playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren

Bem-vindo a Portugual!  Welcome to Portugal!

I ran away from home a few weeks ago, straight into the welcoming arms of World Market and found a plethora of international delights.   These cookies kept beckoning from several different shelves.  “COMPRE-ME!  COMPRE-ME! (BUY ME!  BUY ME!)” they chanted.

I was intrigued.  Cookies.  From Portugual.  There was no way this was going to end badly, I was certain.  Unlike the sake incident of aught nine, I knew that cookies were a relatively safe choice.

Readers of Playgroups are No Place for Children, please meet Princesa Assortment Biscuits!  An assortment of cookies, indeed!  Wafers, cookies shaped like hearts and pretzels covered with chocolate, cookies with chocolate centers, and buttery cookies were gobbled down by a ravenous family of four in less than a week.   We had several boxes of Girl Scout Cookies lying around the house that went completely untouched while we finished the Portuguese cookies.

Hailing from Portugal, these tasty cookies are, well, tasty.  EVERYONE in the family loved them.  “So crunchy!” exclaimed Carson.  “So crunchy!” exclaimed Ella, as she says whatever Carson says.  “MaahMrrmrrrmmm!” exclaimed Tate, his mouth full of cookies.

(Dearest FTC, these cookies were a purchase I made all by myself!  I’ve never even been to Portugal!  Furthermore, I’ve never conversed with any companies (PR or Princesa Assortment Biscuit makers) regarding my love for these cookies.  Okay?  Okay!)

My children lost their ever loving minds today.  I don’t fully grasp the meaning of the phrase “ever loving mind,” but it didn’t stop me from repeatedly saying to these two miniature heathens who live under my roof, “HAVE YOU TWO LOST YOUR EVER LOVING MINDS?????”

I fully blame those damn kids of mine for this post and why I’m going to talk about Nutella for the second time in less than a week.

Last week, when I first wrote about Nutella, Moriah from Please Pass the Salt left a very intriguing comment.  She left one word.  ”Strawberries.”  That’s all it said.  This one word seemed significant so I ran to the store right away (well, as right away as one can when waiting to grocery shop blissfully alone) and bought strawberries.  Why it hadn’t occured to me before to eat Nutella with strawberries, I have no idea.  Strawberries with Nutella definitely sounded far better than Nutella with toast.

Did you know, that Nutella is from CANADA???  All this time I thought it was from Italy.   The more you know!

Also did you know that Nutella is not necessarily found on the International foods aisle?  It is from a TOTALLY EXOTIC foreign country, yet I found it swapping “ehs” and “aboots” with the peanut butter and jelly.

Also ALSO did you know that Nutella with strawberries, fed to you by your significant other after a rotten day, tastes especially delicious?

For Tate’s birthday, I decided to attempt my very first recipe out of my brand new food porn bible, the Les Halles Cookbook by Anthony Bourdain. (Can you see the angelic halo surrounding the title!?)

To say that our dinner was good would be an insult.  I’m 100% bragging, I admit, but what I made was probably my culinary masterpiece.  Not only did it involve the process of roasting beef bones and vegetables for homemade stock, it also included a bouquet garni and other FRENCH words.  Ooh, la, la!

First of all, please note that the title of this post is not at all accurate.  International foods AISLE?  Um, no.  Nothing in the meal came from a box or a can, or merely an aisle!  Every ingredient was fresh and came from the produce and meat section of the grocery store.  Which reminds me, did you know that scalloped potatoes don’t come from a box?!?  I KNOW!  I didn’t know this either, but sorry Betty Crocker, my Gratin Dauphinois kicked your boxed scalloped potatoes to the curb.

So last night’s culinary journey (if you haven’t already figured it out) was to my own version of a lovely little French bistro in Paris.  Here’s what I made:  Carré d’agneau au moutarde with gratin dauphinois.

Rough translation (I don’t exactly speak french):  Rack of lamb with a dijon mustard and bread crumb crust, served with the most delicious wine and homemade beef stock reduction I’ve ever put in my mouth (also the only) with fancy pants scalloped potatoes.

On Twitter I deemed myself, the Fabulous Rack of Lamb cooker.  Yeah.  It was good enough to talk about on Twitter.  And Facebook.  And with Tate, to whom I went on and on and on some more about my masterpiece, every few minutes.

“Can you believe how utterly fabulous that dinner I made was?!  Can you???!!!”

“I..I..I can’t put into words just how delicious that was!”

“Who knew!  Lamb IS good!”

And it IS!  Lamb, when prepared correctly, is terrific.  I’d had lamb once before and remember it being gamey and dry.  What I made last night was perfectly cooked and tasted a lot like very mild steak.   Both the rack of lamb and the potatoes were ridiculously, mind-bogglingly easy to make.

