Category Archives: Mommydom

Eavesdropping

Just Write“Can I ask you a very candid question?” her voice boomed across the small seating area of the local coffee shop.  Her hair is state fair hair and I can smell her perfume all the way over here.

“Of course,” she replied tentatively.  Black suit, unassuming haircut. Quieter. She looks like she hasn’t slept well in about 13 years.

“You seem so OVER it all.”

I can’t even hear the reply, their voices are suddenly hushed.

::

I have six articles due by the end of the day.  My eye is twitching, reminding me that I really need make that eye appointment.  I forgot to buy a hula hoop for Carson’s birthday this Friday and I’ve looked at my calendar and can’t figure out how I could possibly fit in a shopping trip.

I hope I get to shower today.

::

I can hear the women talking again.

“Do you think it’s because you regret volunteering for it?”

“I felt backed into a corner.  You know how she is.  I should have said no.”

::

Ella has a fall party at school today, but I’m not going.  I feel really badly about not going, other parents will be there and I hope that she won’t feel sad when I don’t show up.

I did send in some pretzels, so there’s that.

It’s just that I can’t be in two places at once I have this long list of deadlines and…

Really? I’d just rather go to my running class than serve candy corn and pretzels to four-year-olds.

::

I’m not OVER it all, though.  Not really.  I wish that I had more to give everyone, sure, but I feel like I’m giving something to myself for a change.

She probably won’t even miss me at her fall party.

::

Booming voice lady isn’t really listening to black suit lady.  She keeps trying to convince her to keep giving.  More and more and more.

 

 

 

 

This May Be Proof that Disney Pumps Magical Pixie Dust Into Their Air. There’s Really No Other Explanation

There is no way that the words that I arrange and type here could ever convey just how magical our trip to Disney World was.  Simply, it was the trip of a lifetime.

Before I can really tell you anything specific about Disney, I need to give you a little back story on the dynamics of my family.  We are not exactly the best at getting along, particularly in slightly stressful situations (travel, crowds, trying something new…).  Tate and I snip at one another, I hate to use this word-but it’s the truth-we snip at one another CONSTANTLY when we’re stressed.  Our kids have always been the type of kids to throw tantrums, even in the tamest circumstances, let alone on an exhausting five day trip to Disney World complete with late nights and crabby parents.  You should go out to dinner with us sometime. We are SO MUCH FUN to hang around.

Then there’s my control freak tendencies.  Since I did the majority of the planning for the trip, I felt the entire weight of responsibility that everything MUST go well on the trip.  Reservation glitches, weather, the kids behavior, wait times at restaurants-all things that I can’t actually control-I knew I’d feel defensive if things weren’t going just as I’d planned.

These are things that I worried about this before the trip.  I wanted it to be perfect.  I didn’t want US to be the reason that the trip was a flop.

Something truly miraculous happened.  Maybe Disney pumps magical, calming pixie dust into the air, or they spike our drinks with xanax, I DON’T KNOW, but (almost) everything about our trip was PERFECT.  We all behaved and got along well and had the best time we’ve ever had together as a family.

Every night, the kids were visited by the Fairy Godmother, who left them a little gift.  (This idea came from my dental hygienist!  They know more than just teeth cleaning!) The kids ate this up and loved finding little gifts every morning.  Before we left, I went to the Disney store at the mall and bought a few little items and some gift cards so they’d have their own money to spend at the parks.  I wrote about how we told the kids about the trip, complete with their first visit from the Fairy Godmother at Southern By Proxy.  This part wasn’t really magical at all.

Here’s a rundown of everyday of our vacation, the FOOD! The PARADES! The FUN, all the MAGIC!  I know this is long, but I just wanted to do a one and done post, rather than a series of posts. Okay?

Saturday

We arrived at our resort, the Wilderness Lodge, and it was POURING rain.  The entire seven story lobby was filled with families playing board games, children coloring and hula hooping, families sitting in front of the large fire place, rocking back and forth in the rocking chairs.  It was like something out of a movie.

Our room had a great view of the lake and woods, the kids were SO EXCITED that our room had bunk beds.  We unpacked, then headed back to the lobby where Carson LITERALLY (yes, LITERALLY) hula hooped for two hours.  TWO HOURS.  Ella bounced from activity to activity, many led by Disney staff, coloring and playing games.  After TWO HOURS,  we finally convinced Carson to go back up to the room to relax before dinner.

We had reservations at 7:50 at our resort’s sit down restaurant, Whispering Canyon Cafe.  This was the only place that we had to wait a long time (45 minutes) to be seated. By the time we were seated the kids were exhausted (HULA HOOPING!  TWO HOURS), but our server was sweet and did her best to be quick.  The food was fabulous.  Since we got the free Disney Dining Plan promotion, we were also entitled to dessert.  They boxed up our caramel apple pies because we were too full and too tired to eat anything else.

