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The Good: A Year in Review

Written on December 21, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Little Monkeys, Pictures

I still feel raw and tender after last Friday’s horrific school shooting in Newtown, CT. It’s not okay. How will it ever be okay again? And the only thing I lost was a sense that my kids are safe at school.

Those kids. Those babies. Those teachers, heroes, police officers, parents.

It’s really too much to bear, isn’t it?

My children are 5 1/2 and 7 years old. I don’t want to let my mind go there, but away it goes. I can’t stop the thoughts and the terror. I can’t stop imagining.

This rock-you-to-the-core tragedy has made me hold my babies tighter. It shouldn’t take a tragedy to force me to realize that I should savor every moment of their precious lives.

Our family has had a great year, a really great year. Carson and Ella are kids suffering from the typical ups and downs of growing up, they have made me want to pull my hair out and scream and they have made me so proud. These moments with them are what life is supposed to be. Between Ella’s freak out sessions nearly every morning over what jacket and boots to wear, Carson’s sass that rivals any 14-year-old, ear infections, flu, lost Wii time, and dinnertime battles, there are big things and little things that I can look back on this past year and celebrate.

I love this age, this perfect early elementary school age where they have actual conversations about there life that is separate from our life at home. They are learning to read and they still believe in Santa, but they are also beginning to reason. I love their emerging independence, but I love that they still need me.

Carson has discovered geometry. Three-dimensional shapes have captured his imagination, as he could sit for hours drawing spheres, cones, and pyramids.

Ella started Kindergarten this year. To be honest, I was worried about how she would handle the rigors of Kindergarten, this girl who would still nap if there was enough time in the day, but she’s having a great year. Her teacher says she’s right where she needs to be, reading words, writing sentences, and studying geometry like Carson.

Getting Mae, our WILD puppy has shown me a whole new side to Carson and Ella. They have shown me a side of themselves that is so caring and responsible, helping to feed her and let her outside. We’ve all had to learn a lot (A LOT!!) of patience, but I think adding Mae to our family has added something only a new family member can add.

One of the highlights of this year was taking Carson and Ella to Destin last October. Everything about the trip was great, the weather, the food, the good company, the condo, the Gulf’s sun and surf….EVERYTHING. The best part was watching Carson and Ella play for hours together along the shore, building things out of sand, chasing each other, and laughing–there was so much laughing! If I could have bottled up the trip, I would have. The only thing missing from our trip was Tate, it was too bad he had to miss out on all the fun.

We spent our summer on the lake, swimming until we were ravenous for lake sandwiches. I lost count of the number of bottles of sunscreen we used, but it was somewhere in the range of five to A BUNCH. Noodles and life jackets were our must-have accessories for the summer.

It only took FOREVER, but Carson and Ella went to their first St. Louis Cardinals game at Busch Stadium. We bought overpriced souvenirs and ate hot dogs and Cracker Jacks. It was perfect, well, except for the fact that the Cardinals lost.

Carson and Ella have FINALLY begun to learn the art of sleeping in. We’ve had a year of Friday night movie nights and wrestling matches. Our backyard became a campground during the summer and fall, where we made s’mores and slept under the stars.

The thing from this year that I’ll most hold onto, though, is that Carson and Ella both reach out to hold my hand after school. As we walk back to our car after school, they don’t hesitate or worry what their friends will think if they’re caught holding my hand. Any day now they could decide that they’re too cool or grown up to hold my hand, so each day I get hold their hands is a gift.

Every day with them is a gift.

Every day with them is good.

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this past year. I’m so honored that I was chosen to share my stories as a Hallmark ambassador in 2012. While I am compensated for my work, all stories are original and true.

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The Fortuitous Finding of Wheel of Fortune

Written on November 26, 2012 by Jennifer in Extended Fam, Hallmark, Pictures

It all started with my kids first ever episode of Wheel of Fortune. Wheel! of! Fortune!

It’s our family’s tradition. Every year I search the TV listings to find all of our favorite holiday shows. Frosty the Snowman kicked off this season and while we were waiting in front of the fire, with hot chocolate in hand for it to start (another part of our yearly tradition), we watched Wheel of Fortune.

Carson and Ella were enthralled!

