Today Tate and I celebrate our seven year anniversary.  

On the morning of July 14, 2001, I woke up very early, unable to go back to sleep due to the anticipation of this long awaited day.  I went down to the hotel lobby to have breakfast.  My dad happened to be in the lobby, so he and I ate breakfast together.  Sitting there with just my dad before my big day is one of my favorite memories from the day.

Later that morning, I saw my grandpa.  He asked me if I knew that July 14th was also my grandmother’s birthday, she’d passed away when I was just a young child.  I hadn’t known that our wedding date was also her birthday, making the day that much more special. 

When the doors of the church opened, Tate looked like he was going to cry.  I’ve asked him many times since if it was because of my breathtaking beauty or his nerves…of course, he always answers correctly.  It was all I could do not to ugly cry as I walked down the aisle.

At our reception, I told the DJ that I did not want to hear any music by AC/DC or Rush, two of my most detested bands.  It didn’t matter if one of the reception guests requested to hear one of their songs, he was supposed to tell them that he’d add it to his list but then never get to it.  He respected my wishes.  Smart DJ.

We served a buffet dinner, which sadly I barely remember.  I know I ate, I know that we had prime rib, but I don’t even recall if it was good.  So sad to not even remember the food.  I love reminiscing about food.  What’s even more sad though, is that I only got one bite of wedding cake.  I told Tate prior to the wedding that if he smeared cake in my face, he’d pay dearly.  Tate respected my wishes.  Smart Tate.

We decided that getting a limo to drive us to our hotel where we’d spend our wedding night would be silly.  To save money, my mom drove us to our hotel.  I remember laughing as she dropped us off, knowing what we were getting ready to go do for the VERY FIRST TIME.  *ahem* 

Tate carried me over the threshold.  Thinking about that makes my heart flutter. 

A wedding is just one day out of a marriage, but ours was a WONDERFUL day to BEGIN our marriage.  I had no doubt in my mind that I was making the right choice.  I still have no doubt that Tate is my one and only. 

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So remember how I’ve been begging for a camera?  And then I told you last week that all that soul sucking begging paid off and then never told you how it paid off? 

Yeah, well sorry ’bout that.  Well my new Canon 450D/Rebel XSi arrived via UPS yesterday afternoon amidst much jumping up and down and gleeful shouting.  Here was me, all day yesterday…”Was that the UPS truck!!!” as I ran to the window only to see NO SIGN of the UPS truck.  “Oh I better not shower, what if the UPS man comes while I’m showering??”  “No vacuuming today!  I might not hear the doorbell when the UPS man shows up!”  “Carson BE QUIET!!!  I can’t listen for the UPS man!”  “Did you hear that?  Did it sound like a UPS truck, Carson??”

So needless to say, I got very little done yesterday waiting and waiting and waiting.  It was torture!  But I’m guessing you’re sitting at your computer saying, “GET TO HOW YOU GOT THE CAMERA ALREADY!”

Jeez, I was getting to it.  Patience.

One of my wonderful readers, Trish,  emailed me recently and told me that she works for a company who sells cameras at wholesale price.  She offered to let me choose a Nikon d60 or the Canon XSi for free for 30 days.  After 30 days I could either box it back up and return the camera OR buy the camera at wholesale cost.  Her exact words to me were “I know it’s not as cool as Canon contacting you directly…”

Shut up!  Oh it’s as cool alright!  Since it’s not a free forever camera and I’m not expected to write a review, I’m not even in violation of my BlogHer ads agreement! I, of course, accepted the offer and am now in a mad frenzy to prove to my skeptical husband that we NEED to buy this camera.  He’s convinced that we won’t be able to capture any better pictures with the XSi than we can with our S5IS point and shoot. 

I have 30 days to prove him wrong…and YOU can help!  Send me your best camera tricks, tips, settings, WHATEVER so that I can become a photography wizard.  HALP!  I CAN HAS NO CAMRA SKILLZ.

[pictures deleted] 

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Tags: Little Monkeys, Lucky Me, Men?, Pictures, begfest '08, hole-y matrimony by Jennifer
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Despite watching years and years of daytime/self-help-style talk shows like Donahue, Oprah, and Dr. Phil, and learning that you cannot expect people to read your mind, this is exactly the trap I set for my ever-suffering husband yesterday.   Despite my husband’s kind offers to take the kids out for the day to give me a break or to do anything I could reasonably imagine, all I could muster in response was a mournful and sigh-laden, “I don’t know.”  **shrugs and pouts**

I swear I don’t know how he stays married to me.  I am insufferable!

In some sort of defense of myself, I do have several reasons why I didn’t jump at Tate’s offer to make himself and the kids scarce.  First, I’ll admit to being completely ashamed that I’d rather not be around my children on Mother’s Day.  I feel like I must have some sort of mothering flaw to want to send my children away on the the ONE day that celebrates mothering them.  Aside from my inherent flaws, I also know, well I at least hope, that solitude will not be my solo goal for future Mother’s Days.  One day I won’t spend every waking second with them and I’ll WANT to spend a special day like Mother’s Day with my kids.

