ella about beaches and watched the beachy episodes of Max and Ruby and Spongebob on On Demand. Though they had both been to the Gulf of Mexico when we lived in Mobile, they didn’t remember it despite the photographic evidence.

Everyday Carson and Ella asked, “Is today the day we go to vacation?”

“Not today,” we’d say, “Fifteen/five/two more sleeps until we leave.”

The big day finally came and Carson and Ella vibrated in anticipation from the backseat, packed between beach bags, beach towels, and sand toys. They took turns asking their questions.

“Daddy, are we there yet? Are we at the beach?”

“I wanna play beach!”

“Are there going to be crabs at the beach? I don’t want to eat crabs, but I will eat duck.” (I don’t know!)

“This isn’t going to be a bummer vacation! This is going to be a summer vacation! (Thanks Spongebob.)

“I’m gonna build a sand castle!”

“Is this the beach, Mommy? Where is the beach?”

Finally, over 7 hours later, we arrived in Isle of Palms, SC.

“Is this vacation?” Carson asked, eyes wide in anticipation. The sand and Atlantic ocean in all it’s Bill fueled glory lay sprawled in front of us.

Carson nearly sprinted to the water’s edge, his first (to be remembered) trip to the ocean. Ella took the sight of the ocean in stride, not understanding the significance of what lay ahead. For several minutes they were both content to simply stare ahead as the waves ebbed and flowed.

A few feet past the water’s edge, Ella stepped, but was immediately startled by the force of the incoming waves. It was Carson’s turn to take the experience in stride. Eventually both children hungrily anticipated each wave as it came to shore. As the waves chased them, they’d run inland, other times they’d meet each crash head on.

“Can I get in?” Carson asked hopefully. Despite the red flag and threat of rip currents, the ocean was filled with swimmers both old and young. Tate knowing my usual stance on getting clothes needlessly dirty, explained to Carson that we needed to wait until we put on swim suits.

Carson, tried, he really tried, to stay dry. The weeks of buildup, talking about the joy of swimming in the ocean, eventually beat out his underdeveloped obedient side. He pretended to accidentally fall into the water.

“It’s okay,” I smiled at Carson reassuringly. “This is vacation.”

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The Knoxville Twestival 2009 is coming up on Thursday, Sept. 10th from 7-10 PM at the Knoxville Zoo. This great event is being held to raise money for the Salvation Army of Knoxville. It will be a great night filled with music, fun, a silent auction, and BEER(!!) and it’s all for a great cause. (To check for Twestivals in your area, check out the Global Twestival site.)

I have two pairs of tickets (four total) to give away to a local East Tennessee reader. To win, leave a comment telling me your favorite East Tennessee restaurant. Make sure you leave your name and a valid email address. I’ll randomly choose one winner on Tuesday, September 1.

Non-local readers, feel free to just comment because you like me.

The announcement of the winner of the Lisa Leonard giveaway was delayed because I was being held hostage by Sunshine and her friend Warmth

Jennifer — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:26:37 +0000

Sorry it’s taken so long to announce the winner of my Lisa Leonard giveaway last week. I promised to announce the winners on Friday, but this giant orb named Sunshine forced me out of my home and away from my computer. She and her friend, Warmth, held me hostage for the past FOUR DAYS outside.

So the winners of the giveaway are…

Someone Being Me!

And Ragtop Day!

Congratulations to the two VERY lucky winners!

Giveaway Day! This contest is over!

Jennifer — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:00:44 +0000

I don’t host giveaways very often, actually ever, with the exception of this past November when I hosted giveaways for my 2 year blogging anniversary.

When Lisa Leonard herself from Lisa Leonard Designs asked me if I’d be interested in hosting a giveaway of her jewelry, I knew that it would be UNFAIR to deprive all of you of this AWESOME opportunity.

Lisa Leonard Designs offers beautifully unique, hand-stamped, personalized jewelry.

For this giveaway, Lisa is offering TWO $50 gift certificates to her jewelry store!

To enter the giveaway, all you have to do is visit her online store, Lisa Leonard Designs, and tell me in the comments section how you would spend the $50!