“You mean, there’s a game on TV where you guess letters and WIN REAL MONEY?!?”

In between wowing them with my unbelievable puzzle solving skills (“How did you KNOW that, Mom!!!”), I told them about my summers as a kid where I’d go spend at week at my aunt and uncle’s house in Oklahoma City. Part of the tradition of my visits was to watch Wheel of Fortune every night after dinner and then take their dog, Vanna (yes, really), for a walk up the street to get frozen yogurt.

Carson has mentioned before that he thinks it would be awesome if we lived closer to family. Both kids would love to be able to spend a week during the summer at Uncle James and Aunt Melissa’s house, watching Wheel of Fortune and eating frozen yogurt. We’d love if someday their cousin, Riley, could come visit us for a week in the summer. For now, though, we live too far away and they’re still a bit too young for that to happen.

I worry a lot about my kids feeling like our extended family members are strangers and vice versa. It takes a lot of effort, but as often as we can, we drive the 500 miles to visit. We try to FaceTime every weekend. On holidays even when we can’t be there, we talk about Aunt Kate and Nanny and Papa and Nana and Paw Paw and James, Melissa, and Riley.

But it’s not the same as living close by.

I went up to the attic to search for my old Wheel of Fortune board game. I could picture it stowed away in one of many plastic totes, saved from elementary school days and later used during speech and language therapy sessions with my students. After searching a few totes, I finally found it, but underneath it, I found a true treasure.

I found this:

It’s a birthday card from my Papa, sent to me sometime around 1991 I’m guessing since the stamps were 29 cents. It’s a first generation (probably?) recordable Hallmark card. The battery is dead, but I remember that the message said something like, “Happy birthday Jenny! Sorry we won’t be there, but we’ll see you Easter.”

He passed away several years ago, so I haven’t heard his voice in years. Even though the card isn’t actually working, the memory of his voice came back to me. I can remember exactly the way his voice hesitated during the message and how as soon as I heard it, I knew it was something I’d save forever.

Now I just need to find a battery….

A few weeks ago, Hallmark sent me an “Until We Hug Again” recordable bunny. It’s been sitting on a shelf for the past few weeks while I tried to figure out exactly what I would do with it and who would be the lucky recipient, but after finding Papa’s card, I know exactly who’s getting her.

I’m going to have Ella and Carson record a message for their cousin, Riley. We’re going to tell her how much we love her and wish that we could see her everyday.

We want her to know us, even if we’re 500 miles away.

I’m really glad we stumbled upon Wheel of Fortune the other night.

A HUGE thank you to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. While I am compensated for my work, all stories are original and true.

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Turtles and Bumblebees of Halloweens Past

Written on October 30, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Little Monkeys

Last Friday night, I worked a local trick-or-treating event, handing out candy. Ella and Carson came along and sat beside my booth and watched as droves of costumed children trick-or-treated along the trail.

They announced nearly every child as they approached, a kind, snark-free version of Fashion Police.

“Look! It’s Ironman!”

“I like your zombie costume!”

“Mommy! It’s Thomas! We have that costume.”

“What’s a crash test dummy?”

“Another Batman, like me, Mom!”

“Hey! That girl’s a butterfly!”

Later that night, we talked about all the costumes we saw and recalled our costumes from Halloween past. They were shocked to find out that even I used to dress up when I was a kid.

“You mean, they had Halloween all the way back then? Was that when George Washington was president?” Carson asked. Kids, man.

I told them about my angel costume and pioneer costume that my mom had sewed for me. They were really impressed that Nanny had made my costumes since I prefer the easy way out with shopping. I also told them about all the years that I dressed up as Madonna.

“What’s Madonna,” asked Ella.

I searched through old photos of them dressed up for Halloween and we spent a cold and rainy afternoon looking at all of their costumes.

Carson, only three days old on his first Halloween, didn’t really get in the holiday spirit. By his second Halloween, he was quite adorable dressed as a baby bumblebee.

Ella’s first Halloween: A Pumpkin. Carson dressed as a baseball player, but I can’t find any pictures! (Bad Mommy!)

Ella: A darling, but fierce lion. Carson: Thomas the Train.

This may have been my favorite year, when Carson and Ella dressed up as Mario and Luigi. It was also the last year that they let me choose their costumes.

