Entries Tagged as 'playing along'

You? Have opinions. I? Want them.

Brutally Honest Mondays” border=

This is my first time participating in Mrs. Flinger’s Brutally Honest Monday.

I’d like your (brutally honest) opinion about a recent incident.

The kids and I went to watch Tate play softball last week.  Being a magnet to puddles, Carson immediately found the biggest, muddiest puddle and jumped right in.  Within seconds of getting to the ball field, Carson was soaking wet and dirty. 

There were lots of other kids around Carson, laughing at him getting all wet.   The next thing I know, I look over and a girl who looked to be at least eight or nine, was throwing handfuls of mud on Carson (and cackling manically…or so I imagined.  I mean, maybe she was.)

I was FURIOUS.

I marched over there and yelled at her to stop.  I told her how ashamed she should be for picking on such a little boy and that she should know better.  There was lots of huffing and puffing (on my part.)  Also, my face was most likely all sorts of red.

I was SO PISSED.

I made the girl apologize to Carson.  She did, half-heartedly.  Then I grabbed Carson’s hand and we marched off, with me saying the MOST mature, parental thing ever…”Let’s go play over HERE away from those MEAN kids.”

When I made it back to the bleachers, a few of the people who had witnessed THE INCIDENT, looked a little horrified.  I’m not sure if they were horrified by how I reacted or by the girl’s behavior.  Of course I assumed it was all about me.  Also, I’ve told a few people what happened and each person acted like I overreacted slightly.

Here’s what I’d like you to consider when forming your opinion…

1.  She was DEFINITELY old enough to know better than throw mud on a little kid.
2.  She was throwing the mud at his head.
3.  (Don’t forget the maniacal cackling.)

But also consider this…

1.  He was already filthy, dirty from jumping in the puddle.
2.  I probably could have left out the huffing, puffing, and stomping away with the immature retort.

I am a little nervous since this is “BRUTALLY HONEST Monday.”  Don’t think the BRUTAL part means to be, you know, too BRUTAL.  I’m tender hearted.  **bats eyelashes**

*****

Pssst…Nikon!  Hi there!  I entered your contest to win a D60 last night!  You know, I could say really nice things about your WONDERFUL cameras here on my blog…I’d sure love a camera to review!  PUH-LEASE!!!!  Kthnxbai!

Excuse Me While I “Scratch” My Balls and Pee All Over the Toilet Seat

Haiku Friday

Thanks to Neil from Citizen of the Month for this week’s Haiku Friday theme…Write like the opposite sex.  Mine is full of cliches and stereotypes!  Enjoy! 

E.S.P.N. time
Sit back, relax, *SEX*, drink beer
Is my wife talking?

Damn!  “Pick up my socks!”
All she does *SEX* is nag me
I’ll just ignore her

*SEX* I’m sure hungry
Maybe if I whine enough
Wife will bring me snacks

I work HARD all day
Can’t the kids play somewhere else?
I sure am horny

Look at Wife folding
*SEX* laundry.  I should grope her!
What?!  What did I do?!

Oh great.  Now she’s pissed.
Can’t I get some affection?
She used to be fun.

*SEX* Women’s soccer!
They should take their clothes off *SEX*
Why’s Wife mad again?????

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:
1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself. REMEMBER…ONLY sign Mr. Linky if you have a HAIKU POST.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

You Shouldn’t Be Reading This

It’s supposed to be 82 degrees today!  FIN-A-LLY!  Buh-bye cold, icky weather!

I’m going to be outside today enjoying the weather!!!   I swear that if I find out that you were sitting at your computer reading this drivel, I’m going to be MAD!  Well actually, I’d be flattered, but seriously…GO AWAY.  Go enjoy the weather while it’s not too hot.

Go.

Oooh, but wait…one more thing.  Christina and I have a theme for tomorrow’s Haiku Friday!   Neil at Citizen of the Month is asking people to write like the opposite sex tomorrow.  He’s even having a contest and I KNOW you all LOVE contests!  So that’s our theme:

Write like the opposite sex day!  This will be fun, don’t you think?  You certainly don’t have to write your haiku in this theme to participate in Haiku Friday tomorrow, but if you don’t you’ll make Ella cry. 

Photobucket
Look how happy she is!  Wouldn’t you feel bad if you made her cry?

Now GO.  Click that little red X in the corner and enjoy life outside of your computer!  See that yellow orb in the sky?  It’s called the SUN.

Hoo-Hatorial

So I think we’ve established two things.

1.  We all pee our pants.
2.  Kegels?  Huh?  We don’t really know how to do them.

Sarah at Ordinary Days, and fellow Indiana blogger, had a fine idea to have a kegel karnival.  Maybe this will get us motivated! Go check it out and add your story! 

kegel karnival!

