Playgroups are No Place For Children

The Wicked Witch of W@lmart

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:00:07 +0000

Two things that I’m not particularly fond of are 1) grocery shopping WITH my children AND 2) grocery shopping at W@lmart. I know perfectly nice people (like me) shop at W@lmart, but there are definitely quite a few odd ducks that shop there, too. I’d just much rather shop at a grocery store, where odd duck encounters are few and far between. In fact, I currently live in a grocery store mecca. Within five miles of me, there are four different gourmet-ish (I made up that word) grocery stores. These stores are GORGEOUS! and NEW! and they serve coffee! and have a sushi bar! and expensive cheese! and sadly they are brutal budget killers.

Thusly, I shop at W@lmart.

Yesterday while moping through W@lmart, nervously keeping my eyes on my son, and trying to navigate around swarms of people, we happened upon an elderly woman. She looked kind and sweet, and frankly out of place in a store like W@lmart. She smiled warmly at me, as I tried to push my cart out of her way.

“Carson,” I said, “stand over here by Mommy so the lady can get by.”

The elderly women pushed her cart passed us, then bent down to say something to Carson, pointing an arthritic finger in his face while her faced suddenly changed expressions.

“Carson,” she nearly cackled, “You better stay by your mommy or…,” she paused dramatically, “the WICKED WITCH WILL GET YOU.”

Carson and I stared at her in disbelief. I was struck dumb and couldn’t think of any equally as hostile retort, other than, “come on Carson, let’s go this way.”

I still can’t wrap my brain around someone saying that to a little kid! Was this something acceptable when she was raising kids in the Middle Ages?

I dare say, this would only happen at W@lmart. (And certainly not at my estranged boyfriend’s place, Meijer.)

(On a side note, have you seen this W@lmart Bingo card? SO FUNNY!)

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Today’s FINAL Reader Appreciation giveaway comes from Fruition Designs!

Karla from Fruition Designs is offering up a printable version of holiday or mommy cards!!

To enter, just leave a comment!!

Comments will close at 7 AM, EST, November 23, 2008.

Don’t forget that you can still enter to win the Laptop Messenger Bag from Tom Bihn until tomorrow morning!!

Congratulations to T with Honey, winner of the Build a Bear Workshop gift certificate and Mom24, winner of the Sassafras Kids Pizza Making Kit!

There are worms everywhere

Jennifer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:00:30 +0000

I filled out a job application yesterday for my former school district here in Tennessee.

For some reason, with all that’s going on in my life, starting a job after THREE years at home with my children suddenly seems like a good idea. I mean I have NOTHING ELSE going on right now AT ALL.

(Except for the fact that we just moved, we close on our house in one week, I have ZILLIONS of things to do for the closing, once moved in I’ll have to unpack my entire house in lightning speed to get ready for Christmas, CHRISTMAS HOLY CRAP IT’S IN A MONTH, A MONTH!, Christmas shopping, Christmas decorating, Christmas parties, Christmas baking, and finding childcare because I’m GOING BACK TO WORK.)

I feel a little like yakking in the bathroom.

Three months ago, I’d have never dreamed that I’d be sitting in my kitchen in TENNESSEE, filling out an application for a JOB. Yet, here I am, filling out a job application, talking to my future boss on the phone about the schools that need a speech pathologist and the hours I’d work.

Originally, being a stay-at-home mom was something that I thought I’d do until the kids were in Kindergarten. Eventually, I pushed the timing back to *maybe* junior high. I’ve never even left my kids with a babysitter. But the thing is, I really think I NEED this.

The universe is on my side (so far) on this, too. Every time we’ve moved before, I’ve had to jump through about a gazillion hoops to get a teaching certificate. I recently discovered that my Tennessee teaching certificate is still valid, so there are NO HOOPS. Several of my former co-workers have emailed me and told me how desperately they are in need of Speech Pathologists. Randomly at a birthday party last weekend, I ran into a special education preschool teacher who begged me to come back to work. I was pulling my hair out in frustration trying to answer specific questions about the number of semester hours I’ve completed for the job application and realized that my mom works in Admissions at my former university and can get me all that information.

You have chills now, don’t you? I KNOW! It’s like I’m being guided by some unknown force into returning to work.