Sunday

I checked the weather forecast for Orlando and it called for rain every single day of our trip.  100% chance.

So we bought, or rather invested in, some ponchos and boarded the bus for Magic Kingdom.

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“We’re going to have fun, it doesn’t matter if it rains,” Tate said.  This?  Coming from Tate, Mr. Pessimistic?  Proof of magical pixie dust?

We had breakfast reservations for Crystal Palace, a character meal with Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, and Piglet.  The food was all great, the kids LOVED their chocolate Mickey Mouse waffles that were basically brownies.  Brownies for breakfast!  It’s Disney World so it’s OKAY!  Carson and Ella were excited to meet the characters and get their autograph books signed.  They characters did a little Friendship Day dance that was a little lame, but it was sweet.

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The first thing we’d planned to do right after breakfast was to get a stroller and get a “1st visit” badge, but it was raining SO HARD.  Ella saw Cinderella’s castle and desperately wanted to go there, so we just bypassed the stroller and badges and headed through the nearly blinding rain straight for the castle.

But we were all HAPPY.  The rain was annoying, yes, but we were standing right in front of Cinderella’s castle!  And then there were all these great rides!  The carousel, It’s a Small World, and the Peter Pan ride.  I never want to forget standing in line, Tate’s hand in the small of my back, looking at each other and silently saying, “This is perfect, isn’t it?”

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We loved how most of the lines and rides were all covered so we didn’t have to stand in the rain.  As the day went on, the sun even came out a few times.  The whole day was spent riding rides and our favorite was the Buzz Lightyear ride.  We also stumbled upon a parade and got a front row view.  It was just amazing, the float and characters were so much fun to watch.

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After a mid afternoon rest back in our room, we went back to Magic Kingdom for the Electric parade (AWESOME) and fireworks show (Also, AWESOME.  What we weren’t expecting was the movie they played on the facade of the castle.  It brought tears to my eyes.  The kids were really tired so we were holding them and somehow I ended up holding Carson.  My arms and back were on fire, but during the show, he hugged me and gave me a kiss.  Aw man, that right there was worth every penny spent on the vacation.

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This was one of the very best days of my life.

Monday

Monday was Hollywood Studios day and the rain had miraculously stopped.  As directed by Shelly, our fantastic travel agent, we got there before they opened and headed straight to the Toy Story ride.  Tate didn’t really get that all those people around us, THOUSANDS of people, were all heading to the exact same place.  He kept checking the map and saying, “yes, this is the right way.”  I kept saying, “Yes, it is.  I think ALL of these people are going to the same place.”

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The Toy Story ride is part ride, part video game and was really fun.  We waited about 45 minutes to ride it, which was our longest wait for a ride during the entire trip.

We also enjoyed eating at Pizza Planet, our dessert was a GIANT chocolate cupcake that was SO GOOD.  The kids played arcade games for awhile, which wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend time at Disney World, but they were having fun and we didn’t really feel like it was worth telling them “no.”

Other things we liked:  The Muppets 3D movie, the stunt show, and meeting Woody, Buzz, Lightning McQueen, and Mater.  Don’t tell anyone, but I was as excited as the kids to meet them.  Maybe more.  I’ll never admit to that, though.

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Hollywood Studios had a Pixar parade with lots of great characters.  We were a little disappointed that Lightning and Mater weren’t in the parade, but it was still a really great parade.

That night we had another character dinner, this time with Cinderella, Prince Charming, and her evil stepmom and stepsisters, Lady Tremaine, Druzilla, and Anastacia.  We got to go to the swanky Grande Floridian to 1900 Park Fare for the dinner.  The stepsisters were hilarious!  Cinderella and Prince Charming were sweet and gracious.  Tate is not a fan of buffets, but we both thought the food was really tasty.

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Tuesday

We got up early Tuesday to get to Animal Kingdom and go on the safari because Shelly said that morning was the best time to see the animals.  And see animals we did!  Giraffes crossing the road, rhinos, elephants, and a male lion, perched up on a hill.  We were all in awe.

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Lunch could have been a HUGE disaster, they forgot to give Ella her food, then Tate spilled a full Diet Coke all over the table, himself, and Ella.  In the real world, this would have probably ruined the rest of the day, but in Disney World, we all just shrugged our shoulders, laughed, and wiped up the mess.  Seriously, I only mention this because it was nearly as amazing at the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom.

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Poor Carson freaked out during the Bugs Life 3D movie, but the rest of us thought it was great.  At the end, the seats felt like bugs were running underneath and behind you.  I can see why Carson freaked out a little, but it was pretty funny.