Since many of us don’t even know how to do a kegel, I did a little research. For the betterment of all womankind, I’d like to offer you the following hoo-hatorial.  I will not be checking to make sure you read and followed these instructions, just so you know. I mean, I like you, but I don’t like you THAT much. Ew.  If you want to continue peeing yourself, be my guest.

I’ve also decided to include my personal thoughts on these instructions, in the form of parenthetical references and italics!  Enjoy!

1. Find your PC muscle. (PC stands for Pnvboehifhaihiheifh) Your PC muscle is the one that stops your tinkle. So to find it, tinkle a bit then make it stop. That’s your PC muscle.

You can also, uh, well, stick your finger…(NevermindI’m SO not going there.) If you’re interested go to this link.

2. (Phew. Found the PC muscle, am I done? No? Damn.)  Squeeze your PC muscles as hard as you can.  (I can’t?)  Squeeze for 3-5 seconds. (RiiiiiiightThat’s like a freaking eternity with these worn out muscles!)

3.  Now it’s time for reps.  (Reps??  Are you facking kidding me???)  Start with five reps.  Squeeze, hold 3-5 seconds, release. 

4.  Once you’re able to do this, work up to more repetitions and to holding each for longer.  (Super hoo-ha , here I come!)  You want to work up to 10 seconds. (10 seconds???  With my hoo-ha muscles???  Seriously, is that even possible????)

5.  Do your kegels 3-4 times per day.  (I’m going to do this the next time I’m I’Ming with Megan or talking on the phone with Heather.  Hiiiiiii!  I’m doing my hoo-ha reps RIGHT NOW!)

I hope for your sake that you’ve just spent these past few seconds aquainting yourself with your hoo-ha muscles.  Kegels can be done anywhere, anytime.  Nobody has to know that you’re doing them, although the very serious look of concentration and the counting might give it away.  Just sayin’.  Now go practice and tell your story, then link it….HERE!

********

On a completely unrelated note, catch the BOOBs tonight on BlogTalkRadio at 8:30 Eastern time as we discuss mommyblogging and branding.  Pleeeeaaaaassssse call in while practicing your kegels.  Pleeeeeaaaaassse.

Goodnight Little Girl

Haiku Friday

Calm, quiet, just us
I hold you close and feed you
In my arms, you sleep

Eyes close, mouth agape
Relaxed, your arm slowly falls
Goodnight little girl

I place you in bed,
ever so gently.  You stir,
but your thumb soothes you

The time I look forward to most each day is when I put Ella to bed. It’s the only time of the day that is free of distractions and noise. It’s the only time of the day that Ella will calmly eat. She is quickly losing interest in breastfeeding during the day, as I think she’s afraid she’ll miss out on the very exciting world around her.  But at night, she nurses hungrily at first, then slowly drifts off to sleep.

Tate and I look in on her each night before we go to be ourselves.  Seeing her lying on her side, soundly sleeping makes my heart lurch each and every time.

Just in case this is my last baby, I’m soaking her up.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

Not That I Have Any Wrinkles, You Know, But If I Did…

Disclaimer: This post is in no way an admission of having wrinkles OR of being a cheapskate. Just for the record, you know.

So. Wrinkles. They suck. I’m 32, they make my forehead look like I’m 82. Just before we moved, I decided to try my very first wrinkle cream. I hated to spend much on something that probably wouldn’t work, so I bought Wal-fart’s Equate brand Collagen Treatment Wrinkle Reducer.  It was on the shelf next to the L0real brand wrinkle cream and was about $4 cheaper.  (Total price about $11)

It’s only been about two weeks since I first used it and I’m kicking myself in the arse (again) for not taking a before picture.

Yes I realize it still looks like a huge crevice (pronounced crev-ahce since that sounds so much cooler).  However, you should have seen it before. Before it looked like the Grand Canyon, like something you could ride into on a donkey.

So this is what you do. There’s no time to waste. Close up your laptop, put the kids in the car, drive like a bat outta hell to Wal-fart and buy it RIGHT NOW. Don’t delay. Wrinkles really disappear! You want your wrinkles to disappear, don’t you??

Here’s a totally random picture of the snow from my apartamente (again the Spanish twist makes it cooler) window here in Indiana this morning. No it has absolutely nothing to do with wrinkle cream or Hot Mamas Know, but it should distract you from the fact that I may have said something about having wrinkles and being cheap. See…pretty snow….you are forgetting all about Jennifer’s wrinkles and cheap tendencies….

Tomorrow

This post is for the warrior Whymommy.

Tomorrow is her big day, the day of her double masectomy.  If you pray, send her your prayers.  If you’re not the praying kind, send her your healthy, happy, hot mama get well vibes.  Sending comments is good, too.  *hint, hint* 

Tomorrow, Whymommy, I’ll be thinking of you. 

(Thanks Canape for this great idea.)