Ella: Raphael, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, a costume she randomly picked, but loved with every fiber of her being. She truly embodies the ninja spirit, don’t you think? Carson: Lightning McQueen

This year’s costumes took months of planning and thought to choose. Costume catalogs arrived in the mail sometime at the end of August and both children pored over the book, dog-earing pages. Costume selection has been serious business. Ella wanted to be a horse, then she wanted to be a My Little Pony specifically, but she also wanted to be Sonic the Hedgehog. Carson waffled between the Sonic costume and Batman. Oh the agony of final decisions! In the end, Ella went with Sonic and Carson went with Batman, but not without moments of regret.

They’re already planning next Halloween’s costumes.

“Maybe you could sew us something like Nanny did when you were a kid?”

Kids, man.

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. While I am compensated for my work, everything I write is original stories from my life.

Check out Hallmark’s adorable Scooby Doo Interactive Storybuddy and their Shadows and Shrieks witches hat door decor this Halloween season. They’re even offering a 30% discount using code BLOG30 on your order from Hallmark.com!

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Summer is Where My Heart Is

Written on September 24, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Quirky Me

According to the calendar, fall officially arrived last Saturday. I guess that I like fall, with it’s pumpkins and leaves, football, soups, and cool weather. It’s just that fall also has a less glamorous side with it’s school, homework, soccer, and overtired children. Now that my children have morphed into actual school-aged kids, I find myself longing for the lazy days of summer where could sleep in and there was absolutely nothing planned except a day of swimming and firefly catching.

Right now my calendar is a bit full, to say the least.

(This is just one of my four (!!!) calendars. OY.)

Please note the red arrows, pointing to a little something at the bottom right of the calendar. It says “Destin,” and this is where I kindly thumb my nose at fall, pack up the kids in the car and head for sunny beaches. With all the stress I’ve been feeling lately, being able to see the promise of a beach vacation has kept me going.

This is what I’m looking forward to the most:

1. Sleeping In
2. Ignoring my computer
3. Forgetting that I have four calendars
4. Eating seafood platters
5. Sitting on the beach
6. Playing in the waves
7. Being lazy
8. NO HOMEWORK!
9. Spending time with my kids
10. Smelling like sand, sunscreen, and pina coladas.

Sure, fall has it’s good points, too, but summer is just where my heart is. I know summer gets a bad rap with it’s heat and humidity, and I’ve certainly done my fair share of complaining about having to entertain the kids during those long summer days, but summer has always been and will always be my favorite season.

Ella sits with Nugget, her Hallmark Interactive Story Buddy

As much as I’m going to enjoy our trip to Destin, fall will be here waiting for us when we get back. I don’t want to spend our whole vacation fretting about what’s waiting for us when we return — because that’s how my crazy brain works — so I’ve also made a list of fall things that I’m looking forward to the most:

1. Cool weather that’s perfect for running
2. Hanging out around the firepit on cool, fall evenings and roasting marshmallows
3. Soup! and chili!
4. Decorating for Halloween
5. Helping the kids choose Halloween costumes
6. Lazy Saturdays and Sundays spent watching football and eating my favorite food, appetizers.
7. Getting to wear cute boots
8. Shopping for new fall clothes
9. Honey Crisp apples

(Can you tell that I like to make lists? In addition to my four calendars, I make lots and lots of lists. It’s almost an illness.)

Carson dreams of being Batman for Halloween as he listens to his Superheroes Recordable Storybook from Hallmark.

So in two weeks, I’m going to live like it’s summer and hopefully return refreshed and ready to embrace fall.

What are you most looking forward to this fall?

(PS: I don’t usually announce to the world when I’m going to be gone on vacation, but Tate is not able to get away from work that week and he’ll be staying home. Would be robbers, you need to know that I have a vicious dog with very sharp teeth and I would highly recommend staying away if you don’t want to have your shoes chewed off. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

(PSS: Yes, I know you can see my children’s real names on the calendar. You can’t google names within an image, which is why I use pseudonyms anyway–I don’t want people to google their names and wind up on this website– so no worries!)

Carson and Ella received the Interactive Story Buddy and Recordable Storybook, courtesy of Hallmark.