After the parade, we rushed back to our hotel because we had dinner reservations at Downtown Disney at Fulton’s Crab House.  Ella fell asleep on the bus, so Tate carried her what seemed like a 20 mile walk to the restaurant.  Once we were seated, we learned that our Dining Plan couldn’t be used there.  Again, this is something that normally would just turn a perfectly fun evening into something NOT fun, but instead we just headed over Raglan’s.  It was an Irish pub that served Guinness, so really it was probably the perfect place for us.  We sat outside and enjoyed our dinners.

After dinner, we planned to browse all the shops at Downtown Disney, but it was ridiculously crowded.  After trying to look in a few stores, we decided to go back to the resort and watch the fireworks and the Electrical Water Parade from the dock at Wilderness Lodge.  I don’t think I care to ever go back to Downtown Disney.

Wednesday

We were so excited for Wednesday and our visit to Epcot.  While we were there, Epcot was hosting the International Food and Wine Festival and all during the week, Tate and I had been hoarding our dining plan snacks to redeem as we traveled through World Showcase.  Oh you guys, the food was AMAZING.  So were the beers, particularly those in the biergarten in Germany.  Tate and I really, really enjoyed those.

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There were a few rides that we rode, but we mostly hung out and walked around World Showcase.  The kids seemed to have fun anyway, there was a mime in Italy that was really good, even for a mime.  For dinner we ate in Germany at Biergarten restaurant.  This was another buffet that was, OH MY GOODNESS, SO good.  We really enjoyed the band and the kids and I even got out and danced.  And they had more beer, very, very large beer, so it’s a good thing that we had a bus driver for the ride back.

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IMG_8289 (please pretend you don’t see the spot in between my boobs. Sweat? Dribbling beer? I don’t know. You just can’t take me ANYWHERE.)

So that was our trip to Disney World. It seemed like there was a surprise around every corner and yes, it was truly magical. We can’t wait to go back, even though I can’t imagine that another trip could ever be as amazing as this one.  I want to thank Shelly for all of her help in planning our trip, she did such a great job guiding us in the right direction and gave really GREAT advice.  Thank you, Shelly.  I also want to thank all the people who offered advice and tips.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Crumb trail

Just WriteI’ve stopped going barefoot in my kitchen. Too many crumbs. Too many things to do to do anything about the crumbs. My eyes and my time are directed at the computer. Click, click, click. Crumbs on my feet.

I can hear the kids downstairs with their vroom vroom noises. Wait? Is that an “I’m hurt” cry? No, not this time. I’m relieved, yes that the cry isn’t one I need to run to, but I’m relieved they are occupied without me. Without the TV. It makes me feel less guilty. They’re playing, old fashioned, get on the floor, run trucks back and forth against the carpet playing.

It’s just a matter of time, I know it is, before I hear their step, step, steps up the stairs.  Click, get a glass of milk, click, click, break up a fight, click, “I’m sorry Carson, will you tell me that again, I didn’t hear what you said the first time?”  He knows better.  He knows about the crumbs.  They stick to his feet, too.

I wonder where the broom is?

The (good) exhausted summer

I almost cried when I dropped the kids off on their last day of school.  Oh, it wasn’t because I was sad.  School ending felt like personal affront to me.

Visions filled my mind of Carson and Ella, zombie-like and drooling in front of the TV, surrounded by spent fruit roll up wrappers (organic, OF COURSE). I imagined myself unshowered and muttering nonsense.  So the first night of summer vacation I made a schedule of our daily activities, from writing practice and reading, to scheduled rest times and craft times, with a designated ONE HOUR ONLY of TV time each day.  (Stop laughing at me.)

But you know what?  It’s all been okay.  The schedule lasted for about two days and then the pool opened.  Summer went from being something I’d dreaded to breathing in my kids sunshine and sunscreened, sidewalk chalk, and popsicle scented little bodies.  I think I kind of love summer.

Well, maybe it could be a little better if they’d sleep past 6:30 and if I didn’t have to hear, “Mom! Mom! Watch me!” over and over at the pool.

 

Birthday party hosting neurosis

If I’m being completely honest, which, I am, I have to say that one of my least favorite aspects of parenting is the whole birthday party thing.

My aversion is specific to kids birthday parties and the throwing thereof, as I very much enjoy inviting my adult friends over to eat and drink and be merry.  Carré d’agneau au moutarde with gratin dauphinois, adult conversation, no problem!  Pizza, cake, and ice cream and children just about gives me hives.  I feel nervous and clammy, and thoughts of “I’m never doing this again, next time they can invite one friend over to play for a twenty minutes where I’ll serve capri suns and Ho-Ho’s” run through my head as I make the third batch of buttercream icing with a cramped hand.

And all of you other parents!  You keep throwing these fabulous parties at jumpy houses and gymnastics places and pizza joints, so I can’t very well tell my Carson and Ella, “Sorry, kid, all of your friends get parties, but you don’t.  Can I just give you $50 and call it even?”

