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Parenting Confessions

Written on August 2, 2012 by Jennifer in Little Monkeys, Mommydom, Pictures, Randomness

1. You know those library summer reading programs? Kids read a certain number of minutes or books and at the end of the summer, they get prizes. My kids? HATED it. HATED. IT. After a few weeks of yelling and tears to get them to read for a measly 20 minutes a day, I gave up. We watched lots of Netflix instead.

We are summer reading program drop outs and I’m okay with that.

2. We didn’t eat at Chick-Fil-A yesterday or anytime recently. Not because we were making a political statement, but because my kids don’t actually like eating chicken in general. They just go for the play area. Too bad our local sushi place doesn’t have a play area because THAT would really get my kids excited. They love sushi and that soup with the two mushrooms that Japanese restaurants serve.

3. I’m trying to influence Ella to choose gymnastics over soccer this fall. We only allow them to choose one activity to participate in at a time. Ella is actually doing well in gymnastics, but lately she’s been saying she wants to play soccer. Well. She has played soccer before and within a few weeks, grows bored, cries at games, and I just…would rather not deal with that. Also, gymnastics is once a week on Tuesdays! GLORY!! Yucky old soccer is twice a week, including early on Saturday mornings. BOOOOO! Add in the fact that Carson will be playing soccer, that means we’ll be at the soccer fields a minimum of four times a week. QUADRUPLE BOO!

I’ve been feeding her a steady diet of Olympics Women’s Gymnastics in hopes that I can tip the scales back to gymnastics.

4. I’m feeling far less weepy about Ella starting Kindergarten than I was for Carson. In fact, I’m sort of giddy with excitement about it. Just think! FIVE DAYS A WEEK of sweet, sweet silence.

5. We have had a ridiculously busy summer. Two trips to St. Louis in two weeks, swimming lessons, more swimming, a visit to a waterpark, baseball games, children’s museum, local parks, splash pads, sprinklers, easy bake oven baking, ice cream making, bike riding, camping, fishing, boating….I have to say, I ROCK as mom.

6. I have ignored my kids quite a bit this summer while catching up on reading. So, yeah, I don’t always rock as a mom. So far I’ve read and liked: Bel Canto, The Dovekeepers, The Night Circus, The Devil in the White City, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao,and The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb. I’ve also read and didn’t really like: The Recipe Club and Petty Magic. I’m currently reading The Witching Hour and it’s SO GOOD. (All those links are affiliate links, suckers!) (Just kidding about the suckers part.) (I’m just trying to get extremely wealthy off affiliate links.) (Thanks for understanding.)

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Proper Care and Feeding of Your Wild Animal

Written on June 27, 2012 by Jennifer in Hallmark, Little Monkeys, Mommydom

Topping the scales at a whopping 31 pounds and standing at a towering 41 inches, Ella is a five-year-old mini powerhouse. Wearing her size 4T skorts, cinched at the waist so they’ll stay up, she looks sweet and innocent–and certainly she is!–but dare cross her or *gasp!* call her “little?” You had better watch your back.

Playdates and trips to the park are often interrupted by Ella screaming at another child, “I! Am NOT! LITTLE!” Hands on hips, her eyebrows set at an angry angle, and her lips stuck out and pursed, you could almost believe her insistence that she is in fact big and not little. There is a lot of personality and passion stuffed inside that tiny girl.

Carson and Ella, being 18 months apart, are usually the best of friends. They have many of the same interests and depend on each other when they are unsure in new situations. But they are siblings, after all, so they have their fair share of squabbles. Like any kids, they argue about the unfairness of life and sharing toys and like flipping a switch, they quickly forgive and forget.

That is, unless you call Ella little, which is exactly what Carson did one day with the orneriest, most mocking face and tone of voice you can imagine out of a brother. Big mistake. HUGE.

It started out like any argument. Someone took a toy the other wanted to play with. Some “mines” and “not fairs” were thrown around for good measure, but when that wasn’t working, Carson decided to kick it up a notch with some good ol’ fashioned sister ribbing.

“Yeah?” he said, “Well I guess I’ll let you have this toy, but it’s only because you are LITTLE.”

In an instant, Ella pounced like a tiger on Carson’s back and began pulling hair, scratching, and punching, her eyes wild with anger.

“I’M NOT LITTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” she wailed.

It was equally horrifying and hilarious. Horrifying that my sweet little girl attacked her brother like a wild animal, but hilarious that she, well, attacked her brother like a wild animal. Simultaneously stifling a laugh and a gasp of horror, Tate pried Ella off Carson’s back, one ~~claw~~ finger at a time. Carson was basically unharmed, though possibly psychologically scarred. His eyes were as round as saucers, shocked that she actually attacked.