I really don’t think I have a choice.

But it doesn’t mean that opening this can of worms isn’t also opening an enormous ulcer.

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Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway is yet another way the universe is telling me that it’s time to return to work. Well, sort of, if you think really, really, really hard about it.

Who’d like to win a brand new laptop messenger bag from Tom Bihn.com, exactly like the one below…

One lucky winner will win that laptop messenger bag!! Tom Bihn has lots of great bags, messenger bags, laptop bags, backpacks, briefcases, to choose from! I’m thinking that I’m going to NEED a new bag for work!

To enter, leave a comment on this post!!

Comments on this post will close at 7 AM, EST, November 22, 2008.

Don’t forget that you have until tomorrow morning to enter to win the $50 gift certificate from Good for the Kids!

When the husband’s away, the wife will spend his money

Jennifer — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:00:25 +0000

I feel safe telling you now that he’s on his way home*, that Tate has been on vacation this past week. And when I say vacation, I’m referring to the type of vacation that took him away from home for 6 days, enjoying the bliss known as being “child-free.” It was a full-on MAN vacation filled with bows and arrows and farting, so although I could have come along, I decided to take my chances with the kids.

I really don’t want to be THAT wife, the one who’s jealous and not supportive, the MARTYR. Considering that I’m going on 6 solo days of parenting, in an increasingly crappy rental, fresh from a move that I wasn’t too jazzed about, I think I’m handling his vacation rather well. Oops, there I go, being the martyr.

Anyway, several times Tate has called while on his CHILD-FREE vacation, complaining about something. My poor eyes have nearly rolled out of my head with his moaning. Seriously, who calls the spouse who’s SINGLE PARENTING to complain about their vacation!? Oh right, Tate did that. Tate, the one who promised to “love and cherish” me, not “leave me alone while he’s goes on vacation, only to call and COMPLAIN.” Oops, and there I go again with that darned martyrdom.

He’s also called a few times with MY honey-do list, because apparently taking care of two toddlers alone for 6 days leaves me with ample time to do grunt work. Before arriving home, I’m supposed to have done something about calling somebody, but I can’t remember because, uh oh!, I wasn’t listening. I’m also supposed to find recipes for persimmons (what???), but gosh darn if the Internet wasn’t down (*eyes roll straight outta my head*).

And since I’m so good at not being THAT martyr wife, I did what any good wife would do. I went shopping. Certainly 6 single parenting days earned me a some new shirts a pair darling little flats, and some EXPENSIVE makeup from Sephora.

*Just in case you’re a creepy Internet stalker and thinking that you’ve got a small window of time to come over before Tate gets home, I think it’s only fair that I tell you about my Rottweiler named Jeffrey Dahmer.

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/snark

Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway is from Good for the Kids!

Angie from Good for the Kids is offering….drumroll…..

A $50 gift certificate for today’s giveaway!! $50!!! $50!!!!!

To enter, check out Good for the Kids and tell me how you’d spend your winnings (and feel free to comment on the above post, too).

Comments on this post will close at 7 AM, EST, November 21, 2008.

Don’t forget that you can still enter to win the Sassafras Kids Pizza Making Kit giveaway until tomorrow morning!

One way to get your toddler to eat breakfast

Jennifer — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:00:01 +0000

Carson has started eating breakfast while standing on an empty tote at the kitchen counter. Sure it’s a pain in the rump to clean up, but I DON’T CARE. I’m just happy that he’s eating.

Thank you all so much for all the truly useful advice you all offered me a few weeks ago concerning Carson’s dismal eating habits. I’ve definitely cut down on milk and snacks, and have tried to be all, “Oh I don’t care what you eat! Fine with me if all you have all day is one cheerio and two sips of water! Noooo problem! It’s fine, really. Fine!”

His eating IS getting better. Baby steps, baby steps.

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Today’s Reader Appreciation giveway comes from Sassafras, which sells all kinds of gourmet housewares, baking kits, and children’s toys and accessories!

Sassafras is offering one lucky winner a kid’s pizza making kit! This would be a great Christmas gift for your budding chef! And what a terrific way to get your kids’ involved in the kitchen!

To enter, just leave a comment on this post and cross your fingers that you’re the big winner!