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The Story Behind the First Day of School Outfit

Written on August 20, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Little Monkeys, Pictures, Quirky Me

Ella looked so cute on her first day of Kindergarten, didn’t she? Let me tell you, it was a long, uphill battle getting to the cute. For a few weeks leading up to Kindergarten the prospect of her looking cute, or even presentable, for her first day of school was dismal. She had her own ideas about what she wanted to wear–and I had a completely different idea.

It all started sometime in July as I was started to get her fired up for Kindergarten.

“…And we’ll have a girls day and get our toes painted before school starts!” I told her enthusiastically. “Then we’ll go shopping and find a cute new shirt for school.”

“Okay, but Mom? I already know what I want to wear for school. I want to wear my elephant shirt!”

Oh, the elephant shirt. It sounds harmless, right? It sounds like it has cute-potential. It seems like one of those battles that I probably shouldn’t pick? Well, you would be wrong. The elephant shirt is this old, ratty, stained shirt from a certain big box discount store. It’s size 3T and even on tiny Ella, is way too small, nearly showing her belly. It’s a shirt that’s perfect for a day playing in the dirt or painting, but not for the first day of Kindergarten.

Nevermind that the elephant shirt is her favorite shirt. I hate to squash the emerging fashionista, and I swear that I’m not a fashion tyrant, but I responded with a hearty, “Uh, no. No. And no. You can’t wear the elephant shirt on your first day of Kindergarten.” This was one fashion battle that I was going to win. I’ve learned to not argue with Ella about what she wears. She is a girl with very specific tastes about her clothes and I’ve accepted that even though it sometimes kills me a little when she refuses to wear a dress, but on this occasion, I just had to put my foot down.

If you have a child, particularly a daughter, who has specific ideas about their clothes, then I’m sure you can imagine how well Ella responded. I’ll give you a hint: Not Well. She cried. She pouted. She whined. She almost annoyed me enough that I strongly considered giving in.

“But Mommy! It’s my favorite!”

“Ella!” I insisted, “I’m offering to buy you a brand new shirt! Who doesn’t like new shirts?!”

This went on for probably longer than it should have (weeks), but I held firm. No way could I allow her to attend her first day of school in that elephant shirt. She finally relented when I took (okay, dragged) her shopping and we found a pink shirt with birdies and flowers that she agreed to wear it for her first day of school. Victory was mine!

I’m sure you can guess what she wore for her second day of Kindergarten. Whatever.

Just for fun, here’s a picture of me from my first day of first grade. I’m the one on the right and I’m wearing my most favorite Hawaiian shirt with blue slacks. Slacks! So much more presentable than the elephant shirt, that’s for sure. Too bad there’s no picture of me holding my Dukes of Hazzard lunch box.

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. While I am compensated for my work, I love getting to share these special occasions. Because life truly is a special occasion, each and every moment.

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I am gonna write you a love song. Today.

Written on July 25, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Pictures, Quirky Me

We were heading home from a long day of running errands the other day when Carson asked, out of the blue, “Wouldn’t it be great if we lived closed to Nana and Paw Paw? And Nanny and Papa? And Aunt Kate? And Uncle James and Aunt Melissa and Baby Riley? And we could see them all the time?”

He has no idea that at least a few times per week, I think the exact same thing.

I’ve made it no secret to everyone except my children that moving around so much has been very difficult for me. Moving over and over has often made me feel like a wanderer with no place to call home. The whole routine of getting new driver’s licenses, learning my way around each new city, and finding a good hairdresser every few years has been an adventure, but not always an adventure I wanted to take.

The hardest part about moving isn’t the lack of good stylist, though, it’s living so far from our family. Having given birth and taken care of two newborns with only a few weeks worth of help was daunting. I desperately needed a support network when Carson and Ella were babies, family that I could depend on to give me a moment’s peace or to give Tate and I a much needed night away. But it’s not just the babysitting that I wish we’d had, now that the kids are getting older, I feel sad for the things that they regularly miss.

They only just this summer went to their first baseball game at Busch Stadium. They don’t get to go spend the night at Nana’s house on a random Wednesday in the middle of summer. They don’t get to grow up with their cousins. They may never say, “I’m from Missouri.”