In my former life as a Speech-Language Pathologist, I basically entertained children for a living, making saying /r/ and /s/ “thupah” fun.  (Get it?!)  But entertaining children at birthday parties is STRESSFUL, it’s just so much PRESSURE.  I feel like there are expectations, expectations from preschoolers for a good time, expectations from parents for I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT, but STILL.

So of course when Ella asked for a Mario party for her 4th party I silently cursed very bad words that start with “f” and end in “uckity” and set off to figure out how the heck I would pull off a Mario party.   Thank goodness Shab came to the rescue and helped me out.  She had some awesome ideas.

Despite my birthday party hosting neurosis, I’m pretty sure I met all expectations, including my own.

We played Pin the Mustache on Mario, complete with a Mario that drew with my very own hands.

(Ella wore both Princess Peach and Luigi costumes for the party.  Carson was Mario.)

Since Mario collects coins in the Super Mario games, the kids had a coin scavenger hunt.  I thought this game would be sort of a dud, but it wasn’t.  At all.  Carson is still talking about it.

I made chocolate cupcakes with both regular and chocolate buttercream icing.  I made the cupcake toppers, but I also saw them on Etsy.  I made the cupcakes stand with cardboard cake rounds, styrofoam, and wrapping paper, inspired by this tutorial.

For the party favors, I made item boxes from mini Chinese takeout containers I found at Hobby Lobby and glued a yellow question to each.  They were filled with Mario stickers, mini Mario markers, and more coins.  I also found some mustaches on sticks that we gave everyone, found on Etsy.

If I’m being completely honest, which, I am, one of the best things about being a parent is the genuine “thank you!” and , “Mom!  That was the most fun party ever.”  That doesn’t mean I enjoyed planning the party, NO, but I guess it was worth it.

 

 

We’ve been busy

Saturday was race day, after ten weeks of training for a 5K.  Chip time:  33:38. 10K training starts this summer.

Sunday was Mother’s Day and it started off with a Monster Truck Rally in bed. (Who needs breakfast in bed when you can have monster trucks?)  The weather was beautiful, the children were well behaved, and I got to read an entire book without being disturbed. (Affiliate link.)

Monday was Ella’s fourth birthday.  I have so much to say about my baby turning four, but I still need to process that she continues to get older and bigger and farther from being my baby.  (This photo was taken as soon as she woke up.  “Good morning, Mommy.  I’m four years old now.”  And later that day, “Mommy, four year olds don’t suck their thumbs.”  We shall see…)

 

How are you?

First born child

I double triple quadruple checked the papers, cross referencing what I was holding with the list the school had mailed weeks ago.

Immunization form?  Yes
Proof of residency?  Yes
Birth certificate?  Wait, where is it???  Oh here it is.  Yes.
Social Security Number?  Yes

I carefully stacked and re-stacked the forms, bundling them together with a large paper clip (no, that didn’t work), a manila folder (what if something falls out?), and finally decided to put the forms (rechecked again) (and once more) into a large clear plastic bag.

***

No, I’m not bringing my camera to take pictures.  It’s ONLY Kindergarten Roundup.  Eye rolls and exasperation and missing patience, their presence and absence noted.

***

We drove separately so he could go straight to work afterwards.  I wished he would drive so that I could just ride and look out the window and recheck the forms a time or two before we got to school.   I pulled into the wrong parking lot and decided it was a sign that this was a terrible school since they didn’t have proper signage.  I did a three point turn with middle schoolers watching (gah!) because I had really, really pulled into the wrong parking lot and then when I finally found the right parking lot I passed no less than ten empty parking spaces.  I know this because when I finally did park and meet Tate at the front door of the school, he pointed out all the open spaces.  See? That one, that one, that one, and that one?

I kind of wanted to punch him in the nose and run away with the children back to the car and drive home as fast as the car would carry us, lock the doors and close the blinds, and hold Carson in my arms.

But we went inside the school.  Carson pretended to be invisible behind Tate’s legs and I pretended to be very busy holding Ella’s hand and being the keeper of the forms and not someone of the verge crying.

***

I felt like the star pupil when the Assistant Principal checked my forms and they were all in order!   So maybe the school wasn’t so bad, poor signage not withstanding.  The teachers were all smiling and the parents all look terrified, just like me, and Carson still hid even further behind Tate’s legs.  There were more forms to fill out.  Occupation, Mother’s maiden name (my maiden name, not my mother‘s maiden name because *I* am the parent now), emergency contacts, preferred hospital.   And all they want is my first born child.  For Kindergarten.

***

Carson got a 94 on his mini-evaluation, needs to work on why questions and fine motor skills, we’ll work on those over the summer we promised.   What a relief, silly really, as if we didn’t already know he was smart.

He never cried and I didn’t cry either (on the outside), so we headed to the donut shop to celebrate.