Comments will be closed on this entry at 7 AM, EST, November 20, 2008.

Bonus!!! Sassafras is also offering 10% off of all orders for YOU, my readers, with the code PLAYGROUP!!

Comments closed!!! Thanks for playing everyone!

The contents of my purse. The stolen post.

Jennifer — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:00:22 +0000

I’ve stolen the idea for this post from Ali. I’m hoping that the extradition to Canada to face her wrath will be too complicated and she’ll forgo prosecution.

So now that we’ve gotten the fact that I’m a thief out of the way, I’d like to show you the contents of my purse. You’ll be pleased to know that none of the contents of my purse were stolen.

C.O. Bigelow Lemon Hand Treatment (LOVE!), 2 tubes of C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint (I’ve already talked about my love of these), 2 tubes of Lip Smackers (flashback: 1987), 3 packages of peanut butter crackers, a USB cord, 100 calorie pack of Lorna Doone cookies (they’re FOR THE KIDS!), my name tag from Blissdom ‘08, small bottle of 50 SPF Coppertone, Jessie Baylin CD (LOVE her!), trash, crumbs (not pictured), my cell phone, a maxi pad, an old grocery list, 3 coupons that are worthless, Skip Hop diaper caddy, my wallet, {***GIFT CERTIFICATE TO BUILD A BEAR!!!!!!****}, USB flash drive, baby nail clippers, 1 Germ-X hand wipe, 2 Dentabursts, a going away card from her, All About Trains DVD (what? don’t you carry DVDs in your purse?), my business cards, the formula from Aveda to color my hair, a juice box, a box of raisins, spare contact case, contact lens solution.

One of these items is today’s Reader Appreciation Giveaway…

Can you guess which one?? I mean, it’s not {***OBVIOUS***} or anything.

Well just in case you need a little help…here’s one more HINT.

Have you all seen their new Christmas Moose (or is it Meese?)…Holly and Hal? SO cute.

To enter to win the $25 gift certificate to Build a Bear Workshop, leave a comment telling me whether your purse is as random as mine!

Comments will close at 7 AM, EST, November, 19, 2008.

Don’t forget you can still enter the nonny & boo $50 gift certificate giveaway until tomorrow morning! Who new that the timing of this giveaway would be so perfect in the light of the Motrin ad fiasco and babywearing mamas….

This contest is over, comments closed!! Thanks for playing!!

The day the Internet died

Jennifer — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:00:51 +0000

You know that your Internet addiction is bad when your modem stops working and your brow develops a bead of sweat, your stomach fills with fluttering butterflies, and your brain cannot form thoughts.

Well actually, my brain could form thoughts…like, “I NEED to check my email.” “Twitter??? What am I missing?” “I wonder if she friended me back on Facebook?” “How many subscribers have I lost today?”….and on and on and on and on.

Thursday evening, after mentally planning my evening filled with Twitter, Google Reader, and StumbleUpon, my Internet DIED. No amount of troubleshooting could fix the modem or the connection or whatever the heck was wrong.

Friday morning I nearly pulled out every strand of hair, trying to get my Internet to just please oh please, just for one minute, I’ll never ask for anything again, oh please just work, I’m dying here, DYING, PLEASE WORK.

But no. The Internet had died.

There was one good thing that came out of my Internet exile, and that was a clean house.

Let me tell you, clean houses are HIGHLY overrated. Clean houses with working modems are far more enjoyable.

Let’s move on to today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway!! It comes from nonny & boo, an online store specializing in GORGEOUS baby slings and wraps, and so much more!!

nonny & boo is offering a $50 gift certificate to one VERY lucky winner! It would be a great gift for yourself or for someone you know who’s expecting a baby!

To enter, just leave a comment on this post! Good luck! I hope YOU win! Yes, YOU.

Comments on this entry will close at 7 AM, EST, November 18, 2008 (as long as my modem hangs on, that is.)

Congratulations to Kristy, winner of the premium Picnik subscription from Colleen at Mommy Always Wins, to Reeva, winner of the gift certificate from Oliebollen.com, to Beth winner of the gift certificate from studio jk vinyl, and to Jen, winner of the placemats from Olivekids.com!!

Comments are closed! Thanks for playing!!!