After a time-out, for Ella’s punishment and Tate and I to compose ourselves, we had a discussion with her about not attacking people, hitting is wrong, scratching is wrong, hair pulling is wrong, you know, the standard parental lecture. We carefully broached the subject of her size, being careful not to confirm that she is little, but that she’s just the size she’s meant to be.

“Don’t listen when other people tell you that you’re little, Ella! You’re perfect just the way God made you.” She nodded in agreement, but I could see that she wasn’t really buying into any hint that she could be little.

So just a heads up, if you ever meet Ella, nix the word “little” from your vocabulary.

Check out Hallmark’s new Bug ‘Em line, perfect for siblings who “bug” each other! (Get it?!) Actually, this series of cards, books, and creatures is the perfect way to celebrate the little things that make being a kid a special occasion. Check them out here!

Thanks so much to Hallmark for inviting me to be a part of their Life is a Special Occasion campaign this year. While I am compensated for my work, I love getting to share these special occasions. Because life truly is a special occasion, each and every moment.

Sign up here for Hallmark’s e-newsletter to get special offers and discounts!

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Discoveries

Written on June 26, 2012 by Jennifer in blogging, Mommydom, playing along

(photo credit: Flickr)

I remember the thrill of the discovery, like I had unearthed a secret treasure.

Lonely and isolated as a new mom, I woke up each morning before the sun and with the cries of a hungry baby, followed by naps, laundry, more cries of a hungry baby, followed by more naps, more cries, bedtime. The next day was exactly the same, as was the day after that, and the day after that.

Of course, it wasn’t all bad! Motherhood was just…not what I imagined it to be. In boredom, I went online, clicking one website after another, when one day I read the words of a mother. I don’t remember them exactly, but her message spoke to my soul, the secret place inside of me that couldn’t admit outloud that I didn’t know what I was doing and that most days I wanted to escape, even if just for 15 minutes. This discovery, a mother–just like me, staying home with a baby all day–confessed in writing that being a mom was hard, wonderful, exhausting, boring, fulfilling, gratifying, and every other adjective I had also secretly thought only to myself.

It’s liberating to know you’re not alone, but it’s also enlightening to learn that your own knowledge of the world is not the only reality.

I have kept reading. For years, I’ve read about what other parents have dealt with, how they do what they do with each obstacle they face. I’ve read about triumphs and tragedies, daily quips and years long sagas. I have learned what they think of their vacuum cleaners and their congressmen and women. I read about parents who have such radically different parenting styles and beliefs than my own safe, sanitary bubble style parenting. I continue to read and learn.

Discovering women writers online has influenced who I am and the way I parent today. My world, which formerly consisted of only what I knew intimately and maybe of what I saw on TV or read in novels, is now wide open. Before blogging, I didn’t know anyone personally who homeschooled their children, or gave birth at home, filed for bankruptcy, was Mormon or Jewish, or was a single parent. I’ve found that it’s much easier to have an open mind about things I personally know nothing about, when you’ve read someone’s words and their story–and realized that their opinions and actions are shaped by their experiences just as my opinions and actions are shaped by my own experiences.

What I’ve read for these past six years has influenced how I feel about spanking, processed foods, vaccinations, potty training, education options, religion, cleaning products, and, oh, everything else that I might possibly have ever thought about. When I have parenting questions, the first place I look is online and the parenting writers are usually whose opinions I search and trust the most. In the past, I’ve even written about concerns I’ve had about my own children’s development and have received words of wisdom from friends and strangers far and wide, giving me a virtual pat on the back or hug when I’ve needed it.

Now that I work from home, an option that is partially available to me because of my online interactions for all these years, I’ve taken a cue from other working mothers to learn how to “do” this working thing. From organization tips, to quick recipes, reasonable expectations of babysitters, to balancing (or not!) work and home life, this online space has helped me figure out how to get it all into 24 hours each day.

This is the person that I am today, influenced by more than just my own little bubble wrapped world: the working mom of two school-age children, wife, half-marathon runner, wrinkle cream junkie, recycling fanatic, organic milk buyer, occasional coupon clipper, obsessive email labeler, friend, open-minded, woman writer.

I’ve partnered with Story Bleed Magazine and P&G to celebrate the launch of mom.me. To celebrate their launch, mom.me is hosting a carnival of stories to discuss how technology and online communities of moms have shaped the way we parent.