I was also afraid to take Tate’s offer of solitude because I was afraid that I’d answer too gleefully.  “YES!  Go AWAY.  Go FAR, FAR away and don’t come back for hours.  Leave me the hell alone!  Amen!  I don’t have to spend the day with you SUCKAS!  I’m FREE!  FREEEEEEEE!”

So instead I moped and sulked and heavy sighed.  My logical self kept telling my asshole self to just come out and tell Tate that yes, I would really enjoy spending the day alone.  My asshole self kept telling my logical self that Tate should JUST KNOW that I want to be alone, since I was obviously sending him all sorts of signs.

Thank goodness my logical side gave my asshole side a swift kick in, well, the ass.

I finally told Tate that it would be really nice if he and the kids left for awhile.  Without complaining, Tate got the kids ready and they left for the afternoon.  He even took them during their afternoon nap, which in and of itself makes Tate a SAINT.

Amen.

While they were gone I caught up on this season of the best of trash TV, The Hills, and watched a few episodes of WE’s High School Confidential (thanks for tip on this show Shelly!).  I also peed blissfully alone which was truly thrilling.

When they returned, St. Tate informed me that he’d made the executive decision to make me a fabulous dinner.  Without any help from me, he grilled ribeyes, roasted asparagus, and made a spinach salad with warm bacon dressing.  For dessert he made ice cream floats.  Then he cleaned up the kitchen and folded laundry all by himself while I enjoyed a glass of wine.

Apparently St. Tate actually can read my mind.

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Brad Pitt and I are practically cousins.  We grew up in the same town (Springfield, MO!  Holla to my homies in the 417!).  He attended my rival high school, the same one attended by my high school boyfriend.  That’s just two degrees of separation right there.  Back when he used to date Gwyneth Paltrow, the two of them came to Springfield for Thanksgiving and shopped at the local Smitty’s.  I have shopped at that VERY SAME SMITTY’S.  We probably touched the exact same floor tiles.  Another time when he was in town, he went downtown to bars where I used to frequent.  Also, my sorority sister in college, her boyfriend at the time grew up down the ACTUAL street from where Brad grew up.

See?  Practically related!

My hometown was also home to several other celebrities.  I like to drop their names sometimes to make myself look cool.

Ever heard of the Disney Channel?  How about the slightly popular, High School Musical?  Lucas Grabeel, better known as hunky ”Ryan Evans” from HSM also graduated from MY rival high school.   It’s like I KNOW him. 

Aaron Buerge, a former male slut suitor on The Bachelor STILL lives in my hometown and owns a restaurant in that same downtown district.  We have breathed the SAME AIR.

I went to the same college as Kathleen Turner of Romancing the Stone fame.  Really!  I did!  Also, John Goodman (Roseanne) went to my college.  Sure they attended DECADES *ahem* earlier than myself, but just the fact that we attended the very same school counts for something I say.

Have you heard of that auto parts store, O’Reilly’s, the one with all the catchy radio ads?  It started in MY hometown and my best friend in elementary school, her sister used to ride horses with the daughter of the owner of O’Reilly’s.  (O, O, O, O’Reillyyyyyyyyyyyyy’s.  Auto Parts.)

When I was in L.A. for spring break years ago, I saw Noah from Beverly Hills 90210 in a bar, Jack Nicholson driving around in a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and Chad Lowe in a Ford Taurus.

Impressive, no?

My bestestest claim to fame has to be from last Thursday night when I got to actually meet (and fall in LOVE with) Bossy when she and her Saturn stopped in Indiana during her road trip.   Also, I now know (and LOVE) her, her, her, and her.  I already knew (and LOVED) her and her. 

I. Am.  FAMOUS.  (For reals.)

What is your claim to fame?

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Tags: Indiana, Lucky Me, Quirky Me, it's not a blog it's HBO by Jennifer
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Thing one:

I went shopping alone yesterday, as it was Tate’s attempt to make up for falling asleep on the couch on my birthday. My mopey, feeling sorry for myself mood wasn’t helped by seeing all of these horrible clothes stores are selling! What is WITH all the boxy shirts with square necks and the maternity-esque shirts and TUBE dresses! And Old Navy! Those clothes were the worst! Maybe I’m too old for shopping there. Is this what kids (feel free to substitute the word “whippersnappers” here) these days are wearing?

Hello.  My name is Jennifer and I just turned 80.