Comments for this giveaway will remain open until Friday morning at 7 AM EST. I’ll announce the winners here on Friday!!

Comments are closed! Thanks for playing!

Well, that’s done

Jennifer — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:36:10 +0000

I have been sick all day, the kind of sick that I’d rather not gross you all out with. I have a theory that finishing THAT book made me physically ill, as my symptoms appeared but a mere two hours after finishing it.

I jest, I jest, I don’t really think it was THAT book that made me sick, but in I did finish Twilight yesterday and I guess what I have to say about it is this:

“Well, that’s done.”

I suppose that I can see how some people enjoy the storyline and think that Edward is the cat’s meow. The story (and Edward) really had so much potential and therein lies my disappointment with the book.

The hype about this book (and the whole series) has just been so over the top that I really expected it to all ring true and to ADORE this book as much as so many of you. But the writing? It was so juvenile, and YES, I realize it was initially a book written for teens, but so was Harry Potter and that writing WAS NOT juvenile.

And since this book is a teen book, it was missing a huge, necessary-to-the-storyline, MAJOR detail.

Edward and Bella should have done the horizontal mambo. I NEEDED them to get it on. I kept waiting for it and hoping for it. If I were a 17 year old boy, I’d tell you that I finished that book with a raging case of blue balls.

I’ve struggled all day with what grade I’d give this book and think I’ve decided that I give it a “C-.”

If anyone would like to read it, I’d be happy to send it to you to read with the promise that you WON’T blame me for the sucky plot, lame dialogue, and lack of sex.

Just leave a comment that you’d like to me to send you the book and I’ll choose one questionably lucky winner sometime this week. (I’ll be really busy moving into my BRAND NEW HOUSE so I don’t know exactly when I’ll be able to choose a winner.)

The Wicked Witch of W@lmart

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:00:07 +0000

Two things that I’m not particularly fond of are 1) grocery shopping WITH my children AND 2) grocery shopping at W@lmart. I know perfectly nice people (like me) shop at W@lmart, but there are definitely quite a few odd ducks that shop there, too. I’d just much rather shop at a grocery store, where odd duck encounters are few and far between. In fact, I currently live in a grocery store mecca. Within five miles of me, there are four different gourmet-ish (I made up that word) grocery stores. These stores are GORGEOUS! and NEW! and they serve coffee! and have a sushi bar! and expensive cheese! and sadly they are brutal budget killers.

Thusly, I shop at W@lmart.

Yesterday while moping through W@lmart, nervously keeping my eyes on my son, and trying to navigate around swarms of people, we happened upon an elderly woman. She looked kind and sweet, and frankly out of place in a store like W@lmart. She smiled warmly at me, as I tried to push my cart out of her way.

“Carson,” I said, “stand over here by Mommy so the lady can get by.”

The elderly women pushed her cart passed us, then bent down to say something to Carson, pointing an arthritic finger in his face while her faced suddenly changed expressions.

“Carson,” she nearly cackled, “You better stay by your mommy or…,” she paused dramatically, “the WICKED WITCH WILL GET YOU.”

Carson and I stared at her in disbelief. I was struck dumb and couldn’t think of any equally as hostile retort, other than, “come on Carson, let’s go this way.”

I still can’t wrap my brain around someone saying that to a little kid! Was this something acceptable when she was raising kids in the Middle Ages?

I dare say, this would only happen at W@lmart. (And certainly not at my estranged boyfriend’s place, Meijer.)

(On a side note, have you seen this W@lmart Bingo card? SO FUNNY!)

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Today’s FINAL Reader Appreciation giveaway comes from Fruition Designs!

Karla from Fruition Designs is offering up a printable version of holiday or mommy cards!!

To enter, just leave a comment!!

Comments will close at 7 AM, EST, November 23, 2008.

Congratulations to T with Honey, winner of the Build a Bear Workshop gift certificate and Mom24, winner of the Sassafras Kids Pizza Making Kit!

Comments closed, thanks for playing!!

There are worms everywhere

Jennifer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:00:30 +0000

I filled out a job application yesterday for my former school district here in Tennessee.