You, too, can join this conversation with mom.me. Let’s talk about how this little (huge) online world we’ve made for ourselves on the Internet is creating us, changing us as parents. Join this carnival, join this conversation.

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Eavesdropping

Written on October 25, 2011 by Jennifer in Mommydom, playing along, working mom

“Can I ask you a very candid question?” her voice boomed across the small seating area of the local coffee shop. Her hair is state fair hair and I can smell her perfume all the way over here.

“Of course,” she replied tentatively. Black suit, unassuming haircut. Quieter. She looks like she hasn’t slept well in about 13 years.

“You seem so OVER it all.”

I can’t even hear the reply, their voices are suddenly hushed.

I have six articles due by the end of the day. My eye is twitching, reminding me that I really need make that eye appointment. I forgot to buy a hula hoop for Carson’s birthday this Friday and I’ve looked at my calendar and can’t figure out how I could possibly fit in a shopping trip.

I hope I get to shower today.

I can hear the women talking again.

“Do you think it’s because you regret volunteering for it?”

“I felt backed into a corner. You know how she is. I should have said no.”

Ella has a fall party at school today, but I’m not going. I feel really badly about not going, other parents will be there and I hope that she won’t feel sad when I don’t show up.

I did send in some pretzels, so there’s that.

It’s just that I can’t be in two places at once I have this long list of deadlines and…

Really? I’d just rather go to my running class than serve candy corn and pretzels to four-year-olds.

I’m not OVER it all, though. Not really. I wish that I had more to give everyone, sure, but I feel like I’m giving something to myself for a change.

She probably won’t even miss me at her fall party.

Booming voice lady isn’t really listening to black suit lady. She keeps trying to convince her to keep giving. More and more and more.

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This May Be Proof that Disney Pumps Magical Pixie Dust Into Their Air. There’s Really No Other Explanation

Written on October 19, 2011 by Jennifer in Little Monkeys, Lucky Me, marriage, Mommydom, Pictures

There is no way that the words that I arrange and type here could ever convey just how magical our trip to Disney World was. Simply, it was the trip of a lifetime.

Before I can really tell you anything specific about Disney, I need to give you a little back story on the dynamics of my family. We are not exactly the best at getting along, particularly in slightly stressful situations (travel, crowds, trying something new…). Tate and I snip at one another, I hate to use this word-but it’s the truth-we snip at one another CONSTANTLY when we’re stressed. Our kids have always been the type of kids to throw tantrums, even in the tamest circumstances, let alone on an exhausting five day trip to Disney World complete with late nights and crabby parents. You should go out to dinner with us sometime. We are SO MUCH FUN to hang around.

Then there’s my control freak tendencies. Since I did the majority of the planning for the trip, I felt the entire weight of responsibility that everything MUST go well on the trip. Reservation glitches, weather, the kids behavior, wait times at restaurants-all things that I can’t actually control-I knew I’d feel defensive if things weren’t going just as I’d planned.

These are things that I worried about this before the trip. I wanted it to be perfect. I didn’t want US to be the reason that the trip was a flop.

Something truly miraculous happened. Maybe Disney pumps magical, calming pixie dust into the air, or they spike our drinks with xanax, I DON’T KNOW, but (almost) everything about our trip was PERFECT. We all behaved and got along well and had the best time we’ve ever had together as a family.

Every night, the kids were visited by the Fairy Godmother, who left them a little gift. (This idea came from my dental hygienist! They know more than just teeth cleaning!) The kids ate this up and loved finding little gifts every morning. Before we left, I went to the Disney store at the mall and bought a few little items and some gift cards so they’d have their own money to spend at the parks. I wrote about how we told the kids about the trip, complete with their first visit from the Fairy Godmother at Southern By Proxy. This part wasn’t really magical at all.

Here’s a rundown of everyday of our vacation, the FOOD! The PARADES! The FUN, all the MAGIC! I know this is long, but I just wanted to do a one and done post, rather than a series of posts. Okay?

Saturday

We arrived at our resort, the Wilderness Lodge, and it was POURING rain. The entire seven story lobby was filled with families playing board games, children coloring and hula hooping, families sitting in front of the large fire place, rocking back and forth in the rocking chairs. It was like something out of a movie.

Our room had a great view of the lake and woods, the kids were SO EXCITED that our room had bunk beds. We unpacked, then headed back to the lobby where Carson LITERALLY (yes, LITERALLY) hula hooped for two hours. TWO HOURS. Ella bounced from activity to activity, many led by Disney staff, coloring and playing games. After TWO HOURS, we finally convinced Carson to go back up to the room to relax before dinner.