Part of what made the meal so enjoyable was that I’d fed the kids some leftover boxed macaroni and cheese while the lamb and potatoes were cooking.  As soon as Tate and I were ready to eat, Carson magically needed to *ahem* use the restroom and requested the assistance of his sister while he, uh, did his business.  We were able to quietly enjoy our dinner at Les Halles in Paris, drinking wine and having a real-live adult conversation.

It just doesn’t get any better than this.  (And it makes the boring stir-fry I’m making for dinner tonight sound like pig slop.)

Kimchi.  Spicy, marinated, fermented cabbage.

Fermented.

Cabbage.

FERMENTED!  CABBAGE!

I was pretty sure that this culinary strolll was gonna lead me straight to the toilet.  The jar itself frightened me.  Bubbles continually rose to the top and the jar was leaking.

“Oh great,”  I thought to myself.  “Spoiled FERMENTED CABBAGE.  Gee, what could go wrong.”

The side of the jar assured me that bubbling and resultant leaking was quite normal due to the fermentation.

In a recent issue of Cooking Light magazine, I found a recipe for Korean Beef* that called for Kimchi as an ingredient.  I’d heard of Kimchi, but didn’t really know that it was, you know, FERMENTED CABBAGE.  It was difficult to find at the grocery store, but finally found it in the produce section.

Tate was very excited with this most exotic of finds.  He’d never had or even heard of Kimchi and wasn’t frightened at all by it’s bubbling or fermentation or cabbage-ness.

“The bubbling is a result of fermentation,” my nerdy chemical engineer husband explained to me.  (READ:  DUH, Jennifer.)

So I made the recipe for Korean Beef and topped my delicious creation with the Kimchi.  It took some nerve, but I finally worked up enough to take a bite….and…it was fabulous in all it’s fermented cabbage glory.  Tate loved it even more than I did.  Spicy, full of flavor, kind of vinegary, the Kimchi was just perfect for the recipe.

The side of the jar says that Kimchi can be used to top burgers and sandwiches and can be added to tuna salad.  Let’s not get crazy here.  It is FERMENTED CABBAGE afterall, I’m not so sure it belongs on a burger or in my tuna salad.

*I’ll post the recipe of Korean Beef soon!  So delicious!  And if you’re a sissy, you don’t have to add the Kimchi

Welcome again to Jennifer and Tate’s culinary journey down the International foods aisle.  When we were last with our brave duo, they were traipsing through jolly old England and eating Spotted Dick.  Luckily neither of our heroes perished and they have embarked on another journey.

This episode:  Sake
Country of origin:  Japan

Disclaimer:  This was not actually purchased on the International foods aisle at the grocery store because HA!  Tennessee doesn’t sell liquor (or wine, *GASP*, I KNOW!) at the grocery store.  This was purchased in an oft frequented liquor store.

Tate “surprised” me one evening returning from our weekly liquor store run with this bottle of Sake.  I had never tried, nor had I ever WANTED to try Sake, but being the adventurer that I am, I gave it a try.

This swill, I’m guessing, wasn’t actually from Japan, despite the fancy schmancy Japanese writing on the bottle.  I’m guessing it was home-brewed some place in Appalachia by brothers (and cousins) Bubba Joe and No-Teeth Cooter.

Ick is all I have to say.

Ick.

Well I also have to say it made my stomach feel very warm, but not in a good way that say, Peppermint Schnapps in a cup of hot cocoa does.  I only had about 3 sips, but with the warmth emanating from my belly, it seemed liked a guzzled the whole bottle AND swallowed a glowing torch.

Tate was less than impressed also, though I don’t think his negative feelings were as strong or as WARM as mine.

We later learned from some high faluting, Sake drinking friends, that Sake is actually a lot better heated, like on the stove, as if Sake needs any help to make you feel warmer.  If we can get the nerve, Tate and I will try the Sake again and report our findings.

The thrills!  They just never end here on Playgroups are no place for children.

It’s expensive to travel, particularly out of the country.  I want to experience foods from other cultures, so the International food aisle at my local grocery store will have to be my source of culture.

It’s a little dub-t, I guess, experiencing “culture” at my grocery store.

Oh well.

So welcome to the first episode on our journey!

This episode:  Heinz Spotted Dick
Country of origin:  United Kingdom

Tate works with a British chap who laughed when he told him we were going to try some Spotted Dick.  He recommended we try it with some Lyle’s Golden Syrup.   (Mmmmm, Lyle’s.)

We followed the directions on the can, microwaving for several minutes. After cooking, we poured a little heaven, er, I mean, Lyle’s on top.

Verdict:  Well.  Hmmm.  It’s kinda like a dry-ish gingerbread-like cake with raisins. I guess if you like dry cake, gingerbread, and raisins, then this would be a jolly good dessert.

I didn’t much care for it, even when I added more Lyle’s.  Tate really liked it.

Stayed tuned for future episodes of our culinary journey down the International food aisle.  Any and all suggestions would be appreciated.