Entries Tagged as 'Extended Fam'

Apple Butter Battle

We spent this past weekend attending a family reunion in Missouri.  There were lots of lowlights from the trip including (but not limited to), Ella’s diarrhea, Ella’s vomiting, cockroaches in the bathroom of our cabin, and a verrrrrry cranky and sleep deprived Carson.

Despite the lowlights, though, there were also many highlights.  One of these highlights was the acquisition of some homemade apple butter.

I LOVE apple butter!  LOVE!

Imagine my disappointment when we got home and discovered that the lid of the jar of my beloved apple butter had “popped.”  (You know those home canning jars with the ring and the lid…well, it wasn’t sucked down, it was popped.)

Trying to head off certain botulism poisoning, I sadly decided the apple butter would have to be tossed in the trash.

Tate WHOLEHEARTEDLY disagreed.  “NO, no, no, no, no.  We are NOT throwing it away.  Let’s smell it,”  he said, trying to convince me that this not-properly-sealed apple butter was fine for human consumption.

I have NO IDEA if botulism or any other death-inducing food disease even has an odor, so smelling it wasn’t going to change my mind.  I stood firmly behind my decision to throw out the apple butter.

Tate STILL disagreed.  “See?  It tastes fine!”  he said after dipping his finger in the diseased apple butter.  “I bet it was made just a few days ago, we’re keeping it!”

“Fine, Tate.  Keep it.  I don’t care if it was made this morning, I won’t eat it!  And!  I don’t want the kids to eat it either, because it will make them SICK.”

Very often, Tate and I disagree about food safety issues.  He has no problem (barely) reheating food that has been in the fridge for DAYS.  I won’t touch leftovers after about two or three days.  If food has been sitting out for too long, I won’t eat it, but Tate would probably eat potato salad that had been sunbathing for three hours.  He regularly gets annoyed by my “overzealous” and “ridiculous” attempts to keep my family free of food-borne diseases.

What do you think?   Should we keep the apple butter or throw it away?

(PS, I’m merely curious as to what you think.  Unless you have a Ph.D in Food Safety, you probably aren’t going to change my mind.)

Tags: Ask Teh Internets, Extended Fam, Quirky Me, hole-y matrimony, jennifer and tate battle by Jennifer
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Daphne, She’s the Hot One, Right? Then I Want to Be Daphne

Tate is completely incapable of keeping my Christmas gifts a secret.  Ever since the beginning of our relationship, I’ve somehow figured out what my gifts were going to be.  Not only do I have extensive detective training from all my years of watching Scooby Doo, but Tate is a bumbling idiot when it comes to hiding the evidence of his purchases.

So far this year, I’ve found out that I’m getting a calendar which was delivered by the UPS man in a box with the words CALENDARS.COM in big! bold! letters.   Usually when Tate orders something online for me, he gives me a heads up and tells me not to pick up any of the packages left by the UPS man.  This year he forgot.

The other night when I was wrapping presents (I went ahead and wrapped my calendar *rolls eyes*), I needed to look under the bed for more boxes.  Guess what I found?  That’s right, Scooby, I found another one of my gifts, a digital frame keychain.     Tate won this keychain at his company’s annual Christmas party, but he’s trying to pass it off as a gift he went out and purchased himself.  Apparently he’s forgotten about my super sleuth skills (the gift had a sticker that made it obviously a company gift.)  This gift luckily is accompanied by a funny story, so that in the future I can say things like, “remember the year you regifted that keychain to me, your wife?”  By the way, I went ahead and wrapped this gift, too.

A few weeks ago, Tate was on the phone with his mother when he came into the living room and attempted to non-chalantly pick up the Land’s End catalog.  In a very exaggerated tone, I heard him say to his mom, “I wanted to talk to you about Carson’s gift….,” then in hushed tones in the other room, I heard him say,”Okay, I really wanted to tell you about the things Jennifer wants out of Land’s End.”  My detective skills are really being put to the test.  Gee, I wonder what I’ll be getting from my in-laws?  Hmmm. 

Last year, I found the post-it note with all his purchases stuck on the inside of our desk drawer….a drawer I used most everyday.  Other years, I’ve been reconciling the checkbook and come across purchases at stores like The Limited and Ann Taylor.  It doesn’t take Velma to figure out that he’s purchased something at these women’s stores for me.  Even my engagement ring wasn’t a surprise, since the jeweler left a message on our answering machine saying the ring was ready for pickup.

I’m hoping that I’ll at least get one complete surprise, even if it’s a cheesy coffee cup.

What are you getting for Christmas?

Tags: Extended Fam, Men?, hole-y matrimony by Jennifer
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Thou Shalt Consume Ovaltine is in the Appendix of the Ten Commandments

Last week when Carson was sick, the only thing I could get him to drink was milk with chocolate malt Ovaltine. It’s yummy deliciousness kept my boy nourished with it’s vitamins! and minerals!

Now that he is well, he spends hours each day demanding “more Ovaltine, please” which sadly is spoken at ear piercing volumes and without the “please” part. To do list for tomorrow: Begin weaning process from Ovaltine.

With all this Ovaltine consumption happening in our home, Tate and I got to talking about drinking it as a kid. Actually, I drank it as a kid, but Tate swears that he did not ever have Ovaltine until just last week when I bought it for Carson. Let me repeat, he did not ever have Ovaltine until JUST LAST WEEK. Just. Last. Week.