Despite the distance and the things that our family misses, I actually really like where we live. I’ve stopped holding my breath, waiting for the call for the next move, and have started to let myself think of Knoxville as home. We’ve even found our village, our friends.

One of the only reasons that I’ve been able settle in here is because of the friends we’ve made. They have helped me not to dwell on the family that we don’t have close-by, because like us, so many of them are far from home, too. We’ve all come to depend on one another–because that’s what a family does.

Adrienne is who I called when I need someone to watch Ella when I was on my way to Nashville for my half-marathon. Robyn is the friend who listened while I cried about my terrible morning and needing a break from the kids. Heather is the person who helped me look at Carson in a whole new light when I feared darkness. Sarah and her husband have shared meals with us on Thanksgiving and Easter. Jen, Jo, Amanda, Kate, and Amy held me up when I couldn’t hold myself up.

Our friends ARE our family and just like family, I don’t tell them enough what they each mean to me. It’s busyness that makes me forget to actually say the words, even though I continually thank my lucky stars that these people are my chosen family. They need to hear it, or even better read it, that they mean so much to me, so I’ve spent the last week writing little notes to them on Hallmark greeting cards.

Funny messages and inside jokes, and even a few serious sentiments, all to say “I couldn’t do this life without you. Thank you for being my family, my village.”

(top photo credit: Flickr)

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. They provided me with greeting cards to send friends and gave me some of the words to say thank you.

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Proper Care and Feeding of Your Wild Animal

Written on June 27, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Little Monkeys, Mommydom

Topping the scales at a whopping 31 pounds and standing at a towering 41 inches, Ella is a five-year-old mini powerhouse. Wearing her size 4T skorts, cinched at the waist so they’ll stay up, she looks sweet and innocent–and certainly she is!–but dare cross her or *gasp!* call her “little?” You had better watch your back.

Playdates and trips to the park are often interrupted by Ella screaming at another child, “I! Am NOT! LITTLE!” Hands on hips, her eyebrows set at an angry angle, and her lips stuck out and pursed, you could almost believe her insistence that she is in fact big and not little. There is a lot of personality and passion stuffed inside that tiny girl.

Carson and Ella, being 18 months apart, are usually the best of friends. They have many of the same interests and depend on each other when they are unsure in new situations. But they are siblings, after all, so they have their fair share of squabbles. Like any kids, they argue about the unfairness of life and sharing toys and like flipping a switch, they quickly forgive and forget.

That is, unless you call Ella little, which is exactly what Carson did one day with the orneriest, most mocking face and tone of voice you can imagine out of a brother. Big mistake. HUGE.

It started out like any argument. Someone took a toy the other wanted to play with. Some “mines” and “not fairs” were thrown around for good measure, but when that wasn’t working, Carson decided to kick it up a notch with some good ol’ fashioned sister ribbing.

“Yeah?” he said, “Well I guess I’ll let you have this toy, but it’s only because you are LITTLE.”

In an instant, Ella pounced like a tiger on Carson’s back and began pulling hair, scratching, and punching, her eyes wild with anger.

“I’M NOT LITTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” she wailed.

It was equally horrifying and hilarious. Horrifying that my sweet little girl attacked her brother like a wild animal, but hilarious that she, well, attacked her brother like a wild animal. Simultaneously stifling a laugh and a gasp of horror, Tate pried Ella off Carson’s back, one ~~claw~~ finger at a time. Carson was basically unharmed, though possibly psychologically scarred. His eyes were as round as saucers, shocked that she actually attacked.

After a time-out, for Ella’s punishment and Tate and I to compose ourselves, we had a discussion with her about not attacking people, hitting is wrong, scratching is wrong, hair pulling is wrong, you know, the standard parental lecture. We carefully broached the subject of her size, being careful not to confirm that she is little, but that she’s just the size she’s meant to be.

“Don’t listen when other people tell you that you’re little, Ella! You’re perfect just the way God made you.” She nodded in agreement, but I could see that she wasn’t really buying into any hint that she could be little.

So just a heads up, if you ever meet Ella, nix the word “little” from your vocabulary.

Check out Hallmark’s new Bug ‘Em line, perfect for siblings who “bug” each other! (Get it?!) Actually, this series of cards, books, and creatures is the perfect way to celebrate the little things that make being a kid a special occasion. Check them out here!

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