Thing two:
 
Whenever I leave a store, I have a fear of setting off the alarm and being accused of shoplifting.  Never in my life have I (purposely) shoplifted and partly it’s because I’m afraid I’d set off an alarm and be CAUGHT.  As I get closer to the exit, I feel myself tensing, imagining the alarm sounding as I leave, STOP THIEF!  STOP THIEF! and thinking about the embarrassment WHEN the alarm is SURE to sound.  I skirt quickly across the threshold holding my breath, only exhaling once I’m free and clear and RELIEVED that I dodged the bullet THAT time.

Thing three:
 

Cake.  Lovingly crafted by Tate and Carson while I was gone shopping.

The mopey and feeling sorry for myself mood is gone.  Cake, even a day late, has a way of making everything better.  There there, now.  It’s all better.

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Today is my 33rd birthday.  Why yes!  Happy birthday to me!

You know how Oprah does her favorite things shows and talks about how reasonably priced some of the items are, but really they’re only reasonably priced if you make $260 million a year?  Yeah, so I’m going to share with you my favorite “reasonably priced” gift ideas.  In the event that you are reading this and are Oprah-rich (or Oprah herself..hi Oprah!!  squee!), please feel free to buy one (or all) of these things for me.

Thanks in advance to my well-to-do readers.  Your generosity is most appreciated.

I know it’s wrong to covet thy fellow blogger’s camera, but I think I really MUST have a Canon 40D just like Casey’s.  She let me hold it and caress it and hear it’s intoxicating clicking sound.  Accompanying lenses and gear would be a lovely way to complete the gift and commemorate my special day. 

While I realize I’m one of last people on Earth who doesn’t own these, I’m finally ready for my iPhone, iPod, and macbook.  One of each, please.

A $5000 gift card to Williams-Sonoma should cover most of my much coveted items.   Oh the cookies I could bake.

I’m a huge fan of my Honda Pilot.  However, I’d like to have something a bit more sporty for those rare occasions that I’m alone and driving around blaring Britney Spears with the windows down.  A Porsche Carrera GT, silver, with black leather interior would certainly fit the bill.

And if you’re feeling super generous, I would truly enjoy a week long vacation at a 5-star resort in Hawaii, complete with a personal butler and masseuse (a good masseuse, though.  Not one that will torture me).  My children would need reliable childcare while I’m away, so if I would need some recommendations for a nanny.

I realize that it’s highly unlikely I’ll actually get any of these for my birthday, but in the event you’ve made a purchase for me, please let me know in advance when to expect delivery of my gifts.  I want to make sure I’m home and not out shopping at Meijer.

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I’m really stressed.  Like REALLY stressed.

I chewed the head off our builder’s realtor and spit it out, then stomped on the remnants just for that added oomph at the closing of our house yesterday.  She deserved it, so I don’t feel bad.  But I do have that angry taste still in my mouth and it’s clouding my excitement over my new house.  Try as I might, it is rather difficult for me to give up grudges and take away the power that anger holds over me.

Let’s all pretend that I’m in a fantastic mood and am currently spewing rainbows and puppy dogs straight outta my bum.  M,kay?  So onto happier thoughts and talk…I never have told you about my date with Casey and Nell!  Silly me!  We had a great time and it was truly thrilling to meet them both in person.  After having read both of them for at least a year, it was kind of surreal to actually be sitting with them and having lunch and conversation. 

The thing I love about blogging is the community and friendships that have developed.  It feels as if each day, we all get together and chat, sometimes about our kids, sometimes about beauty products, or vacuums, or our TV boyfriends.  Each comment that comes in is like, “Oh HI!  AMomTwoBoys just got to the party!  Have a seat, make yourself comfy!  And look!  It’s Jenni from Just Chicken Feed!  Can I get you all a latte?”

Just so you know, and I know I don’t say this enough, I appreciate each one of you and look forward to hanging out with you everyday (even if it is only virtually).  I wish that you (yes YOU) and I  could really meet, have lunch, and gab for hours on end and ignore our children.

I told you I was spewing rainbows and puppy dogs!   

Enough of that.  Moving right along…speaking of moving, I’ll be moving today and Friday.  Also Comcast (which IS NOT COM-castic, more like CRAP-tastic) has still not hooked up any cable to our house, so I will not have Internet access for a while.  I don’t want to pull a Megan on all of you and just disappear, so I thought I’d let you know that I’d be scarce these next few days (and hopefully not weeks!)  My inbox is currently filled with nearly 50 emails and new visitors’ sites that I haven’t had anytime to check out.    So if you’ve recently emailed me, it’s HIGHLY unlikely (I’m guessing with about 100% certainty) that I won’t be getting back to you anytime soon.  It’s also HIGHLY unlikely (again with 100% certainty) that I probably won’t be getting to all of the awards and memes.

Meh.  I suck.

Hold down the fort for me!  And think your own happy, rainbow, puppy dog thoughts for me as we move…hopefully minus the drama of our last move.

Peace out, ya’ll.  Word to you…mothers.

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