We had reservations at 7:50 at our resort’s sit down restaurant, Whispering Canyon Cafe. This was the only place that we had to wait a long time (45 minutes) to be seated. By the time we were seated the kids were exhausted (HULA HOOPING! TWO HOURS), but our server was sweet and did her best to be quick. The food was fabulous. Since we got the free Disney Dining Plan promotion, we were also entitled to dessert. They boxed up our caramel apple pies because we were too full and too tired to eat anything else.

Sunday

I checked the weather forecast for Orlando and it called for rain every single day of our trip. 100% chance.

So we bought, or rather invested in, some ponchos and boarded the bus for Magic Kingdom.

“We’re going to have fun, it doesn’t matter if it rains,” Tate said. This? Coming from Tate, Mr. Pessimistic? Proof of magical pixie dust?

We had breakfast reservations for Crystal Palace, a character meal with Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, and Piglet. The food was all great, the kids LOVED their chocolate Mickey Mouse waffles that were basically brownies. Brownies for breakfast! It’s Disney World so it’s OKAY! Carson and Ella were excited to meet the characters and get their autograph books signed. They characters did a little Friendship Day dance that was a little lame, but it was sweet.

The first thing we’d planned to do right after breakfast was to get a stroller and get a “1st visit” badge, but it was raining SO HARD. Ella saw Cinderella’s castle and desperately wanted to go there, so we just bypassed the stroller and badges and headed through the nearly blinding rain straight for the castle.

But we were all HAPPY. The rain was annoying, yes, but we were standing right in front of Cinderella’s castle! And then there were all these great rides! The carousel, It’s a Small World, and the Peter Pan ride. I never want to forget standing in line, Tate’s hand in the small of my back, looking at each other and silently saying, “This is perfect, isn’t it?”

We loved how most of the lines and rides were all covered so we didn’t have to stand in the rain. As the day went on, the sun even came out a few times. The whole day was spent riding rides and our favorite was the Buzz Lightyear ride. We also stumbled upon a parade and got a front row view. It was just amazing, the float and characters were so much fun to watch.

After a mid afternoon rest back in our room, we went back to Magic Kingdom for the Electric parade (AWESOME) and fireworks show (Also, AWESOME. What we weren’t expecting was the movie they played on the facade of the castle. It brought tears to my eyes. The kids were really tired so we were holding them and somehow I ended up holding Carson. My arms and back were on fire, but during the show, he hugged me and gave me a kiss. Aw man, that right there was worth every penny spent on the vacation.

This was one of the very best days of my life.

Monday

Monday was Hollywood Studios day and the rain had miraculously stopped. As directed by Shelly, our fantastic travel agent, we got there before they opened and headed straight to the Toy Story ride. Tate didn’t really get that all those people around us, THOUSANDS of people, were all heading to the exact same place. He kept checking the map and saying, “yes, this is the right way.” I kept saying, “Yes, it is. I think ALL of these people are going to the same place.”

The Toy Story ride is part ride, part video game and was really fun. We waited about 45 minutes to ride it, which was our longest wait for a ride during the entire trip.

We also enjoyed eating at Pizza Planet, our dessert was a GIANT chocolate cupcake that was SO GOOD. The kids played arcade games for awhile, which wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend time at Disney World, but they were having fun and we didn’t really feel like it was worth telling them “no.”

Other things we liked: The Muppets 3D movie, the stunt show, and meeting Woody, Buzz, Lightning McQueen, and Mater. Don’t tell anyone, but I was as excited as the kids to meet them. Maybe more. I’ll never admit to that, though.

Hollywood Studios had a Pixar parade with lots of great characters. We were a little disappointed that Lightning and Mater weren’t in the parade, but it was still a really great parade.

That night we had another character dinner, this time with Cinderella, Prince Charming, and her evil stepmom and stepsisters, Lady Tremaine, Druzilla, and Anastacia. We got to go to the swanky Grande Floridian to 1900 Park Fare for the dinner. The stepsisters were hilarious! Cinderella and Prince Charming were sweet and gracious. Tate is not a fan of buffets, but we both thought the food was really tasty.

Tuesday

We got up early Tuesday to get to Animal Kingdom and go on the safari because Shelly said that morning was the best time to see the animals. And see animals we did! Giraffes crossing the road, rhinos, elephants, and a male lion, perched up on a hill. We were all in awe.