For some reason, with all that’s going on in my life, starting a job after THREE years at home with my children suddenly seems like a good idea. I mean I have NOTHING ELSE going on right now AT ALL.

(Except for the fact that we just moved, we close on our house in one week, I have ZILLIONS of things to do for the closing, once moved in I’ll have to unpack my entire house in lightning speed to get ready for Christmas, CHRISTMAS HOLY CRAP IT’S IN A MONTH, A MONTH!, Christmas shopping, Christmas decorating, Christmas parties, Christmas baking, and finding childcare because I’m GOING BACK TO WORK.)

I feel a little like yakking in the bathroom.

Three months ago, I’d have never dreamed that I’d be sitting in my kitchen in TENNESSEE, filling out an application for a JOB. Yet, here I am, filling out a job application, talking to my future boss on the phone about the schools that need a speech pathologist and the hours I’d work.

Originally, being a stay-at-home mom was something that I thought I’d do until the kids were in Kindergarten. Eventually, I pushed the timing back to *maybe* junior high. I’ve never even left my kids with a babysitter. But the thing is, I really think I NEED this.

The universe is on my side (so far) on this, too. Every time we’ve moved before, I’ve had to jump through about a gazillion hoops to get a teaching certificate. I recently discovered that my Tennessee teaching certificate is still valid, so there are NO HOOPS. Several of my former co-workers have emailed me and told me how desperately they are in need of Speech Pathologists. Randomly at a birthday party last weekend, I ran into a special education preschool teacher who begged me to come back to work. I was pulling my hair out in frustration trying to answer specific questions about the number of semester hours I’ve completed for the job application and realized that my mom works in Admissions at my former university and can get me all that information.

You have chills now, don’t you? I KNOW! It’s like I’m being guided by some unknown force into returning to work.

I really don’t think I have a choice.

But it doesn’t mean that opening this can of worms isn’t also opening an enormous ulcer.

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Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway is yet another way the universe is telling me that it’s time to return to work. Well, sort of, if you think really, really, really hard about it.

Who’d like to win a brand new laptop messenger bag from Tom Bihn.com, exactly like the one below…

One lucky winner will win that laptop messenger bag!! Tom Bihn has lots of great bags, messenger bags, laptop bags, backpacks, briefcases, to choose from! I’m thinking that I’m going to NEED a new bag for work!

To enter, leave a comment on this post!!

Comments on this post will close at 7 AM, EST, November 22, 2008.

Comments closed, Thanks for Playing!

When the husband’s away, the wife will spend his money

Jennifer — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:00:25 +0000

I feel safe telling you now that he’s on his way home*, that Tate has been on vacation this past week. And when I say vacation, I’m referring to the type of vacation that took him away from home for 6 days, enjoying the bliss known as being “child-free.” It was a full-on MAN vacation filled with bows and arrows and farting, so although I could have come along, I decided to take my chances with the kids.

I really don’t want to be THAT wife, the one who’s jealous and not supportive, the MARTYR. Considering that I’m going on 6 solo days of parenting, in an increasingly crappy rental, fresh from a move that I wasn’t too jazzed about, I think I’m handling his vacation rather well. Oops, there I go, being the martyr.

Anyway, several times Tate has called while on his CHILD-FREE vacation, complaining about something. My poor eyes have nearly rolled out of my head with his moaning. Seriously, who calls the spouse who’s SINGLE PARENTING to complain about their vacation!? Oh right, Tate did that. Tate, the one who promised to “love and cherish” me, not “leave me alone while he’s goes on vacation, only to call and COMPLAIN.” Oops, and there I go again with that darned martyrdom.

He’s also called a few times with MY honey-do list, because apparently taking care of two toddlers alone for 6 days leaves me with ample time to do grunt work. Before arriving home, I’m supposed to have done something about calling somebody, but I can’t remember because, uh oh!, I wasn’t listening. I’m also supposed to find recipes for persimmons (what???), but gosh darn if the Internet wasn’t down (*eyes roll straight outta my head*).

And since I’m so good at not being THAT martyr wife, I did what any good wife would do. I went shopping. Certainly 6 single parenting days earned me a some new shirts a pair darling little flats, and some EXPENSIVE makeup from Sephora.

