Probably the Only Jennifer Beals Reference You’ll Ever See Here
[Pictures DELETED!]
She’s a maniac, maniac on the floor, and she’s dancing like she’s never danced befor-or-ore.
Shhh. It’s Wordless Wednesday.
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Nice to Meet You
I'm Jennifer, Mom to Carson, 2, and Ella, 1. Wife and Bossaholic to Tate. My claim to fame is that I'm the #10 search result on Google for "kids pooping in pools." You can follow me on twitter, see my stumbles at StumbleUpon, and contact me by email. -
Book List for 2008
Pillars of the EarthB-
East of EdenA-
The Kite Runner
Memory Keeper's Daughter
Water for Elephants
Nineteen Minutes
HP and the Deathly HallowsA++
Running W/ ScissorsA
The Rabbit Factory
Waiting for Birdy
Life of PiA
Outlander
Entries Tagged as 'Pictures'
Hungover. An Analysis of Overeating. Also, Cake Decorating Critique.
Why? WHY??? Why do I eat SO MUCH food, knowing how rotten I’ll feel afterwards???
This past weekend, we celebrated Ella’s first birthday with five pounds of pulled pork, six slabs of ribs, 27 gallons (not really, but A LOT) of potato salad, 40 tons (kidding!) of baked beans, and a huge sheet cake covered in homemade buttercream icing.
Also, beer.
I’m certain that I ate my weight, well my previous weight in food this weekend. Friday, I ate at least 2 cups of icing. “Butter, I’d like to introduce you to my ass. Ass, this is butter.”
If I owned a scale, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it screamed at me, “You’ve gained 27 pounds, you idiot. Ever heard of putting the fork down? Dummy.”
Eventhough my brain told me that my stomach was BEYOND full, I just kept shoveling it in. WHY??? Why can’t I stop when I’m full? I didn’t need seconds! Or thirds! Or to eat on Sunday at all! I’m suffering from a massive food hangover right now. Can you hear me moaning??
I promised pictures of my painstakingly decorated cake. Seriously, I’m so full right now that even looking at this cake makes me feel even more ill. **moan**
Since I’m already moaning and groaning, let’s discuss my cake decorating woes. CRUMBS! I curse you crumbs! Despite my crumb layer and putting the cake in the fridge before the final layer, the icing was still crummy. Delicious, yes, but so crummy. Grrr. Also, even with the fancy tips, I had a really hard time making a pretty edge. And the writing on the cake! Carson could have done a better job. **moooooo-oooh-ooan**
The Line Forms Here
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Quite the helpful boy
Offered to clean up spilled milk
Husband in training
Yesterday, after having just mopped the floor, Ella purposely dropped her sippy cup FULL of very expensive organic milk, which promptly spilled and left a huge mess for me to clean up.
I spend the majority of my days wondering if my son has been possessed by a teenage premenstral girl with all of his irrational tanturms and drama. Sometimes, however, Carson’s female characteristics suit him well. After seeing the spilled milk, his womanly intuition told him that Mommy was very angry (or maybe, just maybe, he heard me cursing under my breath and saw my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and heard my fists pound on the countertop…either way).
“It’s otay, Mommy. Tawson twean it up!” [Carson clean it up.]
I watched in awe as he searched for his play vacuum cleaner. (”Batuum?? Batuum?? [vacuum] Where are you??” Could you just die from the cuteness!) Proudly he brought it into the kitchen and began “vacuuming” the area around Ella’s high chair.
Looking very proud, he said, “Mommy not andwy [angry]! All twean!”
Everybody together now….”Aaaaaaah!”
I’m willing to begin taking applications for those interested in being his future wife. The line forms here.
Cake!
It has been SIX WHOLE DAYS since Ella’s first birthday and I haven’t posted even ONE cake eating extravaganza picture. And I call myself a mommyblogger. I should be put on probation!
(My inner Martha Stewart feels that I must explain this ugly cake. Pardon my inability to remain silent for Wordless Wednesday. I’m baking and decorating a luau themed cake with real buttercream icing for her birthday party this weekend. I opted to use shhhhhcanned frostingshhhhh and sprinkles for her on-her-birthday birthday cake. I feel better getting that off my chest.) (Would also feel better if I could scrape the remains of all this cake I’ve eaten off my ass.)
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I dunno about this headband, Mom. I look stupid.
No you don’t! You look precious. Leave it on so Mommy can get pictures! I’ll give you caaaake!
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Hmmm? Cake, you say?
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Can’t. Talk. Eating. Nom, nom, nom. Munch, munch, munch. Cake GOOD.
High five for cake!
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To go see people who follow the rules of Wordless Wednesday, go here!
For Ella
On this date, just one
year ago, I first met you
My beautiful girl
Your feet were so big
for your wee little body
So was your wailing
Week after week you cried
pleading for me to help you
My heart was broken
Eventually
smiles emerged, I forgave
and basked in your light
You blossomed and grew
becoming my laughing girl
Social and snuggly
Charming everyone
Smiling, you wave, and say hi
You make me so proud
Not so secretly
I soak up every minute
being your favorite
You are one, my sweet.
I grasp for words just to say
how much I love you
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Lollipop, Lollipop, Oh Lolli, Lolli, Lolli, Lollipop…Dun, Nun, Nun, Nuh
Carson had his very first lollipop the other day.
You would have thought that I’d given him an entire gallon of yummy guacamole and a bag of tortilla chips and told him to go to town. Or possibly that’s just me.
I’d gotten two lollipops from the bank teller and decided that it would be safe to give him one as we drove back home. (To be clear, I actually was doing the driving, Carson was safely strapped into his carseat in the backseat. Just wanted to clear up any confusion.) I offered Carson the choice between red and orange and he chose the red lollipop.
It’s times like this that make me realize that I should NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave home without my camera.
The look on his face was priceless when I gave him the lollipop. It’s like he couldn’t believe I’d given him the most amazing surprise in the entire world., despite the fact that he wasn’t sure what to do with it. I explained that he was supposed to lick it.
Ever so carefully, he slowly stuck out his tongue and gently licked. His eyes grew wide, a smile spread across his face, and he started giggling.
**giggle, giggle** “This cirtle tanny is dood!” (translation: this circle candy is good!) **giggle, giggle**
“It’s called a lollipop, Carson. Do you like it?,” I asked, also giggling.
Apparently he DID like the lollipop quite well. It took him until almost dinnertime nearly four hours later to finish it, only taking a break for a short nap. Thank goodness the excitement never wore off so that I was able to get his picture.
He never did stop giggling.
These Items Won’t Be on This Week’s Grocery List
Here are two items from Carson and Ella’s play kitchen toys that confound me…
Chocolate?? Are they sure? It looks more like something you might…, well, never mind.
Okaaaaaaaay? Maybe something was lost in the translation.
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