Lunch could have been a HUGE disaster, they forgot to give Ella her food, then Tate spilled a full Diet Coke all over the table, himself, and Ella. In the real world, this would have probably ruined the rest of the day, but in Disney World, we all just shrugged our shoulders, laughed, and wiped up the mess. Seriously, I only mention this because it was nearly as amazing at the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom.

Poor Carson freaked out during the Bugs Life 3D movie, but the rest of us thought it was great. At the end, the seats felt like bugs were running underneath and behind you. I can see why Carson freaked out a little, but it was pretty funny.

After the parade, we rushed back to our hotel because we had dinner reservations at Downtown Disney at Fulton’s Crab House. Ella fell asleep on the bus, so Tate carried her what seemed like a 20 mile walk to the restaurant. Once we were seated, we learned that our Dining Plan couldn’t be used there. Again, this is something that normally would just turn a perfectly fun evening into something NOT fun, but instead we just headed over Raglan’s. It was an Irish pub that served Guinness, so really it was probably the perfect place for us. We sat outside and enjoyed our dinners.

After dinner, we planned to browse all the shops at Downtown Disney, but it was ridiculously crowded. After trying to look in a few stores, we decided to go back to the resort and watch the fireworks and the Electrical Water Parade from the dock at Wilderness Lodge. I don’t think I care to ever go back to Downtown Disney.

Wednesday

We were so excited for Wednesday and our visit to Epcot. While we were there, Epcot was hosting the International Food and Wine Festival and all during the week, Tate and I had been hoarding our dining plan snacks to redeem as we traveled through World Showcase. Oh you guys, the food was AMAZING. So were the beers, particularly those in the biergarten in Germany. Tate and I really, really enjoyed those.

There were a few rides that we rode, but we mostly hung out and walked around World Showcase. The kids seemed to have fun anyway, there was a mime in Italy that was really good, even for a mime. For dinner we ate in Germany at Biergarten restaurant. This was another buffet that was, OH MY GOODNESS, SO good. We really enjoyed the band and the kids and I even got out and danced. And they had more beer, very, very large beer, so it’s a good thing that we had a bus driver for the ride back.

(please pretend you don’t see the spot in between my boobs. Sweat? Dribbling beer? I don’t know. You just can’t take me ANYWHERE.)

So that was our trip to Disney World. It seemed like there was a surprise around every corner and yes, it was truly magical. We can’t wait to go back, even though I can’t imagine that another trip could ever be as amazing as this one. I want to thank Shelly for all of her help in planning our trip, she did such a great job guiding us in the right direction and gave really GREAT advice. Thank you, Shelly. I also want to thank all the people who offered advice and tips. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Crumb trail

Written on September 20, 2011 by Jennifer in Mommydom, playing along, working mom

I’ve stopped going barefoot in my kitchen. Too many crumbs. Too many things to do to do anything about the crumbs. My eyes and my time are directed at the computer. Click, click, click. Crumbs on my feet.

I can hear the kids downstairs with their vroom vroom noises. Wait? Is that an “I’m hurt” cry? No, not this time. I’m relieved, yes that the cry isn’t one I need to run to, but I’m relieved they are occupied without me. Without the TV. It makes me feel less guilty. They’re playing, old fashioned, get on the floor, run trucks back and forth against the carpet playing.

It’s just a matter of time, I know it is, before I hear their step, step, steps up the stairs. Click, get a glass of milk, click, click, break up a fight, click, “I’m sorry Carson, will you tell me that again, I didn’t hear what you said the first time?” He knows better. He knows about the crumbs. They stick to his feet, too.

I wonder where the broom is?

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The (good) exhausted summer

Written on June 8, 2011 by Jennifer in Little Monkeys, Mommydom, Pictures, Quirky Me

I almost cried when I dropped the kids off on their last day of school. Oh, it wasn’t because I was sad. School ending felt like personal affront to me.

Visions filled my mind of Carson and Ella, zombie-like and drooling in front of the TV, surrounded by spent fruit roll up wrappers (organic, OF COURSE). I imagined myself unshowered and muttering nonsense. So the first night of summer vacation I made a schedule of our daily activities, from writing practice and reading, to scheduled rest times and craft times, with a designated ONE HOUR ONLY of TV time each day. (Stop laughing at me.)

But you know what? It’s all been okay. The schedule lasted for about two days and then the pool opened. Summer went from being something I’d dreaded to breathing in my kids sunshine and sunscreened, sidewalk chalk, and popsicle scented little bodies. I think I kind of love summer.

Well, maybe it could be a little better if they’d sleep past 6:30 and if I didn’t have to hear, “Mom! Mom! Watch me!” over and over at the pool.

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