Sweet Spot

Jennifer — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:00:36 +0000

For about five spectacular days right after we moved to Tennessee, the moons aligned and both of my children were at the perfect age, the sweet spot, where I could spend more time enjoying them than redirecting or reining in their personalities. Ella’s teething and Carson’s tantrums were forgotten and giggles and glee took over. I don’t know if it was their insecurities at living in yet another new place or if they could feel my tension and knew that they needed to be good. Typically they rotate days, sometimes minutes, when one is on their best behavior, with all of their most wonderful toddlerness shining through, while the other one reminds me that intertwined with sweetness is powerful and sometimes earsplitting emotion.

Sure there have been moments where each one is being sweet in their own right, but in the time I’ve been BOTH of their parents, there has never been a string of consecutive days of toddler adoration.

I didn’t write about these days while they were happening, even though I was aware that they’d reached that sweet spot in their ages. I knew that if I wrote about it, the time would surely come to an end simply for the fact of having shared it. Instead, I folded up the experience and put it in my pocket and kept the little, warm secret all to myself. It is so rare for me to feel complete contentment in parenthood that I took those few days and absorbed their wonder.

At 18 months old, Ella is finally walking and charming me at every turn. Her tiny curls that rest on her neck and pink, sparkly shoes are a stark contrast to her love of being as messy as possible and making car noises. Of course, she can also be the quintessential toddler girl, choosing her outfits and playing dress-up with mama’s red shoes. Then there’s her sweet voice, constantly calling, “Maaaaama! Maaaaama!” as she toddles around, wearing one red shoe and her hands full carrying a Thomas train and a dish towel she’s found in the laundry.

Carson is a full-on three years old, but for those precious days he could not have been more lovable. The way he loves his sister and spontaneously tells her how much he loves her while looking in her eyes with much seriousness and conviction, it gives me hope that I’m doing something right. “I wuv you, Mommy,” he’d say sweetly while asking to help wipe off the counters in the kitchen. At bedtime, I could hear him singing himself to sleep, “Hit the road, Jack. And don’t ya come back, no more, no more, no more, no more…” or “Ba-ba-ba Ba-barbara Ann, Ba-ba-ba, Ba-Ba-Barbara A-an, ta-ake my ha-a-and…”

People often ask, or rather seem shocked, when I explain that my children are 18 months apart. I always find myself assuring people that we purposely had our children close together. I’m met with reactions of both relief (thank goodness it wasn’t an accident) and further shock that ON PURPOSE I’d put myself through the agony. I’m certain that whether they were nine months apart or four years, or any difference in age, there would always be difficult times.

Oh, these two toddlers of mine, I’m so thankful for those precious, perfect days. The sweet spot. Especially now that they’re back to their regularly scheduled teething and other sanity-draining behaviors.

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Today’s reader appreciation giveaway is graciously being offered by Olive Kids!

Olive Kids is a great online store that sells darling Kid’s bedding and bedding accessories, as well as, personalized goodies for kids!

For today’s giveaway, one lucky winner will receive 5 personalized placemats!!! (A $50 value!!!!)

To enter, just leave a comment on this post!

Comments will close on this post at 7 AM, EST on November 15, 2008.

Good luck!

Comments closed. Thanks for playing.

Paging Dr. Drew

Jennifer — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:00:43 +0000

Have I told you all about my latest obsession in addition to all things photography? I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but I’m totally and completely obsessed with Etsy.

My lack of crafty abilities combined with wanting to support small business has led to a full-on, in need of Dr. Drew*, ADDICTION.

Most recently, I’ve bought a handmade baby gift for a friend (I’d link to it here, but she might read this and I want it to be a surprise.) I’ve also been marking hundreds of items and sellers as favorites for Christmas gift ideas. If I’ve been absent from your blog lately, it’s not you. It’s my Etsy ADDICTION.

Since we’re moving into a new house soon and away from this floral infested rental, I’ve been scouring Etsy for cute and affordable art for Carson and Ella’s playroom. One of the shops I found was studio jk vinyl.

Studio jk vinyl has a wide selection of wall decals that are so unique and creative! I’ve narrowed it down to getting the kids’ monograms/names, crayon decals with their names, or maybe going with an owl theme in the room.