I informed Tate that this was just not possible. Not having Ovaltine as a child is downright blasphemous and dare I say it, un-American. I did have the utmost respect for my Mother-in-law prior to learning this information, but now I am starting to wonder just what kind of a Mother deprives their child of the rich chocolately goodness that is Ovaltine. Yes it has lots of sugar, I know, but it also has vitamins! and minerals! And it’s delicious.

Help Tate and I settle our dispute. EVERYONE has had Ovaltine, am I right? Please tell me that you’ve had it and that you’ve given it to your children. Also, send any Ovaltine weaning tips my way.

Tags: Extended Fam, Little Monkeys, Men?, jennifer and tate battle by Jennifer
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You Can’t Say I Don’t Know How to Party

I bet you’re dying to know the fun that ensued here at the house of Playgroupie this past holiday weekend. Sure, it’s usually a weekend of honoring veterans, fun and sun, and bar-b-ques. We decided to be unique and have our own fun.

No, we are not mature. We looked up “dirty” words at thefreedictionary.com. What fun it is to hear the computer pronounce words like ass, slut, butt, whore, and poop. Fifth graders around the nation would have loved this!

Yes, we’re giant nerds. We also spent lots of time at Terra Server, looking up every single address where we’ve ever lived. Hours and hours of fun. Dungeon masters around the nation would have loved this!

We have deep thoughts. While eating at Sonic, we noticed their slogan…America’s favorite drive-in. This led us to wonder, are their any Sonic’s in Canada, the U.K., or Australia? Internets…help us with this very important question!

When there’s nothing on TV, leave it to the Style Network to have and Extreme Makeover marathon! Neon white teeth, new boobs, laser zit removal and amazing transformations! Woo hoo!

While listening to our CD’s on “random”, we came to the realization that our music is completely inappropriate for a home with small children. “God Damn” by Alice in Chains or anything by Rage Against the Machine is not the best choice of music for a mimic-happy 19 month old. But, listening to the Sesame Street CD is completely inappropriate for weary parents of a 19 month old tantrum happy boy and a COLICKY baby.

That’s right, you didn’t misread. Colic. Mother f*cker. More on that tomorrow…I’m currently trying to decrease the number of “f” words in the post to make it somewhat more reader friendly.

And last, but not least…Have any of you seen the show, Scarred on MTV? If not, don’t start. If you have, what on Earth are those people thinking? It was such a sick show, I wanted to look away, I really did…but I COULDN’T. I still have the heebie jeebies.

Hope you all had a more exciting weekend than us.

Tags: Extended Fam, Randomness by Jennifer
24 Comments »

Swallowing a Huge Bite of Humble Pie

Remember this post where I worried about how I would let go of my need for things being done my way?

Yeah, I guess you could say that being knocked on your ass has a way of making you appreciate every bit of help people offer.

My in-laws drove all night to be here to care for Peanut so that I wouldn’t have to worry about him being cared for. They are staying until after the baby is born. They could be here for over 3 weeks. I couldn’t have made it these past few days without them.

My kitchen linen drawer is not organized, nor are any of my cabinets. The dishwasher is being loaded “incorrectly”. Peanut is a little off of his schedule.

Guess what? I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.

My MIL, who is just spectacular, has cooked, cleaned, tended to my family, and changed some king-size crap diapers. And she hasn’t complained or criticized one time.

I am so lucky to have this great support at a time that I so very much need it. This experience has made me swallow these petty control issues. Suddenly nested tupperware bowls seem insignificant.

Peanut is being well cared for. That is all that really matters.

I’m off now to eat a slice of my freshly baked humble pie.

Tags: Extended Fam, Lucky Me by Jennifer
29 Comments »

Wedding gifts

My cousin Ann is getting married in a few weeks. I’ve been perusing her numerous gift registries and have found the same gifts on each one. When asked why she has so many repeats, she replied that she did this so that her guests would have ample places to shop and she didn’t want random gifts. Oh Ann, darling, there’s really nothing you can do to stop the horror of random gifts. It reminds me of a wedding just five years ago….

My coworkers hosted a shower for myself and a second grade teacher, Miss R,that was also to be married that summer. Seeing as I’m “just” the speech teacher, I wasn’t on the same friendship level as Miss R was with the other teachers. It was obvious that the gifts that were purchased for me were because they felt obligated. It was totally embarrassing to open my gifts next to Miss R’s gifts. Here’s a sample a the “gifts” I received.

1. XL negligee. I was heavier then, but by no stretch of the imagination have I ever been XL. Mystery was solved when I returned the XL negligee. I was given $1 in exchange.

2. Set of dishes. Fine enough gift, except that I’d registered for 2 OTHER sets of dishes. Four coworkers went in together to get this for me. Gee, when returned, I got $10 in exchange ($2.50/person), how thoughtful!

3. Dollywood teacup, complete with candle. Hmmm, at the time of the shower (April), Dollywood had been closed all winter and didn’t open until May.

Before I get booed and hissed at for seeming snobby, let me say that I do realize it’s the thought that counts. With that said, obviously they didn’t think very much of me. How embarrassing!

On a sidenote, my most favorite wedding gift I received was not on my registry. It was a set of three Sorrento bowls that I absolutely LOVE. So Ann, not all random gifts turn out badly! Of course, it’ll be hard to get gifts worse than mine!

Tags: Extended Fam by Jennifer
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