Brad Pitt and I are practically cousins.  We grew up in the same town (Springfield, MO!  Holla to my homies in the 417!).  He attended my rival high school, the same one attended by my high school boyfriend.  That’s just two degrees of separation right there.  Back when he used to date Gwyneth Paltrow, the two of them came to Springfield for Thanksgiving and shopped at the local Smitty’s.  I have shopped at that VERY SAME SMITTY’S.  We probably touched the exact same floor tiles.  Another time when he was in town, he went downtown to bars where I used to frequent.  Also, my sorority sister in college, her boyfriend at the time grew up down the ACTUAL street from where Brad grew up.

See?  Practically related!

My hometown was also home to several other celebrities.  I like to drop their names sometimes to make myself look cool.

Ever heard of the Disney Channel?  How about the slightly popular, High School Musical?  Lucas Grabeel, better known as hunky ”Ryan Evans” from HSM also graduated from MY rival high school.   It’s like I KNOW him. 

Aaron Buerge, a former male slut suitor on The Bachelor STILL lives in my hometown and owns a restaurant in that same downtown district.  We have breathed the SAME AIR.

I went to the same college as Kathleen Turner of Romancing the Stone fame.  Really!  I did!  Also, John Goodman (Roseanne) went to my college.  Sure they attended DECADES *ahem* earlier than myself, but just the fact that we attended the very same school counts for something I say.

Have you heard of that auto parts store, O’Reilly’s, the one with all the catchy radio ads?  It started in MY hometown and my best friend in elementary school, her sister used to ride horses with the daughter of the owner of O’Reilly’s.  (O, O, O, O’Reillyyyyyyyyyyyyy’s.  Auto Parts.)

When I was in L.A. for spring break years ago, I saw Noah from Beverly Hills 90210 in a bar, Jack Nicholson driving around in a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and Chad Lowe in a Ford Taurus.

Impressive, no?

My bestestest claim to fame has to be from last Thursday night when I got to actually meet (and fall in LOVE with) Bossy when she and her Saturn stopped in Indiana during her road trip.   Also, I now know (and LOVE) her, her, her, and her.  I already knew (and LOVED) her and her. 

I. Am.  FAMOUS.  (For reals.)

What is your claim to fame?

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Tags: Indiana, Lucky Me, Quirky Me, it's not a blog it's HBO by Jennifer
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We have met every single person in our neighborhood.  It truly isn’t much of a feat considering there are only six other homes so far in my neighborhood.  Every person we’ve met is extraordinarily friendly (and I’m not  just saying that because several of them know about this blog and might be reading…**Hi neighbors!**)

Although that good for nothing Mother Nature didn’t bless us with the promised nice weather this past weekend, she has attempted to make up for it with the most perfect weather imaginable these past three days.  With this good weather, our family and most of my neighbors have taken every opportunity to get outside.  We wave at one another as we go for walks, or pedal by on a bicycles, or are outside watering the newly planted flowers.

We are a jovial bunch, me and the peeps in mah ‘hood.

I mention all of this because of ONE woman who lives in an adjoining neighborhood who has also been riding her bike in our neighborhood.  I certainly don’t mind if she rides in our neighborhood, it’s not as if we are a gated community trying to keep people out.  In fact there are lots of folks who meander into our neighborhood, waving and smiling as they walk past.

Except for that ONE woman.  I have said “hello” to her every evening, waved, and made eye contact.  Her response?

Nothing.

She just keeps pedaling away, without so much as a head nod to acknowledge my greeting.

The first time I thought that perhaps she didn’t hear me, possibly due to some sort of hearing impairment and NOT some sort of asshattery.  The second time, when I’m certain we were looking at one another, and she ignorned me yet again, I considered the possibility that she was blind and hearing impaired.  Seeing as how she was riding a bike and avoiding all the construction debris in the road, I feel confident that she is not blind.  I suppose it’s still a possibility that she’s hearing impaired, but my suspicion is that she’s social niceties impaired.  Or in other words some sort of asshattery is indeed at play here.

The next time she smugly pedals past my house, I’m tempted to yell at her, “Didn’t your mother teach you manners?!”  or “What’s your PROBLEM, HUH!?” or “HEEEELLLLOOOO!!!!!”  Of course, all of these sentences would be preceded by the always attention getting “Hey LAAAADDDY!”

But that would make me as obnoxious as her.

My goal is to get her to reciprocate a greeting.  I’d be happy with a nod, happier with a slight wave of the hand, and downright gleeful if she spoke back.  It’s a lofty goal, I know.  But, I won’t give up.  I’ll wave and say hello every. single. time. I see her until I get that coveted response.

Stick around for updates!  I’ll go make a pitcher of lemonade while you wait to show off my really awesome neighborly skills.

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Tags: Go Fly a Kite, Huh?, Indiana by Jennifer
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Have you ever seen that movie, The Entity?  That is one scary movie right there, one that I should never, ever have watched years ago.  Having a vivid imagination and being one who might occasionally overreact, I was certain that the rumbling I felt in my bed at 5:40 AM last Friday was definitely an evil ghost who’d come to get me.

Luckily for me it was JUST an earthquake. 

First I heard a very odd noise coming from the baby monitor, a noise that certainly wasn’t my children, but an eerie low frequency NON-HUMAN sounding something.  Obviously when I put all the facts together moments after the rumbling that fully awakened me, I positively KNEW that I was living with a ghost (or ghosts plural.)

I immediately turned on every light, running frantically away from my bedroom and the ghost or ghosts plural.  Finding my cell phone, I fumbled to find Tate’s number and call him.  He’s a man!  He could help beat the ghosts!  Or something.