I love that you can choose colors and personalize the wall art with names. I think my love of monograms and names MUST be a direct result of my 3rd stint being a southerner! I also love that there are things that aren’t for KIDS, but for design-savvy ADULTS, like I dream of being.

Guess what!?

One lucky person will win a $25 gift certificate to studio jk vinyl for today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway! I really wish I could enter my own giveaway!

To enter, check out studio jk vinyl and tell me how you’d spend your winnings!

Comments will be closed at 7 AM, EST, November 14, 2008. Good luck!

*Speaking of Dr. Drew, have you seen Celebrity Rehab on Vh-1?! Oh man. I feel like I shouldn’t be a voyeur on those people’s painful therapy sessions, yet I get sucked in every time it’s on.

Comments closed. Thanks for playing.

Congratulations to Dore, winner of the Flippee!

Snack FAIL

Jennifer — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:00:57 +0000

Last week, I put my children in the care of church nursery workers for the very first time. It was a big step for me and my kids and a great leap towards lessening my babysitter anxiety.

A friend of mine had invited me to a bible study at church (I KNOW! Me? At a bible study!?) for women who’ve just moved and I was immediately interested when she told me that they offered free childcare. I think you can see where my priorities are. The bible? Yeah it’s fine, but FREE CHILDCARE!?! Sold!

Since I’ve never done anything like this before, I had no idea what to expect when leaving my children at a church nursery, but certainly I expected much gushing over my precious children. I fretted over all the details and logistics of having someone else care for my kids. Carefully I selected darling outfits that would make Carson and Ella look especially charming and cooperative. I made sure that their noses weren’t crusted with snot and their fingers weren’t sticky from syrup. Well dressed kids with snot-free faces=good parenting, right?

Along with their carefully selected clothes, I made sure they each had plenty of diapers and wipes, and packed them each snacks. Apparently the snacks I’d packed were a giant FAIL! Without thinking, I’d sent peanut butter crackers for their snack. FAIL. I realize how important it is for child care providers to be diligent about peanut products, so I felt like an idiot. They also have a policy against juice boxes, which I’d lovingly sent for both Carson and Ella. Double FAIL.

Instead of hearing how cute and well-behaved my children were, I got the ol’ stink eye* from the nursery workers.

PS. It’s possible I just imagined them giving me the stink eye.

PPS. We went back to the church nursery this week with PROPER snacks in addition to their snazzy duds. Still no gushing over how awesome my kids are, though???

PPPS. The bible study is surprisingly great. Everyone is so kind and this group has really been helpful in working through some of the anger and bitterness related to this move**. I’m so glad I decided to join despite this being something completely out of my norm and comfort zone.

*Phrase courtesy of Heidi.

**I just re-read the comments on that post. THOSE comments are why I appreciate you all and want to give you free stuff.

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This contest is OVER!

Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway comes from Oliebollen.com!

One lucky winner will receive $25 gift certificate to spend at Oliebollen.com! This awesome kids store offers adorable clothes (perfect for impressing church nursery workers!), kid’s room decor, toys, books, and so much more! Please go check them out, they really have so many great finds!

To enter to win the $25 gift certificate from Oliebollen.com, just leave a comment on this post!

Comments on this post will close at 7 AM, EST, on Thursday, November 13, 2008.

Good luck!

Comments closed! Thanks for participating!

More reasons why I love Picnik…and you can, too!

Jennifer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:00:13 +0000

This contest is over!

Today’s Reader Appreciation giveaway is near and dear to my heart. I know that I’ve talked about my love of Picnik, the web-based photo editing software, over and over again. It’s because I love Picnik and I love you enough to go on and on about it, sillys.

Colleen from Mommy Always Wins, whom I met at Blissdom ‘08 in Nashville, graciously offered up a Premium subscription to Picnik for my Reader Appreciation giveaway. A premium subscription to Picnik allows you access to ALL the great features!

Here are a few of my favorite Picniked photos…

To enter to win the Premium subscription to Picnik, just leave a comment! Everyone is welcome to enter, not only North Americans!

Comments will remain open until 7 AM, EST, Wednesday, November 12, 2008.

Good luck!

Comments are Closed! Thanks for playing!