*Just in case you’re a creepy Internet stalker and thinking that you’ve got a small window of time to come over before Tate gets home, I think it’s only fair that I tell you about my Rottweiler named Jeffrey Dahmer.

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/snark

Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway is from Good for the Kids!

Angie from Good for the Kids is offering….drumroll…..

A $50 gift certificate for today’s giveaway!! $50!!! $50!!!!!

To enter, check out Good for the Kids and tell me how you’d spend your winnings (and feel free to comment on the above post, too).

Comments on this post will close at 7 AM, EST, November 21, 2008.

Comments Closed! Thanks for playing!

One way to get your toddler to eat breakfast

Jennifer — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:00:01 +0000

PICTURE REMOVED

Carson has started eating breakfast while standing on an empty tote at the kitchen counter. Sure it’s a pain in the rump to clean up, but I DON’T CARE. I’m just happy that he’s eating.

Thank you all so much for all the truly useful advice you all offered me a few weeks ago concerning Carson’s dismal eating habits. I’ve definitely cut down on milk and snacks, and have tried to be all, “Oh I don’t care what you eat! Fine with me if all you have all day is one cheerio and two sips of water! Noooo problem! It’s fine, really. Fine!”

His eating IS getting better. Baby steps, baby steps.

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Today’s Reader Appreciation giveway comes from Sassafras, which sells all kinds of gourmet housewares, baking kits, and children’s toys and accessories!

Sassafras is offering one lucky winner a kid’s pizza making kit! This would be a great Christmas gift for your budding chef! And what a terrific way to get your kids’ involved in the kitchen!

To enter, just leave a comment on this post and cross your fingers that you’re the big winner!

Comments will be closed on this entry at 7 AM, EST, November 20, 2008.

Bonus!!! Sassafras is also offering 10% off of all orders for YOU, my readers, with the code PLAYGROUP!!

Comments closed!!! Thanks for playing everyone!

The contents of my purse. The stolen post.

Jennifer — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:00:22 +0000

I’ve stolen the idea for this post from Ali. I’m hoping that the extradition to Canada to face her wrath will be too complicated and she’ll forgo prosecution.

So now that we’ve gotten the fact that I’m a thief out of the way, I’d like to show you the contents of my purse. You’ll be pleased to know that none of the contents of my purse were stolen.

C.O. Bigelow Lemon Hand Treatment (LOVE!), 2 tubes of C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint (I’ve already talked about my love of these), 2 tubes of Lip Smackers (flashback: 1987), 3 packages of peanut butter crackers, a USB cord, 100 calorie pack of Lorna Doone cookies (they’re FOR THE KIDS!), my name tag from Blissdom ’08, small bottle of 50 SPF Coppertone, Jessie Baylin CD (LOVE her!), trash, crumbs (not pictured), my cell phone, a maxi pad, an old grocery list, 3 coupons that are worthless, Skip Hop diaper caddy, my wallet, {***GIFT CERTIFICATE TO BUILD A BEAR!!!!!!****}, USB flash drive, baby nail clippers, 1 Germ-X hand wipe, 2 Dentabursts, a going away card from her, All About Trains DVD (what? don’t you carry DVDs in your purse?), my business cards, the formula from Aveda to color my hair, a juice box, a box of raisins, spare contact case, contact lens solution.

One of these items is today’s Reader Appreciation Giveaway…

Can you guess which one?? I mean, it’s not {***OBVIOUS***} or anything.

Well just in case you need a little help…here’s one more HINT.

Have you all seen their new Christmas Moose (or is it Meese?)…Holly and Hal? SO cute.

To enter to win the $25 gift certificate to Build a Bear Workshop, leave a comment telling me whether your purse is as random as mine!

Comments will close at 7 AM, EST, November, 19, 2008.

Don’t forget you can still enter the nonny & boo $50 gift certificate giveaway until tomorrow morning! Who new that the timing of this giveaway would be so perfect in the light of the Motrin ad fiasco and babywearing mamas….

This contest is over, comments closed!! Thanks for playing!!