When I finally got ahold of Tate seconds later, I explained the situation and my fear of our unwelcome guests ghost(s). 

“There was this rumbling that started at the bottom of the bed!  And!  I could hear it over the baby monitor!  And!!!  I could feel an energy in the room.  We have an infestation of ghosts!  I know we do, I just know it.  I’m not crazy, Tate.”

After repeating the above sentences about ten times to REALLY!  GET!  MY!  POINT!  ACROSS!, Tate asked if I had considered that it might be an earthquake.

I, obviously, thought that the possibility of an earthquake was downright WACKO.  A ghost or ghosts plural was a much more viable possibility.

But apparently, as it turns out, it was indeed an earthquake–an earthquake I BARELY survived. 

I also narrowly escaped death once before when I was woken up by an earthquake in Knoxville.  Now I can say I’ve survived TWO earthquakes and that makes me, like, really cool. 

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Tags: I Still Have the Smarts Real Good, Indiana, Quirky Me, Religimcal Thoughts by Jennifer
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A fun-filled weekend
On Saturday, an auction
Sunday, Prophetstown

Thanks to that good-for-nothing Mother Nature, the weather in Indiana is FINALLY supposed to be warm(er) and sunny this weekend. This is a good thing because if the weather was cold, dreary, windy, and miserable like it was last weekend, I was going to be forced to pack up the family and head back to Alabama.

(I’m TOTALLY kidding about that. Going back to Alabama! That is cuh-razy talk.)

(ha.) (HAAA, HAA, HAAAA.) (CRAZY talk.) (HA!)

So anyhoo, what plans are on your docket for the weekend? What does your family do for fun? I’d really like to know so that in the event that Mother Nature screws my eyeballs out and wrecks the weekend, I could possibly have some ideas for alternatives so that we don’t end up back in Alabama.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

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Tags: Indiana, Life in LA, haiku friday by Jennifer
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Hi, Mama Nature.  Jennifer, here…the one in New Town, IN.  The one that used to moan and complain about you and your evil ways in Alabama.  Certainly you remember me.  I’m writing to you to express my deepest irritation at your inability to deliver on Spring here in Indiana.  As I’m SURE you’re aware, Spring arrived March 20.  Here we are on April 10 and the forecast for the next several day is full of teases.  Nobody likes a tease, you see.

It’s supposed to be in the 60’s today and tomorrow, but those warm temperatures are being accompanied by thunderstorms, a most unwelcome guest.  This weekend is actually supposed to be sunny, but COLD.  Your inability to perform your basic job duties is simply unacceptable. 

Listen up, Mama, and listen good.  Ella has a closet full of adorable spring/summer dresses and outfits, some of which I’ve had since before she was born, that I’ve yet to even wash because of your inability to deliver on Spring.  I know that if I wash these darling outfits, you won’t send warmer temperatures until June or July.  You’re cruel like that. 

My patience is running thin.  All I want is some sun AND warm temperatures at the SAME TIME so that I can dress my daughter up in her new little outfits.  Would it be that hard to let me experience a little joy?

Please deliver on your promise of Spring.

Yours in utter annoyance,

Jennifer and family

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Saturday brought beautiful weather to New Town, IN, perfect for heading to a farm auction.  If you’ve never been to an auction you are truly missing out.  But this isn’t about the auction itself, it’s about using our stupid navigation system to get there.

I (probably should) take some of the responsibility in the resulting clusterf*ck.  First of all, I waited until we were in the car to ask Tate if he knew where we were going.  HUGE mistake.  I know from prior experience that we should have the route secured prior to departure.  Secondly, when he said that we’d just use the navigation system to tell us how to get there, I didn’t immediately say, “ah hell no.  We need to look at a real MAP.”  HEE-YUGE mistake.  When the navigation system seemed to be sending us on a route I wouldn’t have thought of myself, I didn’t immediately stop the insanity right then and there. 

**head explodes**

Let me back up just a bit to explain my extreme irritation with our navigation system.  It works splendidly if you merely want to go somewhere using our nation’s interstate system.  When used for in town navigation, though, it tends to choose odd routes and sometimes it gets confused and tells you you’re driving off road even when you know for damn sure that you are INDEED driving on a road.   It has also told me to make a u-turn to get back on the correct route, right after it’s told me to turn, like I’m the idiot, or something.

These “quirks” don’t deter Tate from his LOVE of the navigation system, though.   To him, the navigation system is infallible.

Here’s what the route to the auction looked liked…

What should have taken 15 minutes or so, took about 45 minutes.

What should have been a fun family outing, instead is probably going to lead to years of therapy and anti-anxiety meds.

What should have been a leisurely drive, filled with talk of the tractors and combines we’d get to see, was instead filled with angry accusations and heavy sighs. “Well if SOMEONE would have looked at a map BEFORE we left, we wouldn’t be in this position!”  “You have NO sense of direction!!!”  ***HEAVY. SIGH.***

After about 20 minutes of following the navigation system, Tate and I both realized that the route it had chosen was definitely the LONG, LONG way. But since we didn’t know where we were and didn’t have one of those old school PAPER maps with us, we still had to follow the route. That damn navigation system had us by the balls.

We easily self-navigated our way home and agreed that in the future we’d FINALLY learn from our mistakes and look at a real, bona fide paper map before leaving the house.  Also, we decided to go ahead and start a “future therapy” fund, just in case.

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Tags: Go Fly a Kite, Indiana, Men?, hole-y matrimony by Jennifer
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Out my back window
A beautiful sunrise waits
Pink, misty.  Lovely.

Next morning comes
With it, bringing graying clouds
Waiting for the rain

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